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Opt.2: Trevor, by TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace

Mar 5th, 2014
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  1. Trixiefag 02/26/14(Wed)01:33 UTC-5 No.16500000
  2. Replies: >>16500019 >>16500020 >>16500023 >>16500026 >>16500033 >>16500036 >>16500170 >>16525896 >>16535340
  3.  
  4. >>16499943
  5. if quints someone has to write GTA V Trevor option 2
  6.  
  7.  
  8. The Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)01:44 UTC-5 No.16529294
  9. Replies: >>16529324 >>16529411 >>16529426
  10.  
  11. >>16525998
  12. >>16526112
  13. >>16527342
  14. >>16525896
  15. >A new day in Los Santos.
  16. >People to kill, bitches to fuck, money to be made.
  17. >Some do it the traditional way, conventional careers, snobby internships…
  18. >Others choose a darker path, making a living off thievery and murder.
  19. >And then there’s him…
  20. >The fucking pitch black line that stains even the other evil bastards.
  21. >His name is Trevor Phillips.
  22. >And he’s one crazy-ass mother fucker.
  23. >Well… according to his peers.
  24. >And his mother.
  25. >And mostly every random passerby.
  26. >But that’s not the point.
  27. >The point is, he’s on the top of the food chain, and everyone looks up to him in the thief and murder world.
  28. >But he was taking today off to relax a little.
  29. >Trevor was on his way to the house of one Michael Townley.
  30. >Or De Santa, whatever the fuck his fake last name is nowadays.
  31. >A crushing thump reverberated through his truck as he drove down the road.
  32. >Turns out, he ran over some poor asshole.
  33. >He should have looked out for oncoming traffic.
  34. >”Oh well”, he thought.
  35. >The blood added to the historic value of his bumper.
  36. >After that was out of the way, he turned up the radio and put the pedal to the metal.
  37. >Trevor needed to be there right the fuck now.
  38. >For what reason, he didn’t know.
  39. >...
  40. >As he pulled up into the driveway leading to Michael’s house, he smelled something peculiar.
  41. >”That fucking smell…”
  42. >Trevor sniffed the air outside of his truck’s window.
  43. >“Is that weed?”
  44. >He sniffed some more.
  45. >“It is weed!”
  46. >Who in God’s name is smoking that weak shit?
  47. >He was now quite inclined to find that prick, and give him a piece of his mind.
  48. >The car door slammed as Trevor hurriedly made a dash for the front doors.
  49. >He didn’t even check to see if they were locked, and kicked them in, the glass cracking as they gave way to his brain-splattering boot.
  50.  
  51. >>
  52. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)01:47 UTC-5 No.16529324
  53. Replies: >>16529334 >>16529411
  54.  
  55. >>16529294
  56. >Almost immediately, Michael was off the couch and running into the foyer.
  57. >”Trevor? What the fuck are you doing?!”
  58. >“I smell weed Michael! And you of all people know how I feel about that pansy shit!”
  59. >He rolled his eyes, as if to mock him; then walked over to his now broken doors.
  60. >”You’ve gone and broke my seven hundred dollar doors! What the hell is wrong with you?”
  61. >Trevor took a few menacing steps toward his friend.
  62. >“This isn’t a joke to me! I need to correct this atrocity! AT. ANY. COST.”
  63. >Michael turned back to him, more than a little exhausted with his antics.
  64. >”Everything is a problem to you Trevor, no matter how small it actually is.”
  65. >He rubs his face with his aging hands, continuing.
  66. >”And when did I say you could come over here today?”
  67. >Leaning in toward Michael, Trevor pointed his finger at his face.
  68. >“I come over here any time I damn well please!”
  69. >Trevor suddenly sniffed the air, looking for the source of the offending substance.
  70. >Said substance decided to come looking for him first, however, as Michael’s fatass son Jimmy slithered down the stairs.
  71. >”Hey dad! What’s all this yelling about? It’s killing my buzz!”
  72. >Trevor rebounded to the source of the voice, as his face flashed with fury.
  73. >“You fat piece of shit! You’re the hash-tagger who’s been smoking that shit!”
  74. >Jimmy looked at him, realizing the mistake he’s made.
  75. >He attempted to hide the joint he had been smoking behind his back, but was too fucking late for hiding.
  76. >Trevor closed the distance between them before he could even blink, wrenching his arm out and taking the doobie from his fingers, holding it in front of him for effect.
