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    Caves of Qud newbie guide version 0.0.1 by Anonymous
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Character Creation
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    Character Creation:
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    1)New players should play mutated humans. The lower stats and starting gear don't matter as much as you think. Mutations make a nice crutch.
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    2)Don't waste mutation points on morphotypes, and stick with physical mutations for now. That way willpower and to a lesser extent ego can be dump stats.
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You can decide between being a mutated human or a True Man. Mutated humans have paltry starting equipment and have lower starting stats than True Men, but are able to acquire mutations that affect gameplay. True Men gain extra skill points, start with slightly better equipment on average, get some free resistances based on class, and have access to cybernetics, which I have yet to encounter in any run.
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    3.1)Favor these mutations (roughly in order): multi legged > two-hearted > regeneration = double muscled = triple-jointed > Freezing hands > Flaming hands.
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It's generally better to be a mutated human unless you want to rely mostly on ranged combat or tinkering, in which True Men have better benefits.
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    3.2)Electrical Generation probably goes here, but I haven't played with it enough. The last two reverse when you can get to Golgatha consistently.
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    4)Avoid Burrowing Claws and Multiple Arms. They aren't terrible, but they are most likely over priced.
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If you intend to engage in melee combat, you will need a significant amount of Strength. Strength lets you penetrate armor more easily, which acts as a multiplier for your damage. 29 Strength is a requirement for some weapon skills, and the best weapons can utilize up to 34 Strength for penetration.
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    5.1)Backgrounds for physical mutated humans: Arconaut, Marauder, Nomad, Warden, Watervine Farmer. These are all fairly equal.
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Agility is most important for ranged characters, but used for some defensive skills too. Similarly, you can get the best skills at 29 Agility. 
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    5.2)Marauder and Watervine start with axes, which are arguably the strongest weapons in the game.
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Every 2 points of toughness gives you an extra HP per level.
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    5.3)Arconaut gets amazing skills, and agility is the only stat with both defensive and offensive uses.
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You don't need much more than 16 Intelligence unless you primarily use guns, which have several expensive skills, or use tinkering.
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    5.4)Warden starts with good skills, but only a buckler and real shields are annoyingly rare.
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Willpower is mostly a dump stat unless you utilize several mental mutations.
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    5.5)Nomad starts with the amazing Recycling Suit, and good skills for survival/exploration; need to invest in a weapons skill ASAP.
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Ego can be a dump stat unless you utilize mental mutations, but also affects store prices dramatically.
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    6.3)I exclude Gunslinger because starting with guns as a mutant is not a very good idea.
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Ignore morphotypes unless you want to mainly use mental mutations, in which case you want to pick up Esper.
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    Things to do in Joppa:
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Good physical mutations, roughly in order of usefulness: Freezing Hands, Flaming Hands, Multiple Legs, Carapace, Regeneration, +2 stat mutations, Horns 
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    1)Get the quest from Mehmet to go to Red Rocks.
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Nearly all of the mental mutations are good, but some useful starting mutations are Cryokinesis, Sunder Mind, Pyrokinesis, and Force Bubble.
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    2)Find the three houses with chests in them. Go in each one, closing the door behind you. Loot the chest with the door closed.
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Night Vision lets you dual wield before you find a hands-free light source.
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    3)Optional: Kill the zealot of the six day stilt. Nobody will care, and his book is worth a lot of dosh.
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Get Telepathy if you keep getting Glotrot.
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    4)Go to the southwest corner and get the quest from Argyve. If you got two artifacts in step (2), then you can turn them in now for a quick level two.
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    5)Sell any junk you collected to Argyve and Mehmet for their vinewafer.
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Good backgrounds for physical mutants: Marauder/Warden, Nomad (invest in a weapons skill ASAP), Arconaut.
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    6)Press <, go up twice, and press >. You should be at Red Rocks. Find the entrance and explore the first three floors. Beware plant life; it's generally more deadly than anything else.
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Backgrounds for mental mutants: Apostle.
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    7)The fourth floor should be your first real threat. Remember to collect the corpse of one of the glowthingers to bring back to town.
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    8)After the fourth floor is cleared, you can follow the underground river south to its source; you have a good chance to get up to folded carbine and maybe a floating glowsphere. A miner's cap and anti gravity sphere are virtually guaranteed. From the source, go up until you're back in Joppa.
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Good backgrounds for physical True Men: Praetorian, Child of the Hearth, Syzygyrior, Child of the Wheel.
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    9)Or you can be a pussy and just go back overland.
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Good backgrounds for ranged True Men: Praetorian, Eunuch, Artifex.
