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Proud-Dust

Odora

Feb 19th, 2020
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  1. Odora's basically a very Burnesque built dragon with a horrendous amount of scars on her face and body, leading everyone to see her as a monster.
  2. Very heavy-set and thick of her chest and muscles.
  3. And her mother (Kubra) wanted her to be strong and fierce, so she set Odora on a rather brutal training regime that led to those scars.
  4. Because the Kingdom of Sand desert is, in her words, "without mercy or conscience."
  5. So she told Odora to jam her face through jagged cliffs and openings to try and find some food through the cracks, made her spar against her, a grown dragon, to strengthen her up, and generally put her through a terrible survive or die regime in an extreme effort to toughen her up.
  6. And that Kubra told Odora that she'd know that Odora would resent her all her life. But that she does what she does because she loves her and wants her to survive this terrible and tough world and desert.
  7. And would ruthlessly sacrifices her dragonet's happiness for that survival.
  8. So, Odora, being a naturally angry and forceful presence... got fed up with her mother and ran off.
  9. Resenting her the entire time she was running away.
  10. Eventually, she stopped to rest, her mother chasing after her in the short distance... only to be confronted by a dragonbite viper nearby and her already tired.
  11. So, tiredness and panic set in for Odora, being very scared of a predator that could easily kill her in the state she was in... before her mother cried out, rushing towards Odora as the dragonbite viper lunged towards her and took the viper's bite herself right before snapping the viper in half.
  12. Kubra died slowly in Odora's arms.
  13.  
  14. That's the terrible thing about Kubra. She was 100% sincere that she would make sure her daughter survived.
  15. No matter the cost to her own life or her daughter's happiness.
  16. And that realization is the thing that tears Odora apart every day afterwards. She thought Kubra was simply speaking hot air. Trying to justify terrible abuse with lies. Reducing her mother into a monster.
  17. And now she's dead, and Odora spends every day thinking, if she just extended more empathy, tried to understand her mother more instead of running... she wouldn't be dead.
  18.  
  19. And it gives Odora such an intense guilt complex. She blames herself for her mother's death, thinks her scars are earned and that she deserves to be seen as the monster everyone sees.
  20. Because, in her mind, she killed her mother.
  21. In her mind, if she just sucked it up more... that death could've been avoided.
  22. And it traumatized her so heavily.
  23. And it made her into someone who tries to repress so much knee-jerk hate and bile with the behavior of others, being someone who wants to see the perspective of others and try to see things from their eyes, almost obsessively doing so, and keeps a lot of her own problems bottled up inside in other not to "inconvenience anyone else."
  24. And, on the one hand, that made her fiercely empathetic and kind and overly gentle by the standards of Pyrrhia... but, on the other hand, there's so many unhealthy processes going on in Odora, where she feels responsible for everyone's happiness at the mental and emotional cost of herself and carrying intensely low self-esteem deep down, physicalized by her scars and "monstrous" appearance. She bottles and chokes down so many feelings inside herself that she risks destroying herself mentally for it. Think of her as a rice cooker that rarely gets relieved of pressure.
  25.  
  26. And there's a personal bit of hypocrisy with how everyone judges Odora's appearance.
  27. Because her appearance is the direct result of violent abuse through Pyrrhia's martial culture.
  28. But the moment those scars become "too ugly" instead of buff and cool, it gets judged.
  29. Because god forbid we actually analyze our violent and brutal tendencies as a culture and species.
  30. Everyone just denounces her as a monster and is fine with just that, rather than take a care to see of how violence bleeds and deeply traumatizes our next generation.
  31. Because that's how the story goes, right? The ugly brute is a monster, a villain, a savage killer.
  32. Even though, in my words to LV: Odora's a character who you should see and think 'a monster', but then you look at her eyes and they're the softest things you've ever seen.
  33.  
  34. And, also, side note? Odora's father, Tagua, is pretty much a torn-apart, guilt-ridden mess as well after his mate's death and Odora's trauma.
  35. Because he was a passive supporter of his mate's abuse, agreeing with Pyrrhia's violent and martial culture (not the extremes that Kubra was committing to, but he was passively on-board with it and didn't question it)... and the end result of that abuse was a dead mate and a traumatized daughter.
  36. And he's a terrible parent in a different way from Kubra. Whereas she was actively abusing and hurting her "for her own sake"... he didn't stop the abuse and even agreed with it on a tamer level. In his mind, he should've done more to stop it because, if he had, his mate would still be alive and his daughter wouldn't be scarred so deeply on a mental level. And there's a part of him that feels responsible for Odora's condition now.
  37. (Basically, Odora inherited her guilt complex from her father, her willingness to subsume her own wishes from her mother).
  38. And he feels so guilty for his part in hurting Odora that he pretty much told her she could do whatever she wanted... which was become a healer, and passively support her from a distance.
  39. Because, in his mind, he already hurt his daughter so much that he feels nothing can make up for it beyond just letting her make her own choices.
  40. If Kubra's a dark reflection of how terrible Pyrrhia's violent and martial culture can be on the children, Tagua's a critique of how passively enabling abuse, any form of it, makes one complicit to those horrors and traumas.
  41.  
  42. And Odora pretty much became a healer and a pacifist who tries to treat others with understanding and respect and being there for others at the cost of herself.
  43. And her arc is ultimately about growing towards a mental place where she can tell herself that her mother's abuse of her was wrong and that it wasn't her fault that her mother died. Trying to self-care and remember that others will be there for her to give her space to vent her emotions and relieve that stress and pain inside her.
  44. And that she doesn't have to sacrifice her emotional/mental well-being for others. That she, as a person, matters too.
  45.  
  46. There's a lot of empathy towards Odora with me. She's a good person by choice who tries way too hard to be there for others.
  47. And there's a lot said about how much consciously being a good person wears and takes a toll on such a person.
  48. (It's worth it to choose to be a good person, just to be clear! But with Odora, being a good person is also wrapped around a lot of unhealthy trauma and pain that there's something to be said about how much the trauma of her mother's death didn't really make her grow as a person. That it hurt her in a way that just happened to be helpful towards others, shredding her self-esteem in the process.)
  49.  
  50. She's the kind of person who'd help someone and simply say that anyone else would've done it, if it was brought up.
  51. Because all they have is each other.
  52. And, fun fact? Odora's actually my angry critique of the wiki's tendency to have unnaturally beautiful, once-in-a-generation OCs and have them all be generic kind and gentle and decent without depth.
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