Evilsteady 2 Session 18

[20:07] <!Emilybroshoujo> Okay.
[20:07] <!Emilybroshoujo> So.
[20:07] <!Emilybroshoujo> Malakai wakes up in his hotel room.
[20:08] <!Emilybroshoujo> Brutus wakes up at the alter he hastily constructed as a tribute to Erythnul in the basement of Guido's house.
[20:08] == Brutus has changed nick to Belor
[20:08] <!Emilybroshoujo> Sazir wakes up in bed, alone, because Eve isn't the type that's into cuddling.
[20:09] <!Emilybroshoujo> Vripe wakes up in a ditch.
[20:10] <!Emilybroshoujo> you all regroup at Guido's place.
[20:10] <!Emilybroshoujo> After the exchange of information you conclude the only remaining members of the Rose in this town are Eve and Jiggles.
[20:10] <!Emilybroshoujo> Neither of which pose an immediate threat.
[20:11] <!Emilybroshoujo> Conclusion, you need to find something to do for a week.
[20:11] <!Emilybroshoujo> I will leave the decision to tell everyone he fucked Eve or not up to Sazir obviously.
[20:13] == Taco_Hell has changed nick to Sazir
[20:13]  * Sazir takes a sit as he sips on a mug of coffee. "Hmm, so that's our situation at the moment. We have two lovely, hopefully soon to be dead, ladies who are of no threat to us. We should use this time to strengthen ourselves, find magical items, totems, whatever we find useful."
[20:13] <Sazir> (er not totems, tomes, BAH)
[20:15]  * Belor sips on his cup of tea "I would have to agree with my old friend on this point. While we are doing good so far we must strengthen ourselves even more for the days ahead of us"
[20:17]  * Sazir nods. "Not to mention that if what Eve told me last night was true, then should we find a way to counter the Rose's magic, then they will fight amongst themselves making it easier for us to pluck them."
[20:17]  * Malakai smiles maniacally
[20:17]  * Malakai laughs to himself at an inside joke
[20:18] <@Malakai> "OW"
[20:18] <Imouto> 'Huhuhu~'
[20:18] <@Malakai> "Oh, almost forgot. Sazir, I wanted to give you something."
[20:18]  * Sazir looks over to Malakai. "Still with the voices huh? And what would that be, friendly heretic?"
[20:18]  * Malakai rummages  around in his pack and tosses Sazir a tome. [Tome of Leadership and Influence+5]
[20:19] <@Malakai> "I have no use for fancy books, I figured you would enjoy that."
[20:19] <Imouto> 'That's cause you're stooooopid~'
[20:19]  * Sazir looks over the Tome and a creepy smile crosses his face as he opens the cover and reads the first few pages. "Hmm...yes, totems like this is what we need."
[20:19] <Belor> " A worthy addition to our hold cause old friend!"
[20:19] <@Malakai> 'Shut up birdgirl.'
[20:19] <Sazir> (So, +5 to my Cha then?)
[20:20] <Belor> (hehehe.... totems)
[20:20] <@Malakai> (yep)
[20:20] <Sazir> ((AND AGAIN, I MEAN TOMES))
[20:20] <@Malakai> (/me fistbumps)
[20:20] <Sazir> (What is with me and writting tomes as Totems?! AAAAAAAAH)
[20:20] <Belor> (You secretly want to be a shaman)
[20:20] <@Malakai> (IT'S YOUR INNER BEAR DRUID TRYING TO GET OUT. RELEASE IT TACO! EMBRACE ITTTTTTTTTT)
[20:20] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Ye lads be lookin fer a mit bit o' treasure?" You hear a scarrgly voice from across the bar.
[20:21] <Sazir> (>Sazir now has 23 cha)
[20:21] <Sazir> (>Just needs two more so he can be used to summon that lewd demon)
[20:21] <Imouto> 'Don't trust the creepy voice, that's how Papa steals his children'
[20:21]  * Sazir looks across the bar. "Know of any?"
[20:21] <@Malakai> '....Erythnul steals kids...? ....Forget I asked...'
[20:21]  * Imouto kicks the inside of Malakai's head again
[20:21] <Imouto> 'Metaphors!'
[20:21] <@Malakai> "OW"
[20:21] <!Emilybroshoujo> A one eyed dwarf with a thick white braided beard sits across from you, several empty bottles of ale littered around him.
[20:21]  * Belor raises his eyebrow "Oh? Please do tell~"
[20:22]  * Malakai rubs the side of his head
[20:22] <!Emilybroshoujo> "If ye lads seek treasure, what be yer requirements? A large quantity o' gold n' magics in a single convenient place?"
