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1 | >Be Norman | |
2 | >It seems it'll be another normal day at school | |
3 | >Hello Norman, -says purple; as usual the first one to greet me in the morning- Let's have another great day at school | |
4 | >she gives me a hug and a pat on my back. She's being quite touchy today, I guess she's trying one of her weird things | |
5 | >for the rest of the day, things were as usual, except because people laughed at my back and made comments like -Now you're just being desperate- | |
6 | >I wonder if someone stuck something like those "kick me" signs on my back. I Check the back of my jacket but nothing was there | |
7 | >I wonder what's going on. Maybe it's some rumor or something. Not that I care | |
8 | >I'm definitely going Normy -I turn my head to see Brad giving me a thumbs up. The hell is wrong with that guy? | |
9 | >Let's just ignore him as usual | |
10 | >Time to go home now | |
11 | >on my way out I receive the sweetest surprise in my life | |
12 | >there she was, like an angel descended from heaven; truly a walking miracle, The Arian Beauty was waiting outside school. She was waiting for me | |
13 | >Norman dear, would you mind going out for a walk with me? -she asks with that beautiful voice only fitting for her | |
14 | >Of course, anywhere with you -what the fuck am I saying, let's try not to be some weird loser | |
15 | >Anyways my princess and I go for a walk while talking about trivial things, time passes without me taking notice of it, but I'm still weirded out at how we have seen the same tree like 16 times | |
16 | >then her phone rings -excuse me my dear, I need to answer- while talking on her cell, a smile appears on her face | |
17 | >After ending her conversation she says -Norman, I feel exhausted of all this walking. I don't want to impose upon you, but I heard that your home is around these parts. | |
18 | >I like where this is going | |
19 | >Would you kindly allow me to take a little rest in your place? -she asked me while fluttering her eyelashes | |
20 | >It would be an honor for this lad to have you deign my home with your presence -I said as I playfully bowed to her | |
21 | >You clearly are a true gentleman | |
22 | ||
23 | >It would be an honor for this lad to have you deign my home with your presence -I said as I playfully bowed to her | |
24 | >You clearly are a true gentleman -she replied with that smile of hers | |
25 | >I took her to my home. I walked in clouds all the way home | |
26 | >When I opened the door, a creature jumped into my arms, at the same time a group of voices yelled -Surprise!- | |
27 | >my smile turned into a frown and into a smile again | |
28 | >my emotions conflicted as I wanted to enjoy the company of the aryan beauty, but I don't mind having a party to celebrate... | |
29 | >Happy birthday Norman! -yelled the crowd while pink hugged me | |
30 | >when Twilight told me your birthday was coming -Pink started speaking- I just knew it had to be a surprise party, I would have organized it at sugar cube corner as usual but doing it at your home makes it more surprising for you ,right? -she then whispers in my ear- you also liked the surprise before the surprise; eh, loverboy? -damn it Pink You really know how to give the best presents | |
31 | >but then a question arose -Purple, how did you know it was my birthday? I don't remember telling you | |
32 | >that's where I come in sonny -dad spoke while taking something from my back- I can't believe you didn't notice this paper stuck on your back during the whole day -he had nothing on his hand, maybe this is a special paper that can't be seen by purehearted people | |
33 | >Purple later told me that her magic made it so only I couldn't see it | |
34 | >Purple dispelled her magic and I could see the poster. It was as big as an A4 paper sheet, it had loud colors and it had "Party at Norman's. Talk to Twilight. Yours truly Pinkie Pie. | |
35 | >Piiink!! what was the big Idea? how could you make me walk with that on my back. -I said quite anoyed | |
36 | >Uhm, sorry Norman, that was your dad's idea, but I'm definitely using it next time I organize a party. -Pink spoke with a huge smile- I love your parents they sure now how to make a good party. Now I just need to know how hard ther party. And -Pink's speech went on and on | |
37 | ||
38 | >I can see why my parents don't like Pink too much, she's like a combination of their worst personality traits; she had my dad's rusemastery and my mom's ability to switch emotions almost at will. I wonder if she isn't actually my long lost sister or something like that. It wouldn't surprise me at all | |
39 | >so here I was under my parent's watching gaze; right on their hands they were determined to find out which girl I fancied so they could tease me about it, as they have been doing since I looked at a girl for the first time | |
