Anthro Shitposting

>Be Anon
>You had barricaded yourself in a room
>It was a small room, with no windows, a thick wooden door, and even thicker stone walls
>Before you had escaped in here, you had managed to grab what looked like and tasted like fruit bars
>You had no idea where you had gotten them, or how you had gotten so many of them
>You didn't even know where you were
>All you remember was panic, the desire to run, and those... things
>You had never seen anything like it
>It only came up to your chin
>It's proportions were human-like, with two arms and legs
>But the legs were wrong
>The legs and butt was bigger than a human's
>It also had no feet, but a pair of hooves, complete with horseshoes and everything
>It didn't have skin, but a thin coat of fur
>It's head was also off
>The same size as a normal person's, but angular
>It almost had a muzzle, but it was shorter than a dogs or a horses
>It did have honest to god horse ears
>And it's eyes...
>They weren't much bigger than yours, but big enough to be noticable, and a otherworldly color
>There was also something in them that made you freeze
>When it had turned toward you, staring you down with those eyes, and opening its mouth, you didn't start kicking ass and taking names like you had insisted during drunken nights with friends talking about alien kidnappings
>You had wanted to get away
>There was no fight, only flight
>This was too weird, too... alien
>You had bolted as it's musical, alien voice filled your ears
>You had been in this room for three days
>Some of the aliens had tried coming into the room
>For now, you had been able to keep them at bay with your barricade and your teeth that one time a four-fingered hand had tried to grab at your barricade
>You didn't know what to do
>They would break in eventually, and all you had to defend yourself with was a small, shitty broom

>The end comes soon
>We hear drums, drums in the deep
>They are coming

~_~_~_~_~

>Be Swiffer Duster, one of the maid's at Canterlot castle
>Out of the billions of mares alive today, you were the one to find a bonafide alien
>The big bucker popped right in front of you, and seeing you...
>Turned tail and ran like his mane was on fire and locked himself in a janitor's closet, refusing to come out or even eat
>Nopony knew WHERE he was going to the bathroom
>...
>The girls had been twisting your tits for the last few days and, if you were being honest, your feelings were kind of hurt
>For Celestia's sake, just because your mane was a little messy didn't mean it had to freak out!
>You'd bet a month's pay that bucking thing was a colt

~_~_~_~_~_~

>Twilight in your lap
>The alicorn's button-up shirt it partially open
>She doesn't wear a bra--nearly no mare does, unless their tits are huge and they need support--so her perky, handful-sized tits are out on display
>Her short shirt had ridden up her thick, powerful legs, revealing that she not only has no panties on, but you're buried to the hilt inside of her
>She grinds and wiggles, her marehood clenching your cock hard
>She's a small "pony"--all but Celestia and Luna are small, and even then the alicorns are shorter than you
>If it weren't for her big, soft ass, she'd fit in your lap quite comfortably
>As it was, her butt spilled over your legs just a bit
>You could feel the muscles in that ass tense and flex as she moved, along with the short, slightly coarse hairs that made up her coat
>Her wings were fully extended, wingtips brushing up against the ceiling as they quivered and tensed with each bout of pleasure
>You had your nose buried in the nape of the alicorn's neck as she groaned and squeaked, her hooves tapping against your legs
>She smelled different than a human woman did
>Her's was a sweet, lingering, musky smell
>When Twilight was doing something physical--or any pony for that matter-- that smell would be almost overpowering
>Right now it was just there; a pleasant perfume as you rubbed the tip of your nose against her fur
>Her mane was draped over the back of your neck and the side of your face as you nuzzled and gently bit
>The feeling of your teeth digging into her coat made Twilight tense every time, her musical, lovely moans rising in pitch
>Your hands were on her legs, playing with muscles that made the mare able to run and kick as fast and as hard as most of her kind could
>Currently, Twilight had one of your hands trapped between her thighs, holding it in place since her legs were sensitive when she was horny and she didn't want to cum super quickly

>Speaking of cum, the mare had thoroughly covered your legs, her whole lower body, and your poor chair in it
>From the was she was clutching at your cock, you were pretty sure she was going to make even more of a mess in a second
>You were getting pretty close yourself
>Reaching up with your free hand, you latched onto a tit
>Twilight's breathing hitched, her bright purple eyes growing huge
>Her moan grew into a shriek, which only grew louder as your pointer finger and thumb twisted her nipple

