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 Intermediate TLs: lolihunter2 yukira 叶子 サダメ
 TL: Uranophane, proofread by _____
 
 Chapter 5
-(Kazuma PoV, "Big Boss" mostly refers to Chris. Kazuma refers to the SHSG as "masked thieving group" (as he wears a mask) while Eris refers to it as the SHSG (as she has white hair). "Elroad" as translated by yuNS was replaced by "Elrod", the latter of which is an actual name)
+(Kazuma PoV, "Big Boss" mostly refers to Chris. Kazuma refers to the SHTG as "masked thieving group" (as he wears a mask) while Eris refers to it as the SHTG (as she has white hair). "Elroad" as translated by yuNS was replaced by "Elrod", the latter of which is an actual name)
 1
-That was after visit to Elrod, where a whole variety of events took place.
+That was after our visit to Elrod, where a whole variety of events took place.
-"Is that the Tennessee mansion? Quite grandiose for a home in such a wild place.
+"Is that the Tennessee mansion? Quite grandiose for a home in such a wild location.
 We arrived at the Tennessee mansion, situated in a forest near Axel.
-I admired the great mansion and exhaled in respect. Beside me, due to her noble status, Darkness nodded; also dressed in her formal clothes.
+I admired the great mansion and exhaled in respect. Beside me, Darkness nodded; due to her noble status, she was also dressed in formal clothes.
 "The Tennessee family had always been specialized in trading. They're of low status among nobility, but wealth-wise they're even richer than my family. Although, their Lady is very much disliked. Clearly only a lowly upstart, they still ridicule and mock my family for poverty! Kazuma, this quest seems highly suspicious. You have to be careful!"
 Beside Darkness, who is out of her mind from royal private matters, the also formally clad Aqua screamed for no apparent reason.
 "I too knew it was Tennessee! When I tried to loan money after spending it all ((probably on booze, right Aqua?)), I was expelled because 'we never lend money to Axis cultists'!"
 "Oh you, doing this kind of nonesense while I wasn't paying attention... Darkness, too, who tried to drug me in Elrod. Can't you all be more like our recently loyal and obedient Megumin?"
 "!?"
 Hearing this, Megumin trembled.
 "...Hey, what did you do this time?"
 "Nothing."
 She broke eye contact and violently refuted. I instantly read that as "she definitely did something again". Meanwhile--
 "K-Kazuma...I'm sorry about trying to drug you, so...please let's forget about that... Uhm, this matter is embarrassing to both of us, and should definitely be kept secret, right? Oh, and, I can treat you to high quality wine after we get back..."
 "Hey, Kazuma, this family just won't do, let's reject this quest! Ones who dislike the Axis cult can't possibly be of any good."
 --Ignoring the two complainers, I knocked on the mansion door.
 --A while ago I received a letter.
 To say, someone had invited the strongest adventurer in Axel--me--to a mission.
 After all, I've made yet another legend in Elrod, so being relied on is only expected.
 But I also have to constantly train and grind to prepare for the inevitable battle with the Demon King. Therefore, I'm very busy.
 I would have normally rejected such a quest, but the client was a noble.
 Even though I have already made all kinds of dark, underground connections, a taste of "royalty" had taught me that one more connection wouldn't hurt.
 And thus, I accepted this quest.
 "Greetings, first time seeing you. I am Lady Carleen of the Tennessee family, please take care."
 Our receptionist in the lounge was a girl slightly older than me, having a body slim as a model's and a head of red hair.
 "You must be Satou Kazuma. Thank you for taking our quest."
 The Carleen girl froze after looking behind me.
 No, more specifically after seeing the Megumin that's hiding behind my back.
 "...Excuse me, just a second please."
 "Ah, sure...no problem..."
 I led Megumin, still holding on, to the hallway by her neck.
 "Spill it, what went on between you and Carleen."
 "What are you talking about? This is also my first time meeting her... I-I get it! I'll tell you! I'll tell you! Please stop using Drain Touch! I wouldn't be able to cast my daily explosion!"
 Megumin, who had been acting strange ever since coming inside, said as she avoided my right hand,
 "...Actually, when this household was attacked by monsters, I saved them along with my friends--"
 Even though I have no idea why Megumin came to this forest; so far, I felt her story didn't need covering up.
 "Only that? I thought you broke a part of the building with your explosion magic, got caught by the police or something..."
 "No, nothing of that sort happened..."
 Yet Megumin was mumbling.
 "Since you did nothing unspeakable, you should be confident. What, you could at most be feeling guilty about not informing us before killing monsters. I was indeed worried for you, but from what you said, your group has no concerns power wise!"
 "Yes, we have a underling that's marginally powerful, a friendless crimson demon, plus an Axis priest and a certain thief."
 While I don't understand the composition of this team, I'm pretty certain that the crimson demon is Yunyun. With her on the team, I have little to worry about.
 "Then it's all a-OK. Grinding experience is also important; I'll come play with you all when I have time."
 Hearing that made her happy.
 When I took Megumin back through the doors to the lounge...
 "Apologize, now! For not lending me money because I was an Axis cultist!"
