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 Rainbow Dash
 >"Hey Anon, whaddaya wanna do today? I think we should go out for some wicked fl--
 >"Uh...what's that?"
 >Click
 >VRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM
 >"AAAAAAAHHH! OMGOMGOMGOMGSHUTITOFFSHUTITOFFSHUTITOFFFFF!"
 >you creep towards her, pushing the vacuum across the carpet
 >"A-anon I'm serious! Th-this isn't funny! W-what is that!? Please, m-make that loud sound stop!!"
 >You trap Rainbow in the corner, the blaring machine steadily encroaching upon her position
 >Her wings are fully extended, but she's too terrified to even fly away
 >The noise of the vacuum overrides her most basic fight or flight tendencies, rendering her shivering and curled up
 >You smile like the sick bastard you are as she goes silent with fear, covering her eyes, fully prepared to die
 >You then turn away, going off to vacuum the rest of the carpet
 >Rainbow faints in a puddle of her own piss
 >You'll beat her with a newspaper for that later
 
 Twilight Sparkle
 >immediately after the incident with Rainbow Dash, you head on over to Golden Oaks library to visit Twilight
 >"Oh hello Anon! How can I help you today?"
 >You offer to help her clean up the library, free of charge
 >"That'd be great, Anon! Spike's been visiting Rarity's boutique so much lately that he's been neglecting his cleaning duties...I can't even think straight with it being dirty like this..."
 >She invites you in and you follow her as she trots into the main room
 >You offer to get started on the floor first
 >"Oooh! Yes please! Let me go fetch the mop--"
 >You hold up a finger to stop her, and instead whip out the nozzle of the backpack vacuum, as if you're doing a budget cosplay of Luigi's Mansion
 >You wait for that sweet phrase as Twilight stares dumbfounded, purple eyes sparkling and vibrant with curiousity
 >"Wow. What's that?"
 >Oh yes
 >Click
 >VRMMMMMMmmmMMMmmmMMMMMMMMMMMM
 >You lose sight of the bookish little unicorn as she manages to jump into the air faster than your eyes can digest the information and send it to your brain
 >She almost touches the ceiling
 >She's so shocked she doesn't think to cushion her fall with magic, instead thumping down on her butt
 >"WUAHHH! AHHHHHHHH! AAASTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPSTOPSTOP!"
 >VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM
 >"D-DON'T COME CLOSER! N-NOOOO!!"
 >VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMM
 >The unicorn's little horn exploded in purple brilliance, and she whips a book forth from the shelf, preparing to launch it in self-defense
 >You simply shove the vacuum towards her suddenly, and her tail shoots straight out as she flinches, the book dropping
 >She's finally hit that sweet spot of being to scared to even think straight, her voice failing, pupils dilated
 >You lift the vacuum and place it on her butt, the suction catching her fatty rear
 >She promptly wets the floor, passing out with an exasperated sigh
 >You were so going to the dungeons for this
 
 Pinkie Pie
 >You knew it wouldn't be long before Rainbow Dash woke up from her vacuum-induced coma and flew into town to tell her friends/kick you ass
 >Time was of the essence here
 >You leave the library, powerwalking over the cobblestone street to your next destination
 >Sugarcube Corner
 >The frosty spires of the cookie wafer-constructed candy shop rises before you, and in the blink of an eye you're up the icing-laced staircase, entering through the store's perpetually-open doors
 >You ready your nozzle even though you don't see Pinkie yet
 >That bitch had a thing for surprising you by popping out when you least expected it
 >Not. Today.
 >You creep across the confetti-strewn floor, looking like Agent 47 on a mission at a Ghostbusters convention
 >Your nerves were on edge
 >It was too fucking quiet
 >A small ding comes from the bell on the counter, causing your body to freeze up and you to swing the nozzle around
 >Nothing there, just he glass countertop
 >Fuck thi--
 >"HEYA ANON!"
 >Pinkie's head sticks OUT OF THE VACUUM NOZZLE and grins maniacally at you as you fall backwards on your ass, swearing in every language you knew
 >"Hee hee! You always say those funny-sounding words when I give you one of my super-duper surprise greetings!"
 >THIS BITCH
 >She was gonna get it
 >She was gonna get it SO HARD
 >After admonishing her for almost giving you a heart attack, you set your plan into motion, gesturing to the messy floor
 >"Clean the floor? Why d'you wanna do that, anon? It's only gonna get messy again you know!"