~_~_~_~_~_~

>tfw Fluttershy is one of the rare mares that need to wear a bra
>Her big enough that not wearing one will give her back issues
>This was the cause of a lot of teasing when she was younger
>Now though, with some help from her friends, she's become much more confident and comfortable with her breasts
>You've only helped in this
>Fluttershy loves it when you just press your face deep into her cleavage
>More often than not, she'll make a squeaking, squealing sound when your face presses into the patch of hair right above her chest
>Mares call it "tuft"
>You enjoy her tits though, sometimes spending the better part of an hour motorboating the mare
>Flutters, being flutters, would freak out and faint if you did anything too lewd, but she has been known to get heated
>When she sits in your lap--and she usually does because you're so much bigger than her--she might start grinding her hips until your dick is straining in your pants
>Once she did this when you were wearing nothing but a towel--ponies LOVED the feeling of your nearly hairless skin, so it wasn't unknown for them to jump you when you got out of the shower--and got to accidently hotdog your hard cock between her buttcheeks
>She couldn't look you in the eye for a week afterwards, but in the heat of the moment she was smiling ear to ear
>Her coat was softer than any pony you had ever touched
>Softer than even Rarity's, who took great length to make her coat like that
>She like liked to run her fingers through your hair, humming little tunes
>She also really liked it whenever you helped her preen her wings or gave her and Rarity massages
>She REAAAAAAAALLY liked the massages

>Dash is a head shorter than most of her friends, who are head and shoulders shorter than you
>This makes her furious; it has since she was little and will no doubt continue to do so until Twilight either makes her taller via magic or she kicks the bucket
>The pegasus has broken more than a few jaws of some teasing mares
>Rainbow, being a gentlemare at heart, never hits the stallions that tease her though
>You take this as a golden opportunity
>Rainbow can only grit her teeth as you manhandle her all over town
>In the middle of a conversation, you'll pick her up and place her on your shoulder
>When it's cold, you drape your coat over her, which is five sizes too big for the mare
>You even put some "you must be this tall" signs once
>Dash grumbles, but takes is good-naturedly, though that doesn't mean she doesn't give as good as she gets most of the time
>Her already tight shorts become so tight they may as well be a second skin
>Her hands wander, fondle, and grab
>You're even flashed her small but perky tits
>Of course she's fast enough that no one notices this
>Zecora is a little concerned when you buy a bunch of potions from her that can make a pony stretchy

~_~_~_~_~_~

>Rararara is the most polite out of the girls, and, oddly enough, the second tallest next to Twilight
>She insists that it's a unicorn thing
>What's definitely NOT unicorn about her is lower body
>The girl is stacked like an earth pony
>In terms of ass, she's almost as stacked as Applejack
>Not Pinkie Pie though, because making that comparison isn't far whatsoever
>She'd never admit it, but it's one of the reasons she started making clothing
>No other pony at her can make pants that fit her massive legs and butt comfortably
>The unicorn took an immediate interest in your "odd alien anatomy", as she put it
>Many a day were spend in her boutique as she measured pretty much every inch of your body
>She was always a complete gentlemare, and very gentle and slow
>You weren't nearly as tactful
>Rarity wasn't a stupid mare
>She knew you were eying her butt the second you stepped through her door
>She also knew how to woo a stallion, alien or not
>No one was surprised when the two of you started dating, especially since Rarity had started embroidering her cutiemark on all of your clothing
>Her favorite thing to do with you it lock the boutique doors and spend a whole day trying on her dresses for you
>Something which her friends make fun of her for--calling her a "dyke"--but something which you very much enjoyed
>You also enjoy having your face buried between her thick, perfect thighs
>Like a lot
>Rarity sometimes says that your face was born to be buried between a mare's legs
>The mare, unsurprisingly, a screamer in bed, and rougher than one would think
>She enjoys having her mane and tail pulled
>She also loves using her magic to make you immobile so she can have her way with you
>Anal is also a regular activity that she enjoys, though only after her pussy is stuffed with your cum



