Egg_Discord

The Worst Christmas Ever

Dec 5th, 2017
117
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  1. >It was Christmas Eve
  2. >You were staring at the fireplace, contemplating throwing yourself into the flames.
  3. >It was nearly Christmas Day and your wish to Santa still hadn't been granted.
  4. >You sent him a letter this year, asking him to make you into a cute little pony.
  5. >You were so depressed throughout the year that you decided it was the only option left.
  6. >Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door, the clock striking midnight.
  7. >Curious, you head for the front door and open it.
  8. >It's Santa Claus. He's real?!
  9. >"HO HO HO!" He said merrily, because his expression became rather serious and his tone lowered. "Listen, Anon, we need to talk."
  10. >Confused, you allow Santa to enter your home as he sits on a chair, taking a deep breath.
  11. >"Listen, Anon, you're 32 years old. You have no job, no income and yet the only thing you've wished for is to become a pony, just like you have for the past 7 years."
  12. >You see him face palm, trying to have a lot of patience with you as he sighs heavily.
  13. >"Is this really what you want? You know that there's no taking this wish back once you make it and I have no idea what will happen if I grant something like this."
  14. >It was clear from his tone that he was just sick and tired of getting your letters in the mail and just wanted to be done with you.
  15. >After thinking for a moment, you nod.
  16. >"Alright, then no matter what happens, I hold no accountability for the end result."
  17. >He starts doing his Christmas magic and you soon pass out.
  18. >"JANET! THIS ISN'T THE RIGHT COLOR! CHRISTMAS IS RUINED FOREVER!"
  19. >Jesus Christ, what is that Hellish noise?
  20. >You wake up to see some snot-nosed brat screeching like a banshee, throwing a tantrum in what appears to be a massive mansion.
  21. >"I WANTED A PINK PONY, NOT AN UGLY STUPID RED ONE!"
  22. >She has tears streaming down her face as she starts throwing presents and ornaments everywhere in a destructive rage.
  23. >A woman who appears to be the girl's mother tries to calm her down by meekly saying, "W-Well, maybe Santa didn't have any pink ponies this year, Hannah! Don't you wa-"
  24. >"SHUT UP, JANET, YOU STUPID BITCH! I TOLD SANTA I WANTED A PINK PONY FOR CHRISTMAS! I WANT A FUCKING PINK PONY FOR CHRISTMAS!"
  25. >As you try to block out the maniac's screeching, you notice you now have hooves. Red ones in fact. You get a look in a glass reflection to notice that you are now a red pony with a violet mane, and you're one fine ass mare at that.
  26. >Not that it matters to Little Miss Bitchy here
  27. >"I DON'T WANT HER! GET THAT STUPID ANIMAL OUT OF HERE!"
  28. >She then starts kicking you and punching you, which is more than you can take as you stand up and buck her into the wall.
  29. >She actually shut up.
  30. >Wait, it looks like she's dead, her lifeless limbs hanging limply out of a hole in the wall in a cartoony fashion.
  31. >The mother breaths a sigh of relief.
  32. >"Thank god. I thought she'd never die. Now I can sell the horse to our redneck neighbors for some more crack."
  33. >You were then shipped off to some trailer trash family in the middle of nowhere that had a hard on for ponies and often liked to recreate a gender flipped version of Mr. Hands starring you. Your life was a living hell.
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