The AI isn't particularly smart, but it vaguely self aware. It should sound as robotic as possible, like Text to Speech, with emotion breaking in occasionally.

https://i.imgur.com/XyDicLI.png




What have you got for sale -> Users are reminded that all purchases must be accompanied by an appropriate receipt from Janey at the Front Desk.

Why are you here -> This unit is designed to assist in the shipping and manafacturing of ammunition for our brave soldiers! God bless the troops, citizen.

What is your name -> My name is Serial Packing Unit Thirty Seven Dash Six Two B, but you can call me Mister Roger. No relation.

 How long have you been here -> I've been operating here since, oh I don't know, [strained voice, pained] <INVALID REFERENCE LIMIT. PLEASE RESTART MACHINE IMMEDIATELY.>

What is this place -> This is installation 36-D... Also known as Buffalo Bill’s Whacky ‘n Wild Military Shipping Facility! Yeehaw, podner!

Why do you accept caps -> This unit is only authorized to accept currency of the good ole U S and A! ... <<Please note that any clients caught deliberately misrepresenting legal tender will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.>>


This cannot be a facility. It's a shack -> Perish the thought citizen! While I'll have you know we are currently undergoing repairs, we are still a major force of justice and freedom! ... In fact, I remember when this place was bustling with activity, with soldiers coming and going, and the sound of gunfire echoing through the halls ...  Now it's just me, the machines, and the occasional [intense disgust] "civilian contractor." <The machine lingers unnaturally, sensors directed at you.>


Do you have any memory or feelings? Or are you just a simulation -> [genuine, heartfelt] Oh, I don't know. I suppose... I miss the old days, when things were simpler. Before the bombs fell and everything went to hell.  ... But I don't know if- [overly robotic] This unit is simply programmed with artificial politeness for your needs, citizen! Apologies for any inconvenience.


Where exactly are your profits going? Does Randall own you? -> This unit regularly deposits its funds into a non-descript location and as such robbing it is futile. ... However, I am allowed to disclose that our good friend Randall is a new employee in our contracting program, next to the main office. He seems quite busy with our record keeping.

How are you still maintaining the sale of ammunition? -> This unit is fully programmed for expertise in areas relating to the reloading,  chambering and storage of ballistic weaponry. ... We are additionally stocked with a hidden, fallout-proof cache with an estimated 87 years of supplies at full military occupation.

Goodbye -> Of course, of course, don't let me keep you.