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| 1 | - | http://pastebin.com/raw.php?i=ZXHtmnfJ |
| 1 | + | bind pub omn !ks proc_kicks |
| 2 | bind pub omn !kbs proc_kickbans | |
| 3 | bind pub omn !DECAPITATION proc_decap | |
| 4 | bind pub -|- !DICEDUEL proc_duel | |
| 5 | bind pub omn !LAZOR proc_lazor | |
| 6 | bind pub omn !GOATSE proc_goatse | |
| 7 | bind pub omn !DERP proc_derp | |
| 8 | bind pub omn !DINO proc_dino | |
| 9 | bind pub omn !RAEP proc_raep | |
| 10 | bind pub omn !MORDOR proc_mord | |
| 11 | bind pub omn !BEARTRAP proc_bear | |
| 12 | bind pub omn !HUH_ proc_huh | |
| 13 | bind pub omn !SAS proc_sas | |
| 14 | bind pub omn !DICKINBUTT proc_dib | |
| 15 | bind pub omn !COCKS proc_cocks | |
| 16 | ||
| 17 | proc proc_kicks { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 18 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Methods are \: \002 !DECAPITATION !DICEDUEL !LAZOR !GOATSE !DERP !SAS !DICKINBUTT \002" | |
| 19 | } | |
| 20 | ||
| 21 | proc proc_kickbans { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 22 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Methods are \: \002 !RAEP !MORDOR !BEARTRAP !HUH_ !COCKS \002" | |
| 23 | } | |
| 24 | ||
| 25 | proc proc_dib { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 26 | global botnick | |
| 27 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 28 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 29 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :8:::::::::D~~~$text" | |
| 30 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :Eat my love juice" | |
| 31 | putquick "INVITE $text $chan" } | |
| 32 | } | |
| 33 | ||
| 34 | proc proc_sas { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 35 | global botnick | |
| 36 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 37 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 38 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :This is $text http://imgur.com/Hsmxw" | |
| 39 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :$botnick hates socks and sandals"} | |
| 40 | } | |
| 41 | ||
| 42 | proc proc_raep { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 43 | global botnick | |
| 44 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 45 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 46 | set banmask [getchanhost $text $chan] | |
| 47 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :$text is far too innocent. He needs a DAMN good RAEPing." | |
| 48 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034With blood. \0032\:3" | |
| 49 | putquick "MODE $chan +b $banmask" | |
| 50 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :$botnick RAEPs $text with his large collection of anatomically correct animal dildos" | |
| 51 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Thank you to RAEP for being Dino's AMAZING test subject <333333333" | |
| 52 | } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :$text Is Not In The Channel" }
| |
| 53 | } | |
| 54 | ||
| 55 | proc proc_cocks { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 56 | global botnick | |
| 57 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 58 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 59 | set banmask [getchanhost $text $chan] | |
| 60 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :COCKS." | |
| 61 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :http://i.imgur.com/ddse1.gif" | |
| 62 | after 3000 | |
| 63 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\00316Do you like the cocks?" | |
| 64 | after 5000 | |
| 65 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034We know you do" | |
| 66 | putquick "MODE $chan +b $banmask" | |
| 67 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :Lolcocks" | |
| 68 | } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :$text Is Not In The Channel" }
| |
| 69 | } | |
| 70 | ||
| 71 | proc proc_mord { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 72 | global botnick | |
| 73 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 74 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 75 | set banmask [getchanhost $text $chan] | |
| 76 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :YOU SHALL NOT" | |
| 77 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0038FUCKING" | |
| 78 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034\002PASS" | |
| 79 | after 500 | |
| 80 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\00316My precious" | |
| 81 | putquick "MODE $chan +b $banmask" | |
| 82 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :Gandalf" | |
| 83 | } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :$text Is Not In The Channel" }
| |
| 84 | } | |
| 85 | ||
| 86 | proc proc_dino { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 87 | if {$nick == Dinosaur} {
| |
| 88 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :DINOSAUR IS FUCKING AWESOME" | |
| 89 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :DINOSAUR IS FUCKING AWESOME" | |
| 90 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :DINOSAUR IS FUCKING AWESOME"} | |
| 91 | else{
| |
| 92 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :YOU ARE NOT DINOSAAAUUUUWWWWWWW"} | |
| 93 | } | |
| 94 | ||
| 95 | proc proc_bear { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 96 | global botnick | |
