you're a eggplant.
    no, you're an a eggplant.
well, you're an cow.
    no, you're a an cow.

I. the aubergine witch

“when shall we three meet again?”

<froggycalling> when it calms down, i guess

“in thunder? lightning? or in rain?”

<anonymouse> definitely some time after sundown.
<froggycalling> when the war's over? lol
<anonymouse> yeah, /that'll/ be by about sundown

“where the place?”

<froggycalling> where *is the place
<froggycalling> or like
<froggycalling> where will the place be i guess
<anonymouse> @gaymalkitten are you ok

“I come, Graymalkin.”

<anonymouse> you don't have to like
<anonymouse> type what ur saying to ur cat to us

“fair is foul, and foul is fair.”

<froggycalling> ok ok fine we're like
<froggycalling> going to that hill outside the
<froggycalling> idk? near the power... place?
<anonymouse> electrical thing
<froggycalling> power station yeah
<anonymouse> we've got that chump
<anonymouse> y'know the dude with the accent
<anonymouse> we're gonna fuck with him a bit
<froggycalling> ew?!
<anonymouse> no like i mean
<anonymouse> fill his head with weird ideas about like
<anonymouse> power and shit?
<froggycalling> lol why
<anonymouse> uhh cuz that's kinda what we do

“hover through the fog and filthy air.”

<anonymouse> yeah, what she said
<anonymouse> we fuck with the system
<froggycalling> how is messing with some dude
<froggycalling> “fucking with the system”
<anonymouse> 1. it was gaymalk's idea and we kinda like
<anonymouse> y'know
<anonymouse> listen to eachothers ideas??
<anonymouse> thats why we're called the weird /sisters/
<anonymouse> plus hes like
<anonymouse> a local rep?
<froggycalling> o yeah... the scottish expat mp
<anonymouse> mac mcfinlay, yes
<froggycalling> who the fuck is just called mac macsomething
<anonymouse> that fucker is
<anonymouse> theres a reason in our town we say “to finlay” somth
<froggycalling> i dont live in your town sis
<froggycalling> yalls live out on the midcoast
<froggycalling> im a port gal
<anonymouse> port duncan is /in/ the midcoast u fuc
<froggycalling> ok so you and gaymer both live in stratford
<froggycalling> with your local member fuc mcfuckly
<froggycalling> im so proud of u both i really am

---

<gaymalkitten> froggy its been like 12hrs where u been
<froggycalling> bitch i made a pig die just by /looking/ at it
<anonymouse> yeah gm, where were u
<gaymalkitten> this old lady was in the park eatin macadamias
<gaymalkitten> and i was like
<gaymalkitten> can i have some? cause she had like a load
<froggycalling> wth
<gaymalkitten> “did you know my husband was in the navy?”
<gaymalkitten> im like that doesnt have anything to do with
<froggycalling> babe stop
<gaymalkitten> giving a lil girl some fuckin nuts, lady
<anonymouse> that's kinda fucked though
<froggycalling> also ur 22, that's not a “little girl”
<gaymalkitten> what
<anonymouse> you dont just bother old women for snacks
<anonymouse> how cheap are fuckin macadamias like rly
<gaymalkitten> i was in one of those moods ok
<gaymalkitten> its not like i killed her with my face
<froggycalling> with my /stare/ u cnt
<froggycalling> plus i cant do that to ppl just yet rember
<gaymalkitten> yeah yeah whatev point is
<gaymalkitten> she kept on telling me about her husband
<gaymalkitten> and i found out his like name and everything
<gaymalkitten> turns out? my mum's mum right
<froggycalling> which one
<gaymalkitten> huh?
<froggycalling> which mum
<gaymalkitten> susan. older one
<froggycalling> oh, gramma lucina? ok go on
<gaymalkitten> she knew the old lady and the dude
<gaymalkitten> she was like super young right
<gaymalkitten> like. starving basically, at the age of like 12
<gaymalkitten> they werent supper well off
<gaymalkitten> *super
<froggycalling> shit
<gaymalkitten> old lady was young then too but like
<gaymalkitten> at the time she was a grownup but like 20s
<gaymalkitten> husband in the navy
<anonymouse> oh noooo
<gaymalkitten> lucy goes to /her/ mum
<gaymalkitten> whos like dying of fuckin tb
<gaymalkitten> but still has magic spillin out of her fingertips
<gaymalkitten> transported the whole ship halfway across the world
<gaymalkitten> nobody knows where it ended up, still
<gaymalkitten> there's like conspiracies and shit about it
<gaymalkitten> but nah, it was my great gma siobhan
<anonymouse> oh shit
<anonymouse> ok ok we have to go its like
<anonymouse> 8:00
<anonymouse> we gotta go meet this fucker
<froggycalling> sshhhit im in strat but im on like the other end of town
<gaymalkitten> hurry up already
<froggycalling> im in the library ok
<gaymalkitten> what are u doing in the library tho
<froggycalling> using the net, bic
<froggycalling> talking to ur ass
<anonymouse> mac!!! is!!! coming!!! in like 5mins!
<froggycalling> ok ok fine. fair is found and foul is whatever

“a drum, a drum—”

<anonymouse> chum drum bedrum
<froggycalling> oooold song
<anonymouse> not even
<anonymouse> ok im out peace girls
*** anonymouse has left #gaymalchan

“McFinlay, come.”

the weird sisters, hand in hand,
posters of the sea and land,
thus did go about, about -
thrice to his and thrice to theirs
and thrice again, to make up nine.
but, peace! and anon shall you read
how the charm was wound up
and McFinlay confounded.