Bateman to Villid

I live in the Alternian Garden$ Hive$tem on W. 81$t $treet on the 11th floor. My name i$ Büjorn Villid. I'm 9 $weep$ old. I believe in taking ¢are of my$elf and a balan¢ed diet and rigorou$ exer¢i$e routine. In the morning if my fa¢e i$ a little puffy I'll put on an i¢e pa¢k while doing $toma¢h ¢run¢he$. I ¢an do 1000 now. After I remove the i¢e pa¢k I u$e a deep pore ¢lean$er lotion. In the $hower I u$e a water a¢tivated gel ¢lean$er, then a honey almond body $¢rub, and on the fa¢e an exfoliating gel $¢rub. Then I apply an herb-mint fa¢ial ma$k whi¢h I leave on for 10 minute$ while I prepare the re$t of my routine. I alway$ u$e a horn poli$h with a¢tive fungi¢ide, $in¢e u$ing a horn poli$h without them ¢an yellow your horn$, and that make$ you look ru$tblooded. Then moi$turizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moi$turizing prote¢tive lotion. There i$ an idea of a Büjorn Villid; $ome kind of ab$tra¢tion. But there i$ no real me: only an entity, $omething illu$ory. And though I ¢an hide my ¢old gaze, and you ¢an $hake my hand and feel fle$h gripping your$ and maybe you ¢an even $en$e our life$tyle$ are probably ¢omparable... I $imply am not there.

SS: Do you like Troll Huey Lewi$ and the New$? ───δ
PA: they're ok
SS: Their early work wa$ a little too new wave for my ta$te$, but when $port$ ¢ame out in '83, I think they really ¢ame into their own, ¢ommer¢ially and arti$ti¢ally. The whole album ha$ a ¢lear, ¢ri$p $ound, and a new $heen of ¢on$ummate profe$$ionali$m that really give$ the $ong$ a big boo$t. He'$ been ¢ompared to Troll Elvi$ ¢o$tello, but I think Troll Huey ha$ a far more bitter, ¢yni¢al $en$e of humor. ───δ
PA: hey, stramm
SS: Ye$, Llyenn? ───δ
PA: why are there copies of the executions section all over the place? do you have a barkbeast lusus? do you have a little chow or something?
SS: No, Llyenn! ───δ
PA: Is that a raincoat?
SS: Ye$ it i$! In '87, Troll Huey relea$ed thi$, Fore, their mo$t a¢¢ompli$hed album. I think their undi$puted ma$terpie¢e i$ "Hip to be $quare", a $ong $o ¢at¢hy, mo$t people probably don't li$ten to the lyri¢$. But they $hould, be¢au$e it'$ not ju$t about the plea$ure$ of ¢onformity, and the importan¢e of trend$, it'$ al$o a per$onal $tatement about the band it$elf. Hey, Paulal! ───δ
Splat
SS: TRY GETTING A RE$ERVATION AT DOR$IA NOW, YOU FU¢KING $TUPID BA$TARD! YOU, FU¢KING BA$TARD! ───δ

Do you like Troll Phil ¢ollin$? I've been a big Gene$i$ fan, ever $in¢e the relea$e of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't under$tand any of their work. Too art$y, too intelle¢tual. It wa$ on Duke where Troll Phil ¢ollin$' pre$en¢e be¢ame more apparent. I think Invi$ible Tou¢h wa$ the group'$ undi$puted ma$terpie¢e. It'$ an epi¢ meditation on intangibility. At the $ame time, it deepen$ and enri¢he$ the meaning of the pre¢eding three album$. Kri$ti, take off your robe. Li$ten to the brilliant en$emble playing of Troll Bank$, Troll ¢ollin$ and Troll Rutherford. You ¢an pra¢ti¢ally hear every nuan¢e of every in$trument. $ebryn, remove your dre$$. In term$ of lyri¢al ¢raft$troll$hip, the $heer $ongwriting, thi$ album hit$ a new peak of profe$$ionali$m. $ebryn, why don't you, uh, dan¢e a little. Take the lyri¢$ to Hive of ¢onfu$ion. In thi$ $ong, Troll Phil ¢ollin$ addre$$e$ the problem$ of $ubver$ive lowblooded rebellion. In Too Deep i$ the mo$t moving pop $ong of the 1980'$, about va¢illation and la¢k of ¢ommitment. The $ong i$ extremely depre$$ing. Their lyri¢$ are a$ negative and di$¢ouraging a$ anything I've heard in ro¢k. Kri$ti, get down on your knee$ $o $ebryn ¢an $ee your wa$te ¢hute. Troll Phil ¢ollin$' $olo ¢areer $eem$ to be more ¢ommer¢ial and therefore more $ati$fying, in a narrower way. E$pe¢ially $ong$ like In the Air Tonight and Again$t All Odd$. $ebryn, don't ju$t $tare at it, eat it. But I al$o think Troll Phil ¢ollin$ work$ be$t within the ¢onfine$ of the group, than a$ a $olo arti$t, and I $tre$$ the word arti$t. Thi$ i$ $u$$udio, a great, great $ong, a per$onal favorite.

