Undertale - Human Anatomy

“Pick me up some paracetamol, a decongestant, maybe some kinda menthol eucalyptus thing, and get the generic stuff, it’s cheaper.”

Asriel looked from the note to the box he was holding, which was covered in tiny black text. He was so hopelessly out of his depth.

Human healing magic, which they insisted be referred to as “medicine”, was a near infinitely complex, arcane art. There was a 15 letter long word for every substance, each container was plastered in warnings of various dire side effects, particular combinations were apparently deadly, and, of course, nothing actually went as far as explaining what the product was actually useful for.

To make matters worse, Frisk was sick. So sick, in fact, that they couldn’t even talk. The note, scribbled in barely legible handwriting on the back of an envelope, was the only guide Asriel had. That, and the internet.

Asriel’s phone, which he was still learning to use, and the all knowing seer that the humans called the Google, was informing him with cheerful unhelpfulness that paracetamol was also known as acetaminophen. Side effects could potentially include: hives, difficulty breathing, swelling, fever, nausea, stomach pain, jaundice.

Asriel clicked the button on the side of the phone, causing the screen to go black. He could see his own reflection in the screen now; the 14 year old boss monster there was close to tears.

He sniffed loudly, putting the phone away and trying to calm himself with a deep breath. Frisk would be fine, they’d picked this stuff without hesitation, they knew what they were doing. All he had to do was hold it together, find the right remedy, buy it, and bring it back home.

He looked back down at the container he was holding. With fresh eyes, he noticed the bold text down the bottom in the corner: “Each capsule contains: Loperamide Hydrochloride 2mg”. An ingredient list! This one was definitely not the one, but at the very least, he had ruled it out. This was good, progress was encouraging. Now all he had to do was check…

The aisle of hundreds upon hundreds of boxes stretched out before him, stacked to the ceiling. Asriel gulped, and went to put the box he was holding back where he had found it, but… Huh. Where had it come from?

Having stuffed it into the first gap he could find, Asriel padded off down the aisle. There was only one option left, the only trump card, the one thing he had been dreading since he had come into this apothecary of white cardboard and confusion.

He’d have to ask someone for help.

***

“Uh…”

The girl at the counter glanced up from her novel. There was no one there. She looked around, brow furrowed.

“D-down here…”

She leaned forward, peering over the edge of the counter. Looking up at here was some kind of animated fusion between a bunny and a goat, wearing a green and yellow sweater, eyes wide, clutching a crumpled up note in both hands. It looked like it was ready to either cry or run screaming, and she had never felt a greater urge to pick something up and cuddle it in her entire life. Holy shit, it was so cute. Her apartment didn’t allow pets and she did not give a single fuck right now because she wanted one.

She cleared her throat. “Hey little guy! How can I help you?”

“I uh, I hafta find, um…” It, or possibly, he, glanced down at the note, his lips moving as he read the word. “Pah race tah mole? It’s for my friend, they’re sick.”

“I can... Probably help with that. Do you know what they’re sick with?”

“They were sneezing, and then they sorta puffed up, and now they can’t speak at all. Are they gonna die?”

He looked so painfully concerned and sincere, it was almost heartbreaking. She put on her best, most Helpful Assistant smile.

“Of course not honey, that sounds like a regular cold, although a pretty nasty one.”

“A cold? But… It’s spring! It’s really hot out!”

She raised an eyebrow. “You can catch a cold even when it’s not cold.”

“Then why is it called a cold? If it makes you stop talking, why isn’t it called like, a silence?”

“You don’t always lose your voice when you catch a cold. It depends on what kind of cold you catch.”

“There are different kinds?!” He looked confused and upset now, he mustn't have experienced a family member having any kind of illness before. Somehow. She decided to save the basic lesson on illnesses for another time.

“Kinda. Look, you have a list, right? Can I see it? Maybe I can help you find the stuff on there.”

***

By the time Asriel left the store, he felt a little better. He had everything on Frisk’s list, plus a bunch of extra stuff the girl at the front had recommended. He was even a member of the club they were running, now! He wasn’t sure why that was important, but the girl had insisted. She had also asked if he had any older siblings. How that was relevant to Frisk’s affliction, Asriel couldn’t tell, but she had only seemed mildly disappointed when he had told her that there were none.

Talking to another human had been kinda scary, but he would do anything to make Frisk better. He was getting better at it too! In years gone by, he’d had problems with involuntary bleating and the like, but that was mostly cleared up now. Hopefully. He’d also learned that humans get sick all the time, and that it was rarely life threatening. Also good to know.

According to the girl, the next step was to get Frisk to take some of everything, and then get plenty of rest. Frisk had never been much for bedrest, they were always restless and eager to move onto the next problem, so Asriel would probably have to sit there and make sure they stayed in bed. Fortunately, not even Frisk could resist his only natural defence: no one could help themselves when it came to hugging him. He was mildly annoyed by it, sometimes, but if it was gonna help Frisk get better, then he’d gladly sacrifice a little dignity and time by playing stuffed animal for a while.

He took another deep breath as he walked home, this time it was to purge the stress instead of suppress it. It seemed like, this time at least, everything would be fine.