[20:23] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Wll fer that thar be only one choice. Ye need ta be slayin a dragon."
[20:23] <Sazir> "A...dragon? ...What sort of dragon?"
[20:23] <Imouto> 'I always wanted one of those'
[20:24] <Imouto> 'Send it to me when you kill it, I want a pet! I'll call him Fluffy.'
[20:24] <!Emilybroshoujo> "I know of a few o the beast in the area meself, I been trackin em for many a moon, but I don't have the strength ta bring em down anymoore."
[20:25] <@Malakai> '....you realize dragons have SCALES, right...?'
[20:25]  * Belor taps his finger against his glass " And you would just tell us where these dragons are?"
[20:26] <Imouto> '...Not when they're just bone'
[20:26] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Aye, they be a menace. Like overgrown reptilian jackdows pilferin good money from good folk that could be spendin it on me wares."
[20:26] <Imouto> 'You can have fluffy bones..s'called bein fat.'
[20:27] <Sazir> "And what sort of treasure would these creatures have?"
[20:27] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Ye see I be a blacksmith, an I've got experience makin weapons an armor out o' dragonhide."
[20:27] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Ye never heard the stories lad?"
[20:28] <Sazir> "Can't say I have, I tend to ignore things that aren't of my interest."
[20:28] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Mounds of gold and jewels, weapons and armor with magical power, treasures collected across centuries of life at the top o the food chain."
[20:28] <Imouto> 'HE'S SAZIR HOW CAN HE NOT WANT A FUCKING ZOMBIE DRAGON?! YOU ASK HIM RIGHT NOW!'
[20:28] <!Emilybroshoujo> "All gathered togeather in the dragons hoard."
[20:28] <@Malakai> ',,,,nope...'
[20:29] <Sazir> "So...if we bring down this dragon, and bring his scales, can we then expect you to make us weapon and armor?"
[20:29] <Imouto> 'Do it'
[20:29] <@Malakai> 'No.'
[20:29] <Belor> "Then.....the older the dragon the greater the hoard of loot?"
[20:29] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Aye fer a price, the information be free, not the labor."
[20:29] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Aye lad, that be how it is."
[20:30] <!Emilybroshoujo> "An if ye lads are lucky and come back alive I'll give ye another reward as well, one you'll be makin use of fer the rest of ye lives."
[20:30] <Sazir> "Hm...tempting...fine, where is this dragon?"
[20:30] <!Emilybroshoujo> "So, do ye want ta kill a dragon?" The dwarf asks with a toothy grin.
[20:30] <!Emilybroshoujo> (WIL YOU PLEASE)
[20:30] <!Emilybroshoujo> (WAIT)
[20:30] <!Emilybroshoujo> (GOD)
[20:30] <@Malakai> (lol)
[20:31] <!Emilybroshoujo> (I HATE that.)
[20:31] <!Emilybroshoujo> (DMing in text sucks)
[20:31] <Sazir> (Well maybe one day you don't have to. One day.)
[20:31] <!Emilybroshoujo> (;_;)
[20:32] <!Emilybroshoujo> Anyway.
[20:32] <!Emilybroshoujo> He knows the location of 4 dragons.
[20:33] <!Emilybroshoujo> A black dragon makes it's lair in a swamp to the east of town, he's dug a series of tunnels through the mire and uses it to ambush travellers.
[20:33] <!Emilybroshoujo> He's the youngest of the nearby dragons.
[20:34] <!Emilybroshoujo> Then next youngest is a green dragon that lurks in the forest a days ride to the west.
[20:35] <!Emilybroshoujo> She's a violent dragon that actively assaulted and supressed the elves in the forest and now, using her elven slaves as a front, has her scaley fingers in the black market.
[20:36] <!Emilybroshoujo> Next is a vicious red dragon who's been ruthlessly striking down caravans in the mountains.
[20:36] <!Emilybroshoujo> His hoard should be nice and beefy with exotic goods from the Eastern Lands.
[20:37] <!Emilybroshoujo> Then there's a kind female bronze dragon who makes her home on the coast near Phelia, she's the oldest and wealthiest dragon in the area but you'd have to be some kind of heartless monster to attack her.
[20:37] <!Emilybroshoujo> She makes her wealth by assaulting pirates in the waters around Phelia.
[20:38] <!Emilybroshoujo> There may be more but those are the only ones he knows of in the area.
[20:38] <!Emilybroshoujo> Now discuss and decide which one to take on.
[20:38] <!Emilybroshoujo> I need to potty.
[20:39] <Sazir> "Hmm...the best choice would be the bronze dragon. She would more than likely have the most gold and magical items. Not to mention, I would like to see what an old dragon would look like as an undead~."