 >You tell her it's a falling hazard, using what just happened as an example
 >"Oh no! I would never want anybody to get hurt because of my pretty party paper pieces! Go ahead!"
 >Without any further foolishness you produce the jet black nozzle from behind you, aiming it down towards the floor
 >Knowing how unpredictable Pinkie was, you weren't going to take any chances by half assing this
 >As Pinkie's head tilts and she brings her sickeningly cute face closer to the cleaning contraption, the Golden Question on the tip of her tongue, you lower your free hand to the Suction Level knob
 >Med
 >Med-Hi
 >Hi
 >MAX POWER
 >Pinkie looks down at the nozzle, staring at it intently
 >"Oooh oooh oooh! Whatcha got there, anon! Is it one of your weirdo human thingies?"
 >click
 >VRrRrRrRrRrRrRrRrRRRRRVVVVVVVVVMMMM
 >Pinkie yelps out loud in pure terror, actually standing up on her hindlegs and shielding her face like a human would
 >Her poofy pink tail curls between her hindlegs
 >Her squeals of fright were so loud and high-pitched they actually hurt your ears a bit
 >Still, a job was a job
 >You began to aggressively move towards her, waving the vacuum back and forth like a flame thrower
 >"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ANON NO! NOnononONONONO! IT'S GONNA EAT MEEE! IIIIIIIIITTTS GONNA EEEEEEEAAAAAT MEEEEEEEEE!!!"
 >You back her up against the store's back wall, jars of multi-colored rock bandy clinking and wobbling as her back hits them
 >She was petrified, eyes wide and mouth fully grimaced, her chest rising and falling rapidly
 >Not so funny now was it, you crack-snorting candyslut
 >Time for the finishing blow
 >"A...a-anon...please. st-stop. f-for me? I-I won't..sc-sc-scare you again...I p-promise...I..d-d-...d-dont hurt me...pl-please"
 >Fuck
 >Those big, teary eyes almost made you stop
 >Almost
 >Why contain it?
 >You shove the vacuum towards her face, the suction quickly snatching her hair and yanking it towards you
 >VRRRMMSHWUNKTTTHHHHHHHHH
 >On cue, she her bladder empties itself down her shivering legs as she cries in terror, tail soaked in her own pink lemonade
 >You pull the vacuum towards you until her hair is entirely straight, and then shut the vacuum off
 >She falls forward, KO'd and in a pool of piss and confetti
 >Pop pop pop
 >watching ponies drop
 
 Rarity
 >You make a hasty exit from Sugarcube Corner, almost breaking your ankle tripping down the frosted stairs in the process
 >It was time get your Oreck-fueled jimmies off on another pone before Celestia herself personally came and shut you the fuck down
 >Continuing on in the pattern of traveling to whatever destination was nearest to save time, you began to jog towards Rarity's circus-like boutique, stopping on her doorstep to catch your breath for a moment
 >Running with this big-ass appliance on your back was really taking the wind out of you, you probably shouldn't have slacked off in gym class so much
 >You'd tap X instead of holding it down while running from now on
 >Straightening up and exhaling curtly one final time, you knocked on the door, hoping you didn't look too disheveled for her tastes
 >The door swings open almost immediately
 >....nobody was there
 >Literally, the door must have been opened by a fucking ghost
 >Just as you were about to NOPE out, you actually took the time to look down, spotting a little purple baby dragon glaring back up at you
 >"What are YOU doing here?"
 >Oh no
 >Not this little nigger
 >just as you were about to reciprocate his heated question, the sound of Rarity's ladylike voice wafts through the air, interrupting your thoughts
 >"Spiiike, darling...who is it at the door?"
 >"....anon."
 >"What was that, dear? Anon...oh Anon~?! Really? Well don't just stand there, let him in!"
 >Spike rolls his eyes, but steps aside, allowing you to enter
 >That's right faget, stay salty
 >You stroll in with a smile to find the pale white fashionista busy with a massive, glittery garment, various pins, baubles, and strings flying around her in a slow-moving whirlwind of magical activity
 >It was beautiful
 >"Hello anon, daarling...how may I, Rarity be of service today?"
 >Welp, time to fuck shit up.