 "S-sorry, very sorry. I apologize in the name of our treasurer..."
 Seeing Aqua who's forcing Carleen to apologize and the completely red Darkness who's covering her face, all I wanted to do was leave at this point.
 2
 "--Repelling monsters around the mans...ion?"
 "Indeed. We feel secure with the best adventurers in Axel on this duty..."
 After calming Aqua down with sweets, she reaffirmed the contents of this quest.
 "We aren't all that powerful. Although, I heard the rewards were unusually high? Could I see that as having high hopes for us?"
 "Oi, can't you be a little more humble? As I've said since the beginning, this quest seems very fishy, so again, be careful."
 I listened to the explanation seriously. Darkness complained under her breath, elbowing me in the stomach.
 That said, considering our accomplishments thus far, the only abnormality would be treating us badly. This current attitude should be what we expect.
 Carleen suddenly held my hand as I sat up taller.
 "Of course Kazuma-sama, I've heard about your fame and legends. Having a plethora of skills and adapting with them to any situation, you made mockery out of many demon generals. Besides, your teammates include a holy priest, a powerful archwizard and...they're all high-tier specializations!"
 "That's an exaggeration. Although, without us, the city probably would have fallen into chaos by now."
 Holding my hand while peering with seductive eyes, Carleen's words made me ever so slightly flustered. Yet I sat even straighter.
 The speechless Darkness beside me--
 "...Hey, aren't I also a part of your team?"
 --Said while staring daggers.
 "Ah, and I thought you only came today out of fear that your precious Kazuma-sama may be re-NTR'd by me... But the rumours of Lady Dustiness Ford Lalatina fooling around as an adventurer were real! Being a impoverished noble of such a high status must be tough..."
 Carleen let go of my hand and sarcastically mocked Darkness.
 "Hoho, funny now that you say it. As expected of an upstart, no manners whatsoever. Unlike those bottom-rung, irresponsible nobles who seem willing to sell their bodies for money, our family hold royal duties and responsibility the kingdom. I am a crusader who is a shield that guards the people."
 Acting polar opposite to when she elbowed me in the dark, Darkness stood tall and proud, smiling with grace and heroism.
 ...Oi, what the hell, that's scary.
 "Oolala, expected nothing less from your Highness, Dustiness. All because of the so-called royal duties, you're poor to the point of wearing the exact same dress in every ceremony, touching, to say the least. If you wouldn't mind, you could pick a few from my old selection of dresses and take them for free, would you?"
 Finishing her statement with a cold giggle, Darkness fought back without remorse--
 "For a family that treats dresses as consumables, your generosity is almost as vast as your chest. Although, that isn't due to my 'poverty', but my love for my mother's dress; sorry for the confusion. Besides..."
 As she spoke, she crossed her arms under her bulging, voluptuous breasts.
 "Had I worn your clothes, I'm afraid...they simply wouldn't fit!"
 The air around us quite literally froze.
 ...What the hell, that's so scary!
 I want to go home.
 Carleen suddenly pounded the table.
 "Say that once again, would you, the Dustiness whose only redeeming quality is her body! The boys obviously like slimmer girls like me!"
 "Haha, then why do all the men gaze at me in every social event? Was that an illusion? Having to change dresses every time my bust increased in size is inconvenient, you know. Unless the Lady of the Tennessee family changes so often for the same issue?"
 Darkness, too, stood up, and lifted her crossed arms to show off her breasts.
 "Ahh...so heavy! If not for my being an adventurer and training my muscles, I would've collapsed long ago."
 "This...this woman!"
 Carleen glared at Darkness while gritting her teeth, yet fishily, Darkness only pretended to be troubled.
 "This must be jealousy inducing from the perspective of Lady Tennessee; when in actuality, being so big is more trouble than it's worth, you know? Heavy, stressful, restricted by your clothing... Even my armour had to be custom made. The boys' gaze just go like...... Hey, hey you, I expected you to be staring right *here* but...come on, isn't that a little too much?"
 Finding me staring dumbly at her, Darkness fearfully stumbled backwards.
 "OOOuch! Oi, what are you doing Megumin!? It wasn't aimed at you...! I'm sorry! Please stop pulling my hair!"
 Watching Darkness having her hair pulled for no reason, Carleen said with a sigh,
 "Er...so um...about the quest, could you accept it?"
 She awkwardly gave a warm smile as she asked me.
 3
 The next day.
 Having accepted the quest, we arrived again at the mansion after fully gearing up.
 To repel strong monsters around the mansion.
 "Speaking of which, why are powerful monsters only appearing here? Could there be some kind of bait in action? Also, I have an ominous feeling about this, so let's head back for now and come back later..."
 We're currently searching for strong monsters near the mansion.
 "Earlier when we made you buy dinner on a rainy day, you also had an ominous feeling. You ended up playing video games didn't you. Say, do monster really migrate that often? Even for a quest, this still feels especially vague. They only talked about monsters around the mansion...well, if there are any undeads, we just so happen to have a god-tier bait."
 "Hey, just to confirm, this bait you speak of isn't me right?"
 Aqua asked while tugging my shirt. The answer was obvious.
 ...Although.
