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 >Day NaN in Equestria
 >Well, not-quite-but-pretty-much-Equestria
 >A few things are different from this place and the one in the show
 >Multiple universes, different reality or some shit
 >The biggest and best difference was Spike
 >Or rather Barb
 >Turns out in this reality, spike was a chick
 >And female dragons mature quicker
 >It was a shock the first time you knocked on the door to the treebrary, and got answered by a 5'10 smoking hot lizard lady
 >The ponies were quick to accept you, and though you would call some of them your friends, you were constantly reminded that you were different
 >Being twice as tall as most citizens of Equestria had its drawbacks
 >On top of that, turns out science was widely regarded the same way as magic was back on Earth: a load of bullshit
 >Which was tough shit for a physcics undergrad with no applicable skills beyond having hands
 >You were doing shitty jobs that no one else wanted to do for barely any money
 >You had a small house on the outskirts of Ponyville, near the 2spooky4ponies forest
 >You didn't see why it was so bad, most of the really dangerous things lived a lot deeper in
 >You were immune to magic too, which you found out after being stared at by a cockatrice for an uncomfortable amount of time before it gave up and slithered off
 >Turns out Barb had similar problems
 >Most ponies subconsciously saw her as a terrifying monster, and treated her with exaggerated friendliness
 >Maybe that's why she'd taken such a shine to you
 >Humans being the apex predator, you were used to being around carnivores,  and holy shit, she was an actual dragon
 >She didn't know what FUS RO DAH was, but refused to say it based on how eagerly you'd tried to get her to
 >One thing that hadn't changed between this reality and the show one was that Barb was damn sarky
 >Resulted in some grade-A bant when you spent time together, which was pretty often
 >In fact, she was visiting you today, which would mean now was a good time to get out of bed, and stop expositioning to yourself.
 
 >Shit shower shave, in that order. Anyone who does it differently is a hack
 >Don your dapper suit
 >It be drivan bitches cray to the zee
 >Take a little walk through Everfree to kill time before Barb shows up
 >Grab a few herbs while you're out there- who needs a spice rack when you've got a forest out back?
 >Rhetorical question, as if you could afford a spice rack
 >You get home, stash your spices and admire your own little slice of heaven
 >Think of the cabin from the Evil Dead, one big room containing a kitchen, sitting area and a dining table with a bedroom through a door off the side
 >You'd been working hard to make it nicer, buying or even making furniture when you had the time and money
 >Your most recent purchase was an antique looking rug
 >A knock at the door snaps your attention away from your prized rug
 >"You there Anon?"
 >Must be Barb
 >Brush yourself down, fix up look sharp
 >Open the door, and Barb greets you with a smile
 >She's looking good, as always. Curvy in all the right places
 >Your eyes take in her slender waist, and wide hips. Damn
 >"Hey anon" she walks into your house "whoa, that a new rug?"
 >You take a good look at her booty before closing the door
 You're damn right, pretty nice, huh? Only set me back 50 bits
 >"50 bits? What, did they charge by the thread?"
 >Ouch
 So it's a bit threadbare, but I think it really holds the room together
 >"Holds the room together? It looks like it can barely hold itself together" she says with a grin
 It's an antique!
 >"An antique? Wow, well, my mistake. I thought it was the one the Apples throw out last week"
 >Fuckan ouch, you need a good comeback, you're getting walked all over
 Well, at least I didn't call Twilight mum once
 >#rekt
 >She laughs
 >"You always use that when you know you're losing. How's it going anon?"
 >You chat for a while, rip into each other a bit
 
 >Eventually, it's time to make your move, and bring up the real reason you invited her over today
 So... remember a few weeks ago we were chatting about food?
 >"Not particularly, no. We chat a lot."
 >Shit. You'd hoped she'd remembered
 We were chatting about meat? You were saying you'd never tried any.
 >"Oh yeah, I remember. You called me a disgrace of a dragon and said I was bringing shame to forebears. What of it?"
 And I was telling you about all the different, delicious kinds. Chicken pie, beef wellington, lamb stir fry...
 >Barb has a vacant look in her eyes, and you swear you can hear her stomach rumble
 >"Stop anon, you know twilight would never let me eat anything like that in her library"
 >Eating meat isn't unheard of in pony culture, but it's heavily frowned upon. Meat vendors are tolerated, and some upmarket restaurants cater to carnivorous patrons
 >Still, most ponies want nothing to do with it, and it can be pricey as hell as a result
 Well, I've been saving up, and today is the day you taste flesh!
 >Probably could have worded that better
 >"Oh?! No way!"
 >She bounces in excitement, and her chest jiggles a bit
 >She doesn't have tits, just a sort of exaggerated female curve on her upper chest, probably something like a B or C cup
 >Damn if isn't still sexy as hell though
 >You drag your eyes off her hot bod before she catches you, but she's thankfully too excited to notice
 >"So, what have you got? Chicken? Bacon?"
