View difference between Paste ID: cdWP8hdp and GBC5M18P

 <Fillyosopher> YOu feeling bad?
 <Fillyosopher> that happens.
 <Fillyosopher> You thinking that causing yourself physical harm with help?
 <Fillyosopher> That is unexcusable
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [TJs being stupid]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Its either hurt myself or break something
 <Fillyosopher> BULL
 <Fillyosopher> TALK IT OUT
 <Fillyosopher> You have a caring tulpa ASKING you to talk
 <TJFS[Sheila]> so what? another group of people onlien can hate me
 <Fillyosopher> Never, never hate
 <Fillyosopher> I won't hate you
 <Fillyosopher> Not for this'
 <TJFS[Sheila]>  mdfo
 <TJFS[Sheila]> 'YOu werent there
 <Fillyosopher> not for anything else
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Every fucking time
 <TJFS[Sheila]> It fucking happens
 <TJFS[Sheila]> And having someone who cares
 <Fillyosopher> I wasn't.  I don't know what happened.  But I still care about both of you
 <TJFS[Sheila]> amkes the feeling worse
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [im sorry]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I dont blame you
 <TJFS[Sheila]> its not your fualt
 <TJFS[Sheila]> and Im hurting you
 <Fillyosopher> TJ... I really wish I could give you a hug.
 <Fillyosopher> Because no-one deserves to feel hurt by another caring for them
 <TJFS[Sheila]> It happens
 <TJFS[Sheila]> it always happens
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Every time I open up to someone because they said they'd be there for me
 <Fillyosopher> Learn.  Change. adapt.  survive
 <Fillyosopher> You don't need to open up to me yet then.
 <Fillyosopher> or ever
 <Fillyosopher> if it would it worse.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I was this close to grabbing a shard of glass off my already broken window
 <Fillyosopher> I'm so very sorry.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> This close to doing something stupid
 <Fillyosopher> Not that you are you... but that I can only offer words.
 <Fillyosopher> But I'll do my best.
 <Fillyosopher> What can I do to help.  or maybe even better, what can sheila do to help?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [TJ PUT THE FUCKING PEICE OF GLASS DOWN
 <Fillyosopher> Sheila, if I may
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Im just looking at it
 <Fillyosopher> sheila, is he worth life?
 <Fillyosopher> even now?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [yes]
 <Fillyosopher> Because if yes.
 <Fillyosopher> then stop him
 <Fillyosopher> in anyway you can
 <Fillyosopher> apologize later if you must
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [all ive got is my voice
 <Fillyosopher> but an unfixable end..
 <Fillyosopher> is never fixed...
 <Fillyosopher> You, both of you, have only what power you allow yourselves.
 <Fillyosopher> i've been there...
 <Fillyosopher> and I was so very glad to have a tulpa...
 <TJFS[Sheila]>  [how can someone who has the internet
 <TJFS[Sheila]> and a tulpa be so lonely]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [he stopped looking at the chat]
 <Fillyosopher> Forget.
 <Fillyosopher> It is easy to forget.\
 <Fillyosopher> But don't judge him for being lonely.
 <Fillyosopher> There is still potential.
 <Fillyosopher> ...
 <Fillyosopher> fuck it, now I'm crying...  Please just hug him and reassure him.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [hes being so stupid
 <Fillyosopher> There is always another chance.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> at least he cant do anything while hes translating for me]
 <Fillyosopher> don't remind him
 <Fillyosopher> unless, you can in fact hold him to that.
 <Fillyosopher> in which case, don't stop
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I've never hurt myself
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Never
 <TJFS[Sheila]> In the last six years of my depression
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I've hit my head against the wall
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Fought my dad
 <TJFS[Sheila]> But not once have I thought about doing anything other than quick and painless
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I had the peice of glass pressed to my thigh
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Pressed to it
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [Youre stupid.]
 * Fillyosopher hugs TF
 <TJFS[Sheila]> yep.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> This isn't going to be the last time this happens
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I know it.
 <Fillyosopher> No you don't
 <Fillyosopher> that is one thing I can assure you of
 <Fillyosopher> You don't KNOW anything about the fture, you decide it
 <Fillyosopher> If you've decided this will happen again, then perhaps it will.
 <Fillyosopher> But if you decide it won't then it will not.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I can't think to myself that this is the best way that it could be
 <Fillyosopher> I spent 2 years learning this... building walls and fears, only to keep myself alive.
 <Fillyosopher> But it is easier to choose
 <Fillyosopher> To choose that things wil get better
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I had reached the point where I couldn't trust myself
 <Fillyosopher> Then trust in SHeila
 <Fillyosopher> Sheila cares
 <TJFS[Sheila]> She's frustrated with me
 <Fillyosopher> and?  do you know why?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Yeah, she's got full right to be
 <Fillyosopher> tell me why
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Because I was going to do something absolutely idiotic
 <Fillyosopher> TJ, tell me why sheila is frustrated.
