Galacta: Daughter of Galactus, jump #43

[Galacta: Daughter of Galactus]

Drawbacks: A Plague Upon Your World, Too Much Information, "Rival" Team (1400)

Son of Galactus, age [error]

The New Fab Diet: Extraterrestrial Only (Free)
Godly Abode (Free)
Holy Weapon of Some Divinity You Never Met: Stormbreaker (1300)
Worldship (1100)
Super Nullifier (800)
Galacta (400)
Mutie Food: X-23 (200)
Fantastic Foursome: Ayesha, Gwenpoole, Valeria Richards, Ardina (0)

>I had it.
>I HAD it.
>I HAD IT IN THE GRIP OF MY LIGHT, AND THE DAMNED CREATURE SLIPPED AWAY CACKLING

>"Crazy story, bro" said Gali, as we shared one of those frozen masses of alcohol that show up in space sometimes. "Maybe you should take it easy for a while? I know this interdimensional manatee the In-Betweener gave a good review on Space Yelp!"

Yasuhi had been not-so-subtly hinting that the Benefactor was trying to give me a vacation, only to have mixed up her cosmic audit forms and not only sent me backwards along the chain but stuck me with the bill for the ridiculous magic I'd be throwing around in the future.

I wasn't really listening.
I had to stay focused, prepare for the next encounter.
This was an opportunity. Play my cards right, build up enough goodwill and I could foot the bill so hard magic would start owing ME favors.

The first step was engineering a family reunion. The cosmic community was accustomed to the idea of a Sorceror Supreme travelling before his time, so old man Galan believed me when I said we all needed to hunt down a demon planet in the cosmic labyrinth that showed up one day. It was actually Lifebringer One in disguise, and by the time he realised that the Iso-8 was zapping us all with it's evolutionary goodness.

I got grounded in a black hole for a week, but it was plain to all Pops was relieved at being a lifebringer and Gali was literally over the moon from not being hungry anymore.

(Cont'd)

The second step was putting Fair Eyes' refinement of A Hood on Death over the whole planet. In no time, the steady stream of diseases zeroing in on Earth were transfigured into a team of cute superheroines.

Then my plans hit an unforeseen snag when a ragtag team of heroes fell through a plot hole. Or a dimensional anomaly. I'm not sure.

>"Where are we, and why's everything so...retro? I should've never let you drag me into this!"
>"Hey, she DRAGGED me into this!"
>"And she dragged ME into this!"
>"And SHE dragged me into this!"
>Gwenpoole: "What was I supposed to do?! One minute, I was about to be erased from existence! Then a hotter version of me showed up, everything went blurry and I started falling through time and space! I didn't mean to yank you guys out of your realities on the way down!"
>Ardina: "I didn't even have a reality to be in! Nobody told ME about the Incursions while I was job hunting!"
>X-23: "At least you remember something! One moment I was being stabbed in a lab, the next i'm a planet!"
>Caiera: "What of you, small one? I intend to use this opportunity to save my people from slavery, but how have you come to this time and place?"
>Valeria: "Uh..."

>somewhen and somewhere else
>Doctor Doom: "It has come to my attention that there is no being worthy of being your first date in this deplorable era. Rejoice, for DOOM shall provide! I have located the pseudo-spiritrual signature of a dimensional anomaly who technically still has Latverian citizenship, and therefore knows better than to flaunt my wishes. He is the supreme being of several realities and co-conqueror of this one along myself, I suppose he'll do. He is also currently in the distant past, and thus your perfect first date requires TIME TRAVEL!"

>Valeria: "OH HEY LOOK it's Galactus! We should totally team up to stop him and stuff!"

(Cont'd)

And the long story short is: I had to delegate Operation Avengers Disassemble to Elodie because I was too busy to oversee it AND secure the multiverse AND deal with meddling heroines AND still make it to Gali's cosmic cooking academy opening. Who ended up trying to REFORM and SUPPORT those ne'er do wells instead of lock them in the Phantom Zone like I suggested.

Granted, she actually thought of a Gordion knot solution to the whole The People vs Reed Richards debacle I'd been dreading: Taking aspiring reporter Michael "Miracleman" Moran under her wing, and setting him up to be a humanatarian emperor-scientist instead of the futurist god I would have him mantle. The trick, I saw while having to explain to Laura the Living Planet why being a planet was definitely cooler than being a masslet, was getting him into military service before superheroism.

The point is: By the time Richards had started making a name for himself superscience was normalised, mostly understood and best of all properly regulated. Which also meant that Gali and I could chill at the super-mall without shedding our overselves. And of course, come up with horrific revenge against the Many Angled ones! Like sticking bits of Goetia in Cthon's cultists, or rescuing the Empirikul's founder to raise hating the Many-Angled Ones even MORE, or unleashing Zom!

...I guess despite my best efforts to engage in actual work, I DID enjoy my vacation.