40 | >With me in this carefully planned trap were, The Aryan Beauty, Purple, Pink, Yellow, Rainbow, Orange, Red, Brad, the wall eyed girl and Lightblue | |
41 | >What? What are you doing here Lightblue? -I asked | |
42 | >I came to see how will you ridicule yourself this time -she answered- In this way the great and talented Trixie will finally have revenge on the Public humilliation you submited her to. Also, that Twilight girl told me that everyone was invited | |
43 | >you don't have many friends do you? -I told her in my mind | |
44 | >I still had fun on the party though, we danced, played and chatted, I even had a good time with Brad, spoke a bit to Trixie and my parents fell in love with Pink as they were on the same wavelength | |
45 | >then it came, the dreaded truth or dare game | |
46 | >I knew my parents would try to get me to say which girl I liked. So I just hoped my father's turn never came, because if he ever made me take one of his dares I would never be able to look at anyone in the eye ever again, so if dad played I was forced to pick truth and he knew it. Why the hell are they even playing with highschoolers in the first place? | |
47 | >And so the rounds of questions and dares began. some were funny, some were insulting | |
48 | >And then the wall eyed girl asked the innocent question; Who's your special someone? luckily the question was not adressed to me, but to Brad | |
49 | >He stood up and spoke as some kind of herald -The one I love is the girl of snow white skin. To her my heart belongs! | |
50 | >WHAT? | |
51 | ||
52 | >I got upset. Why is this faggot even here? I hate him even more now, and if he pretends to take my love's heart, I'll beat this faggot's ass | |
53 | >my parents eyes shone as if they were saying "gotcha" as they noticed my reaction it seems no one else did, though I saw Lightblue smirk at me when Brad revealed the feelings he held | |
54 | >Snow-white skin huh? -I heard the aryan beauty say; her face seemed interested but not in the man who had spoken but in his choice of words, as if there was another woman here with the same skin tone | |
55 | >the other guests just put an excited face as a reaction to the sudden confession as they could be witnessing the birth of a new romance; well, every other guest except Pink and Purple laughed to their hearts contempt | |
56 | >damn them. They are the ones who know of my love and now they laugh in my face? | |
57 | >Do you have a problem with this Norman? -the faggot dared to ask | |
58 | >Of course I have a problem with that cocksucker. Do you have a problem with getting your ass handed to you? -that's what I would have said if the aryan beauty wasn't right by my side. | |
59 | >The one I love is Norman's cousin Norma | |
60 | >PInk and Purple were unable to stop laughing for a short while | |
61 | >I was relieved as I didn't have to add jawbreaking thug to my list of "nicknames" at school | |
62 | >cousin? I don't remember having a niece with snow white skin -Dad spoke as cunning as always- | |
63 | >Pink then got out of her laughing trance and spoke with a dead serious tone of voice. | |
64 | >You must have heard wrong brad, she's my cousin not Norman's? | |
65 | >so she was your Cousin Pinkie why haven't you introduced me to her? -Brad and The beauty spoke in harmony. the first one in joy, the later in angry | |
66 | >hehehe, game over, lets partay!!! -blurted out Pink | |
67 | >The white skinned girl he refered to as Norma was none other than me under some spells Purple had casted on me. I know I'm irresistible but this is too much. I just wonder, why does The Aryan Beauty care about her? Is she in love with Brad? | |
68 | >if so, What would I do? | |
69 | ||
70 | >So Norman, -The Aryan Beauty spoke, once everyone else went to party and her attention had shifted from Pink to me- I see you did have a problem with Brad's little crush | |
71 | >wh, what? no, of course not, I mean why would I care? -I replied to her strange comment | |
72 | >well, I'm letting you now that I support his romance 100% as that's what friends do -she said while wearing a serious face- any objections? | |
73 | >none, I guess, it's just that... | |
74 | >Look dear, I don't care if that girl was head over heels for you; she doesn't care about you at all she didn't go to the disastrous show we organized to help you, and she didn't even come to your birthday, a party her cousin planned | |
75 | >well, she couldn't come because | |
76 | >and there you go again -She became a bit angry and I don't even know why didn't I just keep silent- Brad is going to ask her out wether you like it or not. Or am I not white enough for you? you racist little man | |
77 | >well, I'm glad she doesn't like Brad so I still have a chance, The loud music didn't let me hear what she said vey well, but she lloked very annoyed, But I'm sure she said that she will get Brad to date the female me and that I'm racist | |
