YuYuYui - Ishitsumugi no shou 63

Tale retelling, the Miroku family's Momotaro - 1

[Hero Club room]

Gin/Son: Washio-san, Washio-san, one botamochi, if you please~♪

Sum: I will give it to you, if you accompany me in defeating the onis, I will♪

Gin/Sum/Son: Ahahahahaha!

Yos: Momotaro, isn't it? Seeing the three elementary schooler Heroes so happy is cleansing my heart.

Ren: Hmph... Momotaro... how nostalgic. I am reminded of olden days.

Uta: If you remember, that means. Renge-san, have you played the peach-taro before?

Ren: What are you saying? This is the story of an ancestor of Miroku. Isn't it common knowledge?

Sek/Its/Kar: ......Ha?

Shi: Miroku... What does she mean?

Yum: Eh!?

Mit: Judging from Renge-san's words alone, I can take it that Momotaro was an ancestor of the Miroku family, but...

Gin: S-Seriously!? AAA-Awesome!

Ren: Hmph. Indeed. Such is a truth of one of the truest. Isn't it? Yumiko.

Yum: Eh!? Ah... O-Of course! It is a famous story, everyone!

Suz: Reallyyy~~? I never heard about it~~, this story~~.

Son: It's my first time hearing it too~.

Ren: But of course. It is a most confidential legendary tale only told within the Miroku family.

Sum: A legend and a tale... aren't they synonymous?

Ren: Since the opportunity lends itself, you will be told about the true legend of the Miroku family's Momotaro! By Yumiko.

Yum: Eeh!? M-Me!?

Suz: Waah~~, amazi~~ng. I can't wait~~, clap clap clap~~.

Yum: N-No, but uum... It is, well~~, this tale is absolutely confidential~~...

Ren: Hmph, pay it no mind. Recount it to its fullest. With blazing emotion and spirit.

Yum: Y-Yes! Eh~, ah~, uh~, I-It was, uuh... O-Once upon a time, looooong ago~~.

[Long ago]

Yum: On a day where an old man went to the sea fishing, and an old woman went to the mountains hunting.

Old man(Natsume): What a huge catch today... I'm sure you'll be happy...

Old woman(Fuu): My, dear. That is a wonderful skipjack tuna you fished.

Old man: And the pig you killed is huge... They both look appetizing...

Old woman: Drool... Let's cut them right away so we can eat. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Old woman/Old man: Eh...!?

Baby: Ongyah~~, ongyaah~~!

Yum: Inside the gigantic tuna the old woman was preparing to cook was, would you believe it, a human baby!

Old man: This must be a gift from the heavens... Let's raise this child as our own...

Old woman: You must be right. Since it's such a cute girl, her name will be... Momotaro.(*1)

Suz: There are no peaches anywhere!

Kir: Since the baby came from outta skipjack tuna, shouldn't ya call it katsuotaro!?

Its: But a girl being called taro...

Sek: And what kind of old woman goes hunting!?

Mit: Awawawa... The tsukkomis have taken over the story.

Gin: All at once, like a burst of flames...

Shi: It was unavoidable...

Yum: And as time passes, as if completely natural, Momotaro grew up into a fine swordswoman.

Old man: Whoever... rids the streets of the onis causing havoc will be awarded an immense sum of money...

Old woman: With the prize money and the onis' treasure, I'm sure we could live peacefully inside a high-rise building~ ...Glance.

Momotaro: Father. Mother. Let me handle this! I will defeat the onis, and I promise you a peaceful retirement!

Old man/Old woman: We're counting on you~, Momotaro~♪

Yum: And thus, Momotaro with a few kibi dangos, left in her quest to defeat the onis with her goal to make money quickly.

Suz: Suddenly, the old man and woman are just your regular snobs!

Note 1: Momotaro's name comes from momo(peach) and tarou(common male name)


Tale retelling, the Miroku family's Momotaro - 2

[Mountain path]

Momotaro: While I left in high spirits, the road to the oni island is lonely.

Dog(Gin): Miiroku-san, Miroku-san, can I have one of the kibi dangos you're carrying~♪

Momotaro: Ha! You, who knows my true name... Who are you!?

Dog: I'm Pero. Woof♪

Yum: Having perceived the dog's wisdom at first glance, Momotaro, whose name was Miroku, offered it a kibi dango, and they departed to defeat the onis.

Nat: Pe-Pero...! You were Momotaro's companion... I didn't know you were such a great dog...

Gin: Hyahyahyahya! Natsume-san, my stomach, stop rubb-... Ahyahya!

Suz: By the way, what was that about her true name!? This story is already falling apart! Is it tuna, peach, Miroku!?

Yum: Her true name was the one that was given to her by a god before her birth. The name Miroku is beyond human understanding.

Yum: In any case...

Yum: As Momotaro and Pero were walking, they came across a monkey on their way.

Monkey(Tamako): Hey, you dog! Why're you following this weird human around?