  77. >“What the fuck did I say about putting that cheap, cancerous, repugnant crap in your mouth?”
  78. >Jimmy backpedaled in utter terror.
  79. >”H-hey, dad, help me out here!”
  80. >Michael stood there, crossing his arms.
  81. >”I didn’t even know you were still puffing, Jimmy.”
  82.  
  83. >>
  84. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)01:48 UTC-5 No.16529334
  85. Replies: >>16529350 >>16529411
  86.  
  87. >>16529324
  88. >Trevor interrupted the father and son before they could get into one of their famous squabbles.
  89. >”Who cares when he started again? Jimmy, you little shit; where are you keeping the rest of that?!”
  90. >Jimmy looked like he was about to piss his pants.
  91. >”O-okay! Fine! If I tell you where my stash is, will you let go of my arm? It really hurts!”
  92. >Trevor looked at Jimmy with bulging eyes.
  93. “Good boy.”
  94. >”It’s upstairs... In my room.”
  95. >He didn’t let go of his arm, though. Trevor dragged him up the stairs with Michael following behind.
  96. >The three made their way to Jimmy’s room, his TV blaring Righteous Slaughter 7, along with an ashtray with hash ash stinking up the place, and a laptop over in the corner displaying some questionable cartoony content.
  97. >Once they reached the room, Trevor dropped Jimmy; then he began sniffing the air like a wild dog.
  98. >He must have the nose of a bloodhound, because he found the stash within seconds, a huge block in his mini fridge freezer.
  99. >”Well, lookie what we have here.”
  100. >Michael snorts and rolls his eyes.
  101. >”I’m not sure why I’m even surprised at this point. So much for therapy...”
  102. >Trevor began to pace around the small room, ranting and raving about the marijuana in Jimmy’s possession.
  103. >”I’ve told you so many times that-”
  104. >He halts his triad of angry outbursts, and began to stare at Jimmy’s open laptop.
  105. >Michael and his son looked over to where Trevor was staring.
  106. >”That…”
  107. >Trevor approached the laptop, tantalized by the image on the screen.
  108. >It was a picture of a pony. A pony with white fur and a rather… celestial mane.
  109. >Not to mention, a humongous round pair of cheeks.
  110. >To a normal person, it might just be a portrait of a cartoon pony; but to Trevor…
  111. >...It was the sexiest thing he had seen for a long time.
  112.  
  113. >>
  114. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)01:50 UTC-5 No.16529350
  115. Replies: >>16529362 >>16529411
  116. File: 1393570257209.jpg-(6 KB, 227x222, bateman17.jpg)
  117. GI
  118. 6 KB
  119.  
  120. >>16529334
  121. >Jimmy spoke up, mortified.
  122. >”U-uncle T! It’s not what it looks like!”
  123. >The insane man didn’t even bother to turn around as he responded.
  124. >”Oh, it’s exactly what it looks like, Jimbo; what it looks like…”
  125. >Trevor finally reaches the laptop, his face as close as it can be without pressing against the screen.
  126. >”...Is the most perfect ass I’ve seen in a while!”
  127. >JImmy looked on, dumbfounded.
  128. >”Uhh…”
  129. >Michael, unable to see the picture clearly, approached where Trevor was standing.
  130. >”You’ve gotten me curious now, T. What’s so perfect about it?”
  131. >The balding man snaps around to where his friend was behind him.
  132. >”Back off, asshole!”
  133. >Before either Michael or Jimmy could react, Trevor grabbed both of them and shoved them out of the room.
  134. >”Trevor, what the hell?!”
  135. >”I need privacy!”
  136. >He slammed the door in both of their faces and locked it.
  137. >Trevor ignored Michael and his son’s calls from the other side of the door as he returned to Jimmy’s computer.
  138. >Without so much as a second thought, he was already undoing his belt, taking a nice comfortable seat in his “nephew”’s chair.
  139. >”Good grief! She’s makin’ me randy! Gh.. Whoa, what’s this here?”
  140. >Trevor squints his eyes to look over some text next to that big, round, white ass.
  141. >It was talking of two different options.
  142. >According to the text, the first option would involve him being sent to a place called “Equestria”, though the ponies wouldn’t have any genitals, and sex did not exist.
  143. >”Fuck that shit.”