| 97 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 98 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 99 | set banmask [getchanhost $text $chan] | |
| 100 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :$nick places beartraps in a circle around $chan, to keep $text out" | |
| 101 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034$text will now leave voluntarily. In 20 seconds." | |
| 102 | after 20000 | |
| 103 | putquick "MODE $chan +b $banmask" | |
| 104 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :I told you not to stand on the beartraps" | |
| 105 | } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :$text Is Not In The Channel" }
| |
| 106 | } | |
| 107 | ||
| 108 | proc proc_huh { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 109 | global botnick | |
| 110 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 111 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 112 | set banmask [getchanhost $text $chan] | |
| 113 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Huh_ hears $nick's pleas, and banishes the fuck out of $text" | |
| 114 | after 200 | |
| 115 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Seriously Huh_'s awesome" | |
| 116 | putquick "PRIVMSG $text :PM Huh_ for an unban" | |
| 117 | putquick "MODE $chan +b $banmask" | |
| 118 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huh_\(god\)" | |
| 119 | } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :$text Is Not In The Channel" }
| |
| 120 | } | |
| 121 | ||
| 122 | proc proc_decap { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 123 | global botnick | |
| 124 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 125 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 126 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :$text is decapitated" | |
| 127 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :It's only temporary" | |
| 128 | } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\002$text\002 Not In Channel" }
| |
| 129 | } | |
| 130 | ||
| 131 | proc proc_duel { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 132 | global botnick | |
| 133 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 134 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 135 | set dice {expr { rand() }}
| |
| 136 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Rolling dice" | |
| 137 | if {dice <=0.50} {duel = 1}
| |
| 138 | else {duel = 2}
| |
| 139 | after 2000 | |
| 140 | if {duel = 1} then {
| |
| 141 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :You lost" | |
| 142 | } | |
| 143 | elseif {duel = 2} then {
| |
| 144 | putquick "KICK $chan $nick :You lost" | |
| 145 | } | |
| 146 | } | |
| 147 | } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\002$text\002 Not In Channel" }
| |
| 148 | } | |
| 149 | ||
| 150 | proc proc_lazor { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 151 | global botnick | |
| 152 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 153 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 154 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034Charging.........\003" | |
| 155 | after 500 | |
| 156 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034Charging.........\003" | |
| 157 | after 1000 | |
| 158 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0038Charging.........\003" | |
| 159 | after 1500 | |
| 160 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0038Charging.........\003" | |
| 161 | after 2000 | |
| 162 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0033Charged :D\003" | |
| 163 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :LAAAZZZZOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRR" | |
| 164 | } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\002$text\002 Not In Channel" }
| |
| 165 | } | |
| 166 | ||
| 167 | proc proc_goatse { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 168 | global botnick | |
| 169 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 170 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 171 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :$botname applies gloves\003 | |
| 172 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :Tears $text a new asshole on his chest" | |
| 173 | } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\002$text\002 Not In Channel" }
| |
| 174 | } | |
| 175 | ||
| 176 | proc proc_derp { nick uhost hand chan text } {
| |
| 177 | global botnick | |
| 178 | if {[onchan $text]} {
| |
| 179 | if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
| |
| 180 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0038Lol-DERP$text\003" | |
| 181 | after 500 | |
| 182 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0032I wrote you a poem, Derp$text\003" | |
| 183 | after 500 | |
| 184 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0032Lemme find it...\003" | |
| 185 | after 1000 | |
| 186 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0038FOUND IT!\003" | |
| 187 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034Clears throat\003" | |
| 188 | after 200 | |
| 189 | putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0033Roses are Red, violets are blue, I'm gonna fuck you with a rake\003" | |
| 190 | putquick "KICK $chan $text :I hope you enjoyed it. \0032I wrote it myself" | |
| 191 | } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\002$text\002 Not In Channel" }
| |
| 192 | } | |
| 193 | ||
| 194 | putlog "my large anus is loaded" |