Upon Our Fated Stage (ch3)

EARLY RELEASE FOR MY $50+ PATRONS! THANK YOU! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Glad to have a few readers for this! Now the chapters will have new content and will switch slightly between both girl's perspectives from time to time, though this one will mainly stay with Maya.

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

-----------

												Chapter 3. A Fated Tragedy

For the first few weeks, Maya is slightly hesitant with her new rival. The last thing she wants is to spook her off or chase her away unintentionally.

In the past, she wouldn't care one way or another if her behavior caused people to avoid her.

But with Claudine, Maya is actually mindful for once. She just doesn't want to lose her; this girl who had offered to stretch with her on their first day, proclaimed she would give Maya a run for her money, sat with her at lunch and treated her like a normal person...

But as the weeks go by, it's gradually made clear to Maya that she doesn't have to worry about losing Claudine Saijou.

She isn't like the rest of Maya's self-proclaimed "rivals" who only ever lasted a few weeks before slinking off or dropping out altogether.

Claudine never backs down from the challenge of practicing, stretching, or performing with Maya during class. Claudine seeks her out every time, so much so that now Maya is expecting to see her whenever she turns around.

There was no more uncertainty about finding a partner, no more awkward, rueful classmates waddling up to her with begrudging offers. Claudine Saijou is always right there waiting with stern eyes and an expectant hand. And she's there every time without fail.

And after a month of classes, it's gotten to the point where Maya has forgotten her old way of life. She no longer has to feel like she's inconveniencing or discomforting others who are too intimidated to accompany her, nor does she have to limit her own skills in order to match someone of a lesser degree.

Claudine can handle her – not only physically, but verbally as well. She keeps up with even Maya's most rigorous routines, and she keeps up with grace and style.

And though she'll blush and huff and snap witty comments at just about every turn, nothing Maya does ever dissuades her.

The bond they've established quickly and clearly becomes a special one.

Their classmates and instructors take note as well. Most applaud the pair, but of course others are ridden with jealousy.

But Maya and Claudine are used to both kinds of people. Nothing hinders them as they work, day by day, toward achieving their mutual goal of becoming top student; Maya to maintain her position and Claudine to surpass her for it.

And they work more than just during class times as well. Maya often comes by the dance studio a few evenings a week to practice on her own. But ever since week one she's found the studio occupied.

Claudine is there, every night without fail, pushing herself nearly to the point of collapse to perfect every little technique, every angle of her hand or tone in her voice. She never misses a day, and she never retires early.

Sometimes Maya joins her, always to Claudine's initial chagrin, and they'll work on things together.

But sometimes Maya simply observes, usually unannounced. She's fallen in love with Claudine's unbridled passion, her purely motivated heart that will stand for nothing less than the best. She never lets up, and she never slows down.

It nearly brings tears to Maya's eyes. She'd been alone for so long, without a partner to match her fire, to the point that she'd begun to think no such person existed.

But here she is.

She is so drawn to Claudine she begins to take on some side objectives as well, mainly picking out new books. Maya's dorm room has a shelf packed tightly with them; books she'd read during classes and mealtimes and on weekends due to a lack of anyone wanting to socialize with her, and her own inability to initiate such a scenario.

Recently, thanks to a certain someone, Maya has had less time to read, but she is by no means upset about it.

Still though, she does manage to get through a few books on the weekends, and she makes sure they're ones that teach French. After all, she can't possibly be a partner worthy of Claudine if she can't understand all those little mumbled comments under her breath whenever Maya makes her blush.

She has to admit she doesn't just appreciate Claudine's passion, but the girl herself. Holding her hand in any dance number always gives Maya a thrill. Leading her through the steps in spite of Claudine's pout, supporting her weight in a dip, spinning her in a twirl...

All of it is so enjoyable for Maya.

It's so much... fun.

To finally have a partner she can trust, who trusts her. No ulterior motives or festering jealousy. The only thing between them is a shared desire for success, and a knowledge that they can only get there together.

Their main objective has become centered on the school's selected play that will be coming up at the end of the year; Starlight. They want those main roles as Claire and Flora, and they want them together, because they know by now that no one else will suffice.

There's plenty of time before they have to start worrying about casting roles for Starlight, but that doesn't mean they ever take things easily.

There are various smaller stage plays and performances throughout the first few weeks, everything from dance to song. They're all rather brief displays, mostly to get people back into the swing of things after summer break.

Naturally Maya and Claudine are cast for many of the lead roles, though other girls are given the chance as well.

By this point, Maya knows just about everything there is to know about Claudine Saijou, thanks to their daily conversations interspersed with minor arguments in class or in the dining hall.

But the one thing she has yet to figure out is where she goes right before a performance.

Every time, Claudine makes herself scarce just before she's to go onstage. Maya never realizes when she disappears, nor can she figure out why.

Oftentimes Claudine's already gotten dressed into whatever outfit she'd been given depending on the performance, and doesn't return until only minutes before they need her.

And when she does return, she always gives a stellar performance, unmatched by anyone else, even Maya. She has her own charm and beauty with which she paints the stage and captivates the audience, in a way Maya can never hope to.

Of course she has her own way, but she appreciates the fact that Claudine has her own unique and breathtaking style.

Whether Maya is onstage with her or simply observing this time around, Claudine never ceases to amaze her. She looks stunning in any costume, sounds angelic in any song, speaks as powerfully or as timidly as necessary in any role she's given.