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    10)Go do the quest for 200' of wire in the Rust Wells. There's three dungeons here, so you can grind quite a bit. Just be careful if the last floor is a vast underground cavern, don't explore to far or you'll be killed.
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    11)Don't go straight to Grit Gate. It's worth it to explore the Rusted Gate on your way. The loot on its last floor can be quite amazing.
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Stat allocation: for newbies playing physical attackers, put int at 16 to 18, ego at 14, and the rest into physical stats. By the time you come back from red rocks to sell your loot, you should hopefully be over level 6 (which gives +1 to all stats) and have a knollworm skull to wear (+1 ego) so that you get fair prices at the shop.
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Starting the Game
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Shops restock on a timer, by the way. There will be a message upon reentering a town if any shop owners refreshed their stocks.
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1) Get the quest from Mehmet to go to Red Rocks.
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All weapons are good in certain situations.
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2) Find the three houses with chests in them. Go in each one, closing the door behind you. Loot the chest with the door closed.
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Cudgels: best penetration, worst damage dice. They tend to get 2x, 3x, or 4x criticals thanks to their penetration, and do steady damage against opponents with extremely tough armor.
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3) Optional: Kill the zealot of the six day stilt. Nobody will care, and his book is worth a lot of dosh.
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Axes: second best penetration with the cleave skill, and much better dice than cudgels.
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4) Go to the southwest corner and get the quest from Argyve. If you got two artifacts in step (2), then you can turn them in now for a quick level two.
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Long Blades: High +hit from the skill tree, but mediocre penetration. You really have to pump a lot of xp into the tree to get the most out of it, unlike axes or cudgels.
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5) Sell any junk you collected to Argyve and Mehmet for their vinewafers.
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Short Blades: Get multiple attacks per round and synergies with two other trees. Easily the best offhand weapon (which is why Child of the Wheel is an amazing background for True Men).
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6) Press <, go up twice, and press >. You should be at Red Rock. Find the entrance and explore the first three floors. Beware plant life; it's generally more deadly than anything else early on.
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Ranged: I think this really depends on the first good energy weapon you find. I prefer backgrounds that don't start with ranged skills, so I can choose later based on what I find.
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7) The fourth floor should be your first real threat. Remember to collect the corpse of one of the girshlings to bring back to town.
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8) After the fourth floor is cleared, you can follow the underground river south to its source; you have a good chance to get up to folded carbine and maybe a floating glowsphere. A miner's cap and anti gravity sphere are virtually guaranteed. From the source, go up until you're back in Joppa, or just leave the way you came.
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I have never bothered with the wayfarer skills, but I consider starting with Mind's Compass to be quite useful.
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9) Go do the quest for 200' of wire in the Rust Wells. There's three dungeons here, so you can grind quite a bit. If you're a pussy, 50' strands of wire are guaranteed at the entrance to each rustwell, as well as every floor.
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10) Explore the Rusted Gate on your way to Grit Gate, there's a chance for good loot.
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    Caves of Qud Tinkerer build
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    You want to play a Tinkerer?  Terrible idea!  Tinkerers have shit survivability when the game starts and most will die before reaching Red Rocks unless you've spent entirely too much time grinding in swamps or the RNG has blessed you considerably.  BUT! For those of you who know the best part of playing in a post apocalyptic wasteland is TECHNOLOGY then maybe if you put in the effort and follow my lead, you might make it more than a week before you fast travel yourself to death because you forgot to get food.
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Weapons
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    Step 1.  Choose stats!
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There are no penalties for dual-wielding. Instead, you only have a chance of attacking with your off-hand weapon. This increases with the Dual Wield skills.
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    Your dump stat here is going to be Will.  It'll be awful later on when your mind is being sundered (x4) for half your health, but you need enough points for a minimum of +2 strength.  Only get Int up to 21.  You'll get more later. Dump the rest in agility.  If you're feeling especially adventurous, you can take a neg 1 in Ego... or even boost it up to zero... if you've made the proper offerings to the RNG.
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Offhand strikes, regardless of weapon type, can activate learned skills. 
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    Step 2. Choose Tinkerer!
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Cudgels: Best base penetration, but initially, has the worst dice. With Bonecrusher and Flurry, Cudgels are the strongest weapon type for a melee-focused character.
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    You'll get +3 Int, and the worst starting loadout in the game.  Basically, a bunch of randomly determined equipment... really random.  And a stun rod. It may be charged, it may not be.  It's crap anyway. It never stuns... at least not enough to be meaningful.  