~_~_~_~_~_~_~


>Space
>The final frontier
>It was right out the window
>Blacker than anything you had ever seen
>Pluto stood out in this darkness, illuminated by the ship's thrusters and
>It wasn't blue, or covered in ice like you thought it'd be
>It was a dark brown color, nearly black
>If you squinted hard enough you swore you could see the surface of the not-planet
>Little mountains, deep valleys, shit like that
>Along with the blackness and Pluto, you could also see stars
>Millions of them, tiny and twinkling
>Like someone had poked holes in the darkness to reveal pure light
>You were Anon, and you weren't in your shitty hometown near Cleveland anymore
>A whistle came from beside you
>It was one of the other "guests" that had found himself on this adventure
>Incognito
>Like you, like the twenty-something other guys, Incognito had been taken from his home
>You had been fast asleep when it had happened
>For other guys, it had been different
>Incognito here had been on a run when he had been plucked off the street
>Another guy had said he was taken, bathtub and all, while he was cleaning himself
>Another had been in the middle of work
>You had even heard that a guy and his whole house was on one of the other ships
>The ones that had taken you, these "Equestrians", had four of them
>They were beyond massive
>Like large enough that it'd take two days to walk from one end of the ship to another
>It was some sci-fi, supernatural, magical, extraterrestrial shit
>Like well and truly above your understanding
>Speaking of alien, the ones that had kidnapped you--they were super apologetic about it, but it was still kidnapping--were pretty odd
>They didn't probe you, or do anything weird like that--much to one guy's disappointment
>All around they were pretty nice
>A bit weird-looking, and they had this freaky habit of breaking out into song and having heartfelt, kooky friendship-related lessons, but all around nice folk

>As an apology for stealing you, they even went and cured your asthma
>Like actually cured it somehow
>Touched a metal thing to your chest, your vision went fuzzy, and now you never needed to use an inhaler again
>To be fair, you did cry after you were told
>It was a lot to process in your defense
>Though, you weren't the lucky one
>Incognito had a bad liver and joints--fucking Pittsburgher and their shitty health--and now he was as healthy as can be
>Then there was Nameless, who no longer had pancreatic cancer and 20/20 vision
>All of the fellas had gotten the same you heard
>After all that, the least you could do was stay for a couple of days and let the aliens run some test on you all
>Some guys were cunts though, and demanded to be sent home
>They were, or at least you think they were
>They kind of stepped into a thing and disappeared
>The tests weren't anything too crazy
>You all got some blood work done, and got physicals
>There was some weight lifting and treadmill running too
>They had some shit attached to your head and chest too, "scanning"
>It never lasted too long, and the nurses were pretty nice
>Speaking of nurses, it was the weirdest thing on this ship
>From what you've been able to gather, nearly everyone you've met is female
>All wide hips, thick legs, tits of various sizes, female faces
>They might have looked like a hybrid of human and some donkey-dog-horse thing, but they were definitely female
>Hundreds of them
>You think the only one that kinda resembled a male was when Captain Sparkle invited you to the control room or whatever it was called
>The poop deck?
>The jock yard?
>Something like that...
>And not only did nearly all of them seem to be female, but they all seemed interested in you and the other humans
>They never did anything weird
>You couldn't help but notice that something was odd in the way they moved, spoke, and even looked at you
>Even the nurses, as professional as they were, acted a bit funny

>Still, all-in-all this was one hell of an adventure
>You'd probably tell your kids about this someday
"Pretty, huh?"
>Incognito grunted, leaning on the edge of the windowsill, his nose nearly touching the glass
>"It's a big rock," he said
"A big rock millions of miles away from Earth. Which we can see right in front of us," you corrected
>"Jupiter was neater," the shorter man countered. "That giant ring around it was sweet."
"It was," you agreed
>With that, you both lapsed into silence
>Incognito shifted his weight, brow furrowing
>"Were those Equestrians acting weird to you?" he asked
>You shrugged
"I didn't think so, why?"
>"You don't think it's weird the captain wants to speak with us?"
"Not really. She sees us pretty much everyday. She looked over Nameless the other day too."
>Incognito grunted again
>"I don't. Sometime smells fishy. The nurse's 'ave been acting weird for two days."
"I think you're just imagining things," you said, slapping him on the back.
>Incognito said nothing for a good minute
>"Why did the captain want to see us one-by-one then?" he asked
"No idea," you said. "Could be any number of reasons."
>Incognito made a face, opening his mouth to reply, when the door to your room slid open
>The Star Trek kind of sliding door
>You had spent two days playing with the thing
>The Equestrians thought it was hilarious
>There, standing in the hallway, dressed to the nines, was Captain of the S.S. Deliverance To A Better World Twilight Sparkle
>The captain, a winged, horned version of the Equestrians, smiled at the two of you
>"Afternoon, Anon, Incognito," she said, with a little wave
>She stepped into the room
>Your eyes immediately drifted down to her legs
>They were weirdly shaped
>Thicker at the bottom, ending in hooves
>How they managed to walk at all was crazy
>They had this weird, hoppy, bouncy gait, so weird that you had a hard time taking your eyes off them
>You've seen the Equestrians look at you too though