Watching her always makes Maya's heart race, perhaps for more reasons than just one. Practicing behind the scenes with her and during class times have become Maya's daily pleasures.

But surely nothing beats working together with her onstage.

The chemistry they'd painstakingly established over the weeks of practice finally culminates and expresses itself with incomparable radiance beneath the spotlight, in front of a wonderstruck audience.

Acting with Claudine gives Maya a thrill like nothing she's ever known.

She never wants it to end. She almost wishes these days could repeat themselves in an endless loop.

Even a tragic fate like that is one she'd gladly accept, so long as Claudine Saijou is at her side.

The next play the school decides upon is none other than a slightly altered version of the classic, Romeo and Juliet.

And when the announcement for the selected cast goes up, no one is all that shocked at the results; Maya is chosen as Romeo, and Claudine as Juliet.

Claudine basks in the praise of her classmates who all squeal and fawn over her talent. It isn't the first leading role she's gotten herself over the weeks, but it's clearly one she's particularly happy about.

Maya has to wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that she will be playing Claudine's other half. In her own case, that's certainly the reason Maya is so eager.

Maya is the kind of person who always craves and strives for the lead role, and so long as she gets it, she hardly cares much for whomever else she's working with; as long as she can have her spotlight, nothing else matters.

But the moment Claudine Saijou had joined the academy, all that had changed.

Maya had been anticipating their first proper play together as the two leads, and what better one than a romantic Shakespearean tragedy?

Amongst the crowds of cheering, swooning classmates, Maya catches her partner's eye. Claudine meets her gaze with equal emotion; determined, stern, and perhaps the slightest bit excited.

Something tells Maya she's been waiting for this, too.

As soon as classes are over that day, Claudine is strutting down to the dance studio to begin practicing. Maya lets her get a head start, but follows about a moment later.

Usually when she raps her knuckles against the sliding door to announce her presence, Claudine will jolt and whirl around and snap at her. But today it's different.

Claudine – already dressed in her casual track suit – turns and glares at her. And though she isn't as flustered as usual, she's still beautiful.

"It's about time," she huffs. "We've got a lot to go over."

As soon as Maya's gotten changed out of her uniform, Claudine is already barking orders.

And while Maya would typically take charge of most practices, she's inclined to let the French girl lead today. Of course Maya wants to maintain her top position in charge, but she doesn't want to smother Claudine's efforts altogether.

So they read lines and begin memorizing, they go over major scenes and minor conversations, they work out the best ways to express themselves, the most appealing ways to move their bodies and project their voices.

Every day after school they are practicing for the play, most times right up until curfew and nearly to the point of exhaustion. Maya knows for a fact that Claudine is the type to push herself almost dangerously sometimes, so she's certain to keep a close eye on her and call things off when necessary, no matter how angry Claudine might get. After all, there is a grave difference between working your hardest toward achieving your goal, and letting it consume you.

Maya enjoys her private practices with Claudine immensely more now that they have actual roles to rehearse together, and actual scenes to perform as a main pair.

Of course they take time to practice on their own for scenes where they are apart, but ultimately they always finish the evenings together.

. . .

It's one evening, after about a week of all this, when it happens.

Maya has just entered the studio, already dressed for practice, when Claudine proclaims the statement that conflicts Maya like nothing ever has before.

"We need to practice our kissing scenes."

Now of course Maya has performed plenty of roles with plenty of kiss scenes, and no doubt Claudine has, too. However, this will be their first time doing such a thing with one another, and no one can deny there is a not-so-secret tension burning between them.

Maya treads carefully, both literally and figuratively, as she makes her way over to her partner today, maintaining her calm demeanor in spite of the tightness teeming in her chest.

"Very well. Shall we begin with the scene in act IV?"

"That's what I was about to suggest."

Maya dips her head, trying not to appear more excited than she is, and offers her hand.

Being an altered version of the original, this play offers a few more romantic scenes, mainly to appeal to the younger audience. This includes a dance scene between the main lovers.

Maya offers her hand for the dance, and Claudine accepts mainly because she has to; but also a little bit because she wants to.

Maya leads her, envisioning them in their lavish costumes, but even without the appeal of the flowing dress, Claudine is still as dazzling as ever. Her movements are strong and controlled, her steps are swift and confident. She keeps up with Maya as always, matching her step for step, breath for breath.

It's only a brief scene, and after just a minute, Maya finds herself moving towards the final spin. It's a shame it doesn't last longer, but at the very least it has a grand finale. She leans forward as Claudine leans back, supporting her weight almost entirely as they finish.

Those last movements always give Maya an extra thrill. She loves being able to hold her like this, when Claudine has put all of her trust in Maya's care. It's Maya's job to keep her safe and steady, to prevent her from falling or stumbling. She's never enjoyed dancing as much as she has this year with Claudine Saijou as her partner.

As they finish, Maya holds her for a moment, gazing down into her eyes like liquid rose quartz as Claudine catches her breath, her hair cascading down behind her as she rests in Maya's hands.

But before Maya can lead them into the most-anticipated scene, Claudine lifts her hand up between them.

"All right, stop."

Maya would be lying if she were to say she isn't disappointed, but she respects Claudine's wishes above all else. She lets her up, and Claudine promptly turns away and begins her rantings.

"Now, before you get carried away, I have to assume you know how to kiss someone onstage? Or do they not teach it the same way in Japan?"

