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>Have a Kikimora maid
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>If you are injured, you proclaim "Blood for the blood god!" and refuse to allow her to treat you
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>Eventually get her doing it
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>Get a second Kikimora
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>The first one indoctrinates the new one the same way you taught her
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>Get more Kikimoras
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>The process repeats until you have a dozen Kikimoras who are now a bonafide Khornate cult despite Warhammer still being just a game
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>Wake up one morning and there's a throne made of skulls at the table in the dining room in place of your usual chair
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>They won't answer your questions as to where the chair came from or if those are real skulls
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>They all also carry bladed weapons, usually strapped to their thighs, at all times
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>They use them for everything and occasionally end up in minor scuffles that you should probably just call knife fights, though fortunately no one is ever seriously injured
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>You think you've created a monster that has gone way too far out of your control
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>They got into a scuffle with each other when they went grocery shopping with you once and now you need to go to the grocery store the next town over
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>One of them got tazed and was still gurgling out "blood for the blood god" as 50,000 volts ran through her body
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>Shopping again with your Khornate Kikimoras
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>You paid Rebecca's bail, she has a court date in three months for illegal brandishing of a weapon
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>Every morning they insist you sit on that creepy skull chair
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>They still won't tell you if the skulls are real or not
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>You've figured out that you are apparently the blood god
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>You've also learned the reason for their constant scuffles
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>You never assigned them positions or titles, so there's no official head maid
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>It seems they didn't get the memo, and they fight for the position of head maid
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>The current seat holder is the only one with the right to, ahem, "receive the blood god's gift"
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>Sex, they mean sex
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>Specifically hoping to be impregnated
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>Apparently the ones who get pregnant will be known as "the blood god's chosen" and be exempt from the pecking order until they give birth and have to fight for position again
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>You're ready to admit that you've completely lost control of the situation
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>Especially after they ganged up on an Oni and really did a number on her for the egregious offense of looking at you for too long
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>Your Khornate Kikimoras are beginning to scare you
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>They carry vials of blood hanging from a necklace around their necks
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>They insist it's your blood, so that they can "always feel the blood god's essence" close to them
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>You forced one to hand the vial over and sent it off for testing and it was, indeed, your blood
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>You have no wounds anywhere on your body that you can find
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>This is vexing
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>And a little terrifying
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>4 of them are pregnant now though, so at least the number of blood and baby crazy, hyper aggressive Kikimoras has, temporarily, been reduced by a third
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>It's your birthday
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>Your Khornate Kikimoras have thrown you a surprisingly normal little party
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>They bring out the cake, and it's pink
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>Not really pink, more of an amaranth
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>Kind of weird, but there's no fucking skulls or anything on it so it's fine
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>You cut the cake and distribute the slices
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>They wolf their pieces down and look at you expectantly
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>You take a bite, tastes good
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>Has a slight flavor of something you can't quite place though
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>You ask and they tell you it's a secret ingredient
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>You're getting a little suspicious, and your suspicions are confirmed when Cassandra reaches to get you a napkin
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>Bandages
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>You tell them all to roll up their sleeves
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>Every single one of them has a bandage on their wrist
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>Oh god
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>You put the plate down and they're on you immediately
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>They pin you down in the chair, one of them holds your nose to force your mouth open and they start force feeding you the blood cake
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>They start chanting "Blood for the blood god" over and over as they do
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>You have reached a new level of concern
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>9 of the Khornate Kikimoras are pregnant now
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>The remaining 3 are desperate
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>The scuffles you thought were violent before have taken a step up in frequency and intensity
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>You spend a good portion of your day now treating cuts, bruises and the occasional dislocated joint
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>There's been 2 stab wounds as well
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>To be quite honest, you're just waiting for the night they finally snap and attack you as a group
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>They were so engrossed in a fight earlier that they didn't even pay attention when you said you were leaving
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>You were gone for about two hours, and when you came back you had some trash to throw out
