K so this will be as brief as I can make it, cos I didnt plan on even writing this, but I figured I owed an explanation for whoever is interested, and if noone is then maybe someone can relate, and if not then idk I guess I just wasted 5 minutes of my life which I dont mind doing.

So yeah, I have decided to leave PS pretty much permanently, which for whoever actually knew me shouldnt come as much of a surprise. For me PS has always been about tournaments, they are the only reason I got addicted in the first place. I think aside from the fact that I did like the game, it was more that I felt that I was fairly good at competitive mons, and people tend to like what they are good at **cue brooding Jon Snow #GoTSeason8Hype**. However, as I mentioned several times to those I spoke to on a more frequent basis, around the start of 2018, or to be more precise after ompl, I pretty much started losing interest in comp mons, and mons in general. It got to the point where I really wasnt enjoying playing tournaments at all, but for some strange reason I kept entering them. I still dont know why, but I think I was hooked on success, like I didnt enjoy them but I liked winning so I still entered. This to me is just unhealthy, and maybe some of you can relate idk.

So yeah that was bad enough, but around the time of OMGS playoffs, mons started messing with my uni too. Term had started, and originally I had explicitly stated that if omgs playoffs went into my third term, I would quit the tournament. However I was unable to do so, and I ended up continuing to play in it, and all the other tours that I was still in. Now for me this was just awful, cos ive always been able to basically eliminate all other distractions and focus on studies when I needed to, but this was the first time where something else held an external hold on me that I wasnt in full control of. Like I wasnt even trying, I was just asking people for teams about 30 mins before my matches, or reusing old teams, never practiced and played like total shit, idek how I got as far as I did, but nonetheless I wasnt able to simply walk away from it and that pissed me off. The best description I have for it is a vicious cycle, where its just a lose lose lose. I lose cos I dont enjoy it, I lose cos I literally am losing as im not putting in any effort, and I lose cos im losing time I needed to spend on uni. Fortunately I was able to finally put mons away around 2 months ago, I wont say I tried to lose in omgs, but I did not try to win really, cos another win woulda kept me attached for a further week and I simply couldnt afford that.

Now having come out of mons for a bit, I honestly feel like its just time I move on. I dont see the point in tempting fate and rejoining in the hope that I both start enjoying it again, and am able to regulate my usage, most likely at least one of those things wont hold up, and I will end up back in that vicious cycle, so yeah im taking this oppurtunity to move on.