Pero: She gave me a kibi dango, so we're going to exterminate the onis♪

Monkey: Haaa!? Are you stupid!? You're going to kill onis for a snack!?

Monkey: This salary is unacceptable! She's gotta be tricking you!

Yum: Upon hearing it, Miroku thought to herself what a clever monkey it was, and of her merciful heart said

Momotaro: Would you like one as well?

Monkey: Wha-!? Are you kidding me!? Do you think you can become the friend of a gourmet like myself with one piece of dango!?

Monkey: You can't tame wild animals like that, stupid human!

Momotaro: Now, now, don't be so upset. I will brew some tea, so let us have a tea party.

Monkey: Hmph! Don't think you can... Munch. ...Mmh? It's so goooood~~♪

Momotaro: Yes, yes. It is indeed. Would you like to join us in our quest to exterminate the onis?

Monkey: Munch munch! Apeviously! I will join you!

Yum: The kibi dangos being perfectly normal, while much clever, the monkey seemed to be a bottomless fool.

Kir: Which one is it!? If it's a clever fool, then it's just an idiot!

Monkey: I'm a Golden-headed lion tamarin from the Cercopithecidae family!

Pero: Ooh! Nice to meet you! G-...Gold? Gold...Ta...(*1)

Tama: Heeeeeey! Don't cut it in the middle! Tama is fine, you can call me Tama!

Yum: Thus, with a second companion, Momotaro's party set en route for the beach in direction of the oni island.

Pero: It's already night~.

Tama: Let's stop here for the day~.

Momotaro: You're right. But before going to sleep, we will need to secure ourselves dinner, won't we?

Pero: Ah, I can catch birds around here!

Tama: Ooh! Nice. Let's get some chicken tonight♪

Pheasant(Sumi): Coooooooo!!

Pero/Tama: Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

Momotaro: A bird! It shall be tonight's accompaniment! Pero, Tama, catch it, quickly!

Pheasant: Coooooooo!!

Tama: Damn you! I'll make you shut up!

Pero: Please, wait! It looks like... this bird can't fly.

Momotaro/Tama: Eh?

Pheasant: Gnnnn... How could I fail to predict the time it will turn dark...

Yum: It seemed this bird got injured while trying to regain its nest at dusk, a truly pitiful individual with only one wing remaining.

Uta: That's right! It's not that it can't fly, but it got bird eye. Also called night-blindness.(*2)

Pheasant: Urk... Kill!

Note 1: Tama means ball, and golden ball in Japanese is a way to say testicles.

Note 2: In Japanese, night-blindness in kanji is written as "bird eye".


Tale retelling, the Miroku family's Momotaro - 3

[Mountain path]

Momotaro: A bird's eye being affected with night-blindness is among the laws of nature. However pitiful, it is to become tonight's dinner.

Momotaro: That being said... To kill one who is unable to defend themselves goes against the Miroku belief.

Momotaro: Go ahead. Have this kibi dango.

Pheasant: I don't want your charity!

Momotaro: It is no charity! Eat it to regain your strength, that way I will fight you, and...

Momotaro: You shall become our dinner, fair and square!

Pheasant: Wha-...!? Fufu... Fufufufu. Coooooocoocoocoocoocoocoo!

Pero/Tama: W-What!?

Pheasant: Such pure honesty. What is your name...?

Momotaro: Momotaro. Or Mirokutaro.

Pheasant: Miroku... taro.

Kar: She can just add taro at the end of her true name like that!?

Momotaro: We are on our way to the oni island, in a quest to kill the onis for threatening the peace of this country.

Pero: And we're accompanying her♪

Tama: She's offering you one, so take it. These kibi dangos are so good! Don't think too hard about it, take it!

Pheasant: Wha-... Wh-What did... you say...?

Pero/Tama: That it's super good?

Pheasant: You're going to kill the onis to protect our country!?

Momotaro: It is indeed what I said!

Suz: It's a lie, she didn't!

Shi: Right... Close, but not quite.

Pheasant: I never would have imagined I would find such patriots in this place! Allow me to accompany you!

Momotaro: Hohohoho. Of course, gladly. Now, accept this kibi dango...

Pheasant: Ah, but I don't want your charity!

Tama: You're a pain, you know that.

Pheasant: Excuse me for the late introduction, my body may be that of a pheasant, my tail is like a bird of prey's. Also known as Washio.(*1)

Pero: So you're Washio-san. Nice to meet you.

Tama: If you don't want it, I'm gonna eat your kibi dango♪

Pero: Ah, not fair! Give me some!

Yum: After this tangent, the kibi dango the pheasant refused was eaten by Tama and Pero.

Yum: With a third companion, their journey lasted several more nights of sleeping outside, until...

[Beach]

Momotaro: At last, once we traverse this sea, we will reach the oni island. Are you ready?

Pero: Yes! But, uuh~... What are the onis like?

Washio: Rumors among the sparrows speak of them as combative, frightful individuals.

Tama: Sparrows~? I don't believe it. These guys lie all the time.