"That depends," Maya says. "If the actors performing the kiss are romantically involved in real life as well as onstage, there's nothing fancy to do. They'll simply kiss."

Claudine whirls around, fists clenched and face red.

"That is not what we are doing! Apparently it's a good thing I stopped you!"

Maya chuckles.

"Worry not. It was never my intention to do that. I'm simply stating the facts."

"Then would you be so kind as to show me the proper way to kiss onstage for people like us?"

"Of course." Maya lifts a hand to her mouth and positions her thumb horizontally across her lips to cover them.

Claudine heaves a sigh.

"Good. At least you know that much..."

This method is where both parties place their thumbs across their lips and open their other fingers, so that when they lean close their hands conceal what is truly happening, which is that their thumbs prevent their lips from actually touching. But to a far-away audience, the proximity and emotion alone are good enough to let people imagine what is happening on the other side of their hands.

Maya holds her position and waits expectantly. Claudine grunts.

"It's not nearly as romantic to see you waiting and looking so ridiculous like that."

Maya removes her thumb and laughs again.

"My apologies. Shall I try being a bit more romantic about it?"

"For the sake of the play, yes."

Claudine's true feelings remain a mystery. From what Maya can tell through Claudine's stolen glances at her and her apparent desire to be around Maya more often than anyone else, she could be interested in her as more than just a rival.

But the last thing Maya wants to do is assume. She's never had feelings for someone else before – not like this – and she isn't even sure about her own feelings. She has yet to figure things out in that department, but perhaps practicing for a kiss scene could be a good time to try.

So Maya bends down into a bow and offers her hand in a rather romantic fashion. Claudine exhales sharply, but accepts.

Maya pulls her in swiftly, looping an arm around the small of her back and holding Claudine to her chest, bringing them so close so quickly their noses almost bump.

"H-Hey! Watch it!" Claudine yelps. "Give the girl a concussion right before the kiss; how romantic indeed!"

"My apologies. I simply couldn't resist."

"Impatient and infuriating. Good to know. Now then-" Claudine rests one of her hands on Maya's shoulder and pries her back a pace, then lifts the other to her own face. "You initiate the first kiss, so you'd better not let that thumb of yours slip."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Saijou-san."

"Good... Well then, whenever you're ready."

Claudine does her best to maintain a neutral expression, but Maya can see the faint blush on her cheeks.

And if she's anything like Maya herself – which Maya believes she is – she's an absolute mess on the inside. For Claudine to suddenly and willingly hand Maya all control of the situation puts a bit more pressure on Maya than she'd expected.

But Maya doesn't falter – at least not visibly, though mentally and emotionally she's rigid as stone.

She tries to act natural, like she would for any other fake kiss with any other person.

But this isn't just any kiss with any person. This is her first kiss with Claudine.

Maya looks into her eyes for a moment, searching for any signs of reservation. But on the contrary, Claudine closes her eyes in consent. It alleviates a bit of the pressure to not have her staring right at Maya.

Maya draws in a quiet breath and just barely remembers to place her thumb across her lips first before leaning in. She can feel her tensing up, and hears the sharp little intake of breath on Claudine's part as Maya closes the distance between them. Her fingers just barely brush Claudine's cheek, and her thumb only grazes lightly against her partner's lips, but she feels Claudine resisting almost immediately. Maya pulls away without a second thought.

"Sorry. Was it too much?" Maya loosens her hold on her so she can slip away if she needs to.

But Claudine remains close, opening her eyes and lowering her gaze.

"No. It was fine."

"Pardon my saying it, but you don't seem fine."

Even now, as Maya's hand rests gently over Claudine's side, she can feel her heart pounding. It's enough to express that this isn't just embarrassment or shyness at the notion of "kissing" her dance partner. Maya lets her hand fall away from their mouths, and instead rests it on Claudine's shoulder.

"Saijou-san...? Should we perhaps refrain from doing this?"

"Of course not," she sighs. "We have to."

"We don't," Maya says firmly. "Not if it makes you this uncomfortable."

"I just need a moment. I'll be fine if it's with you."

Her words both shock and delight Maya. At the very least, they uncoil the knot that had been forming in her stomach, gnarled with worry that Maya being the one kissing her was the reason for Claudine's hesitance. It makes Maya feel a little better, but she still needs to be sure.

"You're all right with me...?" She can't stop her fingers from curling into Claudine's shirt just a little bit. Claudine grips her shoulders with equal force.

"Of course I am. I trust you, after all."

Maya is more conflicted now than ever before. She longs to be overjoyed by hearing those words from Claudine's mouth, but she's still too worried to enjoy them.

"That makes me... unspeakably happy to hear, Saijou-san. Believe me."

"Well, you should've expected it. You've earned my trust, after all."

"But the kissing scene is not something you're comfortable with...?"

Claudine looks down, anywhere but Maya's eyes.

"It's just that... in France, a lot of the time my partners onstage were boys. And a lot of the time they'd kiss without their thumbs..."

Maya feels her heart ache. She's never seen this delicate side of Claudine Saijou before. And while she's happy to be bearing witness to it, she's more angry than anything.

"They... They didn't-"

"They did," Claudine snarls. "And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it but accept it for the sake of the play. Of course I'd give them an ear-full afterward, but... it still wasn't pleasant at the time..."