  144. >The second option involved the pony coming to the person reading, scared at first of course, but would fall in love with the receiver given time, but could not be seen by anyone else lest they be taken away.
  145. >That hit all the right buttons in Trevor’s twisted little mind.
  146. >”Now that’s what I’m talking about…”
  147. >It was time for the fun to begin.
  148. >”Come to pappa…”
  149. >Out pops pappa, getting fondled once again.
  150.  
  151. >>
  152. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)01:52 UTC-5 No.16529362
  153. Replies: >>16529374 >>16529411
  154.  
  155. >>16529350
  156. >Eventually, the calls from behind the door cease after hearing what was transpiring, leaving him to his business.
  157. >It doesn’t get long for Trevor to get lost in his fantasies.
  158. >So lost that he didn’t notice the sudden smell of cheetos, sweat, and Axe body spray invade the room.
  159. >”So… option two it- WHOA! What the fuck are you doing?!”
  160. >Trevor turned around, dick in hand, and took in the figure standing before him. He was short and fat, not unlike Jimmy, but with greasy, curly hair poking out from under his unwashed fedora and tickling the collar of his disgusting trenchcoat that was two sizes too small, and under that a shirt that simply said ‘IWTCIRD’ in bold, rainbow-colored letters.
  161. >”Why? Want to give me a hand?”
  162. >Trevor heard something wet plop onto the floor. Expecting to find that the man soiled himself, he instead found a pile of spaghetti leaking out onto the floor from the man’s pockets.
  163. >”...And I thought I hadn’t snorted anything this morning.”
  164. >”Can you get your hand off your dick, already!?”
  165. >Trevor had still been pumping subconsciously until he pointed it out.
  166. >He kept pumping regardless, staring right at him.
  167. >”Makes you uncomfortable, you fucking stalker?”
  168. >The intruder looks as if he is about to vomit.
  169. >”Agh, oh god… They don’t pay me enough for this fucking job…”
  170. >Trevor slowly started to stalk towards him.
  171. >”I can give you a handy if it makes you feel better… only five bucks. Best you’re gonna get.”
  172. >”What? No! Just, look you crazy freak, do you want the pony or not?”
  173. >Trevor looks at the fat, smelly stalker incredulously, as if he just went into a massive high.
  174. >”... Wait, wait a second. That shit’s real?”
  175. >He nods very quickly, stifling another round of vomit.
  176. >”I’m sorry I showed you my thingy, okay?”
  177.  
  178. >>
  179. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)01:54 UTC-5 No.16529374
  180. Replies: >>16529385 >>16529411
  181.  
  182. >>16529362
  183. >The trenchcoat clad figure composes himself.
  184. >”...Fine, can you put it away now?”
  185. >Trevor puts his intimate parts back in his pants, then looks back at the bedroom intruder.
  186. >”Thank you… Okay, I trust you know the rules of the deal?”
  187. >He looks back at the screen for a moment, then back at the prudish fatass.
  188. >”You know, I read them over, but… There’s just something about it I don’t like.”
  189. >He approached the fat sack of shit, grabbed him by the throat, and shoved him against a wall.
  190. >As he proclaimed his next statement, he proceeded to bash his white knuckles into the sniveling weasel’s face for each word.
  191. >”TREVOR. PHILLIPS. DOESN’T. FOLLOW. RULES!”
  192. >So begins the bloodbath.
  193. >Before the hefty man could so much as drop to his knees from the powerful strikes, Trevor lifts him up by his throat with both hands, and tosses him like a ragdoll into Jimmy’s new TV, shattering the glass and covering him in its shards.
  194. >He then proceeds to take a few steps towards him, pretending to bare down on him with another punch. Once the OP flinches, however, he brings his fist back, and kicks him upward right onto his nose, shattering the cartilage and spraying blood everywhere.
  195. >The OP cried out in agony, his sweaty sausage-fingers trying to stop the sudden torrent of the liquid of love, but didn’t get a chance as Trevor grabs him by his wrist and yanks with primal fury, sending him back up to his feet and fracturing his carpal bones.
  196. >Trevor uppercutted him as he stood, silencing his pitiful cries, as well as making him bite a corner of his tongue off.
  197. >A little meat and a new torrent of blood falls from his destroyed mouth, and he falls on his ass, wallowing in his own fluids.
  198. >Finally, Trevor reared back with an extra step for good measure, and slammed his boot directly into the OP’s chest, audibly cracking a few ribs and keeping him pinned to the ground.