 At the moment? Just 200 bits, but I know a guy... well, a griffon actually...
 >Play it cool anon
 >She grins playfully
 >"What, you pay a griffon for his meat?"
 >Fuck
 Yeah well...
 >Come on brain
 You called twilight mum.
 >Nailed it
 >A few minutes later you're both leaving your house, chatting and laughing as you head towards the ponyville market
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 >20 minutes later, you're standing in the market
 >You have about 220 bits on you, freshly withdrawn from the First National Bank of a sock under your mattress
 >Barb is with you, though she looks a bit nervous
 >Maybe you should have just bought the goods in advance and surprised her
 >"So, uh, where do we go now?"
 It's just down an alley on the other side of the market
 >You make your way through the market and into a dark back alley, stopping in front of a thick metal door.
 >Barb looks around nervously as you hammer on the thick door
 >A few seconds pass before a hatch in the door slides open, and a pair of eyes suspiciously scrutinise you
 >"Vat is passvord?"
 Flamenco
 >Stupid password bullshit, as if there were any other bipedal ape descendents in the local area
 >"Sorry, zat vas last month passvord"
 >wat
 I haven't seen you in a month, how am I supposed to know what your stupid password is? Just let me in
 >"Vell, if you had signed up for..."
 I'm not signing up for you newsletter. We've been through this, I don't want a load of spam mail
 >The eyes narrow at you through the slot
 >"Is not spam mail, is newsletter. Has many good coupons and news, includink new passvord. No newsletter, no passvord, no entry"
 Why do you even need a password? Is this just some stupid gimmick to move more newsletters?
 >"Hildegarde say to me, buyink printink press bad idea, but I say it bring more customers. If I not givink out newsletters, she bitink my head off, alvays with the moanink and the..."
 Yeah, sure. Listen, can you just give me the newsletter now?
 >The eyes blink
 >"Eh, come in. I'll go get next month newsletter"
 >The hatch closes, and a moment later, the door swing open to reveal a griffon
 >He's about to turn around, but he stops when he spots Barb nervously running a claw through her head spike things
 >"You didn't say you had lady friend wiv you! Come in, velcome!"
 
 >Barb nervously shuffles in
 >"Uh, thanks, I'm, uh, just here with anon"
 Barb, this is Gunter. He's the guy I was telling you about earlier.
 >You have no idea what his accent is supposed to be, you would have guessed Russian, but his name is German
 >Fucking Equestria
 >"Vhy hello, my little babushka"
 >Ok, that was definitely Russian
 Yeah, we're in a bit of a rush today. Barb hasn't eaten meat before, so I thought I'd pay you a visit
 >"Oh, never eaten meat?! Come, come, let us fix that! HILDEGARDE! CUSTOMERS!"
 >You follow Gunter down a set of stone steps into a basement
 >You feel Barb pressed close to you as you descend, nervously looking up to you
 >You smile at her to put her to ease, and she relaxes a little, thought she stays close. Not that you mind
 >Gunter leads you into a well lit, clean room, with a glass display cabinet full of all kinds of delicious meats
 >Barb's eyes widen at the variety, and as she takes it all in her tongue slowly licks her lips
 Yeah, look, I only have about 150 bits, so I was thinking, maybe a rabbit?
 >"A rabbit!? No, no, it is special occasion, so ve vill do special deal, ja?"
 >Ja? You wish this prick would pick a nationality and stick with it
 Ok, what did you have in mind?
 >The griffon moves behind a counter, and pulls out two slabs of meat
 >"How about two steaks? Fresh in, nice and tender, not too fatty."
 >Barb grabs your arm and pulls even closer.
 Don't worry Barb, all the meat is specially sourced, that's why it's so expensive. Those steaks probably cost 300 bits each, there's no way I have that much anyway
 >"Maybe ve could make little deal? It is special occasion after all! You vant girlfriend to enjoy her first time!"
 >"Oh, uh, we're not actually, uh, we're not together" Barb pipes up, her face blushed a vivid red, though she doesn't let go of your arm
 >"Vell, however you vant to say it. How about... 150 bits for the both the steaks, but you do me a favour too..."
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 >You leave the back alley with a delighted Barb in tow. She's in high spirits, and even insisted on carrying the wrapped, bagged steaks. Occasionally she sneaks a sniff of them through the bag when she thinks you're not looking
 >"Cheer up! You saved like, 450 bits, and all you had to do was sign up for a newsletter!"
 It's not just a newsletter Barb, it represents my integrity, my honour. I feel violated.
 >Barb laughs
 >"As if your integrity is worth 450 bits"
 >She seems to have perked up a bit
 Why were you so quite back there? It's not like you to take the back seat
 >Barb blushes
 >"I guess I was a bit nervous"
 >She looks up at you with her big eyes, a slight blush creeping across her face
 >"Thanks for letting me, you know... hold onto you"
 No worries.
