PGI: mage man

It is a dark room.

Curtains fall, footsteps shuffle, and then... silence.

Two lights turn in, aimed at the center stage. The curtains part, and then, a single 웃 steps forth, into the spotlight.

"Behold! It is I, the traveller of perilous depths, conqueror of impossible possibilities, tamer of ferocious tiny lizards, eater of grand cuisines, adventurer of dangerous ventures, master of the mystical magical arcane arts, speaker of pristine purple prose, creator of ridiculously long sentences, undertaker of redundant statements of great redundancy, extraordinaire of overflowing egotism, maker of…”

...This goes on for a while. Let’s cut to the part where he actually finishes the sentence, why don’t we--

“EXCUSE ME GOOD SIR, I AM THE PINNACLE OF VICTORY. I. AM. MAGE MAN!”

What? Wait, did you just respond to me--

“And I have WON again! ...As I always do! It is only natural for me to win again!”

I’m... confused?

“Aha! You are an individual unfortunately ignorant of the glory that is I, :book:웃! Have no fear, for I am here! Now prepare yourself for mage man lesson number 1: I always win!”

I don't think I was asking for a lesson there... uh, I’m not the one that’s meant to ask questions, though. That’s a job for other people. ...I think.

“Oh, I see! ...Well then, whose questions shall I answer first?!”

Well, uh, let's see here...
____________________

Arisu: How did you and Void Man become such good friends and rivals?

"HE IS MY MORTAL ENEMY! DON'T YOU DARE SUGGEST WE ARE FRIENDS!"
"...He also ate the last doughnut on the last party we both attended to. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM FOR THAT!"
...Is that really the whole story?

Alkaid🌠: What is Red like?

"Aha! A divine inspiration! It tells me this: Why are you the one that is asking?"

Clara Rouge: "Mage Man?" That's a curious name - where'd you get it from? I'm not sure if that's your real name, but hey!

📖웃 grins. Well, he is grinning. He can also hear me right now, which makes describing him needlessly awkward.
...
Uh, moving along.
"YES, I AM GRINNING! Mage man is a glorious title that transcends the form you see here--"
We don't even know what you look like--
"-AHA! THAT IS BECAUSE OF MY INFALLIABLE DISGUISE!
https://i.imgur.com/ZJNsBjx.jpg
...Excuse me, how is that supposed to be a disgu--
"WITH THIS, MY TRUE FORM IS CONCEALED!"
...Yeah, um, there was a question here, right?
"...OH, YES, THERE WAS. HMM. GIVE ME A MOMENT."
Mage man is thinking critically now... apparently.
"Alas, the story of my name long transcends the mage man you see today. For it... is a title!"
"I am not the first mage man in existence, and I shall not be the last! For the sake of all mage mans, the glory of mage man shall reign forever!"
"To answer your question shortly: It is a title I have inherited! That is where my name, MAGE MAN, comes from!"

Alkaid🌠: How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll at the center of a Tootsie Pop™?

It once took me over one hundre--
"HEY THAT IS *MY* QUESTION TO ANSWER!"
"HMMM..."
"I MUST SEARCH THE SOUL TO FIND AN ANSWER..."
"THE ANSWER IS..."
"Why don't you find out yourself? Only YOU can find out the truth!"
But I just gave them an answe--
"SILENCE!"

Guillermo: A random big, angry man pops in: “D’ye think tha’ you can win against th’ oppressive, ‘ereditary tyranny tha’ plagues today’s society?”

"Tyranny? I don't know what you're talking about, but I DO regularly give money to the church for healing. They seem like a good group to me!"
I get the feeling that's not the group the big, angry man was talking about, but, oh well.

Sako: "Excuse you! Asking about Red is my job!"

Wait, this isn't a question, why are you about to respond to it--
"Ah! I see! Another enlightened individual dedicated to taking on jobs that everyone else deems nonsensical or silly! Perhaps we are kindred spirits, you and I!"