>One of the nurses even commented that your movements were so fluid and easy
>You believe the word "mesmerizing" was even thrown out there
>Incognito pushed off the windowsill
>"Cap'n," he said, inclining his head
>"Oh please, there's no need for that here," Twilight said with a wave of her hand. "Just Twilight please."
>Incognito just grunted
>"So, we're next then?" he said, crossing his arms
>Twilight froze mild step
>She smiled awkwardly
>"Hehe... will, yeah. I suppose so," she said, rubbing the back of her head. "Incognito, could I talk to Anon for a few minutes? I'll speak to you afterward."
>Incognito frowned
>He looked at you, then at the captain
>You could see the gears turning in his head
>For a second, you thought he was going to refuse, before he nodded
>"Alright, I'll go bother the nurses or somethin'," he grumbled
>You couldn't help but smile
>As much as he wanted to seem grumpy, he did have a soft spot for one of the nurses that took care of you all
>Said something about her being like someone he knew
>He got defensive when you tried to dig a little deeper, so you had dropped it
>Twilight's smile became more genuine
>"Thanks. I appreciate it."
>"Uh-huh," he replied, brushing past her toward the door
>The door slid open, closing behind the man as he stepped through it
>Twilight stared at the door for a bit, her donkey-looking ears perked up
>These Equestrians seemed to have much better hearing that you
>A better sense of smell too, since they seemed to be sniffing all the time
>Incognito must have been making his way down the hall, because the captain let out a sigh, turning toward you
>"Alrighty. Now that we're alone, I wanted to let you in on some things, Anonymous," she began. "Something that we found out a few days ago after one of our tests. Something which I had the nurses... keep quiet about until we could absolutely confirm that what we found was conclusive."
>You perked up a bit

>The Equestria's tone was very, very careful, which meant that what she was about to tell you would either be good or very bad
>Did something happen?
>Were they going to tell you that you weren't allowed to ever go home?
>Was that weird probe guy right?
>What about that guy that insisted that these aliens were going to eat you and harvest your brains for lewd activities?
>A bit of nervousness made your stomach tighten
>Not a lot
>Just a hair
"So... what's going on? Nothing bad I hope"
>Twilight bit her lower lip
>Not a real good sign
>"Well... that depends on what you consider BAD," she said, brushing past you.
"Okay..."
>Twilight's wings ruffled
>She insisted that she could fly with them
>You didn't believe her
>They were too small
>You didn't care if she had "magic" or whatever the fuck they used on this spacecraft
>"There's a reason why we're on these ships, Anon," Twilight said, staring out of the window. "We used to live on a very nice planet. A lot like Earth really. Everypony was happy. Mostly. Something happened though. Well, something had been happening for a long time, but it had gotten to a point that we needed to do something or our race would die out."
>She inhaled, holding it for a few seconds, before releasing it
>"We built these ships hoping to find beings like yourselves that would help our... issue. It was a one in a trillion chance really, maybe even worse odds than that, but we needed to do something, anything."
>She turned around to face you, her expression stern
>"We almost didn't expect to find anypony, but here we found your planet, your people; you. We also found what we needed to insure the continued survival of our race."
>She took a step toward you, then another
>Lifting a hand up, she placed it on your shoulder
>"We... need your sperm. A lot of it. Please. For the good of all the ponies on this ship."
>...
>...
>...
>Wat?
"Wat?"




~!~



"Alright! Spike? Are you ready?"
>"Aye aye captain."
"Do you have the extra quills?"
>"Yep"
"The spare inkpot?"
>"Uh-huh."
"The scraper for any mistakes?"
>"Right on the table, boss lady."
>Twilight looked around her work space,hands on her hips. After over a year of being a princess, she had almost forgotten the thrill of scientific inquiry; looking at someone or something, puzzling over its mysteries and trying her hardest to discover their secrets. That had been one of her favorite hobbies before she had gotten her wings, putting on a lab coat and safety glasses, sneaking into the science wing of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns with her number one assistant, and seeing where the night--or even the next few nights-- would take her.
>Today would not only be a time were she could indulge in such pleasures, but this might be the most important bout of scientific exploration that she had ever done. Heck, what Spike recorded here could bloom into something that would not only help ponies everywhere but explain a bit more about the universe, magic, and the fundamental mechanics that made up their very existence!
>The alicorn did her best not to hop around like a little filly in the midst of a sugar rush at the thought. Coughing into a hand, she turned toward the focus of all of her excitement. It was a creature that hadn't existed in Equestria until a few months. In fact, until he had appeared, everypony would have thought his existence was impossible. By all laws of the universe and magic, he should have exploded as soon as he appeared, or immediately turned into a black hole, or perhaps a new sun, but not only did he continue to exist, more of his kind were appearing all over Equestria and beyond.

