walking dude

>Be Chuck Walker, you work for the city
>somehow you got saddled with the job of exterminating their feral fluffies
>well, you know how you got it. you were the only one who had the stomach for it
>still, you get nightmares sometimes. usually 'Nam flashbacks but sometimes about the fluffies
>you've lost track of how many you've killed. a thousand? five thousand? maybe more.
>has to be done. they eat everything. shit everywhere.
>some of them have even taken to tripping people carrying bags to try and steal groceries
>hell of a potential lawsuit right there. and you know some scumbag lawyer would take it in a second
>a couple of times a week you get community service kids to help you
>really puts the fear of God and Jesus Christ into them
>some of them stomach it pretty good. they're the ones that scare you
>it's lunchtime. you sit back eating a huge hoagie.
>you remember how it started
>"Walker, we got a problem."
>"Shoot, Keith."
>"These fluffy things..."
>"Ponies?"
>"They're EVERYWHERE. New Jersey is one of the prime infestation locales due to the weather and availability of food..."
>"I saw the same article on Yahoo. What do you want me to do about it?"
>"Kill them all."
>"Big job. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to get them all... they breed like rats."
>"Well, just get on it."
>"Whoa whoa... I'm gonna need a few things first."
>"Go on."
>"I want to be head of Public Services. An appropriate raise. And my own truck. No one else uses it."
>"No."
>"Okay. Good luck with your infestation."
>you go about your business. you've already heard through the grapevine it ain't going so good
>a week later Keith calls you back into his office
>"That didn't take long."
>"I don't like assholes, Walker..."
>"I promise you, Keith, I am not trying to be an asshole."
>"Well..."
>"But I've seen what the job requires. And I know no one else has the stomach for it. "
>"Yeah... that's putting it lightly."
>"I heard Stokes ralphed all over the motorpool."
>"Covered a truck... had to have it steam-cleaned."
>"Right. So I need a few things but I promise you I will eradicate these things quickly and efficiently."
>"Okay. I'll write up the details. When can you start?"
>"Tomorrow morning."
>and you did. you mapped out the city. estimated how long it would take to walk the alleys and dead-ends.
>plotted a course that let you cover the city over the course of a week
>but there were so MANY of them.
>the first day alone you got fifty adults... no idea how many foals.
>your arms were exhausted from swinging the machete
>there had to be an easier way to do this
>check your watch. back to work.
>the afternoon passes uneventfully. you drive your tractor back to the landfill site
>start dumping fluffy bodies into the industrial wood chipper
>it obliterates them.
>that was the final part of the puzzle you needed. you figured out it took a fraction of the time if you only killed the adults
>the foals you bag up and shred en masse.
>you zone out for a few minutes.
>"Walker!"
>"Sir!"
>"We got a nest of gooks down that hill there. Take a couple grenades and end those motherfuckers."
>"Yes, sir."
>you silently move from tree to tree while keeping a sharp eye for trip wires.
>get within ten feet of a small camp. you see about six Viet Cong eating rice from bowls
>you don't know how they stomach that shit.
>pull the pins on the grenades and toss them
>*BOOM*
>all right... now pull the sidearm...
>shit. that was only one boom. the grenade was a dud.
>you peek from behind your tree. you got five of the six but the last is now screaming in Vietnamese
>you only know a smattering... get out... come out... bring... bring little one... bring baby.
>oh no.
>the last Viet Cong, his face and clothes splattered with his friends' blood, grabs a woman and a small child from a hut
>he's screaming into the jungle. over your shoulder you hear your squad moving up
>oh god, this is gonna be a bloodbath. the 'Cong has the woman on the ground in front of him and he's holding the little kid
>"You no come! Kill woman! Kill baby! You go away!"
>you hear the voice of your sergeant. "Blow them away. All of them."
>"No... nooooooo!"
>you step out from your hiding place. the 'Cong thinks you're the threat
>"I kill them!"
>"No! Please, let them go... I won't hurt you... just leave while you can."
>"No! This our place! We no go nowhere!"
>"Look... I'll put my gun down... just go and leave them alone..."
>you drop your sidearm. for a second there you think he might do what you say...
>*BLAM*
>you're covered in blood and gore. he just shot the woman through the back of the head and it all splattered on you
>"Oh god..."
>you collapse to your knees, vomiting.
>the 'Cong steps backwards, dragging the crying child.
>"Told you stay away!"
>"Don't... don't do it... let him go..."
>the 'Cong smirks at you and fires two shots into the kid's back.
>the kid, no older than three or so, falls to the ground, screaming and crying
>the 'Cong fires one more shot and finishes him, mercifully
>then he raises the gun at you
>"Please... please..."
>"This our place. You die, yankee."
>a shot rings out and you see a bullet hole right between the 'Cong's eyes.
>blood pours from his mouth as he looks at you and collapses
>Sergeant Matthews throws his rifle over his shoulder and picks up your handgun
>he hands it to you, then snatches it back as you reach for it
>"Can't save them all, Walker."
>"I... I know, sir..."
>"Say it."
>"We can't..."
>"YOU."
>"I can't save them all."
>"Stop fucking trying to. Fucking bitch probably would have cut your cock off if she had a chance. Start marching."
>"Yes, sir."
>"pwease nu huwt fwuffy! nu huwt babehs!"
>the hell...
>shit. you missed one. an adult with a nick in her side. you weren't paying attention.
>a few of the foals have gotten out of a trash bag and are waddling around on the ground
>the mare, bleeding slightly, pulls them close to her
>"pwease nu huwt babehs."
>you look at her sadly
>"I can't save them all."
>with one deft motion you grab the loose foals and toss them into the mulcher
>the mare's mouth hangs open, tears streaming down her face
>"babehs..."
>you grab her by the scruff and mane and toss her in as well
>"nuuuuuuuuuu! gurrrkkk..."
>grab the last trash bag and dump the contents
>the last few foals are shredded
>you hit the kill switch
>sit down on the ground and start weeping
>you just don't have the heart for this shit some days
>you wish you could save them all.