Halsey? Sherry?: "Oi, that's ~~Quadra's~~ Red's question!"

That's not a question either.
"WHAT ABOUT WE USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO GET COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC INSTEAD?"
...How about no.

Guillermo: ~~“Oi, who th’ ‘ell’s Red?”~~

"A divine revelation comes to me again! It says--"
It says that you are not the one meant to ask that question.
"HEY!"

Red, Flame Paladin: ...did Alk just beat me to the punch of my own question when I was actually planning to not ask anything at all this time?

Yes, yes he did.
"WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS 'ALK' PERSON? IS THAT A NAME? AN ANCRONYM?"
...I don't think I'll bother explaining to you...

Flamy: What inspired the concept of mage man?

Uh, I'm actually a voice inside of mage man's head. I'm surprised people assumed this voice that mage man is hearing is actually the will of some otherworldly entity beyond this world, or something. People usually just assume mage man is insane, and I might argue that people who assume I'm the will of an otherworldly entity are more likely to be a bit crazy themselves...
Anyways, I mean to say that I don't think I can properly answer the question, and I don't really even get your question in the first place--
[Yeah, but I can. Because I'm Kedata.]
WHAT THE HELL?! OKAY, AM I, THE VOICE INSIDE OF MAGE MAN'S HEAD, ALSO GOING INSANE?!
[I'm actually the will of an otherworld entity by comparison to you. I think that's how you'd view me. Don't worry, you'll probably forget about me soon enough. Anyways,  I CAN answer the question here. So, let's see...]
[It goes back to some time before alt accounts were banned. I had like 4 or so alts a week before the ~``merge`` command was implemented. "mage man" was literally a throwaway, silly name I used since he was original a +SPD loptyr bishop whose purpose was just to unlock the Dark Bishop promotion option for later on.]
[When the ~``merge`` command was implemented... uh... I tried to merge mage man to my main discord account, but the bot stopped responding midcommand. So, out of mild frustration, I typed in the ``done`` command, and... the alt account had no more mage man, and the merge failed to happen. I asked haru to see if she could recover it, but the original mage man was just instavoided from existance in the game files once I typed in ~``done``.]
[Here's a log about it] https://i.imgur.com/kv7UpTL.png
[That's where mage man comes from. As for how it turned into the idea it's become today...]
[Well, I made a new mage man. Mage Man MK II I believe he was called, who was also a loptyr mage just like the original mage man.]
[Being at least a week behind even the new characters made since `~addslots~ was first implemented, and with an awkward boon/bane, he was weak as hell by comparison and lost to most people.]
[So I would duel people (and Zea, too) and would say that 'mage man wins again' and lines like that. Even if the duel said he was defeated, well, he still won.]
[Things progressed from there and as much as a joke it can be sometimes, 📖웃 is an actual character in HaruFE. I've yet to unleash him into the RP world, however. This interview's actually a pretty good opportunity for me to get my own feel on roleplaying as mage man! It's a bit of an exercise in being a totally egotistical character, but it's also really fun to play as, so far I think this has been totally worth it.]

Arisu: “H.”

"What?! How DARE you insult me like this!"

Reyson: If there was a beach episode, would you want to be in it!? If so, watermelon smashing game or volleyball?

"I'm afraid the clamoring of the masses to see the glorious mage man in a BEACH EPISODE may be a difficult one! ...Although, in truth, mage man WILL be there! You just have to find me first."
"No matter what game I play, I will ALWAYS win! Still, I would choose VOLLEYBALL. I shall dunk the pitiful volleyball into the ground!"

Sako: "What's Red like?"

"Aha! Revelation hits me again! Not a divine one this time, but one that speaks to me from the SHADOWS!"
"You are an individual worthy of asking a question, and I... I SHALL GIVE YOU THE ANSWER!"
"The answer is..."
"Red is not as cool as mage man is. Red could try fighting me over this fact, but I'd just win."
"...Still! That would be a very interesting fight to have! I would have never imagined myself facing off in a duel against a COLOR! Hahaha! ...Now where's my paint and paintbrush?"