Suz: Heeeeeey! Don't just slip in misinformation!

Tama: I've heard the onis were incredibly buff guys.

Aka: Eh, really!? With 6 packs? Or 8 packs?

Kir: Heeeeey! These people can't stop themselves from interruptin' the story!

Washio: To take down an oni settlement on their island is near-impossible. Momotaro-sama, do you have some kind of plan?

Momotaro: We will begin with a tea party.

Washio: I see. While they have their guard down, you'll put anesthetic in the tea!

Pero: And we can do whatever we want when they're immobilized!

Tama: Give them a smack in the back! A swift one! Then you beat them up bad♪

Its: Woah~... So cowardly.

Sek: Old stories are really scary, but this one is particularly dark~.

Momotaro: Jokes asides. My true strategy will be to sneakily approach the onis' hideout...

Washio: In the meantime, the 3 of us will form a huge shadow like a youkai to scare the onis!

Suz: Isn't that the Town musicians of something-men!? It's turning into another country's folk take!!

Note 1: Washio is written with 鷲(eagle) and 尾(tail)


Tale retelling, the Miroku family's Momotaro - 4

[Riverbed]

Yum: Momotaro's party's ship having landed on the oni island, they came across drinking onis.

Red oni 1(Akamine): Waa ha ha! Take a look at my shining muscles!

Green oni(Utano): Woooh! Isn't that another oni's face on your back!?

Blue oni(Wakaba): Nevermind that, look at my arms! These muscles will be popular with the ladies!

Tama: W-What is that...? They're actually all muscular...

Pero: They're making muscles poses while drunk.

Washio: W-What is happening...? I can't see.

Pero/Tama: Night-blindness activated!?

Red oni 2(Karin): Aah~? Who's making noise over there~?

Blue oni: You must have some nerve to join us in our banquet. Smashing you will go so well with the drinks!

Pero/Tama/Washio: It's bad...!

Green oni: You'll become rust on my golden stick! Uraaaaaaaaaaaah!!

Red oni 2: I'll show you the power of the perfect oni! Nwoooooooooooh!!

Momotaro: We have no other choice! All of you, don't drop your guard!

Pero/Tama/Washio: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

Yum: In a battle that lasted until morning, Momotaro's party defeated and captured all the onis.

Momotaro: We have captured the oniiiiiis!

Green oni/Red oni 1/Red oni 2: Uu-...uh... W-We've lost...

Washio: Death to the brutes, and hooray for our country! Give up and withdraw from your country!

Red oni 2: No, but... this is the oni island, this is our country.

Tama: Give it up already and show us the treasure! Give us the huge treasure you've amassed!

Red oni 1: The treasure... Is it our bodies!? Nooooooooo!

Tama: Uweeeh!? As if!

Pero: When we say treasure, we mean those golden, silver and pearl necklaces!

Blue oni: Damn you... We have no such treasure! If you need to, just kill us!

Momotaro: It would leave this matter unsettled. I shall bring you onis back and train you as sla-... as servants.

Washio: Eh, what do you mean!? To raise a savage tribe is way too dangerous!

Tama: To capture onis and work them to death, your thinking is disgusting, Momotaro.

Momotaro: Quiet! Hm? What is this noise...?

Pero: Waaaaaaah! B-Behind you, behind you!!

Last boss(Hinata): Was it you...? Was it you who talked about taking my blue oni-chan away from me~?

Blue oni: Boss! The scariest oni amongst all of us onis, oni Hinata-sama!

Pero/Tama/Washio: Eeeeeeeeeeeek!?

Momotaro: Don't be afraid! A life of unimaginable wealth is awaiting us if we can defeat this oni! Taaaaaaah!!

Last boss: Die♪

Yum: Alas... Momotaro's party was decimated. And no records of this legend remained.

Suz: So how was it passed down within the Miroku family!?

Ren: It was such a wonderful story. As expected of Miroku's descendant, Yumiko. Hmph, it was highly entertaining.

Ren: That gives me an idea. Shall we have our family dangos as accompaniment for tea?

Yum: Yes, ancestor-sama. The Miroku kibi dangos are a truly perfect fit as the Hero Club's tea snacks!

Anz: Uum... Just to be sure, Momotaro wasn't actually an ancestor of the Miroku family, right?

Ren: Hmph, most naturally not. It was nothing but amusement meant to rid you of boredom.

Its: A-Also... Being able to accommodate to such an unreasonable request... Miroku-san is actually very smart.

Son: Yes~! I respect Miroku-senpai for making this story just to entertain us~♪

Sek: Right. Her creativity is impressive, her power is nothing shy of the Sonokos'...

SHI: U-Uuh... A-All that is good, but...

Kar: Huh? Why did SHIZUKU come out? ......Wait, hyaaaaaaaaaaah!?

Hin: Am I an oni...? I see...

Ren: .........Hmph.

Yum: Eek...!?

Yum: How could I made such a casting mistake! Higyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!