 >You could have needled her for it, but you don't. You just enjoy the warm sun as you peruse the market, buying bits and pieces for your planned dinner.
 >Eventually, you get to the Apple's stall. Applejack brightens up when she spots you two, and greets you enthusiastically
 >"Well howdy, what can do fah you two today?"
 Well, we looking for a little drink. You have any of that strong stuff?
 >Fun fact: ponies are super light weights. Maybe it's because you're bigger, but you and Barb can drink any pony under the table. It takes about 4 cups of cider before they're staggering around, and you two are barely even buzzed
 >"Yeah" Barb chips in, "how about some of the scrumpy?"
 >Applejack grimaces slightly
 >"Now, how in the hay do you two drink this stuff? Even Mac can't take more 'n a couple a mouthfuls"
 >She pulls out a bottle of scrumpy from under the stand, and offers it over.
 >"That'll be 50 bits"
 >You feel your bit bag. You've got about 40 bits left. Time to initiate hardcore barter mode
 Oh,  Applejack,  I've only got 35! Please, please! You know me and Barb, we're good friends! Please, let it side, just this once?"
 >Applejack guffaws at your pitiful display
 >"Well, ok. But you have to do something for me too..."
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 >"Hey, hey anon"
 >You know what's coming, but try to ignore it as you leave the market, 5 bits to your name
 >"Remember when you said earlier that signing up to newsletters was about integrity and honour, and I said that yours wasn't worth 450 bits?"
 Yes Barb, yes I do remember that.
 >Barb chuckles
 >"Well, I think Applejack has a good sense of value. 15 bits is about what it's worth, I'd say"
 >Why do the apples even have a newsletter?
 >And why did you sign up for it to save 15 bits?
 Yeah, well, you called Twilight mum once, so ha.
 >"Oh, lighten up. We've got a great meal to look forward to. A nice, big, juicy steak" She gives the steaks a little shake and smiles at you
 >"Thanks for everything by the way, anon. I'll get you my share of the bits next time I'm round"
 Don't worry about it Barb. Getting to spend time with you is payment back enough
 >Barb blushes and looks away
 >"Thanks anon. It really means a lot to hear that"
 >The two of you walk in silence a while, enjoying each other's company. Soon you're outside of Ponyville, heading back to your humble abode.
 >You're walking past a small, sheltered pond when you both decide to sit down for a bit by the water and admire the clear blue sky
 >All the while, Barb keeps sneaking sideways glances at you, but you pretend not to notice
 >"Um, anon?"
 Yeah?
 >"Well. I just wanted to say that, with all this... I mean, all the time together, and..."
 >Your heart starts beating a little faster and your mouth feels dry
 >She peters out and looks straight at you
 >Slowly, she shuffles over until she's right next to you, and leans against you, eyes closed
 >You pull her into a loose embrace, and lean back on the short grass
 >You slowly stroke the spines down her back as you both lay there in silence, enjoy being close to each other
 >Her spiky things are surprisingly soft and smooth, and delightfully warm on your hands. Spiky things? Frills? You absentmindedly wonder what they're called
 Barb?
 >She opens her eyes, a contented smile on her face
 What are these things on your back called?
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 >A couple of hours later, the two of you are back at your house
 >You spent a long time chatting while you lounged by the pond, but eventually it was time to head off
 >Halfway back, Barb had wordlessly reached out and taken your hand, her smooth scales strangely soft against your skin
 >You weren't sure what to make of it all
 >And what was going to happen next?
 >You'd always enjoyed spending time with her, no one else was as quick with the comebacks and jabs
 >And it's not like she's not attractive, quite the opposite
 >She was a great person to boot, genuinely kind and caring
 >You'd had plenty of idle daydreams about her body and the things you would do to it. You'd be lying if you said you didn't want this
 >Whatever this was
 >Now that you were back home, you had a little time to kill before starting dinner
 >A deck of cards had been one of the first things you'd made when you arrived. Turns out the ponies only had a simplified version, which was no good for the kind of highbrow card games you liked to play
 Quick game of snap?
 >"Yeah, sure"
 >You played a few rounds, and thrashed her each time
 What's wrong? Can't keep up with the master?
 >"Nah, I thought I'd let you win. Your ego needs a boost"
 Big words from the person who's losing to the snap master
 >You were pretty much the snap master. Hooves and claws were no match for human superiority
 >Barb has been fidgeting the whole time, clearly distracted
 >You're not surprised, there's an elephant in the room that you need to discuss
 >You sigh and put down your cards. No time like the present
 So Barb...
 >She looks at you, uncertain about what you're going to say next
 About earlier. I'm happy that it happened, don't get me wrong. It just... seems a bit out of the blue
 >Barb thought carefully for a few moments, then opens her mouth to respond...
 
 
 
 >Be Barb
 >Girls night, Twilight and her friends are all round the library
 >Twilight's like an older sister to you, and you're close with all her friends, so you were always invited to this sort of thing
 >Just chillaxin' with your pals, what of it?