78 | >then she just went to dance with the girls while keeping her enraged face, It was a bit funny to see how her actions contrasted her expression. | |
79 | >I see you are in trouble sonny -Dad spoke with a huge smile- two timing is not good, it requires lots of skill, just ask your mom about the times she found me trying to | |
80 | >you are lucky I haven't had the chance to find you out -mom said while cracking her knucles. The 3 of us knew my dad was faithful but the scene was still a bit scary- but dear, you shouldn't be such a bad boy, we have taught you to respect the ones you love and two timing is a big no no | |
81 | >but she's not my girlfriend -I replied lamely | |
82 | >sonny you know that it doesn't matter anymore as we will tease you even if you don't have a girlfriend, and I'm interested in this cousin of Pinkie, she didn't tell us about her at all | |
83 | ||
84 | >sonny you know that it doesn't matter anymore as we will tease you even if you don't have a girlfriend, and I'm interested in this cousin of Pinkie, she didn't tell us about her at all and she told us everything she knew about you while we were preparing your party. | |
85 | >damn it Pink just decide if you want me to like you or hate you | |
86 | >but she didn't tell us who was your girl; you did that with the face you put when your friend spoke | |
87 | >ok, I'm not hating Pink this time | |
88 | >I just leave my parents be and make my way to where my friend are, only to be stopped by Pink | |
89 | >Norman please go out with Brad -she said at the verge of tears- I can't stand them anymore -she ponted at a smilling brad and an annoyed aryan beauty who were coming near us | |
90 | >Look pink -I said- you digged your own grave cause I don't now what have you been telling Brad. and he is a pretty cool guy, I don't want to leave him hanging on to false hopes; also, I want to tell the aryan that Norma doesn't exist and having a date with Brad won't help me with that | |
91 | >just reject him as Norma, pretty please? -she asks me with a sad puppy face and big teary eyes, she'll need to try better than thatif she wants me to do such a thing | |
92 | >Okay, just this one -I answered with a detached expression | |
93 | >wait, what? damnit, why can't I resist puppy faces? | |
94 | >I called my cousin, she accepts going on a date with you Brad, don't ruin it -Pink says as she turned towards the ones who were chasing her wearing a victorious smile | |
95 | >she then looked at me and hugged me and began dancing with me -have I told you how much I like you? It's sad that you're already taken | |
96 | >Pink, just stop joking -I said as I kept her between my arms | |
97 | >by tha way, your date is in two days -said the pink haired girl when we stopped dancing- and don't tell Rarity yet | |
98 | >Ok, I'll do so -I spoke as I had already surrounded my will to her machinations | |
99 | ||
100 | >so, the big day came, my date with Brad's tonight | |
101 | >school just went like it normally does | |
102 | >after school I hanged out with Purple, Pink and The Aryan Beauty. As usual aryan is carefully watching our surroundings as if looking for something | |
103 | >then Brad joins us | |
104 | >I hope you're ready for your date -said The Aryan Beauty | |
105 | >of course Rary, I'll follow all of your advises -Brad answers. You better don't get too familiar with her if you know what's good for you | |
106 | >we continue with our chat until Brad leaves yo get ready for this night's main event | |
107 | >today I'm breaking his heart, or else he'll keep pestering pink | |
108 | >I acted as if i had to go home because I couldn't let the embodiment of beauty see me turn into a woman; at least not until after she listens to me when dealing with the topic of norma | |
109 | >Once my love was out of the picture I came back to the girls. | |
110 | >okay purple I'm all yours -I said- but this time just write the spells on my arm | |
111 | >I asked this so I could easily dispell the magic whenever I wanted | |
112 | >I decided to go to our date wearing the same clothes I had on. No way in hell I'm dressing up for a date with a guy | |
113 | >And of I go to where I'm supposed to meet up with Brad. Outside school; how original. | |
114 | ||
115 | -The big time is nigh, I will finally see this harpy in action. I'll get to know what am I going against. Calm down Rarity, this is not for yourself, you are here for your friend Brad; if things somehow go wrong you'll jum in and help him -I thought as I waited for that woman and my friend to arrive to their meeting spot | |
116 | ||
117 | >I'm finally here, and Brad isn't here yet, well It's still a bit early I'm sure he'll be here on time | |
118 | >I'm sure Pink and Purple are watching me from somewhere | |