Maya can't make sense of all the emotions warring inside her at the moment. She's excited at having earned enough of Claudine's trust for her to have opened up to her like this, yet furious at the notion of some random boy on another continent stealing Claudine's first kiss without her permission, simply because he could.

Maya has never been taken advantage of like that. In fact, the thought had never even crossed her mind. It might have had something to do with the fact that she'd only ever attended all-girls schools, but even if any one of her past partners had tried something as horrendous as that on her, Maya would have sought out the ultimate retribution.

She grits her teeth, proud to know Claudine had fought back afterward, but frustrated to know she'd been unable to defend herself in front of the audience. She can't even begin to imagine how horrible it must have been, how upsetting, how heartbreaking...

She pulls Claudine in without thinking, and hugs her gently.

"I'm sorry."

It makes her sick. To think such a strong and independent girl like Claudine could have been rendered entirely helpless by some conceited boy who probably didn't even deserve to play her accompanying role. Maya shakes her head, hating to think about the unfairness of it all.

Claudine is quiet for a moment and makes no effort to push Maya away. When she does speak again, she's got a bit of vigor back in her tone.

"It's certainly not anything you need to be apologizing for." She draws back, letting out a soft sigh. "I should be over it by now. I can't keep being this sensitive about it, or else it'll begin to affect my career."

"You can't blame yourself," Maya warns. "We can just take things slowly. If you don't feel comfortable just push me back."

"I'd rather not," she mutters. "But fine. Only if I need to."

Maya offers a small, kind smile, trying to let her rage filter into something more gentle; there's nothing she can do to change Claudine's past, but she can do her damnedest to improve her future.

Maya waits for her to get her bearings, waits for Claudine to take in a breath and give her a nod.

Maya lifts her hand once again, pressing her thumb across her lips and leaning forward an inch toward her. She doesn't reach out for her this time, but rather lets Claudine initiate the contact.

Once she feels the weight of timid arms around her shoulders, Maya moves closer. Her heart is racing, and she can feel Claudine's acting the same way beneath her palm.

Once again, Maya has to remind herself this is only a fake kiss. Nothing more.

She gets within an inch of her lips and pauses when she feels Claudine tense up again. Maya waits, patient and respectful. Once Claudine seems to understand she isn't being forced, she relaxes a little.

"Go ahead."

"Are you sure?"

"Quickly. Before I change my mind."

Maya doesn't go quickly though. She gives Claudine plenty of time to draw back or push her away if she needs to.

But she doesn't, and to Maya's utmost relief it doesn't feel as though Claudine is uncertain any longer.

Maya allows her thumb to brush softly against Claudine's lips, and lets her fingers spread out over her cheek, but makes no further contact.

They part, silently coming to the agreement to commence the second kiss the scene calls for, one which Claudine reciprocates with her own hand on Maya's cheek. Her fingers are soft and warm, and the contact sends Maya's heart fluttering.

Of course she's touched her and been touched by her before in plenty of practice routines and stretches, but never quite like this.

It's tender, sweet.

Even if it is all just an act.

They share a second staged kiss, which is realistic enough to convince any passerby or onlooker. But thankfully, there is no one to interrupt them.

When they do finally part, Maya's bloodstream feels as though it's alive with a ticklish static charge. It leaves her positively giddy, but she doesn't want to let it show – not if Claudine is still on-edge about it.

Maya loosens her hold on Claudine as they reopen their eyes and step apart.

"Was that all right?"

Claudine's gaze lingers on Maya's lips for a split second before turning elsewhere.

"It was just fine. And your concern is appreciated, but unnecessary. You don't have to hold back if it's for the sake of the play."

Maya frowns and shakes her head.

"That's not right, Saijou-san. Nothing comes before your own comfort. Don't sacrifice your feelings just for a play."

When Claudine next looks up at her, her bright eyes are brilliant and clear.

"I'm not sacrificing my own comfort. Not when I'm with you."

She says it without hesitation, with such conviction that it takes Maya aback in the most humbling of ways. Though Claudine does soon realize the embarrassing nature of what she's just said, so she looks to the floor. Maya immediately misses her eyes, but settles for listening to her voice for the time being.

"I mean it, Tendo Maya. You're the only other person who shares this passion of mine to such a heartfelt extent." She draws in another breath and lifts her face. Maya finds herself gazing into pools of rose quartz once again as Claudine lies her feelings bare. "I trust you, Tendo Maya."

It's surely the most profound moment Maya has ever experienced. It moves her, stirs something within her heart that event Claudine Saijou hasn't stirred until now, something powerful and warm. Maya takes one of her hands and drops to one knee. She kisses the back of Claudine's hand gently.

"I swear I will never betray that trust, Saijou Claudine."

"Wh-What are you doing? This isn't part of the play! Get up!"

"As my lady commands."

"Enough," Claudine huffs, yanking Maya back up to her feet. "While we're on the subject, I suppose we should practice our finale kiss as well."

"You're all right with that?"

"If I weren't, then I wouldn't have suggested it."

Maya holds her gaze for a moment longer, watching the smile form on Claudine's lips. There truly is a bond of extraordinary trust between them, one laced with threads of gold connecting their hearts. Maya smiles back.

"All right."

The final scene their characters will share onstage involves Romeo being poisoned in death, therefore Maya lies herself down on the floor of the studio. Where the first kiss had been initiated by Maya, and the second had been mutual, the third and final kiss will be handled entirely by Claudine.