 >Half way through the night, the conversation turns to stallions
 >"No, no, no, the more super duper fun a stallion is, the more of a super duper coltfriend he'd make, duh!"
 >They're "discussing" (arguing) about what are the best qualities in a romantic interest
 >"Sorry darling, but I simply must disagree. I want a stallion who can sweep me off my hooves with a romantic gesture! He has to be able to show me how much I mean to him."
 >"Pfffft, who wants a lame stallion like that? I want a buckass stallion, and let's face it, he'd have to be to keep up with me!"
 >"C'mon girls, what you really want is a stallion who's intelligent. Someone smart, witty, someone who can stay up all night discussing politics or literature!"
 >This is met by a round of laughs, and Twilight harumphs in annoyance
 >A meek voice pipes up from the back of the room
 >"Um... I think I would like to meet a stallion who's hung like a manticore"
 >A stunned silence rules as everyone looks in shock at Fluttershy
 >You never knew she had it in her
 >Pun completely intended
 >"Um.... I mean... a stallion who's... um... nice?"
 >"I reckon tha most important thing is a stallion who's reliable an' honest."
 >"Yeah, you would, someone who's responsible and lame! I need someone who's radically awesome!"
 >And so on, until Twilight draws the attention to you
 >"What about you Barb? What do you think is the best feature in a stallion?"
 Well... why can't a stallion be all those things?
 >The girls all laugh
 >"Darling, if you're lucky you'll find one who is TWO of those things"
 >And the evening continued on
 >But it got you thinking about someone you knew who WAS all those things...
 
 
 
 >Be Anon again
 Whoa whoa whoa, hold on a minute. You're saying I'm the person you were thinking of?
 >Barb blushes but holds your gaze
 >"Well, yeah. I enjoy spending time with you, we always have fun. You've never stood me up or let me down in any way. Sure, we joke on, but you know when to take things seriously"
 Well yeah, but I don't think I agree with...
 >"Romantic? What do you call this? Organising a whole meal for me as a surprise? Going out of your way to save up just to treat me? Anon, I..."
 No, not that. I meant the other thing, the manticore thing
 >Barb chuckles
 >"The thing is anon, I want to spend my time with you. I want to be close to you, and it's only recently I've realised it"
 >Well damn. It was nice of her to say all this, even if you didn't agree with everything she was saying
 Well Barb, there's one important thing you forgot to mention
 >She looks at you curiously
 I'm also incredibly handsome. Who else do you know who can pull of a suit like this?
 >She chuckles
 >"Believe me, I'd love to pull that suit off"
 >You laugh, and it takes her a second to realise what she said. As soon as she does, she clamps a hand over her mouth, and looks mortified
 Well, nice thought, but we should probably wait until AFTER dinner
 >Time to be super cereal though
 Look Barb, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the same way about you. I've thought about you that way for a while now, but to know that you feel it too...
 >You look up in the middle of little speech to see her sporting a huge smile, eyes looking suspiciously moist
 >Fuck it, actions speak louder than words
 >You get up from you chair and pull her up, into a close embrace
 >You stay like that for a while, holding each other close, before she pulls away
 >You'd swear you see her wiping something from her eye
 Want a tissue there?
 >She playfully punches you on the arm
 >"C'mon, we've got some stakes to cook"
 >You gleefully rub your hands together
 Oh yes, let's get cooking...
 
 >Your kitchen is filled with the sizzling sound of steaks simmering away
 >Damn, you're good at alliteration
 >"Wait, was it cooked?"
 Nope, just a dress made out of raw meat. That was one of the weirder things she wore, but not by far
 >You're taking part in a cultural exchange, sharing deep parts of your cultural heritage
 And don't get me started on Miley Cyrus...
 >You're standing around in your kitchen, Barb chopping away at some veg while you season the steaks
 >She's wearing an apron, and it's clinging to her front, tight against her curves while she chops
 >Damn, it's hot in here
 So Barb, I'm guessing you won't know how you want your steak done?
 >"The... usual way?" she replies uncertainly
 >Figures she'd have no idea about how well done she'd want it. You figured you'd do it medium for her
 >You like rare yourself, you find the juices make the whole thing much more tender, but to someone not used to meat, you're worried it may be a little overwhelming
 >You explain all this to her as you cook, glancing over to subtly check her out
 >You wonder if she's trying to be sexy, because that apron is doing something for you
 >Your eyes trace the curve of the back of her slender legs, up her thighs to her rounded behind
 >You explain to her what you're doing as you cook, how you're seasoning the steaks with pepper and even the whole rare vs well done spectrum
 >You may not be good at much, but you realised quite earlier on in life that the ability to throw a load of shit in a pot together and have it come out NOT tasting of arse was a valuable life skill
 Fancy a drink?
 >"Yeah, I could go for a scrumpy if you wanted some?"