  199.  
  200. >>
  201. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)01:55 UTC-5 No.16529385
  202. Replies: >>16529394 >>16529411
  203.  
  204. >>16529374
  205. >”WELL THEN! That got my blood pumping, didn’t it?! Now… onto business.”
  206. >Trevor reached down and picked him up by his beard hair, eliciting a whole new set of anguished screams, but successfully getting him back on his feet.
  207. >”Give me what I want without those cheap-ass downsides, and I might stop.”
  208. >The intruder, now bloody and bruised, nodded groggily.
  209. >After dazily digging around in his trenchcoat for a while, he produced a medium sized sack.
  210. >Trevor eyed it suspiciously.
  211. >”You aren’t fucking me on this, right boy? This bag is smaller than Floyd’s dick!”
  212. >The magic that produced the bag from within his trenchcoat flashed around the battered man’s form, and he vanished from Trevor’s grasp before he could retaliate.h
  213. >”Shit! How the fuck did he do that?!”
  214. >All of a sudden, there was a very loud knock on the door, followed by Michael’s voice.
  215. >”TREVOR! I don’t know what kind of kinky shit you do when you’re taking care of business, but what the hell was all that noise?”
  216. >Jimmy decided to chime in too.
  217. >”Yeah, I heard glass breaking! There better not be spunk on my computer, Uncle T!”
  218. >Trevor merely grunted at their accusations as he licked his bloody knuckles, striding over to the sack and kneeling beside it.
  219. >After finishing with his after-fight meal, he starts untying the sack with impatient curiosity and lust.
  220. >”Alright, I bagged me one order of big, juicy white pony ass; show me the money--”
  221. >Trevor’s face that once held a magnificently devious smirk fell into a countenance of confusion, disappointment, and finally, anger.
  222. >”WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!”
  223.  
  224. >>
  225. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)01:56 UTC-5 No.16529394
  226. Replies: >>16529411 >>16529470 >>16530639
  227.  
  228. >>16529385
  229. >This wasn’t a pony princess! This wasn’t a pony at all!
  230. >It was some….. weird-ass lion bird thing.
  231. >A weird-ass lion bird thing that was starting to wake up.
  232. >”Alright… who’s the dweeb who’s going to get a flank-kicking…?”
  233.  
  234. The Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)04:25 UTC-5 No.16530639
  235. Replies: >>16530646
  236.  
  237. >>16529394
  238. >>16529411
  239. >>16530622
  240. >”Mother of fuck, it talks! Or am I hallucinating again?”
  241. >Trevor extended his arms and started flapping them like a bird, giving a great big ‘KAW!’
  242. >”Uuh… Dude, what are you even doing?”
  243. >The flapping begins to slow as he glares at the gryphon, eventually stopping.
  244. >”Nope, definitely not hallucinating. Otherwise I’d be at the Vanilla Unicorn roof sword fighting with King Arthur and his bitch Merlin.”
  245. >The lion-bird looked at him, even more befuddled now.
  246. >”King Arthur? Merlin? Who are they, and why should I care? Wait, what are you even, some sort of hairless ape thing?”
  247. >”What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”
  248. >She looked taken aback, but she quickly restored her composure.
  249. >”First off, I think you meant to say ‘buck’, not-”
  250. >”I meant FUCK!”
  251. >Again, she started to back away a bit, but did her best to keep her cool.
  252. >”Okay, ‘fuck’, whatever. Now tell me where I am before I give you a knuckle-sandwich, weirdo!”
  253. >A sudden stillness enters the air, and the lion-bird instantly regretted her words.
  254. >”ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!”
  255. >The sheer volume of his voice rattled the room with its vibration.
  256. >She shrunk back immediately, her tomboy exterior shattering in favor of pure, unadulterated fear.
  257. >”Trevor! Is there someone else in there? I hear another voice!”
  258. >The sound of Michael’s voice resonated from outside the door.
  259. >”Fuck off, I’m trying to watch porn!”
  260. >Jimmy’s voice called out this time.
  261. >”You’d better not get any viruses on my computer!”
  262. >”Oh I’m going to get SOMETHING on your computer if you don’t SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
  263. >That little banter allowed the gryphon to regain some of her fortitude.
  264. >”You’re a very angry guy, aren’t you?”
  265. >Trevor only grumbled in response, proving her point.