Maya folds her arms over her chest and looks up at her expectantly. Claudine blushes as she kneels down at her side.

"Close your eyes! Or must I remind you you're deceased?"

"Right. How could I forget?" Maya chuckles and closes her eyes, painting that image of Claudine's blush onto the backs of her eyelids.

There's a moment of silence as Claudine fidgets a little and prepares herself, then asks, "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"That was a test. Dead people don't talk. You aren't ready."

"My apologies."

Maya waits another moment or so, until she can feel Claudine leaning over her. She puts on her best acting skills now when there is no audience - only her partner - as she feels it takes even greater effort to conceal her emotions for Claudine than to convince an entire crowd of people.

She can feel Claudine's breath on her cheek, then the feather-light brush of her fingertips, and finally the bump of her thumb against her mouth. It's the first time Claudine has ever touched Maya's lips first, and if Maya's got anything to say about it, hopefully it won't be the last.

And maybe one day it won't be Claudine's thumb, but her own mouth instead.

As her runaway thoughts clash and cause turmoil in her mind, Maya doesn't realize the false kiss has ended until Claudine lets out a loud grunt. Maya opens her eyes and slowly sits herself up. Claudine snorts.

"That sure took awhile. I was almost beginning to think you really were dead."

"Death itself couldn't stop me from standing onstage with you."

"It's so reassuring to know I'll have your ghost with me at all times." Claudine offers her hand and helps Maya back to her feet. She seems to be in better spirits now, so Maya lets herself relax as well.

"Is there anything else you'd like to practice today?"

"Not particularly. You?"

"Not particularly."

Claudine rolls her eyes a little, but ultimately smiles.

"Then I suppose we're finished for the evening."

"I suppose so. It's almost suppertime. Shall we?" Maya offers her hand.

Claudine is still for a moment, as if remembering past partners who had done the same; hands she'd ended up regretting accepting.

But eventually, Claudine reaches out for her and squeezes Maya's hand with a firmness that speaks volumes to the assurance of her choice.

"We shall."

Maya feels her smile growing, and she squeezes her hand back.

They head off to supper together side by side, and hand in hand.

They continue practicing religiously together over the next few weeks before the play.

It isn't long before they're able to go through the entire play together, even the parts that aren't theirs. And after much delicate patience, Claudine seems to have overcome her hesitance at the kissing scenes.

Somewhere along the lines, Maya had wondered if that had anything to do with Claudine's tendency to disappear before a performance. Just about everything their school has done so far this year has involved some kind of romance or romantic theme. Perhaps that sort of thing discouraged her after her poor experiences in France; though those awful boys couldn't even have the privilege of being considered actual romantic interests.

They were nothing more than scum, in Maya's book.

But she could definitely understand if they'd hurt Claudine enough to make any notion of romance off-putting to her.

Maya doesn't expect or intend to cure her, but she'll do her very best to help Claudine through things in whatever way she can.

Presently, it's a Friday evening at Seisho Academy, and the play is going to begin in a little under an hour. The audience is filing in bit by bit, excited and intrigued.

But on the other side of the curtain, the actresses are always a little chaotic. Stage crew and lighting directors are making last-minute changes and preparations, actresses are practicing their lines and scenes together just to make absolutely certain they've got everything right.

But despite being one of the leads, Maya doesn't feel the need for that. Romeo and Juliet is a play she's done many times in the past, in many versions, and this certainly isn't her first time playing the title character.

But it will be her first time with a Juliet who can match her passion. And her charm.

Maya has just finished getting dressed in the changing stalls behind the stage. The blue button-up shirt is made immensely more fancy with its puffed color, pristine lapels, a sash across her breast, and a prop sword at her skirt. The makeup specialist will soon tie her hair back into a low ponytail once Maya sees her, and add in any other final adjustments when the time comes.

But for now, Maya is set on her goal of keeping her eyes on Claudine.

She's already gotten into her dress; a long, flowing cream-colored gown with ruffles lining the edges, sleeves, and collar. Golden patterns are embroidered into the fabrics, and when the lights shine just right it makes her glimmer as though stardust has fallen by her command. The natural curls of her silvery-blonde hair have never suited any of her roles quite as beautifully as this one, and the usual black headband has been swapped for a crown of innocent pink flowers.

For now, Maya can only catch glimpses of her through the crowds of their fawning classmates, but she can feel her heart racing at the mere sight of her.

Rehearsing with her for these roles in private had been romantic enough. But now to be wearing the outfits in addition to the magical atmosphere has Maya all the more thrilled.

She keeps an eye on Claudine, though she maintains her distance.

But it's when Nana calls for her that Maya looks away.

"Tendo-san? They're going to need you over here in a few minutes for some costume adjustments."

"All right."

And when she next turns around, her princess has vanished.

Maya seeks her out casually at first, trying not to seem too curious, hoping that someone had seen where she'd gone.

But after a few more minutes, there's still no sight of her. People begin to notice.

"Hey, where did Saijou-san go?"

"She disappeared again? Why does she always do this right before she has to go on?"

"She always comes back in time though."

"I guess you're right. But we only have under half an hour left..."

Maya tenses up as she continues her search. She knows Claudine wouldn't have gone far from the stage; not this close to a performance. She can't be back at the dorm rooms or anywhere off campus.

As a nervous chatter begins to sweep through her classmates, Maya begins searching a little more thoroughly. She looks behind every curtain and changing stall, but Claudine is nowhere to be found backstage.