 "I didn't expect you to say something like that. Where did your royal noble lady manners go? What do you mean by 'all the men gaze at me, could that be an illusion'? Gah, it seems you do enjoy being stared at like this at every event, don't you?"
 "N-no! It's not like...that! In that context, us nobles use eye contact to communicate, it's a social phenomenon...!"
 Darkness panicked. Meanwhile--
 "Exactly, that was also my first time seeing the oh-so-blatantly-showing-off-her-assets Darkness. So that's how it is. You have so many faces which we haven't seen yet. What were you saying? 'Ahh, so heavy...if not for my being an adventurer, I would have collapsed'? You're pretty darn stylish if I do say so."
 Megumin's follow-up attack made Darkness blushingly speed up her pace.
 She unsheathed her greatsword and started slashing wildly at the woods as if venting her rage.
 Just then.
 "Eh? Hey, wait a minute."
 My Dangersense ((detect enemy? Enemy detection?)) was triggered as I pulled on Darkness' cape.
 "What now, Kazuma? If you embarrass me any more I'll..."
 Darkness' sword shot into the sky with a "Ping".
 Had she walked further, she would have been the sword.
 Realizing the danger, Darkness threw aside her broken sword and raised her arms to protect us.
 Yet, something we can't see at all was hiding in the forest.
 Usually, this situation meant that...
 "Enemies incoming from above! Careful!"
 I quickly looked skyward, knocking Darkness away in the process...
 --Here I am in the very familiar, bright room.
 Before me was the slightly confused Eris, seeming as if she wanted to say something.
 "...That was..."
 "...Sorry, please don't say anything. Let me cool down a bit."
 I buried my face in between my knees, going into fetal position right then.
 Just thinking of my stern statement of caution makes me embarrassed to death.
 ...To death, literally.
 "--Usually means they're all above us..."
 Indeed, but nothing was above us.
 Nor in front, much less the sides.
 Behind...
 "What the hell, from below!? I've had just about enough of this world..."
 Pushing aside Darkness, an antlion-ish monster came out of the ground and--
 "...Eris-sama, are you trying to hold back laughter? Could you please not...?"
 "Not at all! I'm not holding back laughter, don't worry! No, saying 'don't worry' is a bit awkward. After all, you did lose your life. Sorry for my insensitivity!"
 Dying from the opposite direction right after warning others. Can anything be more embarrassing.
 Eris still held her poker face, yet her shoulders were trembling. It takes real skill to hold back laughter to such an extent.
 "Rather than that...right, why would something of that sort appear next to Axel? My level isn't low at all, yet I still got instakilled!"
 Eris's shoulders suddenly stopped trembling.
 "About that...Kazuma-kun, do you have time tonight?"
 She said seriously, with a completely straight face.
 "If you mean 'free', then, well, I'm free basically everyday. What, looking for a night raid? Why not warm up right here?"
 "Completely wrong, I was talking about retrieving the divine weapon! Playing with a Goddess will bring forth divine retribution you know!"
 Really now, that matter?
 "Then I'm all for it... Say, could all this be related to that divine weapon?"
 Hearing my much quieter inquiry, Eris slightly nodded.
 "No, we can't be sure yet...but it's definitely possible."
 --That is, the divine weapon originally belonged to Alderp.
 It could summon and command monsters at will. Retrieved by Chris, she sealed it to the bottom of the lake, but...
 "At first I thought that because the soil had been drained of mana, people won't move in anytime soon... Yet, the magic replenished far faster than I anticipated. People are already developing the region. I was going to transfer the divine weapon before it could be discovered, but checking under the lake I found..."
 "...That the weapon had been already taken."
 "Indeed..."
 The usually either straight faced or gracefully smiling Eris put on a depressed expression.
 I understand now. So strong monsters have been appearing there lately.
 That Carleen noble lacked anything but money, her having bought the divine weapon is very likely.
 Staying in a suburban mansion, summoning monsters like a slot machine and releasing them if the monetary goal is met--or something like that.
 ...Although this way, the date the divine weapon went missing didn't agree with the date the mansion had been built.
 But this is a world with magic.
 She may have used some sort of spell. Like those instant food and mansions Darkness showed us in Elrod.
 Unlike a certain useless goddess, Eris rarely failed. Even then she is still thus far my most respected, loyal Big Boss.
 "Sure, in the end we're just infiltrating that Carleen's home and searching it for the divine weapon, right? Count me in."
 As soon as I agreed, Eris' face glowed.
 After that, she playfully placed a finger against her lips like a child who had just invented the best prank ever.
 "Tonight, besides Kazuma-kun, there will be an additional member. As for whom...wait and see for yourself!"
 4
 "--Happy resurrection, the Kazuma who screamed 'enemies incoming from above' before getting mangled from below!"
 The always-poking-fun goddess appeared with a face full of smiles right after I revived. I have a strong urge right now to slap some sense into her.
 I seem to be laying on Aqua'd thighs.
 I sat up and took a look around.
 "Kazuma, you're awake. That was...well, thank you very much for saving. I was supposed to be the one protect you guys...apologies, sincerely."