[20:40] <@Malakai> "I'm fine with whichever you guys want to go after."
[20:40] <Sazir> OH! Oh Emmy, what would happen if say after we kill the dragon, I feed my white wyrmin some dragon meat?
[20:40] <Imouto> 'Huhuhu~'
[20:41] <Belor> "I would have to say I am torn between hunting down the Red dragon or the bronze dragon for both are very tempting targets"
[20:42] <Sazir> "Come now old friend, just think of the gold and items she might have in her lair? And it's not like we have to settle on just killing one."
[20:44] <!Emilybroshoujo> The Bronze would eat you alive at the moment.
[20:44] <Belor> Very true my friend, but then why not go after the slightly younger red one first before we take on the oldest of the four?"
[20:44] <!Emilybroshoujo> I intentionally listed them in order of difficulty.
[20:44] <Sazir> "Then at the same side, we could just kill all four and work our way up~"
[20:45] <Sazir> "After all, we could use with a few sacrificial elves, can't we old friend?"
[20:46] <!Emilybroshoujo> The first 3 are Mature Adults.
[20:46] <!Emilybroshoujo> The Bronze is Old
[20:47] <!Emilybroshoujo> Also black < green < red by default.
[20:47] <!Emilybroshoujo> So you know.
[20:47] <Sazir> Yeah, that's the plan now I think
[20:47] <Belor> "....a most wonderful idea! and we might want a few of the elves as "meat" shield for the oldest dragon"
[20:47] <Belor> >So which one do you want to face?
[20:47] <Belor> >all of them
[20:48] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Gahahahahaha, ambitious young lads..."
[20:48] <Sazir> "So, go from the black, to the green to the red, and finally to the bronze then? I'm sure my lovely [Insert Wyrming name here because I forgot to ask if it was a male or female] would love to try all their meats~"
[20:48] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Alright, come back to me after ye've slain the black dragon and we'll talk more on the subject.
[20:48] <!Emilybroshoujo> Female.
[20:49] <Belor> (Can't wait till it grow up~)
[20:49] <Sazir> "It's only through ambition can we make our vision reality, can we not? Then lets gather our supplies and move to attack then."
[20:49] <Sazir> ((AH, then her name will be...hmm...Nera?))
[20:49] <!Emilybroshoujo> Also her name is "Slovianth" which is draconic for "an arcane glyph draw in the snow"
[20:49] <Sazir> ((Oh! Great))
[20:49] <Sazir> ((Then insert Slovy up there))
[20:49] <!Emilybroshoujo> So.... "Snow Angel" would be the common equivalent.
[20:50] <Sazir> ((Oooooh))
[20:50] <!Emilybroshoujo> Or some other name for a pattern in the snow.
[20:50] <Belor> "Yes! For we must get ready for our encounter...."
[20:51] <Sazir> "I'm as ready as I'll be, but if any of you need more time..."
[20:51] <!Emilybroshoujo> "I am ready as well..." Rose says deadpan as she draws her sword slowly with a malicious aura around her.
[20:51] <!Emilybroshoujo> After yesterdays failure she's out for blood....
[20:52] <!Emilybroshoujo> Also Maria is in fighting condition now.
[20:52] <!Emilybroshoujo> (You'll need all the help you can get)
[20:52] <!Emilybroshoujo> FYI: Donnie has all your remaining slaves fixing up your house in Phelia.
[20:52]  * Sazir pats Rose on the head. "I'm sure you'll be able to use that to your heart's content...hmm. Hold on, I think there might be two more who might help our cause."
[20:53] <Belor> "Hmmmm or I had a question Mr. Dwarf.....are dragons immune to things such as poison?"
[20:53] <Belor> oh I had *
[20:53] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Aye, they're known for their mighty constitutions, but not all of them are totally immune."
[20:53] <Sazir> Would I be able to find Jiggly and Eve before we go?
[20:54] <Belor> I am of the same mind!
[20:54] <Sazir> CREEPY BROTHERS! HOOOOOOOOOO!
[20:55] <!Emilybroshoujo> You can try.
[20:55] <!Emilybroshoujo> d20
[20:55] <Belor> Welcome to the Creepy Brothers company!
[20:55] <Sazir> roll 1d20
[20:55] <!Emilybroshoujo> Sazir rolled : 1d20 --> [ 1d20=2 ]{2}
[20:56] <!Emilybroshoujo> You step in a pile of dog poop.
[20:56] <!Emilybroshoujo> Your turn Belor.
[20:56] <Sazir> 20! 20! 20!
[20:56] <Belor> Roll 1d20
[20:56] <!Emilybroshoujo> Belor rolled : 1d20 --> [ 1d20=19 ]{19}
[20:56] <Sazir> ...
