SelahNox (Steph)Today at 2:23 PM
We need to talk. Because it seems I've said something that was taken the wrong way and upset both of you. Please let me know when this can happen.
I love you both, and I want to be your friends. And I'd been thinking this entire time that I was just paranoid. I'm a little relieved and a little hurt to find out that I'm not.
ZenToday at 2:25 PM
whatever the outcome it would be good to just clear the air
SelahNox (Steph)Today at 7:19 PM
Yes, please.
When you're ready to talk, add me back. Until then, I can't sit here and stare at this.
SelahNox (Steph) left the group.Today at 7:26 PM
Zen added SelahNox (Steph) to the group.Today at 7:41 PM
SelahNox (Steph)Today at 7:42 PM
Sorry. I left because I don't want to say something I'm going to regret and I can't stand the tension. I understand that y'all might need time, but I would really appreciate it if you would just say that.
Or give me an idea of when, if that's not asking too much. If it is, I understand. I just have a hefty work schedule and the anxiety is getting me.
KyuteaToday at 7:46 PM
Hiya, love. I want to start off by saying I don't hate you. It was never like that.
The multiple times I responded to you saying exactly that, it was the truth. Because I don't hate you.
However I'd be lying if I said I did not feel a certain way when you messaged Tori with what you said simply because I wasn't responding right away or to your liking.
I really do not think that was needed and essentially you were lashing out. Especially to someone that didn't deserve that.
I would have preferred you to keep DMing me instead of involving another individual given how your insecurities were with me.
But this is something for Tori to address. And when she is available she will be able to explain her perspective on things.
I just wanted to let you know as a person and as a friend, that was not okay and that was not cool.
It is very difficult to approach you when it comes to these things as I'm always afraid it will set you off and then a breakdown pursues.
And so I've always remained neutral. I've always remained casual with you and have put aside little things that have become bigger things now.
But your insecurities are affecting and impacting others, love. You have hurt others in the process and it is concerning.
We can not fix your paranoia or your insecurities. We are not going to be able to always respond to you in the manner or way you want.
And some of your behavior can come off downright manipulative. The way your tone drastically changes when one does not respond right away, even if they have a valid reason as to why they did not respond quickly, is also not cool.
It's not humanly possible for people to be able to always bend to your every whim.
We have bad days too and sometimes that shows in the way we communicate. I tend to get more quiet, I'm more reserved on those days.
That does not mean I hate you. It means I am not doing well as a person. Which I have made you aware of when you have contacted me.
You can't take that out on people. Those type of behaviors hurt people along the way, and you are also hurting yourself in the process.
Because you want those connections. You want people in your life, you want friends, you want to love and be loved. I know you do, love.
But you really need to work on how you process things, and I know that is going to take a lot of time.
It doesn't make you a terrible person, it just means you're a work in progress, you know?
No one is telling you they hate you, but what they are telling you is things you need to work and improve on. People that care about you do that.
With that being said, I want things to remain very casual and light between us, a surface level friendship, if you will. Nothing more and nothing less.
I will continue to work along side you like I always have with Haven. I'll pop in vc like I have been. None of that is changing.
But your tone, your behavior, the way you lash out is not something I am okay with and will not tolerate. And you need to know that.
I hope you understand where I'm coming from.
SelahNox (Steph)Today at 7:50 PM
I realized that wasn't cool the second I said it. I understand where you are coming with, I just wish you had something to me sooner about your problems with me. I miss our friendship and us being close, but if it's not possible, I understand. For what it is worth, I am working on myself and trying in therapy.
I just really need to be told if what I am doing is upsetting because, and I mean this genuinely, I don't notice. I was raise by wolves. That's not an excuse, it's just a fact. I have problems with this. I know I do and I'm working on it. I can keep working with you and hanging in voice chat.
I'm trying, but I can't do anything about if I don't know that what I am doing is upsetting others.