View difference between Paste ID: 5sf3t9Up and zCJUdMNM

 >"But Anon! How in Equestria do you sleep at night!"
 >You sigh heavily and cup your face in your hands.
 >Irritation is practically dripping from your next words.
 "I don't KNOW, Twilight. On my side, alright? Just DROP it."
 >The purple unicorn is unperturbed, merely rolling her eyes at you.
 >"Anon, please. I grew up with a brother; I'm no stranger to tantrums. It's going to take a l-"
 "It isn't a tantrum, dammit!"
 >You finish off by stomping your foot down like a mature adult.
 "You've been repeating the same goddamn thing for what feels like hours."
 >You being to tick points off your fingers.
 "Yes, I sleep alone. Yes, I leave my house without protection. Yes, I have a job. Yes, I-"
 >"You had a job?!"
 >Twilight trots in place, looking properly distressed.
 >"Anon! Oh goodness, I'm so sorry!"
 >She tries to hug you, but you push her away.
 >"No WONDER you're even more emotionally-unstable than most colts are; you've been forced to work for a living!"
 >Emotionally-unstable? Twilight, you are on the right path for a big fucking slap, pretty soon.
 >You kneel down to her level so that you're face-to-weird-horse-face with her.
 "Of course I had a job back on Earth, Twilight. How else was I supposed to support myself?"
 >All of the sudden, Twilight cups your cheeks with her hooves.
 >When she speaks, it's in this really dramatic-sounding whispering.
 >"Who did this to you, Anon?"
 >She pulls you closer to her so that she can look you in the eyes.
 >"Who hurt you?"
 >Fuck this mess.
 >You stand back up and watch Twilight eat shit in front of you.
 "Twilight, this is dumb. Stop getting worked up over dumb things."
 >You reach down and pick this pone up by her armpits and sling her over one of your shoulders.
 "C'mon. Let's go get lunch; my treat."
 >"Anon, no! Please put me down!"
 "Nope."
 >You are enjoying this whole experience WAY more than you should be.
 >Twilight's kicking her widdle hoofsies at you, trying her hardest to get free without using her magic on you.
 >"Please, Anon! I.... I want to get down now. All the ponies are staring!"
 >You give her rump a light pat and she squeaks in protest."
 "Settle down, Twilight. We're only a few blocks away from the eatery, alright?"
 >You jostle her a bit with your shoulder playfully.
 "Look at it this way, Twilight. I'm giving you a free ride all the way there."
 >You turn a corner and nearly bump into a mare, who stares at you with wide eyes.
 >You nod at her politely and continue on her way.
 >"Anon, please put me down. That mare... a lot of ponies are sending me dirty looks. I don't li-OW!"
 >You whip around when you feel your riding partner get a thump on the head, and are met with the sight of an angry old stallion.
 >>"Git offa him! Git yer fat flanks offa tha' poor colt, mare!"
 >He aims to swing his cane at Twilight again, but you block it with your arm.
 "What the hell is your problem, old man?! Get out of here!"
 >You don't shove him (god, what kind of person do you think you are?); you just turn around and start to jog over to the eatery.
 >When you're safely out of reach of the old bastard, you place Twilight on the ground again.
 "Are you alright, Twilight? Did he hit you too hard?"
 >Twilight blushes, but brushes off your concern.
 >"D-don't worry about me, Anon. It'll take more than a little old stallion to hurt me. Now."
 >She tugs at the collar of your shirt.
 >"Let me take a look at that shoulder. You probably aren't used to carrying very much weight, so you might be bruising from carrying me for all this time."
 >...You would object, but you DO bruise like a peach.
 >"Well, I can't see any crushed blood vessels, so you should be fine."
 >She kisses your supposed boo-boo and then buttons up your shirt for you.
 >You want to be irritated with her, but that whole scene was just so goddamn adorable.
 >You wrap her up in a quick hug, cupping the back of her head and pulling her to your chest.
 "Thank you, Twilight. That was very thoughtful."
 >"Y-you too..."
 >You separate, and it isn't long before you reach your favourite restaurant: "The Cleaving Testicle"
 >It's emblem is a pair of horse-balls held tight in a bra.
 >It's the weirdest fucking place in town, but they make the most AMAZING sandwiches.
 >You reach the door before Twilight does, but she quickly trots up in front of you, squeezing herself between the door and your legs.
 >She magicks the door open and tries to gesture inside with one hoof.
 >"Stallions first."
 >What a polite weirdo.
 >You reward her with a scritch behind the ears, and you watch in enjoyment as her eyes glaze over.
 >You walk up to a booth where a rather bored looking mare sits waiting for you.
 >>"Maredam; sir; table for two?"
 "Yu-"
 >"That's right!"
 >Twilight shouts a little louder than is really necessary, and a few heads turn.
 >"A-and we'd like a window seat, please."
 >The mare hops off her widdle stool and walks down a nearby isle.
 >>"Right is way, please."
 >The two of you are led over to a booth in the corner.
 >It comes complete with the cushy chair-cushion thingies that ponies sit on, and also two broad, pane-glass windows.
 >In short, it's the best of both worlds.
 >The server-mare from before deposits a menu in front of Twilight and says that she'll be back soon to take their order.
 >...Twilight sure is taking an awful long time with the menu.
 "Twi, can I get a look at that when you're done?"
 >"Hmm? Oh; no, Anon. You just tell me what kind of food you want and I'll find it in here for you."
 >You have no idea why Twilight's being this difficult.
 "...or, I could take a look in the menu myself and decide what to eat."
