View difference between Paste ID: qX9h2vAX and 8MdwAiBt

 [7:18:09 AM] cohortDirector: You've been gone a long time. The place has gotten a bit dusty since the last time you were here. Things have been forgotten, stones have crumbled. But it still remains. Maybe you can breathe some life into it? Maybe it'll just sit here a little longer. It doesn't truly matter. It was nice of you to check in. You're probably wondering who I am, but that doesn't really matter. Who are you? That is the better question.
 
 Are you a brave knight off on a quest to save your chosen one? A hero selected by fate to play a part in a grander scheme than you can possibly imagine? An heir fated to fall at the hands of a jester? A serf or a maid forced to play to the tune of a clock? A princess doomed to fall at the hands of a prince? A seer blinded by ambition? A witch with boundless power? The mad heiress of an alien empire might suit your tastes? Perhaps you'd prefer to be something more humble? An investigator of imaginable power? The imagination is limitless, after all. Maybe a some sort of simple amphibian or reptile? Or perhaps you are just a boy or girl in their room?
 
 The choice is yours. So? Shall we begin?
 
 ENTER NAME ___
 [7:19:15 AM] MaleRadia/FAD: MaleRadia/FAD >FUNKSNORT ASSCHAMP
 [7:21:11 AM] cohortDirector: cohortDirector Your name is FUNKSNORT ASSCHAMP. Or at least that would be your name if your name wasn't already John Egbert. Lucky you! You're not sure where you are. In a room somewhere. It's well furnished enough. You might as well get to doing stuff. That's how these things work, right?
 [7:23:51 AM] MaleRadia/FAD: MaleRadia/FAD >Funksnort: Cut to the chase and build a fort immediately.
 [7:27:45 AM] cohortDirector: cohortDirector Okay, but your name isn't FUNKSNORT. You'll respond to this one command as a freebie, though. Shit won't get done unless you do. You quickly assemble a fort using whatever you can find around you. You were originally put off by this, seeing as it would probably be a childish and stupid idea, but it's a fort. And forts are fucking awesome. The assembled fort is unbelievably cozy.
 [7:35:18 AM] MaleRadia/FAD: MaleRadia/FAD >Assbert: Read troll romance novel until your head hurts.
 [7:43:23 AM] 8ird: 8ird >whine like a camel and piss in the fridge
 [7:44:15 AM] Brofessor: >Investigate questionable posters
 [7:44:25 AM] cohortDirector: cohortDirector Why would you get a headache reading this? It's hilarious! You love making up stupid voices to all this ridiculous melodrama. Apparently, it pisses Karkat off, but what DOESN'T piss him off?
 [7:44:42 AM] 8ird: 8ird >look up cloaca in the dictionary
 [7:45:03 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Become one with the cloaca
 [7:46:46 AM] cohortDirector: cohortDirector >Whine like a camel and piss in the fridge.
 
 You don't even know what a camel whine sounds like, so you couldn't accurately portray one. That would just be insulting to all camel thespians in existence. You're not sure what thespians means, but you're fairly certain it's a fancy word for actors. As for pissing in the fridge, you already did that when you replaced the apple juice. Or did you?
 [7:47:14 AM] 8ird: 8ird oh no
 [7:47:35 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Tavvy: Be disturbed by strange smell in your father's kitchen
 [7:48:06 AM] 8ird: 8ird oH NO,
 [7:48:17 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Tavvy: be a titmouse
 [7:48:24 AM] 8ird: 8ird the fuck is a titmouse
 [7:48:38 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor it's a fucking bird, holy shit
 [7:48:44 AM] 8ird: 8ird BUT YOU JUST SAID MOUSE
 [7:49:15 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor I don't make the rules, kid
 [7:49:23 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor I just break them
 [7:49:44 AM] 8ird: 8ird im still waiting for john to look up cloaca in the dictionary
 [7:50:34 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Ace: Have the increadible urge to make out with Dante
 [7:50:35 AM] cohortDirector: cohortDirector >You already know what a cloaca is and you have no fucking clue how you would become one with one. This is not SPARKLE DESU HOMUSTUCKU SHIPPING PARUDISU where John/Davesprite will be a thing. Actually, you're not even sure Davesprite has a cloaca. You try not to think about these things too hard.
 [7:50:55 AM] 8ird: 8ird he does
 [7:50:59 AM] 8ird: 8ird he prefers not to talk about it
 [7:51:03 AM] 8ird: 8ird you jerk
 [7:51:13 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Davesprite: have bird period
 [7:51:21 AM] 8ird: 8ird WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY
 [7:51:27 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor :D
 [7:54:49 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Johnsnort Eggchamp: set the high scores of every game you can and give all the high scores dirty words like "ASS" and "TIT"
 [7:55:03 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor Egbert: Don helm. Claim your birthright. Become the Mighty Thor.
 [7:55:33 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Alternatively, snort jam through your crotch
 [7:56:06 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Sluuurrrp
 [7:57:51 AM] cohortDirector: cohortDirector >Set High Score
 