 Darkness, taking heavy breaths in a suit of crooked armour, kneeled before me.
 Looking closely, the antlion monster has had its mandible severed, it deformed by an incredibly strong pinch.
 Among us, the only person capable of such a feat is...
 "I'm very glad that you saved me, though I still hope you'll get to see more of how tough I can be. Next time for sure...Wh-what is it Kazuma? What is your stare implying; what is your expression implying!?"
 I looked at her with a horrified expression, which Darkness doesn't seem to understand.
 "N-not like that Kazuma! Even I do not have the strength to pinch such a strong monster to death! Because of how badly you died, I let Aqua give me a strength buff, then...!"
 She refuted hurriedly. Not sure if in fear of being called hard again.
 "A grotesque death? How did I die this time? I died so fast, I didn't feel anything..."
 "Oh you!...were cut cleanly in half up the middle..."
 "I don't want to--I don't need to know this! Wait a moment, did I really die that disgustingly!? ...Hey, I was just wondering how my clothes are intact after such a death; looks like someone dressed for me."
 Then...If so, who put my clothes on for me?
 I turned towards Darkness and Megumin, both of them avoiding eye contact.
 Which side is it?
 How could I conclude from this kind of reaction!
 Then, seeing that I'm troubled, Aqua gave me a gentle chuckle.
 "It's alright Kazuma, don't worry. For a Goddess of my stature, the nude form of a human is nothing out of the ordinary."
 "Shut your mouth! Don't put on a smile like that in this kind of situation!"
 --Even though we only defeated one monster; since we already have a casualty, we called it a day.
 The quest rewards were calculated from kill count.
 The reward for just one subjugation is substantial. Yet, the client thought of it as a cheap price. In response...
 "O-only one!?"
 In the same lounge from yesterday, Carleen widened her eyes upon hearing our report.
 "Yep, only one. Sorry for letting you down, but..."
 She cut Darkness off with the wave of a hand.
 "One? Even with Lady Dustiness, you still only killed one?"
 After mocking us, she suddenly laughed.
 "Ahahahahaha! Lady Dustiness, having said so many pompous statements, only defeated one monster? Even with the party that supposedly defeated demon generals? The number one in Axel??"
 Carleen's mockery towards Darkness pissed me right off. Just now, Darkness also shot up furiously.
 "Whatever you have to say, just spill it! I know you hate me; but if you dare insult my partners, I'll make you pay!"
 "Oh I have lots to say! Because of your family putting all kinds of restrictions on loans, our income was crippled! When Lord Alderp was in charge, I was making a freaking fortune! What happened to that lord!?"
 Carleen objected, also standing up.
 "Since when did I let you complain about our family's policies!? I was asking you what the hell you had against 'only defeating one monster'! Great, since that is what you wish to talk about, let's clear it up right here! Loans are a necessary business procedure, and I'm not disallowing that. It's only that your interest rates are way too high (TL note: in business, unreasonably high interest rates are illegal, called usury), and your debt-collecting strategies are too despicable!"
 "That's what I meant when I said talking to a Lady who doesn't have a care in the world is too difficult! Even though the interest is high, as long as people want to loan, it's still a win-win in the end! Besides, did you mention that I urged people to pay their debt like it's my life? What's wrong with justly taking back what you deserved from those people who beg and pray for loans then turn into devils when you ask them for returns!? This is why you're so indebted to Lord Alderp that you had to marry him...though you lost even that when your groom disappeared!"
 Ah, I see how it is.
 I see Carleen had said some unforgivable things.
 "B##ch! You've got some balls to say that as a puny bottom-rung noble! Stay put while I literally strangle you!"
 "C-come at me! You're only words anyway! ...Dustiness? Hey, hold on, you're dealing with a civilian here, you'll get in big trouble if you killed me like that!"
 "What's wrong with justly executing a usuring loan shark upstart like you!? This is for the good of the people and kingdom! I wouldn't mind sitting in jail after wiping you out... What is it, Megumin? Don't you stop me, can't you see I'm having a final showdown with this gangsta delinquent!?"
 Megumin suddenly pulled on Darkness' cape. Carleen, having her collar manhandled by Darkness, was scared to tears.
 "Darkness, let's stop for now. We didn't really complete the quest; plus, Kazuma hadn't recovered fully. Let's call it here today."
 The most easily triggered Megumin said calmly.
 5
 That night.
 We got home early after receiving our reward from a slightly shaken Carleen.
 Megumin had an announcement to make. After hearing her speak--
 "--Pardon me, could you please restart from the beginning?"
 "No problem... Er, out of excitement, I started my own thieving group and before I realized, we had thousands of members. We turned the best house in Axel into our base; after we got solid backing, we were going to officially begin our criminal activities, and our first target was that noble called Carleen."
 Slightly terrified of what I just heard, I pondered--
 What did that bunch even do.
 The equally stiff Darkness looked away and said,
 "Speaking of which, the best mansion in Axel was recently sold..."
 Oh I beg you, please don't do this.
 "Yes, one of my underlings abused her status just a little bit, and got us the rights to use the mansion."