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Axes: Better dice than cudgels until they get Bonecrusher. Cleave stacks and lowers the armor of opponents, and you can hack off limbs. Good damage and utility makes them well-rounded, and a great weapon type for characters who don't have as much strength.
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Long Blades: Worst penetration, best dice early on. Only weapon type that gains accuracy as you get skills. Has area swipes and reactionary attacks.
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    Here's where things get dicey.  I've spawned before with a pair of helping hands.  I've spawned before with little but my wits and a few batteries.  What you do have however is a few trinkets, crafting bits, and telescopic monocle.  Your first order of business is to go through your inventory either way and asses your situation.  If you've got crayons and bent folding chairs, skip to step 4.  Otherwise, learn your two recipes and continue on.
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Shortblades: Best used as an offhand weapon, has synergies with dual-wielding and evasive skills. 
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    Step 3. Collect dosh!
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Bows and Rifles: High penetration and single-shot damage. Skills let you sacrifice a turn for extra effects on hit, including damage. You can mark targets for extra accuracy and free reaction shots.
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    Go talk to that red f and get your first quest, then go raid the unoccupied rooms.  CLOSE THE DOOR before you open chests that aren't yours.  Then go to the trader in that bottom right building.  You need to get yourself situated.  If you don't have a bent folding chair and you see one, it'll be like 4 cents, get it.  Don't disassemble it. Purchase the musket and slugs.  If there's a desert rifle you can afford, get that instead.  Equip that immediately.  If you can afford it, pick up a good axe.  Don't worry if you can't.  
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Pistols: With Akimbo, puts out a lot of damage with minimal skill investment. Skills let you fire more quickly, as well as let you fire while moving.
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Heavy weapons: They're pretty rare, I haven't found any yet.
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    Step 4. Collect XP!  Go see Argyle on the right side of town.  Talk to him.  Give him the cheapest trinkets you have.  If your trinkets are all actually useful, you might have to make a painful decision.  The stun rod and cell might be your best bet, but you'll probably be able to swing giving him your monocle and something else random.  The best solution here is crayons and metal folding chairs, but that's not always an option.  Collect your level and the next quest.  Take a look at his inventory, see if there's anything you want.  If you're fast enough, you might actually swing one of those cheaper blueprints.  Crafting Nightvision or a laser weapon early on in the game can be a huge boon, but you got to earn it.  Disassemble other bits of scrap.
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    Step 5. Level! But don't spend any points yet. You got to wait to see how this plays out.  Head out into the swamp, murder some plant life, collect fish.  They make good provisions.  You don't have to do this for a whole level, but if you've the patience, it's not a bad idea. If you do level, that should put you around 250.  Save that. We'll get to it in a bit.
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Misc. Tips
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    Step 6. Make another offering to the RNG. Head north.
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    You're gonna set out for stuff now.  These are your directives. Hunt snap jaws.  They have neat things, but you're looking for either axes or bucklers. Your musket should get you through most of this, but be very careful.  Don't fire at anything more than three or four squares away.  You've not put any points into the skill, this thing is a goddamn blunderbuss, and if you hit an Equimax, that is your ass.  You have grenades.  You will probably fuck up using them.  Many of them have a blast radius only slightly less than you can throw.  As soon as you get an axe or a buckler, put the points into the appropriate skill.  If you get an axe first, get whack, if you get a buckler, get the shield skill... and axe mastery.  Seriously.  Axes have an ease of use, penetration and damage that makes them pretty choice.  Long swords are dumb, short swords are good for offhand, and cudgels are okay if you're into reliable(ly low) damage, but when you've whacked, cleaved, and tripped a salt hopper, you'll understand.  
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As of right now, NPCs won't pick up your stuff, so feel free to leave a stash in one of the houses in Joppa.
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    WHY AM I SAVING THESE POINTS?  You're saving those points because you might get something so good to start it changes your mind.  If by some miracle you discover a chest with an electrobow in it, you put those goddamn points into bows and rifles. You have to remain flexible.  Eventually things will level out, but your ranged weapon choice is an important one, as is your off hand choice.  If you get something like a real shield early game, you might actually consider leveling accordingly.  That normally doesn't happen though, so it's better to just save up for offhand strikes.
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Corpses never rot, and most are perfectly edible. A single point in butchery will give you a lot of food for travelling, but it's possible to survive on just corpses for a lot of the early game.
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    If you see a salt hopper, just sprint away.  They're the bugs from Starship Troopers.  You are not Johnny Rico.  
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You can go to the Rustwells and get the wire before you get the quest. Since you don't have to go deep into any of the dungeons, it might be easier.
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Snapjaw barracks always have chests. It's worth seeking them out because you can get quality equipment, as well as an extremely good buckler.