J0: So uhh, who are you?

"You have not realized yet?! No, impossible! I... I am... MAGE MAN!"
"I have been walking the realms of the world for a while now, spreading the glory that is myself!"
"Perhaps one day, the world will finally learn to bask in my glory! Haha!"
"Still, fewer people know me than I would like... perhaps an opportunity shall present itself one day..."

Alan, Boreal Spear: Also, *what* are you?

"I am 📖웃! Some may think or come to think me a god, but 📖웃 supersedes even gods! To this date, there may not be any other title greater than being 📖웃!"
Also, some people think he's just a human. He probably is... and, at the very least, it seems unlikely that he's a manakete or something along those lines.

Hitmonleet: On that topic, how are you?

"I'm as amazing and glorious as ever-- thank you for asking!"
Although he too can get tired after a long day, I hear. He does have a lot of self-confidence going for him, at least.

Nocturna, the Blue Vampire: Fine... *when* are you?

That question doesn't really make sense to me--
"THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ENLIGHTENED IN THE WAY THAT MAGE MAN IS!"
"When am I? I am now, here in the present! Prepare yourself world, the time of mage man is here!"

Hantu Kopek: It is nice to see two people being interviewed at once, just like me and my Shinigami... well, I just have a simple question. Do you like tea? What kind of tea is your favourite? Also, would you like to meet a demon? My Shinigami is not feeling well, so don't mind her.

You're mistaken. There's only one person here, and his name is--
"MAGE MAN!"
--yes, mage man. Again, I'm just a voice he has in his head. ...Although, now I'm confused, if others can hear me as well. Does that mean everyone else is insane? But if everyone else is insane... then doesn't insanity become the new norm?
"mage man is appreciative of the effects of tea. However! mage man picks not favorites out of types of tea."
"mage man has no need to meet a 'demon'. It sounds like a poor exercise to furthering the shining brilliance that is MAGE MAN."

Veyn, Heartless Soul: -INCOMPREHENSIBLE SCREECHING-

"Aha! I understand perfectly! ...Oh? Really? That's hilarious!"
"I never knew someone could communicate so much just from screaming! I might even go so far as to speculate that an entire language could be founded on different types of screeches!"
Were you actually making any sense from that?
"Yes!"
...Really? Can I have a translation?
"...No."

J0: Is Mage Man a force of Good or Evil?

"mage man is a force for MAGE MAN!"
Isn't good and evil subjective in the first place?
"mage man has no need to care over such concepts. What is 'good' and what is 'evil' is not a concern to one such as I."

Reiji: Is there a Physical Man?

"I know of no such title, nor of any such man."
You say that, but isn't mage man a made-up title...? I question the legitimacy of it at times...
"Whether or not the title of mage man is respected by others is irrelevant to the fact of its importance to one such as I. Widespread recognition has been a long time coming, but, whether or not I am great is independent from the praise or criticisms I may receive, for it is my own opinion that shall concern me first!"
He might be egotistical and self-centered, but it does give him very high self-confidence. There's not much need to get hung up over the opinions of other people that are only acquaintances at best, and it's not like everyone's going to like mage man anyways, so why fret over those negative opinions?
Of course, mage man as of right now is not known to have any closer friends or the like that he may care about the opinion of. Perhaps he'd be less... mage-man-y if he had someone he really cared about? ...Besides himself, that is.

Hantu Kopek: ...by the way, is Mage Man gay? I'd like to date him. He seems fun, doesn't he?

"I do feel pretty happy right now, and always in a bright mood!"
Wait, are you interpreting the word gay in the archaic sense?
"What? Mage man is in a positively positive mood right now! I have simply answered the first question!"
How about the date request?
...
Mage man? Hello?
...
...I think that's a no. If I, the voice in his head, were to guess anything, it's that mage man is too self-centered to be much of a romantic.