  266. >”You still didn’t answer my-”
  267. >All he had to do was give her that look.
  268.  
  269. >>
  270. The Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)04:26 UTC-5 No.16530646
  271. Replies: >>16530654
  272.  
  273. >>16530639
  274. >”... Uhm, if it’s alright to ask... where am I?”
  275. >”Michael’s house.”
  276. >She regarded him with a raised brow.
  277. >”Okay… then where is Michael’s house?”
  278. >”Here.”
  279. >She closed her eyes for a moment, then tried again.
  280. >”Okay, but where is here?”
  281. >”Michael’s house.”
  282. >The lion-bird groaned in frustration.
  283. >”I’m just busting your balls.”
  284. >”I don’t have-”
  285. >”You’re in Los Santos, baby!”
  286. >She looked a little confused, to say the least.
  287. >”Wait… Don’t you mean Las Pegasus?
  288. >”Don’t correct me! I DON’T like to be corrected!”
  289. >The bird-lion didn’t back away this time. One too many barks without any bites, and she thought this guy was all talk.
  290. >Out of nowhere, a thump echoed through the room.
  291. >“I’m getting really sick of your shit, Trevor!”
  292. >Michael had busted down the door with a kick that could rival Trevor’s mighty boot.
  293. >”DAD! YOU ASSHOLE! THAT’S MY DOOR!”
  294. >Jimmy’s father turned around, giving his son a stern look.
  295. >”I’m doing this for you, you little shit. You’re lucky I even keep you around after the anesthetic incident.”
  296.  
  297. >>
  298. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 02/28/14(Fri)04:27 UTC-5 No.16530654
  299. Replies: >>16530698 >>16561800
  300.  
  301. >>16530646
  302. >Trevor turned to face the now broken door.
  303. >”Don’t forget when he let those jackass steal your yacht, Michael.”
  304. >Michael grunted.
  305. >”That’s an event I’d rather forget.”
  306. >Jimmy nodded.
  307. >”Same here.”
  308. >Michael rolled his eyes, then looked towards his “friend”.
  309. >His eyes widened at the sight before him.
  310. >”Trevor… What. The. FUCK have you been doing here?”
  311. >Trevor scratched at the back of his head.
  312. >”You know… stuff… things.”
  313. >Michael could hardly form a coherent sentence.
  314. >Jimmy pushed past his dad, and once he saw what was in his room, his jaw hit his neck fat.
  315. >“Is… is that… holy fuck, it’s Gilda!”
  316. >”’Gilda’? What’s a ‘Gilda’?”
  317. >Michael looked to Trevor for answers, but he only shook his head in ignorance.
  318. >”Hey! How do you know my name, you tub of lard?”
  319. >Trevor and Michael looked to Jimmy with curious gazes.
  320. >He ignored them both, deciding to examine gilda closer.
  321. >”This is like, every brony’s dream come true! I can’t believe you’re here!”
  322. >Michael looked at his son, even more confused than a moment ago.
  323. >”Jimmy, what the fuck are you on about…?”
  324. >He faced his father and took a deep breath, trying to withhold his excitement.
  325. >”If I show you… do you promise not to laugh?”
  326. >”I don’t.”
  327. >Michael glared at Trevor, before looking back to Jimmy.
  328. >”No promises.”
  329.  
  330. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 03/01/14(Sat)21:25 UTC-5 No.16561800
  331. Replies: >>16561856 >>16561928
  332.  
  333. >>16530654
  334. >>16530698
  335. >>16559661
  336. >”Well, you see…”
  337. >Jimmy paused as he thought how to explain the situation.
  338. >“It would be easier to just show you.”
  339. >He turned to pick up his tv remote, and stopped dead in his tracks.
  340. >”M-my TV! Trevor!”
  341. >Trevor sneered.
  342. “That’s Uncle T to you; have some respect for your elders!”
  343. >Jimmy raises his voice, agitated by the fact that he had just lost another television because of someone else’s rage.
  344. >”My TV, man! I just got that!”
  345. >”Oh please! You can afford another! Just kiss daddy’s ass a little, I’m sure he’ll get you a new one.”
  346. >It didn’t take long for Gilda to pipe up.
  347. >”Can we just move on with what in the world you are trying to explain, you fat dweeb?!”
  348. >Trevor clapped his hands together and cheered.