She whirls around and begins heading toward the nearest bathroom, the collective one on the bottom floor of the school, beside the showers.

As Maya struts off, she leaves the agitated and worried conversations of her classmates behind for a quieter hallway. So quiet anyone would have believed it was vacant.

But Maya checks the bathrooms anyway, peering around the corner.

Her princess is there with her back to Maya, pale hands clutching at one of the sinks, head bowed.

Maya can't see her expression in the mirror due to her hair concealing her face, but something immediately tells her that Claudine hadn't simply come here for one last restroom break before the play.

Maya can only assume it's some kind of good luck ritual Claudine might do for herself before a performance, looking herself over in the mirror and hyping herself up, or something of that nature, something she prefers to do in private.

Either way, Maya is simply relieved to have found her, and doesn't really consider much else. She walks into the restroom without concern for consequence and heads straight for her.

"This is where you've been, Saijou-san? Everyone is looking for you."

Claudine jumps at the sound of her voice, nearly stumbling as she half-whirls around to face her while still keeping ahold of the sink.

Maya freezes upon seeing her face.

Her rosy eyes are slightly glazed, her hair is frazzled, and her skin is an almost sickening pallor. Her grip on the sink is tight enough to drain the blood from her fingers, and her other hand has come up to hold her stomach. When she speaks, her voice is ragged and scratched.

"You... You think I don't know that?"

Maya's heart catches in her throat when she realizes this isn't just some self-practiced pep talk.

This is serious.

Claudine's breath is coming in hard, and the ruffles of her dress amplify the trembling of the body underneath.

Maya takes a small step forward, reaching out for her.

"Saijou-san... what's going on? You're not well-"

"I'm just fine, damn it." The hand on Claudine's stomach rises up to her chest now, and she gives her head a vigorous shake as if to fend off whatever is ailing her. "Just... give me a moment..."

But Maya won't have it. She takes another step closer and rests her hand gently on Claudine's shoulder, feeling for herself just how badly she's quivering.

"Saijou-san, let's go tell the teacher. You can't perform like this."

"Yes I can," she snaps. "I told you just give me a minute-"

"You can barely stand!" Maya cries. "We'll just have Hanayagi-san fill in for you! You can't possibly go onstage like this! We're starting in fifteen minutes!"

And whatever fragile composure Claudine has been trying to keep hold of until now finally slips away. Her hand flies to her mouth as a strangled gasp chokes its way out, and before Maya can react, Claudine tears herself away from the sink and pushes her way into a stall. She drops to her knees and retches into the toilet so violently Maya can hardly believe what she's seeing.

"S-Saijou-san!"

Maya runs to her and crouches at her side, gathering her hair for her and holding it off to one side. The sounds of Claudine choking and being sick make Maya's insides twist in an awful panic that grips her like talons.

She holds Claudine from the front with one hand, supporting her chest and feeling the painful shuddering of her heart. It only gets worse when Maya realizes she's started to cry.

"Saijou-san..."

It's horrible. The most horrible thing Maya has ever witnessed in all her life. Her beautiful princess snared in the throes of agony - agony that is physically harming her.

And the prop sword at Maya's hip can do nothing to protect her.

All she can do is hold her up, running her other hand up and down Claudine's shivering back. Both of Claudine's hands have gone up to Maya's arm across her chest to cling to her as she retches once again.

Maya can't bear to see her like this. She can't help herself. She leans closer and gently pulls Claudine to her, as if trying to shield her from this awful attack.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I... I'm sorry..."

She has her answer now.

The signs had been there since Claudine had entered and introduced herself on day one. She was an expert at concealing it, but Maya had had an inkling.

She'd seen stage fright manifest itself in all sorts of ways before, but she'd only heard of cases this severe.

So this was why Claudine always made herself scarce before a performance.

This is where she was going, and what she was doing.

All alone.

And Maya feels wretched to know she'd only made things worse by piling up the pressure on her, reminding her that everyone else was waiting, and that they only had so much time left before curtain.

It's her fault it got this bad.

Maya grits her teeth tightly, but her hands on Claudine's chest and shoulders remain gentle.

At long last Claudine is quiet, save for the labored meekness of her breathing. Maya reaches out to grab a bit of toilet paper and clean her off before flushing everything down. Claudine can still barely catch her breath, and the shaking hasn't stopped, nor have the tears.

Maya feels responsible. So she pulls her close and holds her in a soft, but firm, embrace.

Claudine's hands fumble for purchase at her sides as she buries her face - in shame, no doubt. Maya strokes through the waves of her hair and all down her shivering back, feeling the jolting beat of her heart in her chest. There's only one thing she can think to say now.

"I'm sorry..."

She repeats it many times over the next few minutes, until Claudine's hiccups have finally dwindled away. She draws in one last deep breath before letting it out in a sigh, and the last of the shivers work themselves out.

Maya doesn't let go of her just yet. She has no idea what to say or do now that she's discovered this horrible secret of hers.

Naturally, that's the first thing Claudine addresses when she's able to speak again.

"Don't you dare... tell anyone..."

"Saijou-san-" Maya eases herself back, though she still keeps her arms at the girl's waist, still half-expecting her to sway. "This is severe. How long has this been happening for?"

"It isn't always this bad," she mutters.

"Even so, surely just a little is still too much!"