Arisu: If you got married, won't you then always lose to your wife?
Arisu: Because the wife is always right even when wrong therefore she always wins.

"Hmph. As if I would ever get married. Such an idea is inconceivable to me!"
To explain things further...
If mage man were to marry someone, in his mind he'd have to consider them someone equal to or at least comparable to him.
"And none compare to my infinite glory!"
Besides, if one were to ever compare to mage man, then...
"If such an unlikely OPPORTUNITY were to appear, then I, mage man, would have to groom and scout them for their POTENTIAL of being the next mage man! Marriage is but a silly thought in comparison to passing on the title of mage man to a worthy inheritor."

Sutara Io: MAGE MAN IS UNDEFEATED? I'D LIKE TO SEE HOW THOU FARETH AGAINST ME!! I HAVE DEVOTED MY LIFE TO HONING MY BLADE... COMETH AT MY PERSONS, MOTHERFUCKER

"AHA! A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS! COME, FACE ME IN THIS EXERCISE IN FUTILITY, FOR MY VICTORY IS GUARANTEED!"
"BY THE LINGERING SHADOWS. BY MY OVERWHELMING WILL. BY THE POWER OF THE INFINITE ABYSS. FOR THE NAME OF MAGE MAN..."
"YOU, TOO, SHALL FALL BEFORE ME!"
And even then, no matter how powerful his display may be in battle, in the back of one's mind must they remember that mage man is always holding back his true power, for the world may quake if it were to be completely unmasked...
Well, at least, I think that's at least the supporting dialogue that mage man would want me to give him. Good luck, challenger. mage man always winning is one of the few things I readily agree with mage man on, so your defeat has already been assured.

Alkaid: *Whispers.* "Void Man."

"WHAT? I DIDN'T HEAR YOU! I AM TOO BUSY MONOLOGUING ABOUT HOW I'M TOTALLY GOING TO WIN THIS DUEL TO HEAR!"
...I will say, it is pretty interesting-- and even funny-- to see you in a duel, mister mage man.

Ryuunotaki: Would you rather fight one void man-sized ant, or a thousand ant-sized void men?

"What? What's the difference? I mean, I'm winning either way..."
But think, the tiny void men could eat all of the doughnuts in the world before you won...
...Holy shit, your face is actually going pale! Haha! Man, and I'm the voice that gets to describe that fact to everyone else, too.
"...N-no... not the doughnuts!..."
"..."
"...I would rather fight the  void-man sized ant, then..."
Wow, being downtrodden isn't like you, you know. Cheer up! At least you know that you'll win no matter the fight, right?

Callisto: Um, Hello Sir Mage Man? It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. So what exactly do you do? Are you apart of any military or are you simply a loner?

"YES. IT IS I! I AM GLAD TO MEET THOSE THAT ARE ALSO GLAD TO MEET ME!"
"What I do may be beyond the comprehension of any ordinary invididual... HOWEVER! MAGE MAN is capable of MANY DIFFERENT THINGS! For now, I am a traveller just like many others! Monsters are many in these times, and it is only natural for I to prevail against them around the world!"
And doing so helps you afford any day-to-day expenses you might have.
"MILITARY? THERE IS NO FORCE GREATER THAN I!"
He's... nah, he doesn't belong to any military organization.

☆StarmakerJasper☆: Slot 5 asks: "ｗｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ａｌｕｃａｒｔ ｓｗｏｒｄ?"

"Mage man does not know! However..."
"YOU MUST BELIEVE YOU CAN FIND IT! IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN, YOU NEVER WILL!"

Ryuunotaki: Mister Mage Man...
Ryuunotaki: Give me a dream!