 <Fillyosopher> Okay.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Absolutely selfish, stupid
 <TJFS[Sheila]> ]And to top it all off I wasn't listening to her
 <Fillyosopher> So how can you make sure this doesn't happen again?  By never, EVER blocking her like that.
 <Fillyosopher> If you can't trust yourself yet... then at least trust her enough to listen to her.
 <Fillyosopher> and not just listen and then close up again
 <TJFS[Sheila]> It was cycle
 <Fillyosopher> LISTEN, discuss, learn.  She can teach you and help you, just as you've helped her in the past
 <Fillyosopher> A cycle?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I felt like I hurt her, she felt that and thought that she hurt me
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Which I felt, which she felt
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Our emotions aren't seperate enough yet
 <Fillyosopher> You don't need to be more seperate, necessarily.
 <Fillyosopher> What surprises me is that, knowing her feelings, and vice verse, neither of you were smart enough to talk it out.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I kinda... just wanted to be alone
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Didnt want to bring her down
 <Fillyosopher> If you feel you've hurt the other, don't stop and feel bad about it.  GO CHECK!  Hug the SHIT out of the other and make everything better.
 <Fillyosopher> that goes for both of you
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [he's a butthead]
 <Fillyosopher> Sheila, thats cool and all, but you have to forgive him too.
 <Fillyosopher> and then beat him up if he trys to block you again.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [I dont have enough control of myself to do anything]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [he went into autopilot, hes never done that]
 <Fillyosopher> TJ... If you aren't to fearful to, could you give Sheila the power to contact you at anytime?
 <Fillyosopher> and not just shooting messages at you, I mean the ability to MAKE you hear.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [He could hear me the entiere time]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [...like now]
 <Fillyosopher> Okay then.  TJ, would you mind listening?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> yeah Im listening
 <Fillyosopher> Not to me, silly.  To your tulpa!  When she speaks, no more autopilot!
 <Fillyosopher> Or at least, let her be able to turn off your auto pilot to get your attention.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I was listening the entire time
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I didnt have anything to respond with
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [youre a cunt sometimes.]
 <Fillyosopher> SAdly, that is the same thing in this case.  If you aren't thinking of a response, then you aren't really listening.
 <Fillyosopher> Oh, be kind Sheila!
 <Fillyosopher> What help will that be?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [It'll help me feel better.]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> im sorry
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Look at me
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Im arguing with myself
 <TJFS[Sheila]> hahahahahahahaha
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [hush.]
 <Fillyosopher> arguing with yourself is good
 <Fillyosopher> it means you'll get yourself sorted out!
 <Fillyosopher> You'll figure out what is happening!
 <Fillyosopher> I make a habit of it.
 <Fillyosopher> if I don't, my mind started splintering.
 <Fillyosopher> So don't worry about it!
 <TJFS[Sheila]> SHe's right
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I am a cunt.
 <Fillyosopher> See!?  this is why you shouldn't cuss at him.  He might take it to heart!
 <Fillyosopher> and then you've just made it worse again!
 <Fillyosopher> Better to suck it up a bit and tell him he's stupid.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I don't think she'd say it if I didn't agree with it
 <Fillyosopher> or even better, suck it up alot and Just hug him
 <TJFS[Sheila]> at this point, anyways
 <Fillyosopher> That is the point
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [That's it though! I can't hug him! I managed to touch his shoulder twice!]
 <Fillyosopher> So stop saing it, stop agreeing about it.
 <Fillyosopher> You can too hug him!  You have a shape?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [yeah, we finished it a few nights ago[
 <Fillyosopher> His mind/soul has a shape too.  even if you have to make a small shape of him to hug, do that.
 <Fillyosopher> Make something that repressents him and hug that until he knows that point.
 <Fillyosopher> the*
 <Fillyosopher> and TJ, you do the same.  Even if you can't feel Sheila, hug something representing her.
 <Fillyosopher> if it has to be a pillow, so be it.
 <Fillyosopher> But until you two are able to forgive, in voice and in intention, this is just going to come up again.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [I cant blame him for this... but I can't help him either]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> hey youre not useless
 <Fillyosopher> Can't help him?
 <Fillyosopher> :P
 <Fillyosopher> I call bullshit
 <Fillyosopher> You already have
 <Fillyosopher> You were around when he needed someone elling at him.
 <Fillyosopher> and you are still around to comfort him
 <Fillyosopher> just as he is still here to comfort you.
 <Fillyosopher> there is a cycle to that aswell, you know.
 <Fillyosopher> To comfort, and good intentions.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Thanks sheila. thank you.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [someones gottta be there to kick your ass when you do crazy stuff]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [and I dont see you listening to your dad anytime soon]
 <Fillyosopher> meh, you shouldn't be trusting parents to fix everything anyway
 <Fillyosopher> You need to beleive in yourself first.
 <Fillyosopher> them... their unknowns.
 <Fillyosopher> but that is just my past speaking
 <Fillyosopher> I hope you two are doing better?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Much. [Much.]
