Emiya motivation

―――I saw many corpses.
I died at that time and was reborn.

I do not have any regrets.
My eyes lost hatred there.
My hands lost anger there.
My legs lost hope there.
My self lost its self there.

Everything went away.
It is not because I gave up that I believed nothing would save me.
I just found out that it's natural.
It's just that dying people will die and survivors will survive.
I laid down on the rubble and stared at the burning field.
I understood everything then.
I thought I understood everything.

――――But I still considered it...
How wonderful it would be...
If I was able to save everything here.

That's what I admired.
I just wished nobody would have to suffer.
That's why I tried to become a superhero.
It was simple, and it seemed like an ideal existence.

That was why I aimed for it.
I knew where I had to be, but there were many ways to get there.
I kept on running, wanting to get as close to it as possible, even though I did not know what was right or wrong.

Many paths I took were crooked, and my destination was only getting farther away.
I'm taking the long way.
I've been repeating this for ten years since I got saved by Kiritsugu.

But I won't regret it.
I'm not as skillful as Tohsaka.
I will take the wrong path and lose a lot of things at times.
But I cannot discard them as meaningless.
I have to present meanings for everything I've trampled upon and everything that cannot be returned.

So I cannot lose.
It can't be helped if I lose against someone else.
But I can win against myself. I can always fight back against my mind that tells me to give up.
So that's all I swore upon.
There's only one thing that I believed in and wanted to believe in.

...That's right.
Even if I am walking down the wrong path, I will not regret believing in it.