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The Lone Wolf Harley Rider - Cultural Reenactment

Dec 17th, 2019 (edited)
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  1. Anonymous Wed 02 May 2012 21:11:11 No.1674297 | /mlp/
  2. =======================================================================================================================================
  3. >be a lone wolf fluffy pony abuser
  4. >ride on your trusted harley throughout the lands, helping people to get rid of their fluffy pony problems
  5. >this time, you just go visit some good friends of yours
  6. >enter indian reservation
  7. >town has seen better days since you visited a few years ago
  8. >not too many tourists coming her to gamble
  9. >meet one of your best native american pals, who invited you for a great ceremony
  10. >share a few drinks with him
  11. >speak about all things, like family, motorcycle, past activities, politics, economy, the current state of this town
  12. >friend tells you that the elders came up with an idea to attract more tourists
  13. >the plan is to enact some kind of cultural reenactment for visitors, who might then stay for a while and buy souvenirs and enter the casinos
  14. >thought about reenacting buffalo hunting, because it's spectacular
  15. >mention him that bison hunting is illegal in this state and will cause the feds to bust down their little show hard
  16. >friend tells you that they're not going to use bisons of course, but a replacement
  17. >you squint with your eyes
  18. >after a while, you ask him if he means fluffy ponies
  19. >friend affirms what you said, adding that fluffy ponies are considered vermin in this state
  20. >ask him if the elders know that fluffy ponies are somewhat like equines, as the pony designation implies, not bovines, even although unnatural manmade abominations of science
  21. >friend says that the elders are sure the tourists won't care about such a detail
  22. >you're skeptical, but are interested what they have in mind
  23.  
  24. >friend leads you to a large building next morning
  25. >there are two pasture fields alongside it, with fluffy pegasi and fluffy earth ponies all frolicking inside the heavily guarded enclosed areas, lots of people watching them to make sure they can't escape
  26. >around a thousand of the vermins, you'd guess
  27. >you and friend put on earmuffs and enter building
  28. >there are hundreds of cages with several fluffy ponies inside, squirming to get outside, begging for food, giving special hugs to each another or just fighting and complaining about the cramped conditions
  29. >only fluffy unicorns
  30. >from the looks of it, there seem to be twice as many fluffy unicorns inside as there are fluffy ponies outside in the pastures
  31. >”fwuffy wan out” “am smawty fwend” “smawty will give ouchies to meanie munstas” “pwease give nummies” “am hungwy” “no can bweath” “wan pwace to pway”, the thousands of fluffy ponies all screech in a loud cacophony
  32. >most are captured feral fluffy ponies
  33. >rest comes from adoption centers, pet shops, street vendors, and breeders that sold them cheaply
  34. >lots of women inside the building, all wearing earmuffs like you
  35. >”wet go, meanie munsta” “fwuffy am smawty fwend” “meanie musta get ouchies” “fwuffy give ouchies now”, the fluffy unicorns all defiantly babble, many of them blowing raspberries at the women handling them with quite some care
  36. >'smarty friends' are in many cases unicorns, and many of the fluffy unicorns start puffing their cheeks and trying to wriggle themselves free by shaking around a lot
  37. >the women all seem to be expert handlers and can easily keep the rebelling fluffy unicorns with a hand when taking them out
  38. >they first squeeze the fluffy unicorns over a sinkhole to make them drop their fecal matter and urine
  39.  
  40. >it's a very strong squeeze, which breaks several of their delicate organs and bones
  41. >the fluffycorns all scream and holler, sometimes wailing ”ouchies” “fwuffy no wike” “no wan ouchie huggies” “no smawty fwend no wan make poopies now” “no give huggies to munstas” when not having their lungs filled with their own blood from the powerful crushes
  42. >the fluffy unicorns all struggle as much as their tiny body can, before they are simply dunked in a lightly charged basin which quickly stuns them, if they don't drown immediately inside
  43. >no matter if dead or not, the fluffycorns are now put on a table with a saw, and their heads are cut off
  44. >the bodies are discarded in a big trash container, while the heads are dropped to a plastic box full with blood, dirty fluff and some fluffy unicorn vertabrae sticking inside
  45. >whenever the box is full, it is brought to another room, where many workers now start sawwing off the horn carefully from the sewered heads, discarding the heads again in a trash container, while dropping the horns in small boxes, which are brought outside
  46. >the fluffy ponies from before are hugging each another and ask where their unicorn friends are, if they aren't just grazing lightly or starting to empty their bowel contents
  47. >a few start copulating
  48. >quite a few are barking whimsically at the workers, puffing their cheeks and squealing“dad ow gwassies now” “go 'way o fwuffies give ouchies”
  49. >a few of them are most likely also 'smarty friends' of their respective herds
  50. >some of the fluffy ponies are having an argument about how is the new 'smarty friend'
  51.  
