Diphenhydramine Trip Log

     Dosage: 36 25mg diphenhydramine pills, pink. Walmart generic brand. Total amount: 900mg

     T-0:00 = 1450 (local time, 2050 UTC), Thursday, September 24, 2015.

     Stomach contents are mostly empty at this point, have only really eaten one small brownie after dosing, and a few miniature sweet bell peppers about an hour or so ago. Expecting effects to be rather pronounced, as I do not currently have a built up tolerance of any significant amount. I did consume 900mg about two nights ago, but the trip was of no success, as my memory faded out about 30 minutes after taking the dosage. Today, I am planning to perform my tripping in the daylight, when I am not tired, and I haven't been awake for longer than 36 hours. I do rather hope that my trip today will be more fruitful, as I am in a more prepared mindset, and ready to learn from the chemical teacher that is Diphenhydramine.

     As I go into the trip, I find myself pondering the nature of these OTC teachers. Many find them dirty, and unenjoyable. I believe this to be because for them, the negative features greatly outweigh the positives, and they aren't willing to put up with the positives, or attempt to perceive the negatives in a more positive light.

     On the nature of diphenhdyramine, it is a very interesting chemical. It has a very heavy body load to it, and a deep, dysphoric mindset, tinted  with the occasional feeling of extreme doom and remorse. It is often in the nature of the trip to provoke oneself into great unease because of these dysphoric feelings. I find that it's necessary to understand that this is just a matter of how the chemical affects your body. This is a side effect of the anticholinergic activity, inhibiting acetylcholine transmission, and affecting the parasympathetic nervous system, as well as provoking the mind to go into delusion, and potentially psychosis.

     In my experience, I do not experience any intense delusions while on diphenhydramine. I can traditionally discern which external stimuli that I perceive are merely hallucinations, be they audio or visual. I unfortunately, as of yet, have not been able to let my mind get so consumed by the trip that I collapse into true delirium. I have had very intense visuals and experiences before, and perceived people that I believed were there, and for a moment did not realize I was merely hallucinating, but upon reflection, I would rapidly discover that what I perceived was a mere illusion.

     I feel that this illusory universe created by the nature of this wonderful substance allows the psychonaut to reach into a different realm of existence and perception. It allows the psychonaut to perceive an entirely different universe, where basic physical laws differ from our own. Where the walls will melt and breathe, and objects will slide around of their own volition, never content to find a specific home. Where everything has a deep, translucent energy permeating all of it, connecting everything. Some people refer to this energy as cobwebs, or as smoke, or even as spiders. Many people perceive it differently, it comes as a different vision to everyone who perceives it. It all has to do with their mental status, with how they perceive things, with the things they have come to learn in life, and with how their mind tends to interpret random chaotic happenings that have no discernible relation to reality.

     It is not really the best experience for those who aren't ready to feel it. It takes a truly strong constitution and fortitude to be able to truly know the benefit of this chemical teacher. It can allow you to perceive things from the perspective of a tabula rasa. Perceiving things as abstract concepts, and powerful feelings and emotions, instead of concrete words and tangible lines of thought. It is empty. It feels like being a child again, not knowing what the world may hold for you. A scared little child, lost in the woods, balking at the sound of the howling werewolves of the trees whistling around them. Before the perceptual filters started being applied and heavily instituted. Back when the individual was still allowed to just believe, and see everything for what it is.

     I'm sure many of you reading this are familiar with the concept of which I am speaking. We all know that children are more innately attuned to the true nature of things. They have not allowed their filters to be entirely locked down and defined, and they still allow themselves to perceive the signal, AND the noise, as it were. The problem with the noise is, it's not always just standard dynamic deviation. It's an extension of the signal, a reality all it's own, and a powerful thing to be able to perceive. But society diminishes the importance of these perceptions, and likes to label those that perceive these things as insane. Schizophrenic, those who are harmed.

     Older cultures, especially tribal cultures with a shamanic element, often experienced individuals of this manner. However, within them, they understood that these people were suffering from a SPIRITUAL SICKNESS. Yes, there are definitely physical symptoms, and there are ways you can control the physical presentation of the sickness, but until you get down to it and solve the issue that is causing the sickness, your soul cannot heal. Your conscious energy cannot move forward, and it will keep experiencing this long, dark teatime of the soul, to quote douglas adams, until it is healed of what causes it to feel these things.

     That isn't to say that they glorified these people who we would label as insane in the modern world. But, they didn't jump to conclusions and just assume that they were acting out irrationally or that they were broken. They understood that if they nurtured these minds, showed them the true nature of things, they could perceive the deep spiritual and existential truths that reality is compromised of. It is this sort of society that I desire to live and exist in. I do not know if I will ever find it, but if I do... I know that I will feel at home there, far more than any place I have ever been.

     It is now 1512, having been approximately 22 minutes. I feel the basic twitchings of diphenhydramine, stirring in my essence. My stomach feels slightly heavy, but not so heavy as it did last time, as this time I allowed myself to eat slightly so as to offset the acidity of it. My head is slowly altering and shifting, and my attention span is both breaking and widening. I could allow myself to just stare at one point for minutes on end without breaking my gaze, but in doing this, I wouldn't even be paying attention to the point. I would merely be lost in my mind, wandering through the realms that dph thrusts me into.

