From a possible troll fic (http://pastebin.com/EdeaWwta) we get this: XSLFA QBE QXZL YBII

We get a character, Dipper, stumped by an encoded message. For him(?) to take enough interest as to get stumped, the author is obviously writing him as a "smart/nerdy type".

We'll assume that Dipper has paper and a pencil handy, as the story makes him out to be wracking his brain over this puzzle.

So let's decode this message that so badly stumped the main character.

XSLFA QBE QXZL YBII

Looks like a caesar cipher. Let's brute-force it.

I'll try ROT0 - ROT25 on the first word

0 | XSLFA
1 | YTMGB
2 | ZUNHC
3 | AVOID

Avoid is definitely a word. Trying Rot 3.

(AVOID) QBE QXZL YBII --> AVOID TEH TACO BELL - Solved by manual brute force in less than 3 minutes. Dipper is a fucking idiot.

Well, really, who's surprised? This is the same character who gets lost in his own town in pursuit of a Taco Bell, three paragraphs after being unable to solve a Rot3 caesar cipher for what we can assume to be 20+ minutes. You're telling me that he can't find his way in his own town, even though he's apparently been to Taco Bell before?

He's hopeless. Barely at all into the story and the main character failed to solve a basic caesar cipher, then got lost less than a mile from his own house, before even wandering into the forest, mind you. I'm betting that he also found some mushrooms near a tree, and ate them. That would explain why he managed to get lost, and found a Taco Bell in the middle of a forest.

His friend planted the seed because he made the encoded message, and, frustrated by his friend's incompetence at solving it, casually mentions Taco Bell, in hopes that it would ring a bell in that mind-numbingly empty head of his. This led to him dropping the puzzle, wandering out, hungry for Taco Bell, eating hallucinogenic mushrooms from the tree in his back yard, and crack-dreaming a forest Taco Bell. He's probably going to get eaten by a bear and complain that he's getting blood on his shirt, then God and the devil will bicker over who has to deal with this moron, ultimately landing him in eternal purgatory. The grim reaper slapping his own face in a gesture of irritation. His friends playing on their smartphones at his funeral, then never mentioning him again. He still wants Taco Bell. He'll never get it, though, because he's too fucking stupid to navigate his own town, let alone solve a caesar cipher.