  52. >whenever a discussion seems to turn into a fight where the wannabe-'smarties' start nibbling at each another's ears or bucking the other's faces, the workers come inbetween them and start hitting them from each another with a broomstick, which causes them to stop and to bawl at the pain
  53. >”nuuu! no sowwy-stick pwease” some of the fluffy ponies whimper and then start waddling away with their legs as fast as they can
  54. >as soon as a box with severed horns arrive, the male workers that aren't overseeing the pasture each go grab a fluffy pony, who always try to run away
  55. >the workers only have to walk normally to quickly catch up with the pathetically slow abominations of science
  56. >”nuu! wet fwuffy awone” “meanie munsta” “pwease no make ouchies” “fwuffy behave no make bad poopies” “pwease no use sowwy-stick” “fwuffy no wan go in sowwy-bocks”, the fluffy ponies all beg
  57. >the workers take two fluffycorn horns and glue them roughly on the fluffy ponies' temple
  58. >the fluffy ponies now look like they have two useless little nubs coming out from the sides of their heads
  59. >the fluffy ponies with two fluffycorn horns are then dropped to another big enclosed pasture
  60. >the fluffy ponies stand up again and all see that the others now have two horns, proudly commenting “wook wook. fwend am pointy pone now”
  61. >many touch their 'sidehorns' and shriek at feeling something that shouldn't be there
  62. >the glue is strong and makes it that the horns won't fall off
  63.  
  64. >the ridiculously-looking fluffy ponies all now proudly trab around, all wanting to show off their own two horns, as if they always had them
  65. >they do not wonder where the horns come from
  66. >the horns are also of different colors and sizes, giving the two-horned fluffy ponies quite a clownish look
  67. >after a while, the job is finally done before high noon starts
  68. >tourists start coming in to see the spetacle
  69. >the confused fluffy ponies are given a good squeeze to make them empty their bowels and bladder, and then herded towards the starting area
  70. >”wan nummies” “why meanie munstas make ouchies?” “no wan wawk” “no give huggies to munstas” “wan huggies” “fwuffy need make poopies” “whew fwuffies going?”, the fluffy ponies all squeak across each another
  71. >a bunch of native american youths stand behind them, dressed in stereotypical wannabe moccasins, eagle feathers, buckskin jackets and other stuff
  72. >most of these accessories and clothings have of course been made in factories
  73.  
  74. >the youths all have authentic-looking hunting spears
  75. >the elders start telling about history, how bisons were hunted before the native americans got horses, and that the show now begins
  76. >the youths all make outlandish fake dancing and warcries to amuse the tourists, and then start flinging their spears towards the fluffy ponies inside their tiny enclosed pen barely enough to fit them all in
  77. >the spears hit a few of the fluffy ponies fatally or pierce through their fluff to make them feel the pain and start a panic
  78. >”Nuuuu!” “Fwuffy Wan Out” “Ouchies Ouchies Ouchies” “Why No Can Wun?”, the fluffy ponies all shriek and start waddling with their legs, trying to run away and pushing each another
  79. >the gate of the pen is opened, and the fluffy ponies start their pathetic stampede
  80. >many fall over their own legs and get trampled by those behind
  81. >many others fall over the trampled bodies in front of them
  82. >most of the herd stops moving, and the fluffy ponies all whimper and whine about their pain
  83. >immediately, the fluffy ponies all try to hug each another to make the pain go away
  84. >the youths approach the confused herd and start poking them to make them continue running again
  85. >a few other of the youths go ahead and slow the fluffy ponies down that are still running, or gather them back to the herd if they try to flee
  86. >it's very easy for the youths to always make sure that no fluffy pony escapes
  87. >the abandoned fluffy ponies are picked up by a few other youths with their spears and put into a trash bag
  88. >the ones that weren't dead are mewling in pain when stabbed
  89. >meanwhile, the tourists watch attentively what is happening to the great herd of fluffy ponies with the two horns attached to their sides
  90.  
  91. >the youths spur the herd on to greater speed, always poking the stragglers in their butts
  92. >the fluffy pony herd tries to complain, but many who try to say something bite their own tongues, stopping, only to be run over again by other fluffy ponies in the panic
  93. >the youths just stab them on to stand up and continue running towards the goal, while the rearguard picks up dead fluffy ponies or those that can't continue running anymore
  94. >the youths always dance and jump around to entertain the tourists and frighten the little fluffy ponies
  95. >the fluffy ponies are forced to resume their stampede towards the goal, which only lies a few meters before them
  96. >it's a 10 feet deep pit
  97. >the fluffy ponies are all running into the pit, where they all fall screaming and feeping to their doom
  98. >the pit is soon filled with the broken bodies of the fluffy ponies
  99. >a few however survive by dropping on the soft fluffed bodies of the ones below them
  100. >the dead and not so dead fluffy pony bodies that were picked up by the youths behind are dropped inside the pit
  101. >”wan out” “weggies make ouchies” “pwease hewp”, the survivors sob
  102. >now the organisators of these show ask the tourists if they want to adopt one of the tiny 'buffawos'
  103. >the tourists find this quite drol, and buy the survivors, who are shivering and squeaking
  104. >after this attraction, many are invited to the hotels and casinos
  105. >the plan of the elders did work
  106. >money flows back into their town
  107. >everything ends well for everyone
  108. >as well as for the adopted 'buffawos'
  109.  
  110. >the ones that didn't got buried alive with the body of all the other dead fluffy ponies, after the workers filled the pit up again
  111. >you are riding towards the sunset, looking extremely cool with your shades and the toothpick in your mouth
  112. >you also bought one of the 'wuffawos'
  113. >a tiny skyblue crying pegafluffy with a pink horn and a green horn at its sides
  114. >the pegafluffy-fake-bison is chained between your bike's handles, squirming and trying to scream something
  115. >its tiny head with the two stubby horns is at the front, the draft causing its eyes to water
  116. >of course, you've also tapped its butt and peeing regions so that it won't smear anything nasty on your harley
  117. >the 'buffawo” will be your lucky charm at the harley davidson exhibition
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