 >Equestrian scrumpy has, as far as you know, no analogue on Earth. It was like wine made from apples, though slightly more alcoholic
 >You enjoy a few sips while finishing up the steaks, and before long Barb is setting the table while you dish the food up
 >You set the plates down, and Barb is staring straight at the steak, cutlery in hand. You're surprised she's not drooling
 Dig in.
 
 >"This is SO good"
 Yeah, this is pretty intense for a first time
 >"I can't believe I've been missing out on this my whole life"
 >Barb is enjoying her steak a lot. Also, kek, innuendos ahoy
 >You're enjoying it a lot yourself. You only eat meat rarely, usually just chicken or rabbit. You can't remember the last time you had steak
 >You drink and eat, making small talk, in no hurry to finish. By now, you've both on your second glass of scrumpy and about halfway through your meals
 >Your steak is deliciously juicy, it's so tender it practically melts in your mouth. You see Barb eyeing up your thick meat
 >"Hey, anon? Mind if I try some of your rare steak? I want to know what it tastes like", she leans forward with a hungry look in her eye
 Sure, help yourself to a bit, see what you think
 >"Cut me some?"
 >You cut into the juicy meat, separating a sizable piece for her to enjoy, and lean back, waiting for her to take it
 >"Anon... could you feed me?"
 >You spear the piece with your fork and raise it up to her lips
 >She closes her eyes as you press it against them, and offers the slightest resistance before taking it into her mouth and slowly pulling back, taking it off the fork
 >She almost moans at the intense taste, and a rivulet of juice runs out of her mouth and down to her chin
 >You reach for a napkin to clean her face
 >Barb opens her eyes, and gazes at you
 >Her tongue slips between her lips and follows the thick fluid before you even raise your serviette
 > Her tongue just keeps coming, reaching all the way to underneath her chin, and she leisurely flicks it back and forth across her chin, getting every drop of the delicious juice
 >Suddenly all at once, her tongue slips back into her mouth
 >You're surprised you're still conscious, what with all the blood rushing into your throbbing boner
 >"What's wrong anon? Did that make you uncomfortable?" she playfully asks
 >You take a strong sip of scrumpy. This evening is going a lot better than you thought it would...
 
 >Dinner was over
 >It went by pretty normally after Barb's display, but there was a definite tension in the air as you struggled to get that long tongue off your mind
 >Celestia's sun was setting as you moved from the dining area to the comfortable sofa you had by the fire
 >You were halfway through the scrumpy, and feeling pleasantly buzzed
 >Barb was feeling it too by the look of it. She kept eying you up, taking in your whole body, eyes lingering over your groin for a moment before moving on
 >"It was so thick and juicy... I can't wait to try it again. What are other meats like?"
 >Barb was snuggled up against you on the sofa, the two of you in front of a roaring fire, though you wouldn't be surprised if there was more heat coming off her body than the fire
 > She wasn't hot, more like... intensely warm if that made sense. It didn't, but not much does after you've been on the scrumpy
 Well..one of my favourite meals was baby back ribs: pig ribs cooked in a BBQ sauce. Damn messy to eat, but pulling the pork off the bone just adds to the flavour
 >You'd swear she shuddered slightly as you said that
 >Minutes tick by, and you two hold each other tightly, basking in the warmth of your bodies and the alcohol
 >"Anon?" Barb lazily opens her eyes to gaze at you "What would you say if I said I wanted to stay the night?"
 >HOLYSHIT
 Well...
 >IT'S HAPPENING
 >Hold it together anon, time to lay on the charm
 ...I'd say that there's only one bed, so we'd have to share
 >"Oh, that's a shame" Barb said in a tone that told you she didn't think it was a shame at all
 >"Do you have any paper?"
 ... paper?
 >Before you can say anything else, Barb has looked over to your brand new "antique" rug
 >"Never mind, I can work with this..."
 >Barb gets to her feet and steps toward your blazing fire
 >You start in alarm as she reaches in and grabs a small log, half of it on fire
 >She smiles at you, as she puts the end into her mouth, extinguishing the flame
 >You look at her, transfixed, as she moves towards the rug...
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 >"Look anon, it'll be fine"
 >You pout
 >"Twilight can magic the ash out, and the sending process doesn't damage it"
 It really held the room together Barb, why couldn't you just use paper?
 >Barb looked a bit guilty
 >"I had to let  Twilight know I wouldn't be coming back tonight..."
 And you decided that writing a message in ash on my rug was the best way to do that? That rug cost me 50 bits!
 >You slump in the sofa. Barb chuckles, before walking over slowly, putting a little extra sway into her hips as she stalks toward you
 >"But anon... if I didn't do it, Twilight might have come over to try to find me..."
 >She's walked around the front of the sofa now, and is still coming toward you
 >She stops in front of you, and steps up onto the sofa, before lowering herself down so she straddles you
 >You just stare up at her as she leans in to whisper into your ear, her hands either side of your head
 >"This way, we know we have the whole night together..."