  349. >”I’m with the bird, get on with it!”
  350. >Gilda glared back at him.
  351. >”I’m a Gryphon, you dolt.”
  352. >Trevor was about to go off on her, before Michael spoke up.
  353. >”Why don’t we just use the projector downstairs for what you need to show us?”
  354. >Jimmy sighs.
  355. >”Yeah, whatever…”
  356. >Michael led the group out to the living room, home to the fanciest of the entertainment essentials.
  357. >Jimmy picked up the remote control off the coffee table and sat on the sofa beside his three companions.
  358. >He then flipped on the projected television, switching to his account to access his recorded database.
  359. >Gilda’s eyes went wide, subtly leaning forward at the massive ‘portal’ that appeared in front of her.
  360. >”Whoa… Now that’s really cool- er… I’ve seen better, though, yeah. Not many living things can do magic like that.”
  361. >Michael and Trevor did a double-take at her, while Jimmy suppressed a childish giggle.
  362. >”Magic…? Now, I know I’m the meth head; but that is ridiculous. It’s just a fuckin’ TV.”
  363.  
  364. >>
  365. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 03/01/14(Sat)21:27 UTC-5 No.16561856
  366. Replies: >>16561874
  367.  
  368. >>16561800
  369. >Gilda looked over to Trevor, glowering at his accusation.
  370. >”What? What do you mean it’s ridiculous, you old ape? Also, what the buck is a TV? I keep hearing that being tossed around.”
  371. >Jimmy joined the conversation at this point.
  372. >”That’s not the only thing that gets tossed around when my dad gets mad!”
  373. >He gives an awkward giggle.
  374. >Michael promptly gave him a hard whop across his head, eliciting a girly scream from his son.
  375. >”Just show us what you were going to show us! It’s taken long enough already, for fuck’s sake.”
  376. >Gilda gritted her teeth, and her talons gripped into tight fists.
  377. >”Hey, don’t just skip over my questions, you dorks!”
  378. >”Shut it, birdbeak! Show us, Jimmy-boy!”
  379. >Jimmy complied, and went through the needed actions to pull up an episode of a cartoon.
  380. >”So uh… What exactly are you trying to show us here, Jim?”
  381. >Jimmy snapped out of whatever trance he was in at the moment, and picked the remote back up.
  382. >”One second, dad. Let me skip ahead.”
  383. >After trying to skip through some unnecessary scenes, Jimmy dropped the remote.
  384. >Panic flashed across his chubby face as the cold open ended, and a hot-air balloon descended from the sky.
  385. >>”My little pony, my little pony…”
  386. >Michael’s face held the combined looks of shock, embarrassment, disgust, and utter disappointment in his son.
  387. >However, Trevor didn’t even bother to hold in his laughter. His lungs rocked the entire living room with their spasms.
  388. >”You… You actually watch this, don’t you!?”
  389. >Jimmy’s face flushed of all color.
  390. >”I-It’s a really g-good show, Uncle T…”
  391. >Michael threw his head back, covering his face.
  392. >”Fuckin’ A…”
  393. >Gilda was surprisingly silent through the whole thing.
  394. >She stared at the screen in what appeared to be heavy shock.
  395. >Trevor continued to torture his “Nephew”.
  396.  
  397. >>
  398. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 03/01/14(Sat)21:28 UTC-5 No.16561874
  399. Replies: >>16561899
  400.  
  401. >>16561856
  402. >”My little pony… My little pony… HAHAHAHAHA!”
  403. >As he continued to laugh, he fell onto his back, kicking his legs dangerously close to Michael’s face.
  404. >”Woah woah, watch where you’re wiggling those things!”
  405. >Trevor continued to laugh.
  406. >”I’ll put my feet wherever I want!”
  407. >After some time, Jimmy found the remote laying under the coffee table.
  408. >He pressed the fast forward button as fast as his chubby fingers would let him.
  409. >Countless images of various colorful ponies flew by; after a while, Jimmy reached the point he was looking for.
  410. >The same hyperactive pink horse from earlier was trotting down a dirt path, wearing a ridiculous pair of glasses.
  411. >She was blowing through a party horn, and eventually stopped below a cloud.
  412. >The pink ball of fur began calling to the cloud, looking for a “Rainbow Dash”.
  413. >The familiar head of a certain bird-lion popped out from inside the cloud.