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>You opened the lid of the trash can and sitting right there was 3 empty boxes of fertility drugs
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>"Oh god, thi-"
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>You don't even have time to finish your thought as you're yanked off your feet and slammed to the ground before a few of the pregnant ones hold you down
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>The three remaining non-pregnant ones are there too, holding knives
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>If you were still wearing pants, you'd be shitting them right now
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>Your fear that they'd harm you is lessened though, since all they do is slash both of their palms and put the knives down
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>That lessening fear turns into a growing fearboner though when they start smearing their blood all over you
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>"We bring offerings for the blood god, please grant us your blessing!" they plead in unison
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>You lose consciousness around hour 4
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>You wake up in your bed, with all 12 of them making sure that at least some part of their body is contacting some part of yours
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>It seems they cleaned up, but you still feel like you need a shower
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>After they basically raped you, all of your Khornate Kikimoras are now pregnant
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>A couple of them look like they're ready to pop at any moment
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>Normally they wake you up at 6 in the morning on the dot, but today you awoke on your own at about 9:30
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>Concerned, you searched around for them and found noises coming from the basement
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>You walk down the stairs and find that they'd managed to build a fenced in fighting pit
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>In the pit are two Kikimoras you don't recognize, and they both look terrified
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>They also both have their hands duct taped into a grip on a knife so that they can't let it go
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>One of them is dressed like a police officer
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>Oh Jesus please be a costume
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>"The Master has finally come!" you hear, and as you look to your left, you see a badge and a belt, with a gun in its holster, sitting on a chair
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>Oh fuck it's not a costume
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>What have you girls done?
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>"Master, it's been too long, we can't offer you blood right now so we found more followers for you who could"
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>They're really proud of themselves, it seems
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>When did they find time for all of this? Wait, when was the last time you were even down here?
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>It doesn't matter, you need to stop this right now
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>You shout at them and demand they stop that fight
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>It seems they misunderstand, they expect you to pick one of the two in the cage to name as your new champion
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>The police officer is in the worst shape, so you attend to her first
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>She's been stabbed twice but it doesn't really seem to register
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>She's kind of in a haze
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>Two of your Kikimoras drag the other one away and they're gone before you can stop them
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>Once you're finished treating the worst of the police officer's wounds, your Kikimoras surround you and end up crowding you out, forming a tight, layered circle around her
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>"The Master has chosen you" they tell her
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>"M-Master?"
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>"Yes, our Master. Your Master"
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>"M-my Master? Master... Master!"
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>Are they all this susceptible to influence? Holy shit
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>You're sure you'll be going to jail, so you trudge off to get ready for the police to kick down your door
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>A few hours later your Kikimoras are back and acting like nothing happened
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>They won't answer any questions
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>This goes on for three days, and on the fourth day the police officer Kikimora shows back up... with all of her stuff in bags
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>They hold a celebration to welcome "the new follower of the blood god"
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>She's decided to keep her job as a police officer, claiming she can use it as a cover to "better find initiates to present to the Master"
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>This better not become a regular thing
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>Two of your Khornate Kikimoras have given birth
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>Both children have red feathers/hair
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>All 13 of them took this as a sign that they've been blessed, and the newest of the bunch used it as an excuse to ramp up her efforts to get pregnant as well
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>You tried to explain to them that while not common, recessive genes can show in multiple children
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>Your father was the son of Irish immigrants, after all
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>They dismissed that almost before you were even finished telling them
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>Also, as she said she would, the police officer has started bringing suspects she's arrested to your home first, where they all make them fight like she was made to fight
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>All different kinds of monster girls, and even the rare human
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>Fortunately, none of them seem as easily influenced as Kikimoras do
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>Unfortunately, there's now a growing number of people with knowledge of a corrupt cop dragging suspects into a basement where 13 Kikimoras and a guy in a chair watch them fight each other with weapons
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>At this point, you're in so deep that if this ever comes crashing down on your head you'll probably never see the light of day again
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>4 more of your Khornate Kikimoras have given birth