>His name was... well, he couldn't remember. Due to whatever had brought him here--another thing that she and many like her were desperately trying to discover--he had forgotten his name. The rest of his memories seemed to be intact. He was able to recall things from his childhood, his friends, his family, where he had worked. How much of that was actually true and not another result of whatever mysterious force that had sent him crashing into the Filthy Rich’s pool was unclear, but it was too soon to say anything decisive either way.
>It was the same for the rest of his kind that had appeared as well. Some were distressed that they couldn't remember something so important and fundamental to who they were as a person, others could care less. Still, her fellow countrymares and stallions needed to call them something, so they had been given names.
>The young stallion that stood in front of her had been named Anonymous, the first human to appear on Equus from what she had been able to gather. He was an alien, something not of this universe, and one of the most interesting things that she had ever seen.
"Are you okay, Anon?" Twilight asked, tying her mane into a ponytail. "You look nervous."
>"I'm fine, your highness," Anon immediately said, eyes scanning the room. "It's just, uh, this kind of reminds me of going to the doctor. I'm not a huge fan of doctors, like really not at all."
"Please Anon, just call me Twilight, everypony does," Twilight said, pulling on a pair of gloves. "And you don't have to worry, I'm not a doctor. I won't draw any blood or do anything that you're uncomfortable with."
>Anon nodded. "Alright, I trust you, your--um, Twilight. Just like me know if I need to do anything."
Twilight flashed him a smile. "Thank you very much, Anon. Now, Spike?"
>"Ready!" Spike chirped, readying his pen and quill.

"Very good. Now, let's begin. For the record, I'm Twilight Sparkle, scientific enthusiasts and Princess of Equestria. Are you ready to begin, Anon?”
>“Yes ma’am.”
"Excellent! Today I would like to explore the Homo Sapien--also known as human. To have a comparison, I’ve brought in my student Starlight Glimmer to serve as a contrast.”
>Beside the human, Starlight looked positively small, the tip of her horn barely reaching to his chest. The unicorn was breathing hard, a byproduct of the run that Twilight had asked her to do just before coming into the room. The unicorn was wearing a pair of long athletic pants, as well as a jacket. Normally, Starlight would never wear such heavy clothes in like this--especially with how hot it had been--but Twilight had insisted.
>"Do you need to call me your student for this, Twi?" Starlight asked, wiping the sweat from her brow. "Can't it just be assistant? Or maybe friend? Calling me a student makes me sound like a foal."
"Oh, of course," Twilight said. "Spike, can you edit that please? Just put, "I'm brought Starlight Glimmer, a mare of renown and a trusted friend"."
>Starlight smiled as Spike saluted, reaching for his scraper. "Aw, you didn't have to put all of that, Twilight."
Twilight waved her off. "None of what I said was wrong, Starlight, and ponies should know it. Now, Starlight is a normal unicorn in many respects. Her height is around ten-point-six hooves tall. She weighs around two hundred and twelve appuls. Her Horn is around two-point-seven smolhooves long."
>"Two-point-eight, actually," Starlight corrected, reaching up to touch her [i]definitely[/i] larger than average horn.

"Hooves are of average size, her fat to body mass is also in line with a healthy mare of her age. Her fur is a light purple, eyes are a purple color as well, though a few shades deeper. All-in-all, a normal unicorn without any abnormalities," Twilight continued. "Starlight, please hold your arms out to your sides. I'd like to take a picture."
>Starlight did as she was asked, lifting her arms into a t-pose position. With a spell, Twilight summoned a camera. Walking around Starlight, she took pictures of the mare at every angle. Starlight stood as still as she could, trying very hard not to make a silly face.
"Now, Anon here is noticeably different from a pony, one of the key things being his size. Him, and every other human we've so far observed is massive by pony standards. Anonymous himself is over seventeen hooves tall. He weighs over six hundred and six appuls. He's almost seven hooves taller than Starlight, and almost three times her weight. Anon, please raise your arms like Starlight did."
>Anon raised his arms. His wingspan was impressive; Twilight had seen him touch both walls in the hallway outside without any trouble. Lowering one arm a bit, the human placed his hand on top of Starlight's head. Starlight giggled, smacking him with her tail.
"Size isn't the only differentiating factor," Twilight said, slowly making her way around Anon. "A human's lower body is completely different from a ponies. Their legs and rumps are thinner and flatter. Their ankles are more compact, less maneuverable. They have no hooves, but some kind of mutated hand that they call a foot that allows them to propel themselves forward. They're obviously designed for long distance and maneuverability in mind, while a pony is built for running quickly over short distances. This has been shown in tests to see which is faster, as against all three pony races a human will lose unless given a significant head start."