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    At this point, it's time to gradually fight your way up to Red Rock, selling your stuff as soon as you can't carry anymore. Be sparing with using your musket.  Nomad Traders can be hard to find, and Tam doesn't restock nearly fast enough for you to pretend you're fighting redcoats out in the rust. Find a chest.  Take the chest.  Put it outside Tam's hut.  Keep full waterskins and trade goods in the chest.  They'll be safe there, and won't detract from your weight limit.  Try not to sell waterskins.  Better to fill them and keep them for large purchases.  Same goes for trade goods.  If you can keep them about until you get ego boosting equipment (like a knollworm skull) and get some points into ego (automatically of course. Never put points into ego.) they'll be worth more. Always buy nuggets, as they are lighter per dram than money.  Store those too.  Don't let that money burn a hole in your pocket.  Keep it for when a laser weapon or solar cell blueprint shows up.
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Every 3 levels, you get an attribute point. Every 6 levels, you instead get +1 to all stats.
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    You're going to get an attribute point.  Here's your decision.  If you by some miracle have gotten a lot of neat (but not necessarily useful) artifacts, your first attribute point should go into int.  This will bring you up to 25.  Take expert disassemble.  This will be by far the most expedient way to acquire second and third tier bits.  Dismantling recoilers for pure alloy is pretty much the best way to get pure alloy.  If you're not doing so hot in that regard, put it in strength.  You may be tempted to put it into agility.  If you've gotten anything better than a musket, then go for it.  Otherwise you are goofing off, you need penetration and carrying capacity.
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Cold damage can freeze enemies, which is potentially exploitable with Freezing Hands or several freeze grenades.
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    Eventually you'll clear Red Rock (don't go deeper than you have to.  Fire ants are the bugs from Starship Troopers... the book, not the movie, complete with goddamn lasers.  If they hit you while you're standing in water, there is nothing anyone can do for you except hope you were wearing bark armor, and that you smoke cure in a delicious fashion.) and be ready to go on your next step towards the rust wells.  The rust wells are not particularly alarming.  Your skills should look something like Whack,Trip/cleave,Shield(75%Block ),Ranged SKill,expert disassemble,off hand strikes,butcher, master butcher (skip the middle one).  On your way to the Barathumites, pick up scavenge...maybe.  The fact is scavenge doesn't yield too many bits, and certainly not enough of the good bits, but when you get to the Grit Gate, there is tons of garbage, and if you made the mistake of paying for lead slug blueprints, it might stifle my giggling at you.  Avoid the jungle. Go through the flower plains.  Goatfolk are no joke.  Be sure to talk to the Grit Gate after you've taken the quest.  They'll let you in to trade with them.
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Fire damage can set things aflame for lingering extra damage. Fire damage over water creates steam, which will probably stupidly kill you.
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    That's pretty much it.  From there your character options should open up significantly and you'll have the basic skills and equipment to get through whatever comes next.  Don't be afraid to run.  Qud has more hp than you do, so if the going gets tough, get going.  
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Solar Cells have less charge than Chem Cells, but recover energy quickly while outside during the day. To charge, a solar cell must remain in your inventory, not in any items.
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    A WORD ON TURRETS.
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    Don't sell bows unless you have over half a dozen.  Bow turrets are bad ass.  Deploying a turret exhausts you, so don't use them mid combat, but if you're in a situation where you have prep time, bow turrets can turn slumberling fights into games of cat and mouse... only the cat is taking 1d4 every turn.  Good places for bow turrets are:
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If you use mental mutations, they get free levels based on your Ego modifier. With max Ego, you won't need to spend mutation points on leveling spells for a long time, instead using them to learn new ones.
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    *The tops of stairs.  Angle them so they shoot at your back... or rather, anything chasing you back to the entrance.
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Shops restock on a timer. There will be a message upon reentering a town if any shop owners refreshed their stocks.
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    *At Snapjaw arrow slits.  Set them up at opposite sides, wait a few turns, collect equipment.
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Equimaxes will normally wreck your shit, but if you can kill them, they give 350 XP each. It's entirely possible to hit level 10+ before you finish your first quest this way.
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    *Around tough monsters.  ATTENTION! Do not set up turrets directly in line of sight of sleeping monsters. They will fire while you are exhausted, ruining your plan... and probably your character.
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    Note: Eventually, something always seems to fuck up and turn your turrets hostile.  They won't shoot at you... intentionally... but they will shoot your other turrets.  Best to stagger them so they don't have line of sight on each other.  Also, bow turrets aren't particularly accurate.  Try to keep something between you and the turret directly (like a snap jaw) so they don't hit you on accident.  This takes a little practice.
