Streaming and Current Weight/ Health Issues/ Thoughts

Streaming and Current weight

Now I know that the way you view yourself shouldn't matter.. and honestly, as a known Beast, I've never really cared how I look. Back before I graduated college, I was in great shape, weighed 240 in all muscle and worked out every day.. 6 years later, I kinda have found myself in a little bit of a slump. I eat fuckin shitty food all the time and given I had some depression issues due to some circumstances that were somewhat out of my control several years back... I sorta went off the deep end with food.
... another thing is "bored eating" which sounds like a fucking dumb excuse, but it's a thing... I work a night job which means that i literally have the option of just laying around the house ALL day if I choose to. Not bad when you wanna relax, but that's part of the problem.. I need to better utilize my time so I don't snack as often...
All of these things aside... I bring this up because I am a Twitch streamer... now, first off, it shouldn't matter how you look.. the idea of streaming is to play games or have fun online and with friends to an audience that wants to watch.. but sometimes it's not always that simple.. with a large community, brings many people, with many people brings probably not so nice ones.... which can really take a toll on ones psyche if insulted, called out, or quite literally belittled in their own chat. It's rare, but I've had this happen a few times where id have someone come in my chat and just straight up wreck my self esteem hard
.. no holding back just call me a fat fuck and that I should kill myself, or that women probably find me repulsive... (which I have an amazingly beautiful girlfriend mind you)... and I say all this and I don't really care what people say because fuck them, I've heard worse and I likw who I am, but it can really hurt sometimes if you don't have that tough of a shell.. and so before this sounds like a Cyber Bullying PSA... it's not.. I'm just trying to get the point across that it's VERY important to love yourself and who and what you are. Also, JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BETTER YOURSELF DOESN'T MEAN THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOU! So in conclusion.... here is a little Q&A...
1. Q: Do you think you're overweight? A: Yes
2. Q: Do you want to do something about it? A: Yes
3. Q: Do you let the hateful comments get to you? A: Eh
4. Q: Would you ever let something someone said sink in and make you feel bad about yourself? A: I don't really care.
5. Q: Are you gonna let somebody's back board comment change who you are and cause you to not love yourself? A: Fuck no! Anyone who is reading this and might even slightly feel the same way, just remember that who you are is amazing. Please don't let people hateful comments get to you.. easier said than done, I know, but all the self hate and confliction to caring about ones self isn't worth the pain.
With that said I really plan to change my health and the way I live.. but not for some fucking cuck who has some shitty comment about the way I look... because I know I'm a bit overweight, I don't need someone else to tell me that. I'm doing it for myself, because I want a longer life span and I want to do it for my family, my loving girlfriend and my stream, and more importantly my chat, "The Legion" ... they all know I've somewhat struggled with my weight and self reflection... so I want to prove to them and show them how much I can change and be healthier. But I also don't want to forget that even though I'm making a change, it's not because I hate myself and who I am... it's because I'm trying to love myself even more.
If you got this far, thanks for reading and I hope this may have rang a bit more clarity into your ears about who I am and how I'm feeling about my current weight and how i feel it's effecting my life. If you have any comments or you've felt this way before, or are feeling similar now, hit me up and let's talk about it. Thanks
     -Stunt