>"Slow poke," Starlight said, getting a flick to the ear for her trouble.
"A human's skin is thinner than a pony's as well, and has very minimal fur. Their skin is very resistant to damage however, and is able to heal quickly even without magical aide."
>Twilight took a few pictures as Spike continued to scribble away.
"Anon, if you could please let me see one of your hands?"
>The human offered her a hand. Twilight took it, running her thumbs lightly over the veins she could see near the knuckles. Like the rest of him, it was massive, bigger than most stickball mitts.
"Their hands are also much different. They have five fingers instead of four, and each finger is much longer. The nails also seem to be much more durable compared to ours. Parts of the hand can also become calloused, allowing a human to pick up and carry things that might tear out hands apart. Thank you, Anon."
>Nodding, Anon lifted his hand, placing it on top of Starlight's head once again, sitting on top of her head like a hat. The unicorn snorted, trying to smack his side, missing because her arms were far too short.
"Their faces are flatter and more angular than ours. Their ears don't have the range of movement that ours do, or much movement at all. It is also worth noting that their hearing is much worse. Their noses come in different sizes, though they're generally the same shape, almost bunny-like. As with their hearing, their sense of smell is abysmal, though their eyesight is noticeably better than ours, especially during twilight and night."
>Twilight cleared her throat, closing her eyes and placing her hands behind her back, tail swishing from side-to-side excitedly.

"A human being is really unlike anything on Equus, from their outward appearance to their internal biometrics. Their bones are different, they have what would be a lethal amount of iron for pretty much any species on Equus in their bodies. Their lungs are different, their stomach acids could probably melt rocks, their kidneys are so strong they could drink bottles and bottles of rubbing alcohol and barely taste it. Findings such as this are continuously being found, and I'm sure they'll be found for years and years to come. As such, I've decided to focus today on something I've found during my observations, namely how receptive a human is to pheromones. Starlight?"
>Reaching for the zipper of her jacket, Starlight pulled it down. Slowly, the sports bra she was wearing was revealed. After that a smooth, toned stomach could be seen. Starlight fanned herself with a hand, pulling the jacket apart. The mare's whole upper body was slick with sweat, and her bra was soaked with it.
>Anon took a deep breath. Twilight's camera was able to capture his pupils dilating in a dozen quick snaps before he turned away, coughing into a hand. Starlight chuckled, moving toward him until their hips were almost touching.
"All ponies give off pheromones. For our most ancient ancestors, they were used just like any other animals; for marking territory, for finding and attracting mates, et cetera. After millions of years of evolution, however, the glands that produce them have shrunk in size, so much so that their output is almost nonexistent."
>Anon looked down at Starlight, then looked away. Starlight giggled, bumping his hip with hers. Making sure that Spike wasn't watching, she reached over and gave his butt a pinch, causing the human to hop away from her, much to her amusement.

"The strange thing is that humans are able to detect these pheromones, especially when a pony is sweating, like Starlight is here. It's different for each human, for both males and females, and can be affected differently if the pheromones are from a mare or stallion. For many male humans that are subject to a mare's pheromones, they will experience a sudden warmth. The pupils will often dilate. Their skin might turn flush. From what's been currently recorded, and from my own observations, humans will become extremely affectionate if in contact with pheromones for a length of time. That length of time depends on the human, as with pretty much anything I've said so far, but it usually goes into effect within a minute or so."
>Starlight continued to chase Anon around the room, giggling like a madmare. Anon, dodging her flicking tail and groping, was smiling as well. For a giant of a creature, the human was able to move around the room fluidly, stepping over tables and around lamps with little issue. Starlight, though not as nimble on her hooves as he was on his feet, managed to keep up with him.
>"Hey, if you two knock anything over you're cleaning it up," Spike said, pointing his quill at them, a frown on his face.
>"He's the one that won't stay still," Starlight said.
>"I'm not the one getting grabby," Anon retorted as his side was tickled. "Hey!"
>He tried to step away, only to bump into a shelf, with another shelf to his left. Anon looked back to see that he had been forced into a corner. That was when Starlight, cackling, lunged at him, jumping up and hooking her arms around his shoulders. Anon automatically placed his hands under the unicorn's rump to keep her from falling.
>"Gotcha," she said, letting go of his shoulders and hugging his neck.
>This lifted her a bit higher, allowing her to tilt her head up and give his cheek a kiss. Anon laughed, rubbing his nose against against hers as he carried her over to a chair.