"Aha! If you are so inclined to ask, I, mage man, could very much so concoct a DREAM for you!"
"Just give me a strand of your hair and sign here at the bottom of the scroll, and I'll get to work STRAIGHT AWAY!"
The scroll appears to have an obscene amount of terms and conditions and fine print on it... do you want to read any of it?
Y/N

Bree: Make him the winningest that I've ever seen
Bree: Give him two books of magic and wonder
Bree: And to oppose him is clearly a blunder!
Bree: Mage man... I wish to atone!
Bree: Don't have a vict'ry to call my own
Bree: Please turn on your magic beam
Bree: Mister mage man, bring me a dream!

"DID YOU JUST MAKE ME A THEME?"
If you start with the initial lyrics of the first question: 'Mister Mage Man... Give me a dream!'...
Well, it sounds like a bard could make a nice tune out of it.
"OTHERWORLDLY REVELATIONS FROM THE BEYOND TELL ME THAT THE LYRICS COME FROM AN UNKNOWN LAND!"
What?
"THE BARDS OF THE WORLD SHALL SING SONGS AND TALES OF ME! IT IS ALREADY HAPPENING! HAHAHA!"

Arisu: Mage Man Mage Man on the wall, who is the strongest of them all?
Arisu: Mage Man Mage Man of the lore, who wins the most between H?

"AHAHAHAH, MORE SINGING! MORE, MORE!"
Those are questions, you know.
"YES!"
"MAGE MAN IS THE STRONGEST OF THEM ALL!"
"AS FOR 'H', I DO NOT COMPREHEND WHAT YOU MEAN, BUT REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCE, THE WINNER IS ALWAYS MAGE MAN."
I... thought you took insult from 'H'.
"DID I?"
...You forgot?!

[11:52 AM] Red | Izaya: :kassgasm:?

"I am the greatest of dark magic users! I am the greatest in EVERYTHING! Servants of Loptyr who claim ambition while willingly putting themselves unto subjugation are nothing to somebody who is already perfect!"
So that's how you interpreted... that? Also, wait, are you saying that face is related to Lopt--
"YES!"
That comment about 'subjugation', though... is that a part of the reason why you're a lone traveler? Why you have no liege?
"I can do whatever I want! I'm the master of myself, no matter what position I may end up in! Additionally, I have not divined any reason to offer my grand services to another in such a fashion, but perhaps one day there will be such an individual worthy for me to serve."
Huh... wait, why am I the one asking questions now?
"I DO NOT KNOW!"

BunnyBunnyUguu: 📖웃 vs a, who wins? :thonk:

mage man wins. mage man always wins.
"My victories are always inevitable, and I always win!"
How do you always... win in the first place?
"By being mage man!"
I still don't get it...
"In truth, I do appreciate a good CHALLENGE! If this 'a' entity or individual were to face me, perhaps they would learn something from it!"
A challenge?
"Yes, I SHOW RESTRAINT and HOLD BACK to make FIGHTS more CHALLENGING for me!"

Red Moman: Hey book boy, I heard rumors that you're not even a man, you're actually a woman- what are your thoughts on this? :corrinpeek:

"IMPOSSIBLE! WHO WOULD SUGGEST SUCH A THING?"
Well, he just did.
"MAGE MAN IS MAGE MAN. NOT MAGE WOMAN. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!"
Makes me wonder. Would it really matter if the next mage man was, well, actually a man?
"As long as they are WORTHY, that is a trivial concern! However, mage man is still mage MAN!"

Junipher Belrose: Do you have brothers and stuff?! Like, can we meet Axe Man, or Sword Man, or Hard Man and all that sorta deal?! I'd love to meet Axe Man and train with them if that's the case!!

Oh look, mage man's squinting now. Y'know, like, he's got a pretty solid :squint~1: going on right now.
"Axe Man? Sword Man? Hard Man?"
And now he's starting to mumble about something.
"...Did someone hear of my alternate identities?!"

Alkaid🌠: "H."