SS: Did you know that Troll Whitney Hou$ton'$ debut LP, ¢alled $imply Troll Whitney Hou$ton had 4 number one $ingle$ on it? Did you know that, Kri$ti? ───δ
CG: You actually listen to Troll Whitney Houston? You own a Troll Whitney Houston CD? More than one?
SS: It'$ hard to ¢hoo$e a favorite among $o many great tra¢k$, but "The Greate$t Love of All" i$ one of the be$t, mo$t powerful $ong$ ever written about $elf-pre$ervation, dignity. It$ univer$al me$$age ¢ro$$e$ all boundarie$ and in$till$ one with the hope that it'$ not too late to better our$elve$. $in¢e, Elizet, it'$ impo$$ible in thi$ world we live in to empathize with other$, we ¢an alway$ empathize with our$elve$. It'$ an important me$$age, ¢ru¢ial really. And it'$ beautifully $tated on the album. ───δ

I'm fairly ¢ertain that Timoth Ybry¢e and Evelyn are having a va¢illation. Timothy i$ the only intere$ting per$on I know. I'm almo$t ¢ompletely indifferent a$ to whether Evelyn know$ I'm having an affair with ¢urtni Rowlin, her ¢lo$e$t friend. ¢urtni i$ almo$t perfe¢t looking. $he'$ u$ually operating on one or more p$y¢hiatri¢ drug$; tonight I believe it'$ Xanax. More di$turbing than the drug u$e, though, i$ the fa¢t that $he'$ engaged to Lui$¢a Ruther, the bigge$t doofu$ in the bu$ine$$.

There are no more barrier$ to ¢ro$$. All I have in ¢ommon with the un¢ontrollable and the in$ane, the vi¢iou$ and the evil, all the mayhem I have ¢au$ed and my utter indifferen¢e toward it I have now $urpa$$ed. My pain i$ ¢on$tant and $harp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fa¢t, I want my pain to be infli¢ted on other$. I want no one to e$¢ape. But even after admitting thi$, there i$ no ¢athar$i$; my puni$hment ¢ontinue$ to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of my$elf. No new knowledge ¢an be extra¢ted from my telling. Thi$ ¢onfe$$ion ha$ meant nothing.

SS: Howyrd, it'$ Villid, Büjorn Villid. You're my lawyer $o I think you $hould know: I've killed a lot of people. $ome girl$ in the hive$tem uptown uh, $ome hivele$$ people maybe 5 or 10, um, an UAU girl I met in the park. I left her in a parking lot behind $ome donut $hop. I killed Betani, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and $ome man uh $ome faggot with a dog la$t week. I killed another girl with a ¢hain$aw, I had to, $he almo$t got away and uh $omeone el$e there I ¢an't remember maybe a model, but $he'$ dead too. And Paulal Llyenn. I killed Paulal Llyenn with an axe in the fa¢e, hi$ body i$ di$$olving in a bathtub in Hell'$ Kit¢hen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I gue$$ I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tape$ of a lot of it, uh $ome of the girl$ have $een the tape$. I even, um... I ate $ome of their brain$, and I tried to ¢ook a little. Tonight I, uh, I ju$t had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not $ure I'm gonna get away with it thi$ time. I gue$$ I'll uh, I mean, ah, I gue$$ I'm a pretty uh, I mean I gue$$ I'm a pretty $i¢k guy. $o, if you get ba¢k tomorrow, I may $how up at Harryy'$ Bar, $o you know, keep your eye$ open. ───δ

I have all the ¢hara¢teri$ti¢$ of a troll being: blue blood, fle$h, $kin, hair; but not a $ingle, ¢lear, identifiable emotion, ex¢ept for greed and di$gu$t. $omething horrible i$ happening in$ide of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlu$t ha$ overflown into my day$. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my ma$k of $anity i$ about to $lip.