>Starlight's hands wandered his sides, shoulder, and chest as he walked. She rested her chin on his shoulder. Taking a deep breath, she shivered, her tail flicking.
Twilight, who couldn't help but chuckle at the silliness unfolding in front of her, coughed into a hand. "Humans also have glands that produce pheromones. Unlike ponies however, they seem much more productive. This could be because of a number of things, but I theorize that it's to make up for their poor sense of smell."
>As soon as Anon sat himself down, he pulled Starlight into his lap. He hugged the mare close, leaning down so he could nuzzle the nape of her neck. Starlight let out a hum, reaching over to pat his head. Anon's nostrils flared and he closed his eyes, rubbing his cheek against her collar bone.
>"Blah," Spike said, sticking his tongue out at the display.
"Strangely enough, ponies seem to be affected by their pheromones as well. A sudden warmth spreading across the body, a desire to be closer to the human, affection, nearly all of the symptoms are the same. I believe that it might be one of the most fascinating things about humans, if not the most important.”
“Humans and ponies have never met. There's been no chance for our kind to evolve with there's, their environment is different, magic as a fundamental element could be nonexistent in their universe. They are built differently, they move differently, their minds are hardwired in a way that can only be described as alien."
>Starlight swung her legs over the side of the chair. Now sitting sideways, she reached up to wrap her arms around Anon's neck. Pulling him down, she pressed his nose right above her cleavage. Anon tensed for a moment, sucking in air through his teeth, before he visibly relaxed.

>The unicorn giggled, tilting his head down do she could nibble on his ear. Her face was now visibly flushed, eyes twinkling. "A bunch of big teddy bears, Twi," she said. "How couldn’t you want to just hug and play with them? I’m looking at this big dork right here and I just want to eat him up~”
Twilight looked over at her number one assistant. "Spike, don't record that please," she said, walking over toward him. "Actually, let me look at what you wrote down. I might want to further add on some thoughts and edit some things."
>Spike handed over his papers, which Twilight began leafing through. "So... is it alright if I go now?" the drake asked. "Or do you need me here for any more of this gross stuff?"
"It's not gross, Spike, it's fascinating," Twilight corrected. "And you can go. I'll make sure to get you some gems later today as a thank you for helping with this."
>Spike brightened at that, hopping off his stool with a "Thanks, Twilight!" and waddling away.
Twilight took his seat, reaching for the quill that he had dropped on the table. "Starlight, Anon? You both can leave too. I had wanted to make this session a bit longer, but now I think I'll just look over what I have for today and collect my thoughts."
>"Alright, Twi," Starlight said, giving the human's neck a nip before hopping out of his lap. "Come on big guy, lets get outta her hair. I need a shower."
>Grabbing his hand, she helped him to his feet.
"Thanks for the help, you two," Twilight said, not looking up from her notes as she waved at them.
>"Happy to help!"
>"Yeah, what she said. Anytime you need it, Princess."

~_~_~_~_~_~

>"Now keep your eyes closed. No peeking~"
>Anon did as he was told, closing his eyes as the bathroom door opened. He was in Starlight's room, sitting on the edge of her bed. The room, as usual, was just a [i]bit[/i] messy, like she had rushed to clean it before he had come in and missed a few things. She swore up and down that she never did that, but he was pretty sure the unicorn had a number of cleaning spells in her back pocket.
>The human had been in this room many times. Lately, he had been inside of this room more than his own bedroom in the house that Princess Twilight and Mayor Mare had given him and some of the other humans. He quite liked Starlight's room, though, if he were being honest, it might have just been because it was Starlight's.
>He could hear the mare in question humming a tune to herself as she stepped out of her bathroom. Without looking, he knew a wave of steam was following her, since Starlight loved her showers hot. He also knew that she was rather fond of walking around her room completely in the nude.
>"Hey, do I see those eyes opened?" she asked.
"No ma'am," Anon replied, shaking his head.
>He wanted to open his eyes and see the gorgeous mare. Those thick, shapely legs, those nice, full tits bouncing with each step she took, that wonderfully large butt. Starlight always complained about her butt, insisting that there might have been some earth pony in her blood because of how big it was.
>"Are you sure?" she asked, voice just above a whisper, now in front of him. "You're not being a dirty colt, are you?"
>Anon could feel the heat from her still moist skin, smell the shampoo that she had used. As usual, he could also smell... something else. It was a comforting, warm scent. Blueberries, clothes right out of the drier, warm bread. The scent would always change, but it always made him feel comfortable, safe.