 "Hold on a second, even with the power of the Dustiness household, obtaining such a mansion is still a challenge. Megumin, could your 'underling' be..."
 Look, I'm begging you all to stop, if you keep talking I wouldn't be able to stay out of this!
 "Right Megumin, didn't you call princess Iris your 'underling' on our trip to Elrod?"
 "Stop now Aqua, you're usually dim, so why do you have to be excessively smart right at this unopportune moment? Look, we don't know anything, not a single thing about this, understand!?"
 "Understand, my ass! Hey, Megumin, what is actually going on!? In other words, you dragged Princess Iris into some questionable organization, then attacked that family with a bunch of strangers!?"
 An inwardly crying Darkness asked with a head full of cold sweat.
 "Calling them strangers would be rude. We currently have the carefree little sis, the friendless crimson demon, a priest from an Axis church and a thief as official members, all the others are unconfirmed!"
 Except that thief, I feel I could name all the other members.
 How could this have happened as soon as I slacked off.
 "Besides, strictly speaking, we have only the plans to strike, so we scouted out the target. We haven't done anything yet. As I told Kazuma earlier, the family was under attack by monsters, so I helped them eliminate the threat."
 Megumin's words calmed me just a little.
 No, I have more questions to ask her.
 "In the end, why would you create such a stupid organization? Why can't you just live a regular life?"
 My sincerity earned a "what the hell is this guy on about" look from Megumin.
 "Didn't I tell you before? It's unforgettable. The second time we had frost crabs, while everyone ate, didn't I tell my entire story starting from how I met the Silver Hair Thieving Group? If you want an explanation for my thieving group, I guess that's why."
 At this point, I didn't dare admit that I hadn't been listening at all while eating crabs.
 "I told everyone about my thieving group already back then. How we were hiring adventurers in Axel, how we bought the base, and started working."
 "Huh, uh, that's...exactly how it went, yes?"
 Seeing Darkness look elsewhere, I concluded that she hadn't been listening at all either.
 I turned my sight to the opposite direction--Aqua boldly shook her head and said,
 "Sorry, I was focused on eating crabs, didn't pay attention."
 ...So Darkness and I have fallen to the same level as this person.
 "--And then, after you saved that noble, they shooed you away without even thanking you, much less giving a reward?"
 To conclude her episode with the noble, I asked this question.
 "Indeed, that Carleen person was surprised after seeing me, must be from the awkwardness of that situation. I didn't go out of my way to help her either. I was planning to attack her household, but saw that they were under attack, so I lent a hand out of heroism..."
 Megumin awkwardly shrunk a little.
 "And thus, Megumin came home empty handed due to guilt?"
 "Yes..."
 Hearing my question, Megumin drooped her shoulders as if reminiscing the incident.
 However, being stripped of glory in front of her teammates is no pleasureable experience.
 ...Darkness, whose eyes had been closed--suddenly stood up, eyes wide open.
 "Despicable, that upstart isn't only stingy but also cunning as well! I can tolerate her deceiving Kazuma and I, but as a noble Lady, I cannot accept such heartless actions towards little Megumin! Unforgivable!"
 "Ah, hey, while I certainly resonate with your words well, what was that about me being OK to trick?"
 Hearing my response, Darkness' eyes glowed,
 "Kazuma! Tomorrow--I was about to say 'at once'--tomorrow morning I shall gather every family I can reach to launch an offense on that household! Didn't Megumin originally plan to rob them? Now, with the Dustiness family behind you, feel free to blow them to smithereens!"
 "Even you're spitting nonsense!? Even the volatile Megumin held her temper!"
 "No, I only refrained because when I saw the large group of monsters, my adventurer instinct took over my thief instinct."
 I've had enough of this self-degradation just when you want to praise them for once!
 "These matters seem complicated. To prevent further complications, I shall go have a drink then rest."
 All aside, Aqua seems to be the most normal one tonight.
 "Just you wait, Tennessee! I don't care about the consequences anymore. After this, I'll happily take any sort of prosecution, as long as I get to show you my wrath!"
 Hearing such an oath from Darkness, I ran to my room like a rat.
 6
 As the sky darkened and everyone turned off their lights to sleep...
 Someone quietly knocked on my door.
 "I'm awake."
 I answered while turning under the blankets. A petite figure entered the room.
 "Sorry for bothering you..."
 It was Megumin.
 That said, she wasn't wearing her pajamas even at this hour, making her seem distressed ever since dinner.
 Indeed, she's been depressed ever since my resurrection.
 Even though she tried her best to act nonchalant, as the Megumin master, I instantly saw through it.
 "What is it? Seems like something private yet serious."
 I sat up, trying to prevent the matters from becoming even more serious.
 Megumin drooped her head and shoulders.
 "I'm sorry."
 She quietly apologized.
 "No, suddenly coming in my room to say such a thing makes me feel dumped, don't do such a disgusting thing."
 I ushered her to reply, but she kept her head down.
 "Had I not tried to save that noble and allowed the monsters to attack, Kazuma may not have had to die. On top of that, the source of those powerful monsters around the mansion probably is that Carleen..."
 ...And suddenly said something like that.
 Eh?
 I felt as if I had heard the same thing from another person.