I could pretend that is not just a single letter pronounced and suggest it's actually something inspirational, but that's just so silly--
"INSPIRATIONAL! WOW! I FEEL SO *MOVED*!"
He's... grinning? Okay...
"AFTER SUCH A SPEECH, I WILL CONTINUE TO GIVE MY ALL!"
But I thought you're one that... perpetually holds back. That makes no sense.
"...ADDENDUM! I WILL NOW PROCEED TO HOLD BACK LESS THAN BEFORE!"

Euler: "It is a pleasure to meet you Mage Man, for I am... Euler! It is always so refreshing to see someone else so devoted to magic. Now tell me, what sort of advances have you mage in the field of magic, and..." Euler looked around, making sure no one else was present. "Would you be interested in trying out one of my new tomes, I call it.... CALCULUS!"

"I am a specialist in using magic to fight in the most FLASHIEST WAY IMAGINABLE! That's the advances I have made in magic! Hahahahaha!"
You... uh, you certainly have your own, unconventional way of fighting... yet, it seems to work for you...
But, excuse me, don't you favor dark magic? On technical terms, wouldn't dark magic be anything but flashy?
"AHAHAHA! Dark magic is not limited to merely literal shadows and darkness, I'll have you know! Besides, with EXCELLENCE and CREATIVITY, one can make anything flashy!"
"...That surely INCLUDES this mysterious tome called CALCULUS! Ahaha, lend me your tome, and I'll make EVERYONE love and understand the infinite, new, and mysterious power of CALCULUS!!!"

Loaf, The Pure Bread Corgi: Woof! Woof!

mage man's face goes pale.
"Wha... what's this?!"
It's a dog. Corgi, apparently. Name: Loaf.
...Hey, why are you shaking?
"This... this is..."
**"A DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG!"
*"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"***
W-why are you screaming like this?
"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND???? THIS IS CLEARLY A... LOST DOG! THAT MEANS.... **AN ADVENTURE!!!!!"**
"I must partake in a QUEST to find the OWNERS of this dog! It is a mission most worthy of one such as MAGE MAN!"
"HAVE NO FEAR LITTLE CORGI, MAGE MAN IS HERE, AND MAGE MAN WILL FIND YOUR OWNERS!"
Unless the dog's just some stray...

Reiji: If mage man fights mage man, who wins?

"mage man always wins! It is an ABSOLUTE!"
You must have some unbelievably remarkable mental fortitude, to have a mind as delusional yet resolute as yours, over what seems to be the most ridiculous of things...
Makes me wonder if there's a part of you that could actually be inspirational to others. You're unconventional and odd, but you hold a unique strength to you that you could impart onto others... right?
"If I were to teach or inspire others, I would win at that too! Mage man would do what mage man can to let others learn in such an occasion, for helping other growths is the biggest victory one can have as an INSTRUCTOR!"

Ryuunotaki: You say fine print, but is there even anything in this day and age that can print *fine*?

"*MAGE MAN* can print fine!"
His handwriting is actually extremely refined. It's like he's actually well-educated or something.
"MAGE MAN'S KNOWLEDGE IS VAST AND GREAT! MUCH GREATER THAN YOU MAY EXPECT!"
Perhaps the way he behaves may make people underestimate just how much knowledge he actually haves of this world...
Anyways, do you still want to read the fine print of the terms and conditions of the scroll in order to give mage man permission to concoct a dream for you? It also requires you giving mage man a strand of your hair, mind you.

Kassandra Arahan: "My ambition and the gratitude to My Lord do not have to be as oil and water. You seem to be very confident in your abilities, I would like to test them in the battlefield."

"Your devotion to Loptyr is nothing compared to my drive to WIN! Face me if you wish in combat, I'll show you the difference in our abilities even when I'm HOLDING BACK!"
What if she was suggesting you fight on the same side as her?
"Hah! As if I have any need to work in a cult!"
You're oddly... combative?
"I face another who claims the moniker of DARK BISHOP. If I am to be challenged by one such as her, I must show which one of us is the more formidable of an opponent!"
So in the end, it's all about being the best, huh?

