Russian Family according to the Americans

— Honey, I am home!
— Why are you so late?
— Our bear twisted his ankle — I had to give him vodka.
— Everyone sit down! Let’s have some vodka.
— Mom, I’m gonna go play with the bear.
— Alright, but drink some vodka first.
— Where is Grandpa?
—He’s been standing in line to get coupons, so that he can get more coupons for the past 2 weeks.

— Good thing he drank some vodka before he left. You shouldn’t rest on your laurels either – go have some vodka.

— Alright, son, make sure to write that KGB report in the evening! And on your way home, please buy some vodka, because we are running out.
— Honey, it’s too hot in here. Can you please turn the nuclear reactor off?
— Let me finish my vodka and I will turn it off. And you go play the balalaika.