"It's fine," she quips. "It's never stopped me before, and it damn well isn't going to stop me tonight." With this, Claudine begins pushing herself to her feet. Maya hastily follows, supporting her with both arms.

"Take it easy! You just lost an entire day's worth of energy!"

"That doesn't matter. We're about to go on."

"Saijou-san!" Maya tries to hold her back, but Claudine breaks free. She staggers toward the far wall of the bathroom and pulls over a small stool, which she climbs upon without hesitation. Maya hurries over to hold her steady. "What are you doing? You can't possibly intend to go on after that!"

"You need to mind your own business. I said it's fine..."

Maya can still feel her trembling as Claudine reaches for the shelf where extra toilet paper and paper towel rolls are stored on the high shelf. She watches her nudge some of them away until she grabs hold of something.

What she pulls down into her hands is a small pink cosmetics bag. Claudine promptly unzips it and pulls out a small tooth brush and paste, which she brings directly to the sink to begin brushing.

For her to be this prepared, this expectant of getting sick before a performance, enough to have prepared and hid supplies in advance...

Maya feels as though the tiled floor beneath her boots is moving. She doesn't know what to do.

Her hands are begging to reach for Claudine and bring her to the infirmary, to let their fill-ins act for them tonight.

But some part of Maya knows Claudine would never forgive her if she did.

Claudine brushes her teeth with a practiced vigor, her eyes now focused on her reflection. She rinses her mouth out, then fishes through the bag for some makeup, which she applies so her skin doesn't appear quite so sickly pale. Finally, she sprays a bit of perfume to cover up any lingering scent of her sickness.

When she's finished, she steps back up to hide her bag on the shelf once more, then kicks the stool away. She begins strutting toward the bathroom's exit without a second glance.

Maya barely snaps out of her trance in time to grab her wrist.

"Saijou-san, please. You can't do this."

Claudine glares back at her with unfazed fierceness.

"Watch me."

She pulls her hand free of Maya's and stalks out.

Maya is left utterly at a loss. She can hardly believe what she's just seen here. The strong, proud, beautiful Claudine Saijou reduced to a nervous wreck in the bathroom stall, shivering and heaving with such violence.

How long has this been happening for? For how many of their performances? And Maya had never bothered to follow her when she'd disappear until now.

And she has to keep quiet about it. Not only will Claudine kill her if she doesn't, but the rumors and backlash it would cause for Claudine would be unbearable. The competition will do anything to take down a top player like her, and they won't be hesitant to sink as low as possible to do it.

For Claudine's sake, Maya can't breathe a word about this to anyone.

Eventually, she hurries out of the bathroom and toward the stage, where a crowd of flustered classmates are waiting for her.

"Tendo-san!"

"There you are!"

"Geez, we're about to go on!"

It seems they've already gotten Claudine ready as well. Maya steals a glance and tries not to take her eyes off of her.

And it's almost difficult to believe she'd just been a trembling mess on the bathroom floor not five minutes ago. Had Maya not been there with her to witness it, she never would have suspected a thing.

Claudine stands as tall and as proudly as ever, with her eyes and heart clearly set on the success of this play. When she moves, it's with elegance, and when she speaks it's with confidence.

Her acting skills go far beyond simply portraying a character onstage.

Now, knowing what she does, Maya has to wonder just how much of Claudine's daily life she spends putting on an act.

She has to force her mind off of thoughts of Claudine for now, as the curtain soon rises and the audience beyond is waiting.

All throughout the play, Maya is half expecting Claudine to collapse or choke up from her stage fright.

But she never lets so much as a hair slip out of place, never steps a second too early or too late, never lets her voice hitch or crack even the slightest bit. As the heroine, she steals the performance as brilliantly as she should, and then some.

Of course, Maya does her part as Romeo as handsomely and charmingly as though it were second nature. She feels more powerful than ever when she is onstage, but particularly when Claudine is there with her.

They make it through all of the timid touches and brief romantic encounters of the play, including their first kissing scene.

When Maya faces her and takes her hand, she tries her best to read Claudine's expression.

But her true feelings are expertly hidden behind the actress' mask.

Even so, Maya is extra gentle when it comes time for the fake kiss, doing it just as they'd practiced, not allowing anything more than her thumb to touch Claudine's lips.

The audience coos softly, and then a bit more loudly as Claudine reciprocates for the second kiss.

Maya wants nothing more than to risk a whisper, to ask if she's all right. But the perfectionist side of her that demands every play be flawless wins out. She can only gaze worriedly into Claudine's eyes in the brief seconds before they part.

Claudine doesn't give her any concrete response; not in words, nor in glances, nor in touches of her hand.

So they continue with the play. As they say, the show must go on.

Maya focuses on her acting, but divides her attention slightly to give some of it to Claudine.

And as expected, her partner manages to give an astoundingly stellar performance right until the very end.

After all is said and done, Maya lies prostrate on one of the stair platforms as if slain for her love. Claudine collapses on top of her in agony and delivers her heart-wrenching speech of love and loss.

And in all her years, Maya's never found it quite so difficult to keep up her own act before.

Claudine has made it this far without showing a single sign of her stage fright.

But now, with their intimate proximity, even with her eyes closed, Maya can feel her shaking again.

Claudine probably only allows it because it works for the character in this highly emotional scene, but Maya can tell the shudders that are jolting through her body aren't fabricated.