 >Twilight giggles and puts the menu down, keeping it out of reach of your long fingers.
 >"Don't be silly, Anon. I know you're probably good in the kitchen, but the last thing you need after a day like today is to stress your little head over all the different things you can order."
 >She opens the menu to a random page; it's sandwiches.
 >"Now, what do you want to eat, Anon?"
 >As dumb as this is, you don't want to make a scene.
 >The server-mare starts to approach you, and you begin to panic a little bit.
 "Just... are we really going to do this?"
 >Twilight doesn't answer you; she just looks through the different cheeses available.
 >Fuck it, whatever.
 "....I'll take the pulled-hay sandwich without the hay, and-"
 >"He'll take the pulled-hay sandwich without the hay, please."
 >The server-mare nods and writes it down.
 >The fuck was that?
 "....and a side of the salad-of-the-day with extra dressing."
 >"And a side of the salad-of-the-day, regular dressing."
 >Twilight glances at you before going back to the menu.
 >"No extra dressing for you today, Anon. You'll ruin your figure."
 >Well, fuck you too, purple horse.
 >This coming from the mare with one of the most jiggly, slap-able asses around town.
 >Mmph!
 >You turn to the server and wave a hand to grab her attention.
 "Add on that extra dressing, please."
 >She shakes her head.
 >>"Sorry, sir. I can't change or add onto an order without your mare's permission."
 >.......
 >There are so many things wrong with that one sentence that you don't know where to begin.
 >The server-mare just goes on to address Twilight.
 >>"And what would you like to eat today, maredam?"
 >"I'll have two hay-burgers and three orders of horseshoe fries."
 >>"Will that be everything?"
 >Twilight nods and the server-mare walks off.
 >There's a brief silence as the two of you enjoy each other's company.
 >For a sexist pony, Twilight's actually pretty nice.
 >It's more of a 'delightfully eccentric' kind of sexism.
 >Like, she's worried for your safety more than she's out to take your monkey dick by force.
 "So, what was THAT all about? Why didn't you let me order my own stuff?"
 >"Oh, Anon~"
 >Twilight giggles and lays a hoof on one of your hands.
 >"I know you've gotten some strange ideas in your head from when some.... DEGENERATE allowed a delicate colt like you to work for a living, but you don't have to pretend any more."
 "...what am I pretending?"
 >Twilight sighs and looks at you with pity.
 >"You don't have to hide the hurt any more, Anon. You conceal it well, but I can see it in your eyes, how desperately you're trying to hold it together. I can't even begin to understand the hardships you've been through, but it's over now. I'm here for you."
 >........
 >Wow.
 >You and Twilight are going to have a LONG talk after lunch, when you get back home.
 "That's... incredibly sweet of you, Twilight. I... you're a very selfless mare."
 >Twilight seems oblivious to your discomfort.
 "But seeing as how I'm paying for our meals, I would have liked to get a good look at the menu."
 >Not that you don't already know it by heart, but it's the principle of the matter.
 >Twilight gives you the same look she gave you when you told her that you had a job back on Earth.
 >"They made you pay for your own meals, too?!"
 >Twilight scrambles over to your side of the booth and hops on your lap.
 >She pulls you into a tight hug and gently strokes the back of your head.
 >"Ohh, Anonymous! It's okay, foal; Twilight's here now. She won't let anything bad happen to you from now on."
 >Fuck this day and everything about it.
 >For the sake of conversation, you tell Twilight about your job back on Earth.
 >If she weren't so busy stuffing her face like the deliciously fat-ass that she is, she'd probably be making better conversation than she is right now.
 >"An'n! Tha's ter'ble!"
 >She manages to spray you with her current mouthful of hayburger, and you pretend not to nice it.
 >>"Excuse me."
 >You look behind you to see a group of concerned mares eating in the booth that's besides your own.
 >>"Did you just say that your herd FORCED you to work all day? And that you had to pay the bills AND for the food?"
 "That-"
 >"Not even a herd!"
 >Fuck's sake.
 >Twilight jumps out of her seat and sits down next to you, facing the other mares.
 >"He lived all by himself and he had no other choice!"
 >The mares behind you make various noises of outrage, and you just cover your face in embarrassment.
 >>"This is an outrage! I... we... Ugh!"
 >The mare from the other booth (we'll call her "Debra" for the sake of clarity) hops over the barrier between your booths and plops down next to you.
 >>"How did this happen, sweetie? Why didn't you go get help?"
 >Debra's tearing up at this point. Most of her friends aren't doing any better.
 >>"We would have helped you! Any of us; any decent mare would have accepted you with open hooves if you had just asked!"
 >This strange mare whom you've never met before gives up trying to hold herself back and collapses into your arms.
 >Another mare (let's say... Helga) pops over and gently pries Debra off of you.
 >>>"I'm really sorry about my friend, sir. She's a bit... you know..."
 >Helga whistles a bit and rolls her eyes.
 >You don't know what she means.
 >Suddently, Debra breaks free from Helga's grip and launches herself at you!
 >>"Who did this?! Where is she?!"
 >You're getting stares from the other ponies around you.
 >That's when Debra is flung off of you in a burst of purple magic.
 >"That's enough! Give him some space; you're going to overwhelm him! Do you want an emotionally-exhausted colt on our hooves?!"
->You turn around just in time to see Twilight toss some bits onto the table before she picks you up with her magic and sprints outside with you.
+>You turn around just in time to see Twilight toss some bits onto the table before she picks you up with her magic and sprints outside with you.