Hello there, my name is Jahvon Downer. I'm a popular movie actor with a lot of very prominent films under my belt. Some of you at home may recognize me as the guy who played Ice Cube in 2005's “Are We There Yet”, or 1994's “The Shawshank Redemption.” I'm also an accomplished screenwriter, and my brain was the creative force behind the “Star Wars” trilogy. George Lucas? He took all the credit. Fucker didn't do nothin' except come up with those annoying Ewoks. But I digress.
	In my spare time, I enjoy playing Rock Band with other famous actors. I've met a slew of people, some good at the game – born naturals. Other guys, not so good. Did I ever tell you the story of when Matthew Broderick came to visit? We popped in Guitar Hero 2 and one of the loading screens displayed “Dropping your pants on stage will NOT deploy Star Power!” Well, he decided to test this mid-song. Poor bastard wasn't wearing underwear. I'll say this much, he's got a tiny penis. The game was kind of awkward after that.
	I've got an older brother, but he's a loser; he hangs out on this IRC thing all day and talks to people like “RonJon” and “Gary” who make immature jokes about “peens” and “wands”. I have better uses for my time. One summer, I came up with a cure for cancer, but I was paid a large sum of money by Billy Mays so he could market it and make money off the infomericals. That didn't work out so well for him, sadly. I'll say this, you guys are real suckers for believing what they found in his system when he died was “cocaine”.
	Anyways, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it! Looking forward to a great school year with you guys,.