 <Fillyosopher> If you EVER need anything, just ask.
 <Fillyosopher> I do what I can...
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [he should really be writing a progress report]
 <Fillyosopher> Journals are very good, for nearly everything.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [...this is the most he's ever listened to me. Im only a week old]
 <Fillyosopher> Happy 1week birthday!
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [as far as I can tell anyways]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I have this odd feeling she's much older
 <Fillyosopher> You may be a week old... but you are also as old as him.  And maybe more sensible :P
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Hardly.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> She's naked.
 <Fillyosopher> :D
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [shut up you.[
 <Fillyosopher> shit
 <Fillyosopher> ninjad
 <Fillyosopher> I meant, to place that after the hardly.
 <Fillyosopher> ... Sorry Sheila...
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [Mr turbofingers over here might be putting them to some use-]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Okay, that 's enough of thjat
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [But-]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> No butts.
 <Fillyosopher> *4xFacehoof Combo*
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Sigh
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Give her an inch, and she takes a foot
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [-long-]
 <Fillyosopher> ... there is a joke there...
 <Fillyosopher> ...
 * TJFS[Sheila] sighs
 <Fillyosopher> I saw that coming...
 <Fillyosopher> You two don't enjoy yourselves too much now ;)
 <TJFS[Sheila]> She *may* have influenced my speech
 <Fillyosopher> oh?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I'm definitely not ready for that
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [sure you aren't.]
 <Fillyosopher> Fears are normal.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I get last say here
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [Nope]
 <Fillyosopher> Don't sweat it
 <TJFS[Sheila]> YES I DO
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [no]
 <Fillyosopher> Sorry TJ, welcome to democracy
 <Fillyosopher> :P
 * TJFS[Sheila] face desk
 <Fillyosopher> Just be glad you only have one
 <Fillyosopher> and that she isn't playing any pranks yet :D
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [he was going ot say that he can ignore me if I get too terrible. thats gotta be fixed.]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Shit.
 <Fillyosopher> exactly
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Iappreciate the help
 <TJFS[Sheila]> But
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Damn it
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Im not ready for her yet!
 <Fillyosopher> Tj, you can't ignore her.  But if you are very kind, she might consider being a bit kinder about it.
 <Fillyosopher> especially if it really bothers you.
 <Fillyosopher> And don't let fear hold you too long.
 <Fillyosopher> Else you'll never find out whats on the otherside.
 <Fillyosopher> Shall i leave you two in peace then?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Too
 <TJFS[Sheila]> many
 <TJFS[Sheila]> chat
 <TJFS[Sheila]> windows
 <Fillyosopher> :P
 <Fillyosopher> GOOD
 <Fillyosopher> Somepony else is helping me then
 <Fillyosopher> Mind if I ask who?
-<TJFS[Sheila]> Cheesums
+<TJFS[Sheila]> Cheesums
 
 <Fillyosopher> especially if it really bothers you.
 <Fillyosopher> And don't let fear hold you too long.
 <Fillyosopher> Else you'll never find out whats on the otherside.
 <Fillyosopher> Shall i leave you two in peace then?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Too
 <TJFS[Sheila]> many
 <TJFS[Sheila]> chat
 <TJFS[Sheila]> windows
 <Fillyosopher> :P
 <Fillyosopher> GOOD
 <Fillyosopher> Somepony else is helping me then
 <Fillyosopher> Mind if I ask who?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Cheesums
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Well.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> That was kind of awkward.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [I made a friend!]
 <Fillyosopher> oh good!
 <TJFS[Sheila]> ...An intimate friend.
 <Fillyosopher> hmmm?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> She's a week old and already
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [Whaaaaaaaat?]
 <Fillyosopher> She is a week old... and exactly as old as you are.
 <Fillyosopher> she can have some fun if she wants :P
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Yeah well I'm being protective
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [But I wannnnnnnt to[
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I don't think you're ready.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [Whyyyyyy]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Cause I have to be your autocorrect!
 <Fillyosopher> xD
 <Fillyosopher> No comment
 <Fillyosopher> :P
 <TJFS[Sheila]> She's such a flirt
 <Fillyosopher> Besides, I'm a pony.  What would I know about romance. ^-^
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Pony genetalia is pretty large
 <TJFS[Sheila]> ;)
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [**]
 <Fillyosopher> and now who's being a flirt, hmmm?
 <TJFS[Sheila]> Don't look at me, that was her
 <TJFS[Sheila]> I forgot brackets <_
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [nimbus]
 <Fillyosopher> Sheila, I'm sorry hon but I'm gonna have to say no.  I've already got a stallion... or two.
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [awwwwwww]
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [TJ is watching so much disney songs]
 <Fillyosopher> Not to mention, the others in here wouldn't be so happy about it.
 <Fillyosopher> democracy is a terrible thing.
 <Fillyosopher> ;)
 <TJFS[Sheila]> [So people keep telling me]