     I feel twangs of pain going through my arms, and like my body is getting slightly heavier. Dph can take a while to kick in, up to 2 hours to fully kick in, but in my experience, it's usually going and kicking after about an hour. It feels like there are small things crawling on my skin, underneath the hoodie that I'm wearing, and underneath my hat. I find this feeling fascinating, in its vacillating and effervescent nature.

     I decided to put on some tunes, as I find that experiences such as these often go well with music. The choice is currently the Gorillaz discography on shuffle, looping through all of their choice music. Right now, Clint Eastwood is playing through my laptop's tiny, crappy little speakers. It sounds very tinny and high as usual, as the treble frequencies are the one highlighted by such a small diaphraghm. But, it sounds great. The voice of Del and the ominous sounds in the background, the rising wind instruments, the melodica, they all contribute to build a headspace that is just wonderful for entering into a dph trip.

     I also find myself using my vaporizer. It is an eleaf iStick 30w, cranked up to 30w, with an Aspire Atlantis sub-ohm tank, pumping electricity through at 0.5 ohms. It's just wonderful, and builds up huge plumes of smoke. I know I could have a better rig, but for now, this one is perfect and satisfies me, ,giving me all that I would deserve. I also have an itazte MVP (v1 i presume), with an Aspire Nautilis titanium tank, which doesn't build up good clouds, but it's great as a backup when my primary unit is out of commission and charging.

     My significant other, Maria, just gave me a plate of sauteed chicken skins that she cooked up for me to provide to my cat, Miss Kitty. So, for now, I am going to take a break from writing, and go attempt to give my cat some treats. I shall return shortly. The current time is 1521.

     I have now returned. The current time is 1524. Miss Kitty was not at all pleased with the chicken, I believe this is because it is currently too hot for her to consume. I spread some in the cat food bowl, and mixed it in for one of the other cats, Benny. I am going to take the rest back upstairs with me, for both Miss Kitty and Short Round to consume and enjoy. Miss Kitty did seem to have a vested interest in the chicken skin, though, I noticed. I will make sure that she is able to have some later, hopefully.

     Back to my vaporizer, I suppose. It helps me get through things like stress and anxiety during the trip, plus, being so ritualistic, it comforts me to be able to follow the ritual. As a species, we all are inhrently attracted to rituals, because it allows us to feel like we're participating in something, a greater meaning. Ritualism is built into our DNA
.

The time is now 1647, I went downstairs with Maria while she cooked, and didn't bring my laptop to take notes. However, it became very clear and evident that it started kicking in. Thing were sliding and wobbling. A fan that is the room I am in is rotating. Not just the blades on the inside, but the whole unit itself.

I want to say that the trip didn't start until abouot 90 minutes, which is different becaue usually i start coming up at 30-45, and peaking at 60. But, I did eat a little bit before and after I took the diphenhydramine. Mainly just sweet baby bell peppers, and brownies.

Eventually, the "phantom" energy occurred. This, to my understanding, is what people call the spiders. However, different people see it different ways. I've heard it called spiders, cobwebs, etc. It's a very translucent and offwhite, but it's definitely visible. Sometimes ,like if I'm at a laptop or watching a screen, I'll see huge bursts of it on the screen.

There are also audio hallucinations. Usually they take the form of voices, mumbling things that I can't understand, but they have also taken the form of the most brilliant and beautiful music i have ever heard. They can get to be kinda intense and powerful. But I think it's absolutely amazing.

After Maria finished cooking, we both sat at the dining room/hangout room table. I didn't have any food because I don't think i can even eat right now.But, that was when I started truly feeling it. I was looking around,and I noticed a nearby stool was melting into the ground, sliding down ever so subtly. And then, at that moment, the energy started kicking in.

A little note here, I lose track of time, I don't really know when some of these things happened., but I can more or less explain what happened to me as it kicked in. With the heavy body load that it gives you, it's great for just sitting down and watching,

I haven't really seen any strong or vivid hallucinations, but I can detect a few anticholinergic delirium things if I really try to pay attention lol. The energy was there, everything was super intense. With the huge body load, it was a miracle I could have even gotten up and walked up the stairs in the first place to the bedrooom. I can't really stress enough how annoying the convulsions and twitches are, but that's just the nature of the substance.

Pattern recognition and texture recognition are extremely improved, counterintuitively. I'm able to see a lot more texture on things that I normally wouldn't, like the screen of my phone for instance. It's fairly interesting. I aso have cottonmouth like the Sahara desert, to be entirely honest. When on dph, I feel like everything that happens to me is happening for the first time, like it's supposed to happen and has a reason. It's like that intense feeling of deja vu that you might get from DXM.

 The short term memory impairment is really annoying sometimes, because i can be in the middle of writing something long and important, and then completely lose it. That happened writing this paragraph, actually. It took me like 15 minutes to even get it fully typed up, this far. I think I'm going to put my laptop down now, and let myself enjoy the trip. So far, there's nothing of extreme note about my trip, so I feel like this is just the perfect amount of detail. Thank you for your time.