 She continued.
 "The monster summoning divine weapon might be in that noble's home. If I managed to steal it, Kazuma wouldn't have die..."
 "Who told you all this?"
 Having someone in mind, I cut her off.
 Maybe not having expected me to question her sources, her eyes glowed red in the dark and looked around--
 "It was the 'proper thief' in our group I was talking about; Kazuma does know her though..."
 With that, she smiled ever so slightly.
 I sighed, rolled out of my bed and stared at the window.
 Probably purposefully emitting hostile aura so I would save her from the cold outside.
 My Dangersense had been telling me that someone was waiting outside my window this whole time.
 Leaving Megumin baffled, I abruptly got off the bed and walked to the window.
 I swept open the curtains--
 "Is she the thief you were looking for?"
 As if this was all expected, she waved at us from the other side--
 Right now, she isn't the goddess Eris, nor Megumin's underling, but the high-bounty masked thief--my one and only Big Boss.
 7
 "Hey, aren't you a little too slow to notice me, Assistant-kun? I'm just about frozen here."
 Opening the window, Chris smoothly slid inside.
 "Say, Big Boss never set a time did she. Really, wouldn't it have been better if we met outside?"
 I replied in an especially fluent manner.
 Megumin looked at us with stupor without moving an inch.
 "...Oi, Assistant-kun, Megumin seems to have petrified."
 "Isn't that a result of your oddball entrance? Speaking of which, with a suspicious person entering through their window, anyone would freak out."
 Saying irelevant things, we smiled naughtily. Deep down we clearly know the reason why she's so shocked.
 "...So-"
 "Huh?"
 "What is up, Megumin? Sorry, I couldn't hear you clearly."
 Muttering something, Megumin suddenly kneeled down.
 "I'm so sorry! I'm clearly your biggest fan, yet I didn't know your true identity!"
 "Ah, hey, you're too loud, people can hear us!"
 "It's OK Megumin! This is nothing worth apologizing for, so please get up would you?"
 As we panicked, Megumin suddenly raised her head to glare at us.
 "Say, uhm...you had been calling Kazuma 'Assistant-kun' this whole time, could it be..."
 Her eyes shined red with enthusiasm. Now would be a terrible time to play dumb.
 I shot a reaffirming glance at Chris. She winked in response and gave me the thumbs-up, permitting me to spill the truth.
 After all she deliberately chose a time when Megumin would be present. She clearly wanted to do the grand reveal tonight.
 Then I have no reason to keep it secret.
 I walked over to the closet where I kept my mask--
 "Look closely Megumin. The idol you were passionately describing really is--"
 I opened the closet. Chris beside me smiled naughtily and decided to use this moment to mock Megumin--
 "'Yes, I will look closely, because I want to see what the person I like the most had been doing this whole time'"
 Megumin straight-forwardly defended her position; it's now Chris' turn to blush.
 "Big Boss, this little girl is a tryhard, better not make fun of her. I've suffered quite enough."
 "S-s-sorry, sorry. I don't understand the situation, yet I've been massively hurt. What is this foul-smelling romance. What is this feeling of simultaneously shy, curious yet wanting to cover your face...!"
 Megumin somewhat sadly looked at the quietly bickering duo.
 "About that, are you two in a close relationship? Since when did you two get so intimate?"
 "Megumin, you're mistaken! We've only recently started thieving; didn't I say this before, I have absolutely no feelings for Assistant-kun! I only see him as a friend, nope, no special feelings at all!"
 "Wait a moment, what did you two talk about while I was gone? How did I get friendzoned that easily!?"
 What were these two even talking about.
 To prevent any more of this high-calibre gossip, I've vowed to cut down on my sexual harassment.
 As I pondered and changed, I felt two pairs of eyes from behind.
 "When you said you would look closely, isn't this a little too close..."
 The two intently staring girls hurriedly turned away just as I was about to remove my pants.
 "--Isn't the full moon simply gorgeous tonight! It doesn't matter for Assistant-kun since he has nightvision, but for me it's the best environment to work under!
 We ran through Axel under the full moon.
 Megumin was dressed in her casual outfit instead of her usual robe.
 According Chris, she even made a new veil just for her.
 "Uhm, can I really come with you? I have no thief abilities, I'll only be dead weight..."
 To the Megumin that had been keeping a bit of distance out of guilt since the beginning, I replied,
 "I had known that you were coming long ago. Besides, you could treat the masked version of me as an entirely separate personality. Right now, I am not the overpowered adventurer Satou Kazuma, but a high-bounty, most wanted criminal; the leader of the Masked Thieving Group. The time of full moon marks the climax of my righteous spirit, for in this moment, I am invincible. Undefeatable. And tonight...is no different!"
 "Hey, Assistant-kun, are you sure you aren't some sort of devil or demon? You're only a normal human, right? Also, this is the Silver Hair Thieving Group, whose leader is me."
 I ignored Big Boss' anticlimactic words. Though I still feel someone staring from behind, I ushered forward.
 Because tomorrow, a certain batsh#t-insane person of nobility will be taking revenge for Megumin.