Bree: Hey mage man, does your interview end tomorrow?

THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS LOADING...
"Huh? Did the voice inside my head just get stuck in a loop?"
"..."
"Hrm... how vexing for mage man. Usually it is I with such outlandish responses..."
"Either way, indeed, this 'interview' of I ends TOMORROW! What that means is... ASK WHATEVER QUESTIONS YOU WANT BEFORE TIME *RUNS OUT!*"

Loaf, The Pure Bread Corgi: Arf! Arf!
Loaf's tail wags as it gazes up to Mage Man. He twirls in place, having his tongue hang out with a pant. His composure showed his entertained reaction to Mage Man's words and went along with it.

"HAHA! FOLLOW ME, LITTLE CORGI! SUCCESS AND VICTORY AWAITS!"
A dog is a mage man's best friend-- is that what this is?

Tsukiko Fluorspar: What a strange one you are. I hereby lay claim to the last doughnut.

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!"
mage man has a doughnut in his mouth, as he snacks on it.
"I have had my share of doughnuts already! Thus, I have no need to eat the last one!"
Although I do agree that he is a strange one.

Parrhesia: ```Chess.```

``Chess.``
"Chess! I accept this challenge!"
Chess.

Reiji: For my last two questions... favorite flavor of tome? And thoughts on water tomes?

"INFINITE DARKNESS!"
He likes dark tomes a lot.
"Also, water too can be a powerful TOME!"
Just look at the breath attacks from a manakete using a water dragonstone. It's powerful, no?
Being cut from a water blade is probably as bad as being cut by a blade of wind, or an actual metal blade... not to mention the idea of drowning or burning... well, there's pretty painful and horrific ways to die out there.
"I dedicate my time in figuring out how to make tome attacks more flashy, not more lethal! There are many things I could do with water-based attacks!"

J0: Has Mage Man ever met Ringo?
J0: I think if not, Mage Man would *love* to meet Ringo.

"I have not met a 'Ringo' individual before!"
Are you even the type of person that remembers people's names that well? Maybe you met him once, but actually forgot.

Parrhesia: ``1. e5``

Did you mean: ``1. e4``?

"Aha! Black took the initiative and MOVED FIRST! With the VANTAGE skill, I imagine!"
You think? I don't imagine that either of us are experts in ``Chess``-- I don't I really even understand the format well here...
"But I'm an expert in WINNING! I use the ``Summon Gigaqueen`` skill! My move is ``Q!xd8``!"

Veyn, Heartless Soul: Let's fight... I want your power...

An *eruption* of dark magic courses around mage man as he grins, circulated around him and dispersing up into the air. Actually, I think he's just doing that to be flashy, really.
"Do your worst, if you think you can!"
He's just... standing there, unmoving. Well, I mean, you could try ``attacking`` here, if you really wished.

Hantu Kopek: Please lose to her. She hates losing, and might go a bit insane.

By contrast, mage man always wins, but he's probably a bit insane regardless. Take my word for it as the voice he hears in his head!
But if mage man's opponent doesn't want to ``lose``, perhaps she could ``avoid`` a fight, here.

*A rather bizarre looking youth rises for the next question.*
Ringo: “Sir Mage Man! Sir Mage Man! With such a name and such a tale as yours, would you care to perhaps stun us with a snippet of a supremely spectacular moment in your successful story?”

"Something more spectacular than ME meeting YOU?! ...VERY WELL!"
"One day I was hired to deal with a pack of the ferocious Mauthe Doogs. In order to prevent them from harassing a travelling merchant, I went on the back of the pack leader, and RODEO'D the monster to a cliff, despite its vehement protests, where we BOTH ended up falling off the cliff!"
"Using my handy-dandy REWARP staff, I warped to a nearby TREETOP below, breaking my fall, and seeing the pack leader fall to its DOOOOOOOM! From there, I used DARK MAGIC to take care of the rest of the pack! Haha! How's THAT for a story! It's something to be expected from one as GLORIOUS as me, no?"