 >Her breath is warm in your ear, sending shivers down your neck
 Well... it was a bit threadbare...
 >"Let me make it up to you Anon," she whispers before pulling her head back to look you in the eye
 >Her weight on your groin is making you VERY aware of anon jr as she gazes into your eyes, before she slowly closing her eyes and brings her lips to yours
 >The crackle of the fire is the only noise as she opens her mouth and lets your tongue in
 >You feel her tongue moving against yours, impossibly long, impossibly dextrous as it coils and writhes against yours
 >Her mouth is warm, with an almost imperceptibly spicy taste to it
 >The movement of your tongues speeds as you explore each other's mouths, your heads twisting as you plumb every depth, find every nook
 >As soon as they reach a crescendo of movement, they slow again, until Barb slowly pulls away from you, her eyes lazily opening
 >You gaze into her eyes in the intimate, flickering firelight.
 Ok, fuck the rug.
 >She smiles tenderly as she pulls you in for a second kiss...
 >You lose track of time as you spend it locked in each other's embrace, passionately kissing
 >Soon, you're exploring her body with your hands, feeling the smooth texture of the spines down her back, which now stand erect, displaying a much darker green
 >She moans with pleasure as you stoke down the biggest spine, on top of her head.
 >Running your finger down the edge elicits a shudder of delight from her, and she redoubles her oral assault
 >Your hands are moving almost on their own, feeling her perfect curves, savouring the hear pouring off her body as she lustily runs her hands down your chest
 >She breaks away from the kiss, and leans back, still straddling you
 >"I want to feel your skin against me anon" she practically pants as she starts unbuttoning your shirt
 >Your hand find some of the smaller spines at the base of her back, where her tail starts. They're softer, and give under your probing hands
 >Barb clenches her eyes and stifles a moan as you play with her frills
 >She gives up on opening your shirt and tears it open, but you're too turned on to care
 >You wriggle out of your jacket and shirt, and before you know it, Barb's hands are running up and down your bare chest
 >Her claws are hard and cold, a delightful contrast to her soft, warm palms as her hands drag up and down your body
 >Each claw is a point of sensation exploring your chest as she pulls in for another kiss
 >You move your hands around her tail to feel its underside, the scales here almost as soft as skin
 >She pulls you close as your fingers slip under her tail, searching for her slit
 >Your exploring digits are met with a strange lump where you expected to find wet poon
 >You guess this is what dragons have. Holy shit, you're actually about to finger a dragon
 >Judging by her reactions this is where the treasure is buried
 >You push gently against the lump, caressing it, and before long are rewarded by an opening down the middle
 >Barb moans as you prepare to push your fingers into her
 >Your finger slips in after a moment of resistance, and she arches her back in pleasure, scaly chest sliding against yours as she writhes in ecstasy
 >The inside of her dragon-lump thing feels much more like what you were expecting, you guess it must be some kind of covering for her real pussy
 >Every inch of Barb is radiating an intense heat, you can feel it flowing from her chest into yours. Between her legs is almost like a furnace
 >Your fingers slowly caress Barb's insides while your mouths lock for another fiery kiss
 >Her slit is wet, but it's an oily, slick wetness. Your fingers tingle pleasantly from the strange fluid as you begin to stroke and massage her REAL entrance
 >She pulls herself up close to you, clawed hands holding your back tightly
 >"I want you IN me" she huskily moans, and you waste no time in obeying, your forefinger slipping inside her easily
 >Her claws tighten against your back as you slowly begin working your finger in and out, using your other ones to stimulate the outside of her slit
 >Your other hand caresses her spines as she begins planting kisses on your neck, moans muffled against your sweaty skin
 >Your pace quickens as you delve deeper with your finger, and you soon add a second to the panting dragoness' flower
 >One clawed hand moves up to your hair, the other maintaining its vice-like grip on your back as Barb loses herself in her pleasure
 >You alternate your finger-fucking between slow, deep strokes and quicker, shallower ones
 >"Don't.... don't stop," Barb whimpers between moans, "I'm close"
 >Spurred on by her words, you quicken pace, going as deep and as fast as you can
 >Barb lets out a series of increasingly desperate moans, before reaching a crescendo as her claws clamp down on your back
 >Her pussy tightens around your slick fingers as Barb comes, an immense, exotic heat radiated from all over her body
 >You slow your pace as she releases her grip on your back, and slumps on top of you
 >"...Wow"
 >After a few minutes of holding one another close, she's regained her composure
 >"Anon, that was great..." Barb whispers, "But now it's your turn"
 >Before you can respond, she's slid down your body, and is kneeling on the floor in front of you, her head between your legs, level with your groin
 >She undoes your trousers with one claw, her eyes locked onto yours with a passionate gaze
 >Without breaking eye contact, she pulls your trousers down, and you lift your feet up as she removes them completely
 >She eyes your erect length, and wraps her hand around it, her hard claws surprisingly smooth, her soft palm delightfully warm on your throbbing erection
 >She begins moving her hand up and down, almost painfully slowly given how aroused you are
 >She watches you with a coy smile at your obvious impatience
 >She bows her head over your cock, mouth open as she moves her hand to the base, keeping it lined up
 >Her tongue darts out and begins caressing your tip, the heat and moisture adding to your mounting pleasure
 >After toying with the tip for a while, her long, prehensile tongue begins coiling down your shaft, reaching almost all the way to the base
 >She keeps it there for a moment, before pulling her whole tongue back, sliding it up your cock and back into her mouth, sending a shiver of sensation through your dick
 >Again she extends her tongue, coiling it round and round your member. The tip tickles you as it goes, before reaching the bottom
 >She holds it there again, before pulling it back
 >You moan in satisfaction, and close your eyes in anticipation of her next move
 >But it doesn't come
 >You open your eyes just in time to see her taking you into her mouth, and begin bobbing her head up and down with gusto
 >The heat from her mouth and added sensation of her tongue swirling around your tip brings you even closer
 Fuck, Barb, I'm going to come
 >She doubles her efforts, and you're soon at the tipping point, on the edge of ecstasy...
