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- >Be an average man.
- >Be going out with a Minotaur girl.
- >Her name's Molly.
- >She's got a very nice, rockin' bod.
- >Personality is a bit rough, but deep down she's kindhearted.
- >You are almost head over heels.
- >Almost.
- >You've fucked her twice by now.
- >Naturally, she has assumed the dominating position, something you aren't quite used to.
- >You've banged girls before, normal girls.
- >But when you're with Molly, she just keeps riding you for an hour straight before she finally orgasms.
- >You usually orgasm at least twenty times in this performance.
- >You want to get some of that control back.
- >Prideful as fuck.
- >This nags you in the corner of your mind for days.
- >Walking to work one day.
- >Random paper flies into your face.
- >HAVING PROBLEMS SATISFYING YOUR WOMAN?
- >WANT TO BE THE MAN IN THE BEDROOM AGAIN?
- >THEN CALL OUR NUMBER AT 1-800-MAN-HELP AND WE'LL GET YOU ON THAT HIGH HORSE AGAIN!
- >Ponder about it for a while and say, fuck it.
- >Get on lunch break and call the number.
- >Woman answers.
- >Real secretary like voice.
- >"Thank you for calling Man-Help, how may I help you?"
- >Well shit, wasn't expecting that.
- >"Oh! Hi there, was just kinda...calling to see what this was about..."
- >Secretary seems to perk up.
- >"Oh! Are you wanting to enlist for the Monster Girl Supplements?"
- >"Supplement?"
- >She explains that is like a practice meeting.
- >Provides you with the place of a meeting tonight and to ask for Carl.
- >Molly is going to be working late tonight, decide to try it.
- >Later after work, go to McAllister's Pub.
- >Been here a few times, not bad a place.
- >Find a waitress and ask for Carl.
- >Get pointed to the smoking section on the side of the bar.
- >Find a haggard looking fella in a flannel long sleeve and a cig in his fingers.
- >Introduce yourself.
- >Coughs and introduces himself as well and asks what kind of girl I have.
- >Minotaur.
- >"Ho shit, son! You got a tough one yah know?"
- >Naw shit old man.
- >He smokes a bit.
- >"You ever pull the tricks? Get some play in the screw?"
- >You guess he means foreplay.
- >"Dumb ass kids, you get romantic with her?"
- >"A bit..."
- >"You've got a lot to learn."
- >Fuck this if he's just gonna mock me.
- >Get up.
- >He grabs my sleeve.
- >Suddenly springs a Liam Neson voice on me.
- >"If you're serious about pleasin' your bull, you'll have to put of sex for a week, and I'll train you."
- >Reluctantly agree, and pay him 50$.
- >Rip off, I know it.
- >Tells me to meet him around back of the bar tomorrow morning.
- >Get there next morning.
- >Hands you four bottles of water.
- >Must drink four bottles per day, nothing else.
- >Fuck.
- >Moves on to the back.
- >There's a chicken pen.
- >He tells you to catch one.
- >Some Rocky Balboa shit here.
- >Too two days, before you caught one.
- >Was apparently supposed to teach you concentration and eye coordination.
- >But you just wanted to kill the damn chicken.
- >Next was to go to the area's rundown gym, Alby's Boxing Gym.
- >Get to do curl ups and squats for the next three days at 8:00 am.
- >Been making excuses to Molly for being absent, work problems and the shpeel.
- >Next task was to enlist in a Zumba class.
- >Bro, what the fu-
- >At least Carl's paying for it.
- >A class for the next three days at 2:00 pm.
- >Apparently hip and stamina work out.
- >When not in the Zumba classes, he takes you to a record store.
- >Shows you the old style romances, retro shit and all that.
- >Then, you and Carl go to a High school.
- >Has a friend there that teaches anatomy.
- >Go there, and find out he's gonna teach you about foreplay.
- >Bitch please like you already don't know what to do.
- >Starts teaching you about armpits, tongues and shit.
- >Quizzes you on it afterwords.
- >Barely get through it with a 70.
- >Just like the good ole days...
- >Insert crack about you barely passing at sex, from Carl.
- >Fuckin' old man.
- >Finally, it gets to Friday.
- >You've had five days to "train".
- >Carl and you are standing outside your apartment.
- >He hands you a beer and y'all toast before you go into your house.
- >It's time to smack the bull on the ass.
- >Go into the house.
- >Molly's doing dishes.
- >"Hey hon, where've you be-"
- >Literally smack her ass.
- >It's always been your calling card for sex.
- >Dishes drop in the sink.
- >Next thing you know she's pulling you into the bedroom and your clothes are coming off.
- >A week without sex.
- >Da fuck were you thinking?
- >She's already shed her clothes and makes to push you down and start the usual "push over and fuck".
- >Sike! Gotcha bitch!
- >You suddenly reach under her arms and start tickling.
- >Thank Jeezus, she's ticklish!
- >Bursts out in fits of laughter, Molly staggers off you.
- >Now was your chance.
- >You throw all your weight against her and knock her over onto the bed.
- >Pecker is already hard enough to smash through a brick wall.
- >Nicely done.
- >You swing right back on your feet and immediately go for her wet pussy.
- >Swoosh!
- >Damn it's a flood coming out of that!
- >Plug it up alright.
- >That Zumba exercise shot right into your hips.
- >Next thing you know, you're hip bopping the fuck out of that pussy.
- >Molly was now wailing.
- >Fuckin' wailing!
- >She's gripping the sheets for dear life and has that blissful look of ecstasy all over her face.
- >You get that fixed in your head.
- >Nothing else matters but fucking her.
- >Never breaking eye contact.
- >Meanwhile, you're shaking her so hard, maracas would be put to shame.
- >Finally you both cum; both of you are sweating out the wazoo.
- >Over...hell no.
- >You're still good to go another round.
- >You jump up and stand on the bed.
- >Grab her thick truck of a leg and assume the pile driver position.
- >Then you put the "dick" in "dicking her down".
- >You're imitating your squat routine, what you've been training for.
- >Molly, meanwhile is moaning through the spurts of girl cum dripping down over her head.
- >Holding off sex for a week might've worked in your favor now.
- >She's had to have orgasmed at least twice now, her pussy is clamped on you harder than a gator jaw.
- >You last this way for a while before you get that rush and cum again.
- >Something about the downward pull of gravity while cumming kinda made the experience more ecstatic.
- >So ecstatic actually, that you didn't notice the world flipping upside down until it was too late.
- >Black out.
- >Wake up in the hospital.
- >Carl's sitting in the chair next to you.
- >"Hey bud, you took a nasty fall there..."
- >Fills you in on how you fucked up.
- >Got too high off your orgasm that you fell over and busted your head on the floor.
- >On the bright side however, it took Molly a few minutes to recover from her orgasmic high before she got an ambulance.
- >How the fuck is that a bright side?!?!?
- >Molly suddenly charges in and hugs you.
- >Faint pain around your hips and legs.
- She starts crying, how she's sorry for doing that to you.
- >It was mostly your fault, but you let her cry a bit.
- >Doctor comes in, "I'm sorry to say, but you've had a concussion."
- >Not only that, your legs feel like they got flattened by a train.
- >Will have to be bedridden for a few days.
- >You lost 50$, feeling in your legs, and the chance to drink alcohol to forget the experience.
- >On the plus side, you now have prescription drugs, a new bar buddy, and a satisfied Minotaur girlfriend.
- >You. Regret. Nothing.
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