ciggy butt brain Stanley

[12:22 AM]
Dookie2988:
	fuckin Vida
	asking if 119 is "out of the facility" over the radio
	I realize it's probably directed at me, even though she didn't preface her comms with "front desk do you copy"
	so I ask her "can you repeat that" even though I heard it perfectly the first time
	just wanted to make sure it was directed at me
	and that the room number was correct
	since 119 is IL (Judy Doe) and I don't know why she'd be asking
	and her next transmission is
	"---- out the building?"
	me: "I didn't catch that"
	"-----"
	(she thinks she's responded but unfortunately she doesn't know how to press and hold the transmit button)\
	I ignore it because I hear footsteps approaching the front desk and figure it's her (it was)
	she asks me if 119 is out of the building
	and I said "gimme a sec" (was already opening the ROB spreadsheet but, as you know, it takes fucking forever to launch)
	and while I was waiting I said "I couldn't hear what you were saying on the radio because you weren't holding the button down long enough before talking"
	and her priceless reply is
	"I don't got time for that. I'm just tryin to get done and get outta here."
	but she's on the schedule for 1st floor tonight so...?
	I mean there's someone in the pub with her, maybe she IS actually leaving early
	or maybe she means that she's trying to peace out of this conversation as soon as possible

[12:35 AM]
Dookie2988:
	regardless it was a pretty dumb thing to say

[12:58 AM]
Dookie2988:
	jesus christ lmao
	Yvonne gives me a heads up that Colleen is on her way down
	and asked that I keep an eye on her
	I said "thanks for the heads up" and immediately went to lock the front door
	this was actually less than a minute after the pharmacy guy had left
	so the door would've been open
	I thought I would've had more time but Colleen immediately appeared from the 120s hallway
	and my conversation with her culminated in her pressing against the door handles trying to leave lmao
	Kristy and some new black CNA were both trying to calm her down
	telling her that her son had her car
	and she's like
	"I don't believe either of you
	you're always telling me that he has my car
	I'm not staying here!
	"
	and they're like "ok well you can sit in this chair and the doors will open at 7:00 am, that's in about 6 hours from now"
	and she's like "I'm not gonna stay in this chair either!"
	kek
	she eventually tells them to leave her alone
	and that we're all bad at our jobs
	etc.
	they fuck off and she just fumes in silence, sitting in that chair next to the automatic doors
	and then after 5 minutes of sitting she goes back to her apartment LOL

[5:19 AM]
Dookie2988:
	wow Stanley Pawlowski is a hoot
	a real piece of work
	another toothless retard
	he comes up to the front desk
	and he's like
	"I got a big problem"
	so I'm like "ok what is it"
	"my toilet's not flushing"
	immediate internal sigh of relief
	that's fucking nothing bud
	I thought he might've flooded something
	or put a pot in the oven
	and forgot about it
	he's like
	"is Justin or anyone here?"
	he keeps asking about Justin
	he's fixated on that
	and I'm like "I'm not calling Justin about this lol"
	"well is there anyone who could fix it?"
	Earl happens to be vacuuming the front lobby as he asks
	and I'm like "sure. Hey Earl, this guy's toilet's clogged, do you have a plunger?"
	and he goes "!!! It's not clugged, it's not flushing! There's no water!"
	with this dire expression on his face
	and I match his dire expression with my own surprise and go "oh, that's not what you told me"
	"well in that case yeah, you might have to wait until 8:00 when Justin gets in"

