Newton Wins Again

>Walking past Statuary Hill on the outskirts of town.
>The hill is the end of a long chain of raised land that stretches away from town a few dozen miles.
>At the top is a popular park, featuring bronze statues of local heroes, hence the name.
>Or, rather, it used to be popular.
>These days, a herd of stray and feral fluffies has commandeered the place.
>You're about halfway along the curved sidewalk at the base of the hill when you notice movement at the top.
>It's a long way to look up.  The hill is about two hundred feet high.
>You see a bloated orange fluffy with a blue mane and tail.
>Can't really tell anything else, she's too far away.
>Two more blobs of color appear beside her, one light grey and one dark blue.
>A dam and her attendants.
>You can't figure out why they'd be over near the edge.
>Usually, whenever you've been up there, the herd is clumped around the statues.
>The fluffies are constantly trying to chase the statues off, because they're human shaped.
>The statues always win these fights.
>Apparently, this herd has not had good contact with people.
>You stop walking to see if you can hear anything.
>”Fwuffies wollin' mumma!” the blue mare says.
>”Fank you!  Mumma wan' mo' sunnyshine!”
>They bump her up near a sign warning about the steep slope.
>”Owwies!  Why huwt mumma?”
>”Sowwy, no mean to!”
>Hugs happen.
>You continue on, thinking nothing about it.
>”Mumma wong way up, hewp!”
>”Fwuffy woll mumma 'gain!”
>Suddenly, there is a tremendous shriek.
>You turn to watch the orange dam tumble down the hill.
>Fortunately, the hillside is devoid of trees or bushes; it's just grass all the way down.
>”NO WIKE DIS GAME!” she screams, her voice changing pitch depending on where she is in her rotation.
>Her attendants panic, attracting the rest of the herd to the edge.
>”NO WIKE DIS!  NO WIKE DIS!  NO WIKE DIS!” the dam cries loudly.
>Each 'dis' is almost perfectly timed with her flailing hooves striking the grassy slope.
>She tumbles faster and faster, her words blending up into a primal squeal of terror as her speed increases.
>Finally, she reaches the bottom.
>Instead of rolling right out into the busy street, she manages to slam into a hedge.
>”OWWIES!  BIG OWWIES!  TUMMY HUWT MUMMA BIG!” you hear her scream.
>Thinking she might be in stress labor, you move to check on her.
>Behind and above you, you can hear the herd throw insults and threats down at you.
>”Munsta weave mumma 'wone!  We gif owwies to munsta!”
>They are too fearful to come down, however.
>You find the writhing orange dam stuck under the hedge.
>Now you can see she's a unicorn.
>”FWUFFY TUMMY HUWT BIG!  PWEASE HEWP MUMMA FWUFFY!”
>You manage to extract her from the hedge and set her on the grass.
>Somehow, she freaks out even harder when she sees you.
>”MUNSTA HEWE!  MUMMA IN TWOUBLE!  HEWP MUMMA WOLL 'WAY FWOM MUNSTA!”
>Since she's pregnant, you realize the massive stress might cause her to explode.
>You back away, because at this close range, even fluffy shrapnel is going to hurt.
>She does explode, but not in the way you were thinking of.
>A fountain of liquid shit sprays from beneath her tail.
>The force of it is so great, it sends her sliding past you on the grass.
>”HEWP!  MUNSTA TAKE MUMMA!”
>The shit stream increases in ferocity, and the dam is suddenly airborne.
>She flies around you in circles, showering everything around you in brown, liquified stench.
>You cannot help but watch in awe as the fecal rocket orbits around you, screaming at the top of her lungs and flailing her useless legs.
>She finally exhausts her fuel and tumbles to the ground.
>The subject of her screaming has changed.
>”WHY POOPIE PWACE HUWT?!  WHY POOPIE HUWT FWUFFY!?”
>You check yourself for shit.
>Miraculously, you are clean.  You navigate the crapocalypse to check on her.
>She is still enormous.
>Her pregnancy must have blocked off her bowels, causing her to retain all that shit.
>Somehow, only her rear fluff is stained.
>”Poopie pwace huwt big, no wike, pwease stop huwt, poopies,” she sniffles.
“Are you okay?”
>”Munsta, pwease no huwt mumma, mumma huwt big now, no make mo' huwt...”
>You feel bad for her, so you pick her up gently and walk back to the wide stone steps that lead up to the top.
>”Whewe take mumma?  Pwease no huwt, pwease gif huggies, make huwt stop...”
>You are met at the top by her herd, puffy-cheeked and angry.
>”Gif mumma back, munsta!”
“I am.”
>They have no fucking clue how to react to that, as nobody has ever acquiesced to their demands before.
>You gently set the crying dam down.
>Her attendants, also unicorns, rush over and roll her back to the herd.
>They apologize constantly to her the whole way.
>You leave the park.
>And pray that dam has her kids before her high-velocity shit kills somebody.

Author's note:  Inspired by the top picture from http://www.ponibooru.org/post/view/186234.
Fun facts: This is the same orange unicorn dam and park from 'Subtraction by Addition' (but not the same Anon).  What happened to the rest of her herd between the stories?  Ask the guy from 'Judgment'.