It's the most agonized Maya has ever felt during a performance. Feigning death, she can't even reach out to hold her hand, or give her a silent glance to remind her of just how seriously she is treasuring the trust Claudine had given her.

She feels Claudine lean down over her, feels her breath, choppy and hitched, as she rests her hand against Maya's cheek.

Maya wants so badly to open her eyes and to reach up for her.

But as things are, she can only imagine the sight of her in all her tragic beauty, with the golden and crimson spotlights making her glow like an ethereal fallen angel.

Maya waits, feels the anticipation of the audience as Claudine leans forward and kisses her prince, concealing her thumb between their mouths with expert timing, just as they'd practiced.

For a brief moment in time the entire room is quiet. Every person is suspended in silence, awed by the horribly beautiful kiss, enraptured by Claudine's heartfelt acting.

She kisses Maya for longer than they'd practiced.

And Maya can't be sure if it's an actual slip, or something more, but towards the end of it, Claudine's thumb shifts elsewhere, and their lips bump together softly.

It takes everything within Maya's power not to open her eyes from the shock of it.

But she knows Claudine well enough by now to understand that contact on her lips.

It's a plea.

One for all to see, but for only Maya to understand.

Please don't tell...

She trusts her. Claudine truly trusts Maya with all her heart.

Maya feels a warm tear that isn't her own drip down onto her cheek.

Claudine Saijou truly is a force to be reckoned with. She has chosen now - this moment in front of the entire school and an audience - to reveal her weaknesses to Maya.

And she'd done so when Maya is entirely unable to respond.

Claudine has complete control, complete power.

That kiss was indeed a plea not to reveal her secrets, and also a promise to never forgive her if she does.

And Maya quite literally has no choice but to accept.

Claudine projects her final words as Juliet before taking the blade to her chest. Maya hears her cry out, hears the blade clatter onto the stage.

And then Claudine's weight is slumped over her, limp and warm and still quivering ever so slightly.

It's agonizing to have to wait for the closing words from other actors. But the second the lights go out and the scene shifts, Maya wraps both arms around Claudine without thinking.

"Saijou-san-"

But Claudine sits them both up and cuts her off with a glare so stern it pierces even through the darkness.

"Don't you dare say a word, Tendo Maya."

Maya can't think of how to respond in time before the stage crew is bustling around them, hurrying them offstage for the scene change of the finale.

Maya rests her hand at the small of Claudine's back and leads her backstage, and though Claudine does her best to walk a little faster, she ends up leaning back against her touch more often than not.

Their classmates swarm them in seconds, congratulating them on an outstanding performance, cooing and sniffling due to how moved they are.

"You guys were amazing! As usual!"

"I just love Romeo and Juliet! It's like, so tragic but just so romantic, y'know?"

"That's why it's such a masterpiece. You guys were awesome!"

"Saijou-san, when you stabbed yourself and screamed, I started to cry!"

"I know! I could really feel the grief! I need more tissues..."

Claudine humbly accepts the praise.

"Thank you, girls."

And in this moment, watching her like this, Maya knows she could never breathe a word of Claudine's secret. Because that would be jeopardizing her ability to perform, and thus set her back from achieving her dream.

Maya knows it's the same as her own dream. To inspire people, to evoke emotion in them in a way that is unique to acting, in a way no one else can.

In spite of Claudine's expertly-concealed exhaustion, Maya can see that glimmer in her eyes as she thanks her classmates and companions.

She truly loves this. She loves having let them express their emotions. She loves letting them live vicariously through a character's story. She loves it so much.

Maya could never take that from her. Nothing could.

Even if people did somehow find out about Claudine's stage fright, not even the ridicule and teasing that would be sure to follow would be enough to stop her. The fire in her soul burns far too brilliantly.

Maya feels it envelop her now more than ever, in the aftermath of a successful and beautiful performance. Claudine is basking in her passion, relishing her results.

Maya almost feels guilty. She feels she doesn't have half the passion Claudine Saijou harbors.

As their peers bumble around them, and Maya's own crowd bombards her with endless praise, she loses hold of Claudine.

But after the final scene has ended, all of the actresses return to the stage for a final bow. Maya waits at the center, and Claudine files in beside her. She takes her hand, and they share a smile before facing their crowd and dipping low.

Thunderous applause follows them all the way off-stage, where more of their classmates are waiting.

It takes nearly fifteen minutes for everything to begin calming down again. Maya had lost sight of her again, so now she goes on one last desperate search for her.

But it's Claudine who finds her this time. Hidden within the thick red velvet shadows of the stage curtain, Claudine reaches for her hand as she passes by.

Maya feels the quivering fingertips brush against the back of her hand and beckon her. No one sees her disappear.

Claudine clutches her with such ferocity, such desperation as she weeps, nearly tearing through Maya's costume.

"Please..." she begs. "You can't tell anyone... you can't..."

Maya locks both arms around her and pulls her close, giving her a safe place to tremble and cry. When she replies, it's from the heart.

"I will bring your secret to the grave. I swear it."

She seals that vow with a small kiss to her temple, holding her in the quiet solace of the stage.

-----------

A/N: This is an idea I've been dying to explore for months. Canon gave us hints of Claudine's stage fright, but played it off as not that big of a deal. I choose to believe it isn't so bad in the canon timeline, but that initially it was devastating to her.

I really wanted to delve deep with this story for these two, to let them see the deepest darkest parts of themselves, and each other. Though it will still go a bit deeper and darker than this.