119 | ||
120 | -There she is, the famous Norma, not such a great sight to behold, she moves and dresses like a man. The nerve some people have, she dressed exactly like Norman. It's as if she was challenging me. if she had seen me even once she'd know she doesn't stand a chance. | |
121 | calm down Rarity, this is for Brad, not for you -as I was lost in my thoughts, someone hopped near me. if I hadn't been used to that I would have been frightened | |
122 | Hello Pinkie -I said without letting Norma out of my sight- I guess you are worried about your cousin and your friend, as much as I am | |
123 | Yup -said her- how did you know it was me when you can't see me? | |
124 | I'm used to your antics by now, I dont need to look at you in order to know that you're there | |
125 | she then grabbed my head and told me -look at me- I looked in the at the direction my head was moved to only to see nothing, and in that moment, a memory sparked in my mind -Twilight's magic- the one that had turned Norman into a pony and made his invitation poster invisible to him, It could surely make us invisible too | |
126 | Twilight -I knew she was there somewhere- please make me invisible too | |
127 | I let out a little shriek when I felt Twilight writing on my back. but just because of the suddenness of it | |
128 | Now I was ready to spy for real | |
129 | ||
130 | ||
131 | >Finally, Brad came, on time but still -Don't you know that you need to be at least half an hour early for this kind of thing? I guess you don't like me at all- I yelled at him; today I'm being a bitch, in that way he will come to hate Norma without me needing to break his heart | |
132 | >I rock | |
133 | ||
134 | -And there is Brad on time as a true gentleman. This girl must be desperate for male attention seeing how she got here so early. | |
135 | I couldn't believe she yelled at him for coming here on time. I hope she fall's in love with Brad, in that way Norman won't live under this uncouth woman's thumb; I mean so brad can be happy. | |
136 | ||
137 | >we start walking towards the place where we're going for dinner, I keep pestering him by saying -Are we there yet? I'm tired of walking. Is this over yet?- that'll teach him to not take me on dates. | |
138 | ||
139 | -the couple starts moving towards the place I picked for their date, a fancy restaurant I've always wanted to be taken to. It's an honor for this girl to be there before me, but I'm making sure Brad looks as dreamy as a man can be. | |
140 | However, this ungrateful harridan keeps nagging the poor gentleman I trained. You're definitely not getting Norman | |
141 | ||
142 | >We arrive to our destination at last, a very first class restaurant, it's quite the fancy place, I'm definitely bringing the aryan beauty here when I ask her for a date; I'm absolutely taking some dating tips from you Brad. | |
143 | >But, I'm not here for sightseeing, I need to make him hate me, so first thing I do once we get to our table is to get my legs on top of it -Problem motherfucker?- I say with a smirk on my face | |
144 | >You really are something else -he says. Hell yeah it's working- Despite looking so shy the first time we met, you are pretty bold. you don't take shit from anyone and I love that -godammnit Brad, why are you such a retard? | |
145 | ||
146 | -I can't believe what my eyes are witnessing that girl is beeing boorish on my dreamed date | |
147 | Be thankful you're even here on a date | |
148 | hahaha that Norma sure is something else -pinkie says | |
149 | ||
150 | ||
151 | -Shhh Pinkie, We don't want to be found out -Twilight says | |
152 | ||
153 | >the date goes on with him speaking about his love for music and things like that; this guy is totally awesome, I can't believe he wants to be my friend. but as I'm in Norma mode, I just nodded while trying my best to look uninterested | |
154 | ||
155 | -My eyes must be playing tricks on me, this girl doesn't pay any attention to her date is there no limit to her uncivil behavior. Or maybe she's so obsessed with Norman that she can't put another man on her mind, I can understand thet but still you shouldn't be as inconsiderate as you are being right now | |
156 | ||
157 | >the dinner finally came to an end; I'm obviously paying my part as I don't want to take advantage from this; that would be very wrong afterall. he then takes me to a walk on the park. Another tip I'm taking from you, sorry for being such a bitch but believe me I'm doing this for your own good. | |
158 | >you know Norma, -he says while taking my hand- you are one of a kind; you didn't shy out and were being yourself during this whole date, even in that fancy place where even I got stiff you did your best to make me feel at home; I think I really like you and I would love you to be my girlfriend | |