 Considering how muscle brained she is, I gave up negotiation the second I saw her steely eyes.
 With that, the only time to steal the divine weapon of summoning would be before dawn.
 As long as we can retrieve the weapon, we could give it as evidence to Darkness, and justly sue the noble for "threatening safety of Axel by summoning monsters".
 Thinking back, I was sent to Eris because of her, too. I'd also be a happy man if we found the evidence.
 ......
 "Well well, I've been feeling a concentrated stare for quite a while now."
 "Ah! S-s-sorry! Your mask is so cool, I can't help but..."
 It seems to have belonged to Megumin behind me.
 "Say, we're about to reach the gates. Put on your veil, Megumin; tonight, you're one of us Silver Haired Thieves, you know?"
 Hearing Chris' order, Megumin's eyes shined as she excitedly put on her veil.
 "...Very bad news Chris, this girl's eyes are red, a veil wouldn't help at all!"
 "What do we do Assistant-kun!? I didn't consider this!"
 The veil that covered just her mouth only further emphasized her special features.
 There are merely two crimson demons in town. It'd be a miracle if we weren't recognized.
 I passed my own mask to the obviously depressed Megumin.
 "Can't help it. You'll have to wear my mask tonight. I'll make do with your veil. I guess for tonight, you're the leader of the Masked Thieving Group!"
 "Oi, Assistant-kun, shouldn't we standardize the naming convention of these thieving groups? Besides, the leader is me!"
 Megumin smiled brilliantly upon receiving the mask.
 "When we had the bounty placed, didn't Big Boss say 'Masked Thieving Group' was alright, and let me be its leader?"
 "The news has died down. Plus, I was the original creator, of course it should be named after my characteristic silver hair!"
 I started bantering with Chris as I put on Megumin's veil.
 "I am confident with my naming abilities. I could provide one for this thieving group if you want."
 "Absolutely not." x2
 I disagreed synchronously with Chris.
 --Using Sneak, we easily breached the gates of Axel, and snuck into the forest under the moonlight.
 "Kazuma, I feel so cool with this mask on. This mask can be said to have been designed for crimson demons... Can I keep it?"
 "I've also taking a liking to this mask recently, so you cannot have it. Vanir sells those masks in his shop, though it's quite often out of stock. Probably from its sheer popularity."
 Chris, seemingly intrigued by our conversation, asked,
 "Is Vanir that guy with the mask? I only caught a few glances of him from afar, like when he was chasing away crows and was thus dubbed the 'crowslayer'. He sounds like a good guy."
 ...What is she even saying.
 Are all the goddesses in this world blind or something?
 No, I remember her saying that she uses a mortal body when wandering in the living world, so she has no godly perception. Could that be why she never caught Vanir's true form?
 Although I could picture terrifying events going down, I'm still morbidly curious about an encounter between Eris, Wiz and Vanir.
 "--Oh, I see it. Come on Megumin, tonight we fight in vengeance for you. I don't have a good image of that person either."
 As Chris spoke, Megumin cracked a smile as she looked upon the Mansion in the forest with sparkling red eyes.
 "Come, let's go!"
 Probably to fend off against monsters, two guards stood in front of the gates.
 I activated Lurk and approached them from the dark, preparing to neutralize them.
 Two guards.
 I only need to cover their mouths from behind then use Drain Touch.
 ...Suddenly, a rustling noise came from the opposite direction of my approach, to the guards' 9 o'clock.
 Both of them were alerted and turned left.
 I took this chance and dashed forth with all my might. Each hand covering a mouth, I activated Drain Touch.
 Seeing the two fall silently to the ground, Chris and Megumin came out from the woods.
 "Uhm, you two seem to be veterans at this. Very impressive, especially Kazuma!"
 The normally ungrateful Megumin admired us with respect.
 The noise that caught the guards' attention seems to have come from a rock that Chris tossed.
 "We were the most wanted thieves that breached the defenses of an entire royal castle, mind you. This is but a piece of cake."
 Chris chuckled with pride.
 "Why are you bringing this up now? You had clearly been being an underling for the fake thieving group recently. Say, Big Boss, why do you keep getting into these interesting scenarios the second I stop paying attention?"
 "How the hell would I know? By raw luck, I'm supposedly better off than you."
 Putting it that way, Chris made me realize just how many ugly situations I've been through even with my remarkably good luck.
 I passed through the mansion grounds as I pondered, and came to the back door.
 "...No kidding, our luck sure is great."
 "And by 'great', I think you mean more like 'jackpot'."
 "The 'veteran' title rings true, staying calm under even this kind of circumstance."
 We exchanged glances, thinking of what to do in this scenario.
 "No matter who you are, please come save me!"
 Before us was Carleen, trapped within the grasp a tentacle monster.
 "--Th-thank you so so much! I nearly lost something priceless that's of utmost importance to nobles..."
 Chris and I went forth and rescued Carleen from the tentacle monster, before realizing that we were in a cage.
 Further down the room was a door, but it was sectioned off by metal bars.
 Looking at the design, it was probably used to summon monsters safely from the other side.
 "This is...? Why does the back door lead to a prison!?"