 >With a grunt, you spray the inside of Barb's mouth with your seed
 >She swallows, and looks up at you, lust in her eyes...
 >"I don't know about you anon, but I think I'm ready to take this to the bed"
 >You finish your scrumpy in one go and stand, a little unsteady from the alcohol and Barb's attentions
 >You reach down and take her hand in yours, gently pulling her to her feet
 >Her grip on your hand tightens as you lead her to the bedroom
 >You stop at the edge of the bed, and turn to face the dragoness
 >Her face is flushed a deep red, her breathing quick
 Listen Barb... are you sure you're ok with this? You really want...
 >She silences you with a deep kiss
 >That's all the confirmation you needed; commence operation "Dragon Dickan"
 >You pull Barb down onto the bed without breaking the kiss, and enjoy the alien sensation of her tongue in your mouth as she strokes your soft member
 >Your exploring hand makes its way to her slit while you rub her spines with the other
 >Her kissing becomes almost feverish in its intensity as you probe the dampness between her legs, slipping a finger into her
 >Her hand wraps around your hardening member as she works her hand up and down it, matching the pace of your fingers in her snatch
 >You pull away from her mouth, and begin kissing down to her neck, sucking and nibbling at it as she arches her back
 >While you're content for things to keep going the way they are, Barb has other ideas
 >She releases your now throbbing dick and rolls onto her back, facing you
 >The horny dragoness spreads her legs, revealing her slick pussy
 >"Fuck me anon"
 >You move onto Barb, your rod pressing against her opening as she wraps her arms around you, pulling you in close
 >You can feel the heat radiating from her pussy, her body betraying her burning desire for you
 >Taking your dick in hand, you rub it up and down her needy slit, eliciting a moan from her
 >After a few minutes of teasing, Barb's moans become desperate. It's getting too much for you too
 >You line yourself up with her sex
 >With a firm thrust, you enter the dragon
 >Barb throws her head back and screams in pleasure as your length enters her
 >You pause, worried you've hurt her or something
 You ok Barb?
 >She pulls you your body against hers, and needily whispers in your ear
 >"Don't stop"
 >You oblige, and begin gently thrusting into her
 >Barb writhes below you, lost in ecstasy
 >Damn, dragons must be extra sensitive or something
 >The heat coming off of Barb's body is nothing compared to the warmth within her
 >You dick feels like it might melt, the intense heat adding to the incredible pleasure of her tight walls clamping down on it
 >Your slow thrusts steadily push deeper into your lover, until each stroke buries your entire length in her
 >You feel something on you thigh, and look down to see Barb's tail coiling around it, her sleek scales rubbing against your leg
 >"Faster anon"
 >You up the pace, trying to find the perfect balance between speed and depth
 >The dragon pulls you in for a deep kiss, moaning into your mouth as she takes your raw length
 >Her sloppy kisses move to from your mouth to your neck, and she's soon sucking on it passionately
 >"Celestia, I love the feeling of you inside me"
 >Barb's hands are roaming across your back, feeling your shoulders as your hips pump into her
 >Suddenly, Barb grabs your wrists
 >With surprising strength, she rolls you over, straddling you
 Fuck Barb, that's good
 >She's riding you, tight body bouncing up and down on your cock
 >From this position, you have the perfect view of everything, from her pussy swallowing your cock to her sleek chest
 >You put your hands on her hips and bring yours up to meet them, sending a shudder of pleasure through her body
 >The heat in her pussy is growing as she begins to near her climax
 >Each of her breaths brings with it a needy, desperate moan, getting louder and louder as her hips move across your faster and faster
 >You can feel yourself getting close too as her sex clamps down tighter and tighter on your dick, her juices dripping onto your groin, spreading a warm tingling feel through your whole body
 >"Come on anon, finish in me, I'm so close"
 >Her words spur you on, and you take control again, sitting up, pushing Barb down onto her back and getting onto your knees between her legs
 >"Oh yes, that's it, oh, please"
 >You pound the dragoness as fast as you can, as desperate for her climax as your own
 >You sense her reaching the her limit as her pussy tightens
 >You pause for a second, before slamming your whole length into her at once, pushing her over the edge
 >Her quim quivers and ripples around your cock, the heat almost unbearable
 >The intense sensations push you over the edge, and after a few more thrusts, you plunge your cock into her and shoot your load deep inside
 >She shudders at the sensation, her eyes rolling back into her head as you collapse on top of her, completely spent
 >The two of you lie there for a while, enjoying the afterglow and sharing a level of intimacy you haven't felt since you arrived in Equestria
 >After a while, her breathing has settled enough for her to speak
 >"Anon, that was... that was perfect"
 >Hear that anon? You're apparently a pretty decent lover
 >notbad.jpg
 Thanks Barb, but you were... wow. I've never done that with a dragon before
 >"Well, I've never really done IT before..."