[5:42 AM]
Dookie2988:
	he's clearly frustrated, and he says "not what I...I don't remember what I told you! But I'm feeling like I'm gonna have to go pretty badly here soon and that's gonna be a problem!"
	and for a moment I enter this deluded reality with him
	"whoa that is a problem. If you shit yourself I might be expected to help you clean it up or something. Shit yeah idk"
	I ask Earl to show him where the public bathrooms are on the 2nd floor
	and this retard's still saying stuff like "can't you see if Justin can fix it?"
	and I have to really spell it out for him like "no that is definitely not happening tonight bud"
	but I think what he was trying to convey is that he wanted a work order submitted
	which OF COURSE i was going to do
	but it's not what he was saying
	that's kind of this guy's biggest problem
	so fucking inarticulate, but impatient when you misunderstand him
	anyway
	I ask Earl to show him where the bathrooms are while I try to Google a solution eg. "why is there no water in my toilet"
	and retardboi goes "hold on one thing at a time! I'm going where? You're both saying things and I can't hear so good!"
	I reiterate that Earl's gonna show him where the bathrooms are, and also Earl offered to look at his toilet
	while I try to find a solution online
	and before he leaves he's like "ok but can you leave a note for Justin or something?"
	and that was when I realized that he, for some reason, wasn't being assured that a work order would be submitted
	but even then, that's not such a reasonable assumption
	given that Earl's about to look at it himself
	and a work order can still be submitted after all that, if a conclusion is drawn that further maintenance is required
	man fuck this guy
	the more I reason through his behavior the more I'm annoyed with him
	like I'm trying to find ways to give him the benefit of the doubt but he's still just wrong every time
	(Stanley, not Earl)
	anyway
	he finally fucks off to the elevators with Earl
	while I start to Google
	I give it like 5 minutes of reading before I'm like
	"yeah
	I'm definitely not going to bother trying any of this shit
	I don't know anything about plumbing"
	and because I'm not empathizing with retardboi's reality anymore, I can see things more clearly:
	namely that, if this guy needs to take a shit, he can still just do it in his own toilet
	there's nothing stopping him from doing that
	I don't know how I was convinced to go along with him on this adventure where that wasn't an option
	that he was at more of a risk of shitting himself because his toilet didn't have water
	like no buddy, you're just more at risk of not being able to flush after shitting in the toilet
	but I've been awake for over 24 hours so maybe that's part of it
	also, in the event that he did shit himself or on his carpet
	I'd realistically just let him stew in it and think about his decision
	because we're coming up on 6:00 am and I'm busy ! and shitstains on ur carpet is housekeeping's issue, not mine !
	so I go up to his room to tell him that I can't fix it
	and Earl's in the midst of fixing it himself, or so it seems
	there's water filling in the bowl as i come in

[10:23 AM]
Dookie2988:
	kek I didn't even finish the story
	after Earl got the toilet flushing again, Stanley insisted that it wasn't fixed and that he wanted Justin to look at it. I assured him for the millionth fucking time that I would make sure someone from maintenance checked it out
	and I revealed to him my epiphany that, gasp, you can just take a shit in your own toilet even if there's no water
	it's not an excuse to soil yourself, you fucking madman
	and his response was "ok, I've had enough talking" (and he starts gesturing for Earl and I to leave)
	I guess it was too much sense for him to handle
	he made sure to ask for my name several times, no doubt to complain in the event that someone from maintenance didn't evaluate his toilet
	"Is that Craig or Greg?"
	but the best part is that
	as Earl and I were walking down the hallway, I'm waiting for the sound of the old moron's door to close
	we make it all the way to the common area where the elevators are, and I finally hear the door close and I say "fuck that guy"
	to Earl
	and he was like "yea he's kinda rude"
	"he was askin me what ur name was, I told him I didn't know"
	LOOOL
	my boy
	"when I was walking with him to his room, he kept sayin stuff like 'I hate when people put words in my mouth!! I said the toilet wouldn't flush!"
	and then I explained to him that I thought "my toilet won't flush" meant "my toilet is clogged" because that's what it means 99% of the time here
	and when Stanley corrected me (when I asked Earl to grab a plunger) I said "uhh that's not what you told me" (when clarified that his toilet wasn't clogged; there was no water)
	I explained to Earl*
	because we're both in the elevator going downstairs at this point
	and he's like "yeah that's what I thought he meant, too
	I overheard ya'lls conversation"
	(he thought the same thing I did, that Stanley's shitter was clogged)

[10:37 AM]
Jury:
	lawdy
	what an ordeal

[10:37 AM]
Dookie2988:
	yeah kek
	man we need to start documenting these incidents
	not for Andrea or any professional reason
	but just for the nostalgia

[10:38 AM]
Jury:
	make a pastebin account and drop it in there

[10:38 AM]
Dookie2988:
	like when one of us goes on a rant in Steam, we should be copying it to a document somewhere
	yeet
	can't wait till Jonny's able to get in on the fun, too
	kek so the ACTUAL best part of all this
	was when I was pre-emptively telling Christin this morning
	that Stanley might visit her to complain about my attitude or some such bullshit
	since he asked for my name so many goddamn times
	I gave her the story, briefly
	and she was like "yeah don't worry about him he's just crazy
	he's actually just crazy and he's a crotchety old man
	he tries to have full-blown conversations with me while I'm on the phone
	and one day he REPORTED me to Mary because I was 'ignoring him' and taking a phone call
	and Mary had to correct him, saying "that's her job!"
	what a fucking cuck lmao
	toothless ciggy butt retard

[10:41 AM]
Jury:
	keeeeeeeek