 Carleen, who had just caught her breath and stood up, coughed as she said,
 "That's not the back door, it's the disposal gate for inexpensive monsters."
 Only then did Carleen look at us cautiously. She held up something and threatened us not to move.
 "Big Boss, didn't this person mention 'inexpensive monsters'? She has to be a criminal!"
 "Hold on Assistant-kun, I haven't found the divine weapon yet!"
 Seeing how calm we are, Carleen yelled somewhat furiously.
 "Who really are you two!? Why did you intrude, knowing what kind of place this is!?"
 "You're that notorious Tennessee family, aren't you? Well, tonight, we're paying you a visit."
 Chris answered grandiosely.
 "So that's how. Usurers make a plenty of enemies. You're one of them, correct? Well, unfortunately, you have to be guinea pigs for my latest product!"
 Having said that, Carleen raised the offensive looking object high up--
 "Steal!" x2
 Chris and I both activated our Steal and obtained something.
 "Huh!?"
 We ignored the wide-eyed, screaming Carleen, and inspected our loot.
 "Sure I have it, but just what is this?"
 "Ah, damn, I lost again! How could I only steal panties again!"
 The weapon Carleen was about to use ended up in Chris' hands.
 I only got white panties.
 "Why is it that Kazuma's steal is specialized for sexual harassment? ...Hey, let me see that. I think I've seen it before... No, not the panties, I mean the stone!"
 Chris handed her stone over to Megumin. I in the meantime thought about what to do with the panties. Carleen glared at me furiously, what a magical situation.
 "G-guards! We have intruders! They have unholy intents towards me!"
 She finally remembered to call for help.
 "This here is a forbidden magic weapon made from monster eggs. It can summon monsters, but that's the extent of its abilities. It has no control over summoned monsters, and also summons at random. So, this is at most a 'highly dangerous magical tool'."
 Hearing Megumin's analysis, Carleen chuckled confidently.
 "Only a 'dangerous magical tool'? No, this is my magnum opus. By chance, it could summon monsters like large onion ducks and giant golden ants. So far, the most notable success was a baby dragon ((jarippa?)). Selling him alone has brought me more than enough money to cover for my ridiculous expenditures and wastes."
 Numerous footsteps are heard outside. And now, putting some distance between us, Carleen took out a brand new stone from the shelf.
 In other words, this chick summons monsters inside this partition. If it ends up being valuable, she sells it. If not, she opens the back door and let them into the forest.
 Eventually, as the discarded monsters accumulated, problems arose; and thus, the strongest adventurer in Axel--I--was called to clean up her mess.
 "Big Boss, she is but a measly delinquent, just watch her admit to her own crimes."
 "Assistant-kun, you should never turn such a thought into words. Although, she's only a letdown for me. Here I thought she had the divine weapon..."
 "Be quiet you two; look, she's blushing..."
 Our calmness agitated Carleen to raise the second stone.
 "Laughing in the face of death, you two can go repent in hell! The mansion police will also be here soon--"
 "Steal!" x2
 Before Carleen could finish, we used Steal again.
 "Still my win."
 "No, hold on. To me, compared to that rock, this thing pleases me more. As for who won, I think I did."
 "What a dirty pervert. Saying that in front of us..."
 In my hand are Carleen's bras.
 Chris has the stone.
 "What the hell!? What are you two here for!?"
 Now not only covering her crotch but also her breasts, Carleen glared back while on the verge of tears.
 Just then.
 "My lady, what is happening!?"
 "Intruders! Capture them now!"
 Carleen pridefully said to the mansion police.
 --However, they were on the other side of the bars.
 "Assistant-kun, this chick is hopeless."
 "I knew that from the start. Merely someone who plays Gashapon (TL note: a Japanese toy sold from vending machines that's kind of like a Kinder Suprise) using forbidden magic tools."
 "What is a Gashapon? Forget that--why is she summoning monsters from inside the cage? She couldn't have accidentally summoned one while cleaning the shelf, could she?"
 Hearing my breakdown, Carleen's face flushed to the maximum. Chris nodded in agreement.
 "We've only been here for a short while, but I think it's time to go. Take the magic toy as evidence for the Dustiness family."
 Carleen's face instantly turned pale.
 "H-hold on! I will not let you guys win! Even like this, as a high-tier noble, I can still make enough time for the police to come over--"
 "Steeeeeaaaaa-"
 "Don't, Assistant-kun! If you keep stealing, theft wouldn't be your only crime!"
 Chris hurriedly stopped my third steal on Carleen.
 "What could go wrong? Let us just bare her nude form for all of her own servants to see!"
 Megumin made such a cruel statement towards the Carleen who's now only covered by a single dress. Realizing the severity of her situation, Carleen fell onto the floor and nudged backwards trembling in fear.
 As Chris had said, it's about time we retreated.
 Possibly recognizing our style and attitude, Carleen exclaimed--
 "I knew I've seen this mask somewhere before. You're that Masked Thieving Group, aren't you!? Our family won't fall from a little forbidden item. Just you wait, I will raise your bounties tenfo--I'm just joking! Sorry!!"
 She yelled in fear at a flick of my wrist.