 >She looks into your eyes
 >"... I'm glad you were my first "
 >You don't know what to say to that, so you just pull her into a hug and tenderly kiss her forehead
 >A blush spreads across her face as she closes her eyes and leans into you
 >You move to pull out of her, but she stops you
 >"Let's just stay like this for a bit"
 >You stroke her head as the two of you drift off to a contented sleep, basking in one another's warmth
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 >You wake in the morning feeling a million bits
 >The cute, funny girl you've liked for a while confessed her feelings for you. Sort of
 >And then you had sex
 >Also you had steak
 >You stretch, and get out of bed carefully, trying not to disturb Barb
 >You slip into the kitchen and begin making breakfast
 >Scrambled egg on toast, with a nice glass of orange juice
 >Barb sits up in bed as your enter
 I got you some breakfast
 >She thanks you and you make small talk as you both dig into your breakfasts
 >After you've eaten, you decide now would be good time to have a serious chat
 >You sit cross-legged on the bed, facing her
 Listen Barb, about last night...
 >She looks at you anxiously
 I... I want us to be a thing, you know?
 >She nods and lets you continue
 Officially that is. I'm officially asking you if we can be a thing
 >She laughs
 >"Yeah, I kind of assumed we were after everything that happened last night"
 >You smile, happy knowing that you could still enjoy time together, but be even closer now
 You know it's funny Barb
 >"What is?"
 Well, yesterday, remember you'd never had meat before?
 >"I hope you're not going where I think you're going"
 ... where do you think this is going?
 >"Some stupid pun involving meat and sex"
 No, I was going to say...
 >Shit, she got you, think fast brain
 I was going to say that you called Twilight mum once
 >There's a soft thump as a pillow hits you straight in the face, and you hear a muffled laugh
 >You've got a good feeling about the future.
 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 So, you never did tell me what you thought of that steak
 >Barb's eyes half shut, and she grins at the memory of the meal
 >"It was delicious... I preferred it rare though... the blood... mmm"
 >Uh-huh, you're not sure if you should respond to that
 >"It did get me wondering though..."
 >She opens her eyes, and stares at you
 >"There are so many types of meat, I can't help but wonder what they taste like..."
 >Barb begins stalking toward you
 >"Pork..."
 Yeah, pork's good
 >Her smile widens, revealing her razor sharp teeth
 >"Chicken..."
 Uh-huh, very versatile meat, very nice
 >Ok, this is getting a bit weird, you start backing up
 >"Lamb..."
 I'm not... uh...  it's overrated I'd say
 >Her gaze seems predatory as she continues her advance
 >"Monkey..."
 >Her forked tongue flickers across her bared teeth
 That's not a... I don't really think people eat that, you know?
 >Shit, what's she doing?
 >You go to take another step back, and bump into the wall
 >Barb is right on you now, pinning you to the wall
 >She leans right into your ear, and says, in a whisper
 >"Human."
 >OH SHIT THIS IS IT YOU GONNA GET ET
 >You look around for a way out, but she's right on you
 Uh, I just need to go for a quick... to see... you know, Rarity so...
 >Barb begins shaking
 >Suddenly she bursts out laughing
 >"The look on your face anon! Did you honestly think I was going to eat you?!"
 >You absolutely thought she was going to eat you
 Haha, no way! I was just, you know, just playing along!
 >"No way, you were genuinely scared! This is great, I'm gonna tell ALL the girls about this!"
 >Shit, time for some good old fashioned anon wit
 Well, at least I've never called Twilight mum before
 >BOOYAH!
 >Barb laughs, then looks you in the eye, a light blush on her face
 >"I've already had a taste of human"
 >You like where this might be going
 >"And you know what? I think I'd quite like another" she says, as she rubs at your groin and leans in for a kiss...