Parrhesia: ``2. Ra4.``

I believe mage man has a :squint~1: going on right now.
I wonder what his next move will be?
...
...
...
Okay, he's just thinking very intensely right now. I think this is going to take a while...

Veyn, Heartless Soul: ...

[This would be the point in Smash Ultimate where mage man would be spamming taunts at you, waiting for you to approach.]
WHAT? You again? Well... I'm not what you mean there entirely, but he sure is showing off, and waiting for an approach, if it's going to happen.

Ringo: “Ooooh... thrilling troubles, momentous moments, and the hints of some sort of deeper, dangerous truth to our protagonist? Perfect! The people may love such a comedy... do you have a rather interesting backstory, other than a long slew of bombastic victories?”

mage man actually frowns, for once.
"I have always won, and I'm always winning."
"...I am afraid my origin story shall remain a MYSTERY!"
``Your Support Rank with 📖웃 is not high enough to hear this conversation.``

Parrhesia: ``3. 0``

"3. 141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820"
I don't think there's a space on the board called: ``141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820``.
...Neither is there a space on the board called ``0``.
"It is simply beyond your comprehension!"
And are you sure you aren't just making stuff up, mister mage man?

Parrhesia: To 0 is to castle backwards, as any true Chess expert knows.
Parrhesia: ``4. Ra3!``

"Q!xe8#"
What? I still don't get it. What happened? I don't understand this ALGEBRAIC NOTATION!!!
"Perhaps the power of MATH and CALCULUS could help you understand such things!"
What? What does that have to do with Chess?
[This makes me tangentially think of my father a bit. He was a U.S. correspondence (snail-mail) chess champion once. He's even wrote a few chess books, the last one being called ``Play the Ponziani``-- he's always been a fan of that opening, apparently. A more niche and uncommon opening in chess, from what I understand.
Due to his age and brain damage/memory problems, a lot of the compiling and hard work was up to the other author of the book to do. Still, it's pretty cool, even if trying to read a chess book without understanding the algebraic notation and 'language' that is Chess.
Chess is something I only casually play at best. It's interesting to wrap my head around the strategy, even if I don't know chess openings that well nor spent a lifetime analyzing chess like my father has. I just take to strategy video games instead, usually.]

Hantu Kopek: So... I didn't quite get it, thought I'd ask again before you left. You want to hang out sometime and chat? My shinigami won't be there, so it'll just be you and me.

"mage man is open to the idea!"
I can't necessarily vouch that he's the best conversationalist, though. Who knows how such a thing would go?
____________________

		Curtain Call
...
"..."
...
"..."
No more questions.
"No more questions?"
Yes, no more questions.
"Huuuuuuuuuuuuuh? Are you saying that time RAN OUT?"
Yep, and there's no more questions to answer.
"Then, that means that my interview... is just about over. How... UNFORTUNATE."
All good things must come to an end. Well, they don't have to, but a lot of things seem to... uh, end, one day.
"But no matter what, I will always win!"
...
Anything else you would like to say?
"Thank you, sirs, madams, and everyone else! Winning a poll for these interviews may have been inevitable for, but it happened with your help!"
Despite his oddities, I do hope you actually enjoyed this interview, regardless of whether you voted for it or not.
[I mean, trying to let people enjoy watching the interviews is the least I could have done, right? I certainly had fun with it.]
That otherworldly third voice again... I'd ask questions about you, but I think I shouldn't. Instead, I'll ask mage man one more question: When may people finally see you walk the realms of Jugdral?
"Aha! It may be later rather than sooner, but have no fear, the debut of mage man is coming! You'll see how I'll perform on the grand stage that is the continent of Jugdral!"
[Hopefully. Anyways, thanks for participating!]