[20:56] <Sazir> GOOD ENOUGH!
[20:56] <Belor> GO DICE GODS!
[20:56] <Sazir> Mental note: Always go 20! 20! 20! before every roll
[20:56] <!Emilybroshoujo> You find Jiggles eating a bag of powdered doughnuts.
[20:57] <Sazir> Just Belor or both of us?
[20:57] <!Emilybroshoujo> She looks at you with her lethargic expression beore she swallows.
[20:57] <!Emilybroshoujo> She stares blankly with powdered sugar on her face.
[20:57] <!Emilybroshoujo> Or cocaine.
[20:57] <!Emilybroshoujo> You're not sure really.
[20:58] <!Emilybroshoujo> Just Belor.
[20:58] <!Emilybroshoujo> Everyone else has had their shit slapped by Jiggles, is it Belors turn now?
[20:58] <Imouto> I haven't!
[20:58] <Imouto> But I'm dead it's a moot point.
[20:58] <ANTS> neither have I
[20:59] <ANTS> oh shit, dnd
[20:59] == ANTS has changed nick to Vripe
[20:59] <@Malakai> (pfft)
[20:59] <!Emilybroshoujo> Oh yeah, Vripe is still sleeping at home.
[20:59] <Vripe> thank you
[20:59] <!Emilybroshoujo> He's going to be upset when he finds out you guys are going dragon hunting.
[20:59] <Vripe> once I finish this paper, he might do something
[20:59] <!Emilybroshoujo> Hurry.
[20:59] <!Emilybroshoujo> They'll need you as bait.
[20:59] <!Emilybroshoujo> It's your duty as a rogue.
[20:59] <Vripe> tonight?
[20:59] <!Emilybroshoujo> Probably.
[21:00]  * Belor slowly walks up to her "Well well well....what do we have here?"
[21:00] <!Emilybroshoujo> "A halfling eating sugary pastries. What do I win?" She responds flatly.
[21:01] <!Emilybroshoujo> Well now you know why she has a jigglebutt.
[21:02] <Belor> "Why for that some coin if you have something that would help defeat a dragon"
[21:02] <!Emilybroshoujo> "...... Poisons will just piss most dragons off. Stop being dumb."
[21:04] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Though I might be able to help." She says as she eats more doughnuts.
[21:05]  * Belor sighs and starts to walk away but stops and turns around "In what way?"
[21:05] <!Emilybroshoujo> She holds up two of her tiny fingers.
[21:05] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Two conditions."
[21:05] <Belor> "And those would be?"
[21:05] <!Emilybroshoujo> "I get 40% of the dragons monatary trasure, you can keeep the magic stuff, I don't care."
[21:06] <!Emilybroshoujo> "And..... I get to ride it."
[21:06] <Vripe> (...as in-!)
[21:06] <!Emilybroshoujo> You can tell by her completely stonefaced expression she's not even remotely kidding.
[21:08] <Belor> "Hmmmm" he strokes his chin ".......I think we can live with said conditions"
[21:09] <Belor> "So.....how could you help us with some dragons?"
[21:09] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Kay..." She says as she stands up and eats doughnuts as she follows you.
[21:11]  * Belor leads her back to secret lair also known as the inn where they are staying
[21:12] <Belor> "Though I do have a question....why would you want to ride one?"
[21:12] <!Emilybroshoujo> "because I've never ridden one..."
[21:14]  * Belor shrugs "I guess that is as good a reason as any"
[21:15] <!Emilybroshoujo> The two of you return to the bar.
[21:15] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Hi... I'm here to take your money and ride a dragon."
[21:16]  * Belor clears his throat "She will be helping us in overtaking the dragons while we claim our prizes"
[21:17]  * Sazir looks at Jiggly and smiles. "Well well, seems I won't have to find you after all. Know where your friend could be?"
[21:17] <!Emilybroshoujo> "I don't have any friends."
[21:18] <!Emilybroshoujo> She deadpans.
[21:20]  * Sazir comes closer to her. "Well, perhaps after this time you might think of me as one. Then let me ask you something else, where is Eve?"
[21:21] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Did you check inside your pans?"
[21:21] <!Emilybroshoujo> She deadpans.
[21:21] <!Emilybroshoujo> pants*
[21:23] <Sazir> "That I did, unfortunately it seems she didn't want another go so soon. So I take it you don't know?"
[21:23] <!Emilybroshoujo> "Nope..."
[21:25] <!Emilybroshoujo> We're stopping.
[21:25] <!Emilybroshoujo> My fucking tooth hurts and I'm tired of playing.
[21:25] <!Emilybroshoujo> We'll pick up here tomorrow.