 You already did that. You get bored pretty easily.
 [8:00:58 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Funkjohn Champbert: ponder existance
 [8:01:10 AM | Edited 8:01:15 AM] 8ird: 8ird >alternatively, pick your nose
 [8:01:35 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Davesprite: crash cloaca first into the hive
 [8:01:51 AM] 8ird: 8ird I THOUGHT WE JUST WENT OVER THIS YOU MASSIVE DICKWEED
 [8:02:07 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor Kiss my bunghole and do it, assmonger.
 [8:02:19 AM] 8ird: 8ird just to spite you i say nay
 [8:02:50 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor Does your mother know you don her drapes?
 [8:03:00 AM] 8ird: 8ird the fuck does that even MEAN
 [8:03:22 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor I don't fucking know, I haven't had enough coffee yet.
 [8:05:38 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Tavvy: craft mines
 [8:05:51 AM] cohortDirector: cohortDirector >Don Helm
 
 You put on your helm. It is sturdy. Metal. The weight of ages and the scars of war run over it's polished surface. It is magnificent. As you look out over your domain, you feel your destiny encroaching on you. The world will know your glory soon. Soon.
 [8:08:11 AM] cohortDirector: >Ponder existence and pick nose.
 
 Just as soon as your done with this. You still don't know the name of that little flag thing on the mailboxes. Why are they even there. Such a mystery.
 [8:08:22 AM] cohortDirector: Also, man, that was a big booger.
 [8:08:30 AM] 8ird: 8ird >eat it
 [8:08:42 AM] 8ird: 8ird >you know you want to
 [8:08:49 AM] 8ird: 8ird >youve always wondered how it tastes
 [8:08:52 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >That's fucking disgusting and I will disown you from this family if you do so, young man
 [8:09:01 AM] 8ird: 8ird YOU ARENT EVEN RELATED
 [8:09:04 AM] cohortDirector: cohortDirector >Eat Booger
 
 Too later, you already flicked into the garbage. You're fairly certain that's unsanitary as hell, anyway.
 [8:09:15 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor TO YOUR KNOWLEDGE
 [8:10:15 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Influx: cut the crap and be a playable character. preferably classic CKC and completely obsolete compared to canon.
 [8:11:36 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor Yo fo shizzle my nizzle, out from the drizzel appears D to the Shizzle
 [8:12:35 AM] 8ird: 8ird what have i done
 [8:12:52 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor the classic, the champ - a little peice of camp entwined with shit rap all bundled up in a baseball cap
 [8:13:02 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Johnstink Poopbert: feel a 90s era disturbance in the force
 [8:18:15 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Io: feel like a shithead for not joining in
 [8:18:37 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Accidentally end up joining as a force of chaos
 [8:18:59 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Io cannot be Tavros Nitram because John Egbert is too busy being Thor Odinson!
 [8:19:42 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Is Dave too busy being Tavros to be Loki?
 [8:20:16 AM] 8ird: >Yes because Loki is too busy being Tom Hiddleston
 [8:20:18 AM] cohortDirector: >Avengerstuck
 [8:20:41 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Tom Hiddleston: cry into Loki diary about feelings
 [8:20:48 AM] cohortDirector: cohortDirector >Bruce Banner is too busy being somewhere else to deal with this crap.
 [8:21:20 AM | Edited 8:21:24 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Tom Hiddleston was already doing that you stupid sack of shit!
 [8:21:29 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Tony Stark is too busy being a drunken playboy philathropist to make out with Pepper Pots
 [8:21:53 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Good, because Pepper Potts is too busy being Clubs Deuce
 [8:23:38 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Unfortunately that means Steve is unoccupied, so he goes back to being Dad Egbert and so should you.
 [8:24:16 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Johnsmell Egglord: fart when you think no one is around
 [8:24:27 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Be actually not alone
 [8:24:40 AM] 8ird: 8ird >90s era: attack
 [8:24:44 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Io: be active already. Walk into fart.
 [8:25:14 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >The 90s are too busy being the 80s, which are getting coffee
 [8:25:40 AM] 8ird: 8ird >The coffee is too busy being Andrew Hussie
 [8:25:40 AM | Edited 8:25:52 AM] cohortDirector: >Manny is too busy trying to figure out how to sleep.
 [8:25:59 AM] 8ird: 8ird manny no
 [8:26:04 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Manny: obtain couch
 [8:26:31 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Andrew Hussie has just been consumed by Dirk Strider
 [8:26:36 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Manny: obtain a warm mug of Andrew Hussie, with cream and sugar to taste
 [8:26:36 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Bad end
 [8:27:58 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Cloaca: witness the beautiful mating ritual of digital orange flowers
 [8:29:01 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Asscooches cant receive commands, dingdong
 [8:29:26 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor >Bootycooter: wink
 [8:31:10 AM] 8ird: 8ird >Brofessor gazes into the Analgina, and the pooptwat gazes back at him
 [8:31:22 AM] Brofessor: Brofessor Fuck.