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>Like the first two, all of them gave birth to red haired/feathered children
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>It's forced you to question whether it's really just a coincidence
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>The police officer is pregnant now too
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>She's also still dragging suspects down to your basement to make them fight
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>How this hasn't blown up yet, you have no idea
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>Something of greater concern, however, is that the fights between themselves have stopped entirely, even among the ones that aren't pregnant anymore
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>Instead, they just all get together and cut their hands in a way that you could only consider ritual like
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>Then they take those bloody palms and they paint you from head to toe with them
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>Then they take turns liking it all off, and forcing you to lick some of it too
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>They seem to have some kind of idea that since you've gotten them all pregnant, that means they've "ascended" and no longer have to jockey for position as head maid
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>Technically, if you want to go by strict monster definition, they're all considered your wives
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>So they're not necessarily wrong, they're just right for the wrong reasons
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>The police officer has been fired after she attacked her supervisor
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>She was called into a meeting to discuss her increasingly aggressive behavior on the job
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>She responded by asking the poor Anubis if she'd like to offer blood for the master before sucker punching her in the nose
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>The silver lining is that the department chalked it up to pregnancy hormones and her activities prior, or rather her kidnappings, went entirely under the radar
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>The bad news is that now she's home all the time, and maybe it's the police training mixed with the crazy ideology in her head, but she's easily the most aggressive of the group
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>And now she's around
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>All the time
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>And it's affected the other girls, too
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>She picks fights constantly, not even to jockey for position but simply because it's been too long since she's hit someone
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>It's made the rest more violent in turn
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>Which sucks because they were finally starting to dial back on the crazy a tiny bit since all of their attention was focused on child rearing
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>You desperately hope that your daughters don't take after their mothers
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>All of your Khornate maids, as well as your former police officer turned Khornate freeloader have given birth
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>All 14 children (Carla had twins) have red hair/feathers
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>The strangest thing has happened, though
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>You woke up one morning and they were all normal, back to how you'd expect a Kikimora to be
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>They don't even seem to remember any of the crazy things they've done
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>That is, until today
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>You heard a loud thump and then crying coming from your daughters' room
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>You jumped up and sprinted to make sure they were okay, and on your way there you jammed your foot into a door frame
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>You were so concerned that one of your girls was hurt that you didn't even notice what had happened to you at first
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>You broke two toes, badly
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>Very badly
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>Bone jutting through the skin badly
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>Your maids were right behind you to check on what had happened
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>It turned out that they were fine, a picture frame fell off the wall and the noise it made when it hit the ground had scared the children
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>But when you turned to your maids, they were just staring at your foot with glazed looks on their faces
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>The former police officer was last into the room
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>"Hey I heard a noise, what happened? Is everythi- blood"
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>"Blood" the rest repeated
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>"Blood! Blood! Blood for the blood god!"
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>Oh god, they're back
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>Please take me to the hospital
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>Please take me to the hospital
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>It's been several years now, their insanity has become routine
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>Your Khornate Kikimoras still leave you greatly unsettled more often than not, but it's become so routine that you feel like you'd almost be lost without them
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>Your daughters, on the other hand...
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>You daughters brought you good news and bad news
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>The bad news is that they're just as batshit as their mothers
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>The good news is that they better understand both the how and the why of keeping that behavior concealed in public
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>Mostly
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>Which is why you spent today sitting in the principal's office at the school they attend
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>They had attempted to collectively scalp a boy
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>Their reasoning was that one of them liked him, so they wanted to take a trophy and present it to you so that you could decide if he was worthy or not
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>To be honest, it made you really happy that they wanted your approval in regards to boys
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>You just wish they went about it a little more subtly
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>Fortunately, you were able to convince the principal that it was monsters being monsters, which means you managed to avoid a visit from child services
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>Raising kids is hard