159 | >Oh shit, I can't break his heart after that confession. Damn it brad why do you need to be so cool | |
160 | ||
161 | -Thankfully this savage woman finally got out of my favourite restaurant. I see that she at the very least paid her part of the bill, so she isn't iredeemable; now we go for a walk on the park, the perfect activity to end a date in a dreamy manner. | |
162 | as they walk side by side I see Brad take her hand. And deliver his confession; My work here is done, there's no way she can ressist to such purehearted feelings | |
163 | Then the awkward girl spoke in a monotonous but loud tone of voice | |
164 | ||
165 | >I hope no one else sees what I'm going to do right now! | |
166 | ||
167 | -This girl is weirder than Pinkie, speaking about the devil -Off we go- Pinkie said while grabbing me and taking me to somewhere else | |
168 | Why Pinkie? this is going to be the best part -My complaints fell on deaf ears as I couldn't stop my friend from taking me away from the scene | |
169 | ||
170 | >I hope no one else sees what I'm going to do right now -I screamed with a monotonous voice as I could feel the constant gaze of Pink and Purple; I didn't know where they were, but I was sure they were near | |
171 | >Brad was a bit weirded out, but his face seemed expectant; I guess he thought I was going to kiss him or something. I'm so sorry dude, this is not your day | |
172 | >I can't continue with this Brad, I don't want to break your heart but I can't let you live under such deception -I said as I rolled up my sleeve | |
173 | >I don't exist, I'm just the product of an experiment with magic and under this feminine features it's just me, -I erased the spell from my arm- Norman | |
174 | >Norman, but how? -he asked dumbfounded | |
175 | >I can't really explain, but Norma appeared due to a magic spell someone casted on me. You met her when we were trying some spells and the whole situation escalated up to the point we got today | |
176 | >to my surprise, the broken hearted guy's reaction was not anger or violence but... | |
177 | >Damnit Norman -he said as tears rolled down his face- I loved your female self I don't think I'll ever meet a girl like her | |
178 | >I just did the first thing that came to my mind; I embraced the weeping and let him cry on my shoulder while patting his back as if he was but a little girl | |
179 | >the dreaded date had finally come to an end and instead of an angry Brad leaving me on my own, I was here trying to give solace to the man whose heart I had broken | |
180 | >you could have used me in any way you wanted -he spoke- yet you didn't take advantage of me and revealed yourself so I didn't delude myself. You really are the best friend one could ever ask for | |
181 | >I can't believe he still wants to be my friend but I guess I could be so -my mind pondered as I held my friend in my arms | |
182 | ||
183 | Pinkie finally released me so I get back to the scene, only to find brad crying in the arms of.. | |
184 | ||
185 | ||
186 | Pinkie finally released me so I get back to the scene, only to find brad crying in the arms of... | |
187 | Is that Norman? -I asked as I witnessed the most heart warming exhibition of friendship I had ever seen | |
188 | I had never seen Norman trying to console someone, but I'm glad I could see it now | |
189 | ||
190 | >C'mon Brad, there's lots of fish in the sea; don't cry over a girl -I kept telling him- Let's go get some actual food | |
191 | >we went to get some burgers and the day ended in a good light | |
192 | ||
193 | That girl should have broken Brad's heart when I Norman appeared and I was out of the picture, it's good to see that my dear is such a good friend and stayed with Brad instead of running away with that harpy | |
194 | He truly deserves the love of any lady he sets his eyes on, I just hope to be the lucky one. but still I decided to stop that evil girl's plot of taking my Norman's heart, and that's exactly what I'll do if I ever see that girl again | |
195 | ||
196 | >As I went back home I saw Pink and Purple | |
197 | >Norman, good job back there. -said Pink- thanks for not telling him that it was all my idea. | |
198 | >yes, -Purple said- I'm very sorry that my studies on magic had brought you and brad this much troubles, and I deeply thank you for not saying that it was all my fault as it really was. | |
199 | >don't worry girls I should have told him the truth back at the party -I said while trying to comfort them | |
200 | >you know -Pink said- your aryan beauty was also watching the whole thing and now she hates your female self; but dont worry, I made sure she didn't see you turning back into normal Norman | |
201 | >goddamnit Pink, now I cant tell her that this was all just a magic fueled misunderstanding | |
202 | >once I got home I was so lost in my thoughts that I couldn't sleep during the whole night | |
203 | ||
204 | The date END |