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A guide to Tinkering
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    This concludes the tutorial. Enjoy being Batman.
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Paraphrased from the "Caves of Qud Tinkerer Guide":
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You want to play a Tinkerer?  Terrible idea!  Tinkerers have shit survivability when the game starts, and most will die before reaching Red Rock unless you've spent entirely too much time grinding in swamps or the RNG has blessed you considerably.  BUT! For those of you who know the best part of playing in a post apocalyptic wasteland is TECHNOLOGY then maybe if you put in the effort and follow my lead, you might make it more than a week before you fast travel yourself to death because you forgot to get food.
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Tinkering lets you create items out of stuff you find. They have a rough start. They also have a lot of stat dependencies and are very item dependent, so it's highly recommended to start as a True Man Artifex.
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Get at least 21 Intelligence, and high Ego; you're going to buy a lot of data disks and scrap. Extra points can go towards Agility, and maybe a bit of Strength or Toughness. I prefer 16/18/18/22/12/20, putting future attribute points into agility or intelligence.
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Artifexes start with a stun rod and a large, but mostly random, set of scrap and trinkets. You might get a pair of nightvision goggles and helping hands, or you might have a box of crayons and a metal folding chair.
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After you raid the three chests in Joppa, check the shopkeeper for cheap trinkets. Don't disassemble anything. Give Argyle your cheapest trinkets, preferably some of the more useless things like plastic trees and crayons.  You probably also want a weapon; a rifle and some lead slugs if you can, but an axe wouldn't hurt.
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Save your skill points until you find a good ranged weapon you can stick with. An energy weapon will serve you for a long time, especially with a solar cell. Picking up the cheap utility axe skills like whack and trip are good, too. After that, you can also learn Expert Disassemble and finally start disassembling scrap.
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Head north and fight snapjaws. They drop basic equipment, so you can pick up weapons and armor you couldn't buy at Joppa. You want an axe and buckler. Pick up bows.
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If you see a salt hopper, immediately sprint away. Freezing grenades are good for emergencies, but not at low levels; you probably can't throw them far enough.
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Gradually fight your way up to Red Rock, selling your stuff as soon as you can't carry anymore. Be sparing with using your musket.  Nomad Traders can be hard to find, and Tam doesn't restock nearly fast enough for you to pretend you're fighting redcoats out in the rust. Try not to sell waterskins.  Better to fill them and keep them for large purchases.  Same goes for trade goods.  If you can keep them about until you get ego boosting equipment like a knollworm skull they'll be worth more. Save money for when a laser weapon or solar cell blueprint shows up.
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Eventually you'll clear Red Rock (don't go deeper than you have to. Fire ants are the bugs from Starship Troopers... the book, not the movie, complete with goddamn lasers.  If they hit you while you're standing in water, you're most likely fucked) and be ready to go on your next step towards the rust wells.  The rust wells are not particularly alarming.  Your skills should look something like: Whack, Trip, Shield->Deft Blocking, some ranged skills, expert disassemble, butchery, master butchery, (skip skillful butchery) and maybe offhand strikes.  On your way to Grit Gate, pick up Scavenge. It doesn't yield too many bits, and certainly not enough of the good bits, but when you get to Grit Gate, there is tons of garbage.
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That's pretty much it.  From there your character options should open up significantly and you'll have the basic skills and equipment to get through whatever comes next.  Don't be afraid to run.  Qud has more hp than you do, so if the going gets tough, get going.  
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A WORD ON TURRETS
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Don't sell bows unless you have over half a dozen.  Bow turrets are bad ass.  Deploying a turret exhausts you, so don't use them mid combat, but if you're in a situation where you have prep time, bow turrets can turn slumberling fights into games of cat and mouse... only the cat is taking 1d4 every turn.  Good places for bow turrets are:
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-The tops of stairs.  Angle them so they shoot at your back... or rather, anything chasing you back to the entrance.
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-At Snapjaw arrow slits.  Set them up at opposite sides, wait a few turns, collect equipment.
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-Around tough monsters. Do not set up turrets directly in line of sight of sleeping monsters. They will fire while you are exhausted, ruining your plan... and probably your character.
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Note: Eventually, something always seems to fuck up and turn your turrets hostile.  They won't shoot at you (intentionally), but they will shoot your other turrets.  Best to stagger them so they don't have line of sight on each other.  Also, bow turrets aren't particularly accurate.  Try to keep something between you and the turret directly (like a snap jaw) so they don't hit you on accident.  This takes a little practice.
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This concludes the tutorial. Enjoy being Batman.