 >As the gears of your brain began to spin and churn, a very disgruntled Spike stomps back into the room, immediately taking up a semi-defensive stance near Rarity's hooves
 >This little faggot wasn't going to make things easy
 >Then again, neither was Rarity
 >Her entire home was immaculately clean. Pure, flawless, unstained by such common things like dirt and clutter.
 >Just like her
 >Shit
 >Looks like you'd have to make your own mess
 >You began to engage Rarity in light conversation, casually leaning against one of her tables, this one in particular carrying various jars of glitter on it's surface
 >You waited calmly for the 99-second ALERT timer on Spike to reach zero, and when he finally took his eyes off of you, you bumped one of the jars off of the table with your hip
 >Glitter went flying fucking EVERYWHERE
 >"Anooon, how could you! That's my finest jar of Shirley's Golden Glitter! Now it's all over the floor...it's RUINED! Spike, be a dear and fetch my broom from upstairs, would you?"
 >Instead of interrupting him, you actually allow him to scurry upstairs
 >Rarity was finally wide open
 >As she looked glumly at the spilled glitter, lowering the garment held in her magic a bit, you offered an apology and an alternative way to clean it up
 >"Oh no no no, anon. While I do appreciate the chivalry, I would never allow a guest to do such a thing."
 >Fuck, Spike would be back any moment. You had to act now.
 >You pulled out the vacuum, and insisted on being allowed to clean it up. You had to test out a new invention anyway, to see how it worked!
 >"Well...I suppose you COULD clean up a teensy bit of it..."
 >Aw yeah. You brought the vacuum out, and settled it on the floor.
 >"Oh dear...what IS that awful-looking contraption?"
 >Every time
 >click
 >VRUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 >The startled seamstress leaped backwards, not quite reaching Twilight's high score but almost, a shrill scream erupting from her so loudly that it actually drowned out the vacuum for a second
 >"WAH-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!"
 >The pins and string that she had been keeping magically afloat shuddered in midair and then exploded outwards in a nuclear explosion of flying fashion fragments, zipping through the air like deadly ninja stars
 >It was at this moment Spike decided to rush down the stairs, happily carrying the broom
 >A fat spool of red string slammed directly into his stomach, knocking him against the wall and emptying all the wind out of his body
 >Rarity would have turned in concern for his well-being, were she not herself frightened out of her fucking mind
 >She wasn't even saying words anymore, just uttering gibberish as the vacuum made it's unstoppable approach
 >Her dainty mascara ran down her face in dark streams, tears soaking once pure white cheeks
 >She was on her back, crawling away from the vacuum, pricking herself with the pins that had fallen haphazardly to the floor
 >Finally she had backed herself up against her favorite giant mirror, the vacuum roaring right at her quivering hindlegs
 >"A-anon.....y-you....you wouldn't h-hurt a lady, w-w-would you?"
 >No. Of course not, you informed her.
 >She sighed shakily, visibly relieved
 >You're not a lady though. You'se a pony, bitch.
 >Her eyes shrunk to dots
 >"N-no....D-DON'T!!!"
 >FINISH HER
 >You scooted backwards twice, then forward, ducked three times, and did two jabs
 >The lighting in the boutique goes pitch black as reality accepts the fatality combination
 >The vacuum nozzle lunges forward, locking onto her crotch, her hooves going into the air as she utters a screech so high-pitched it shatters the mirror behind her
 >The suction of the vac latches onto her just as she empties her bladder, the contraption literally sucking the piss out of her cunt and into the pack on your back
 >Luckily this model could handle drink spills as well, as Seen On TV
 >SHHHHHHHLUUUKUKUKUKUKRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPTH
 >Her entire body straightens out and arches with one final whimpering squeal, and then she falls limp
 >Spike groggily wakes up to see you standing over her, vacuum nozzle dripping piss down onto her belly
 >Suffice to say, that niggas mad as FUCK
 >He leaps at you in rage, but you think quickly, still on an adrenaline high from demolishing Rarity
 >You sweep the nozzle up just in time to catch him in it's suction.
 >His little belly gets stuck on the tip, arms and legs flailing uselessly
 >You reach back and flip a switch, aiming the nozzle at an open window
 >REVERSE
->Witnesses would later befuddle royal investigators by all claiming to have seen a small dragon flying over ponyville on a rainbow blast of urine, screaming anon's name at the top of his lun
+>Witnesses would later befuddle royal investigators by all claiming to have seen a small dragon flying over ponyville on a rainbow blast of urine, screaming anon's name at the top of his lungs