>He leaned forward, lips puckered. Starlight giggled as he kissed her bare neck. She tried to move away, but he just followed her, eyes still closed, blindly kissing. When his butt was almost off the couch, he felt Starlight's lips on his. They were soft, warm, almost tingle-y. He leaned into the kiss, which Starlight eagerly returned for a few seconds before breaking the kiss and leaping away, leaving the taste of honey on his lips.
>"You know, my dad's really excited about meeting you tomorrow," Starlight said, somewhere near her closet. "I must have gotten ten letters yesterday, and just as many the day before that."
"I'm excited to meet him too," Anon said, a smile coming to his face. "I hope he likes me."
>"He'll love you, you big oaf. If you’re not careful we might have to sneak out of his house so we can leave. Alright, you can open your eyes now."
>Opening his eyes, he could see Starlight standing to his left. The mare was wearing a pair of tight short-shorts that hugged her legs. She had a shirt--his shirt; one of the many that she had "borrowed"--up over her chin, revealing her belly and her breasts.
>A bead of moisture ran down between her tits. Her nipples were stiffening with the chill in the air. Starlight rocked on her hooves, making those breasts bounce. The unicorn grinned, letting him oogle her for a few moments before letting the shirt fall down to cover herself.
>With a skip and a hop, and launched herself at him. Anon grunted as her body collided with his, forcing him onto his back. Still grinning, Starlight straddled him, her mane still clinging to the side of her head and neck.
>"What am I going to do with you?" she asked.
Anon opened his mouth to answer, only for the unicorn to pull him into a kiss. Her hands began to roam his body, touching and squeezing. His hands immediately went for her rump, which had her laughing as she squeezed his cock through his pants. He, in turn, reached up to fondle a tit.

>"You're really gonna get it when everything's perfect, buster brown," she said, her voice husky as she rubbed her nose against his. "I swear to Celestia I'm gonna make your first time better than amazing."
>Anon’s face grew hot. Play groping, flashing, and a bit of dirty talk was okay, encouraged even, but nothing more, especially when Starlight had found out he was a virgin. She insisted that his first time needed to be special, not just time random fling that he'd forget in a week, and she was determined to keep him on the straight and narrow until, "Everything was perfect."
>The young man had no idea when that would be, but he had a feeling that the first step would be to meet Starlight's dad. Not that he was unhappy with how their relationship was going; far from it in fact.
>Back home he hadn't had a lot of luck with the opposite sex. He had no idea why, but he just couldn't talk with women, and what few words he could get out were usually awkward and forced. It had always been something that had bothered him, that discomfort, that weakness, especially when he had seen his buddies pick up girls and have relationships as if such a thing were easy. Maybe it was easy. He had no idea, and that what had frustrated him since he was old enough to care about girls. It made him feel like a loser, and he hated it.
>With Starlight there had been none of that nervousness. He had been able to keep conversation with her whenever they had spoken with each other, and he had even managed to flirt with the mare, poor as the attempt might have been. Thankfully, Starlight seemed to take his awkwardness in stride. In fact, if it weren't for her surprising forwardness, he still might be single.
>He was perfectly content with how the relationship was going. He felt happier than he had been in a long time. People said that he seemed more confident and focused on everything he did. He had also heard ponies saying how positively their relationship was affecting Starlight.

>Before he had come into her life, the mare had been somewhat of an outcast. She had done some things-bad things--and ponies were still somewhat cautious around her. The unicorn had made friends, she even helped out in Princess Twilight's friendship school as an advisor, but ponies still said that there was something off about her, something missing.
>It felt the same for him, but now that missing piece, that missing part of him, felt filled. He felt whole, like a real person. It was almost scary, feeling the things he felt whenever he looked at the strange, beautiful creature that he had gotten to know over these last few months.
>Starlight stopped her groping, now just cupping the human's face. She was smiling as she laid on top of him, eyes filled with affection. The sight made his heart ache. "You wanna stay the night?" she asked.
>She had been asking this question for the last two months that the two had been together. Anon had yet to tell her no.
"Absolutely," he replied, wrapping his arms around her middle.
>With a happy murmur, Starlight laid her head down on his chest. With a spell, she pulled her blanket overtop the two. Anon was too big for the blanket to cover him fully--he was so big that his feet were hanging off the bed for crying out loud--but he didn't mind. He just held onto his fillyfriend, pressing his face into her mane.
He wanted to say those three little words. He wanted to look Starlight in the eye and say them, but he was honestly afraid. As much as he cared about the mare, it didn't feel like the right time.
>Starlight let out another sigh, her tail dragging across his legs and she wiggled on top of him. Anon closed his eyes, kissing the top of her head.
>He'd wait though, happily. He'd only say those three little words when, like Starlight loved to say, everything was perfect.