  414. >By this point, Trevor’s laughs had calmed down to the occasional chuckle; and Michael looked slightly less like he wanted to shoot himself.
  415. >Once this scene popped up, every member of the room, save for Jimmy, had the most intense look of shock on their faces.
  416. >Gilda especially.
  417. >”YOU LITTLE SNOT!”
  418. >Before anyone in the room could react, Gilda rose and kicked over the coffee table in front of the couch in a sudden burst of anger; before lurching forward and tackling Jimmy to the ground with her talons wrapped around his chubby throat.
  419. >”YOU SICK FREAK! I’LL TEACH YOU TO SPY ON ME AND MY FRIEND!”
  420. >She brought up a talon and balled it up into a fist, bringing it down on the teenager’s chubby face.
  421. >However, before she could get another punch in, a certain psychopath jumped into action.
  422.  
  423. >>
  424. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 03/01/14(Sat)21:29 UTC-5 No.16561899
  425. Replies: >>16561928 >>16590612
  426.  
  427. >>16561874
  428. >A pained ‘KAW!’ escaped Gilda’s beak as she felt a steel-toed boot bury into her side, sending her flying into the overturned table with such force that it broke in half.
  429. >”God dammit Trevor! I just bought that!”
  430. >”SHUT IT!”
  431. >The gryphon gasped desperately for air, having had the wind knocked out of her.
  432. >”No one… especially not some eagle cunt, messes with him!”
  433. >”Alright bird bitch, let’s see-”
  434. >Trevor was cut off by Michael stepping between the two of them.
  435. >”Calm down! I have enough shit to replace as is!”
  436. >He pushed away his balding infuriated friend from the wheezing avian.
  437. >Trevor panted in fury.
  438. >”Rrrgh… CUNT!”
  439. >”ENOUGH!”
  440. >Michael’s shout echoed through the house. Silence prevailed throughout the room, only the sound of Gilda’s wheezing breaking through. Even Trevor went silent, though he was still shaking with fury.
  441. >”That’s enough… frankly, I can see why she flipped out. If I saw that some stranger had a video of me, I wouldn’t be too happy, either.”
  442. >Michael then rounded on the bird behind him, who was now just starting to recover.
  443. >”And you…”
  444. >He approached the gryphon, who stood her ground, glaring up at him.
  445. >”...if you ever, EVER, touch my son again, I’ll put two bullets in your temple. Do you fucking understand me?”
  446. >Gilda remained silent, only nodding slightly.
  447. >A shrill voice came from the doorway.
  448. >”TREVOOOOR!”
  449. >Two women rounded the corner into the living room.
  450. >They were both in different age groups, one a few decades older than the other.
  451. >The older of the two spoke up.
  452. >”I swear, you break something every fucking time you come in here! Michael…”
  453. >She trailed off, as the other member of the duo spoke up.
  454. >”Is, is that some kind of dog?!”
  455.  
  456. Anonymous 03/03/14(Mon)03:04 UTC-5 No.16590612
  457. Replies: >>16590621 >>16590648
  458.  
  459. >>16561899
  460. >”DOG?! I’m a Gryphon!”
  461. >”What the hell is a Gryphon?”
  462. >Michael turned back to look at his wife and child, at the supposed ‘Gryphon’, and back again.
  463. >”Okay, this looks a little fucked up, doesn’t it?”
  464. >Amanda glared at him, crossing her arms.
  465. >”We already discussed this. We’re not getting a pet.”
  466. >She glanced over at Gilda with a raised brow.
  467. >”Especially not a talking… gryphon-- wait a second, aren’t they supposed to be… you know, not real?”
  468. >Just about everyone in the room gave each other confused looks, except for Gilda.
  469. >”I don’t know who you two are, and frankly I don’t give a flying feather! But if Gryphons weren’t real, then how would I be standing here!?”
  470. >Trevor bumped into the conversation.
  471. >”Maybe you aren’t a gryphon! You might just be a piece of magical shit that came out of the ass of that greaseball I demolished!”
  472. >”I CAME OUT OF WHAT?! Say that to my face, you gangly ape!”
  473. >Trevor immediately started towards her, but Michael held him back before he could do anything rash.
  474. >”Whoa whoa whoa, no more fighting on my property! In fact, why don’t you both get the hell out of here, I have a family to take to therapy now because of this shit.”
  475. >Amanda walked up to her husband, a glint of pure unadulterated bitch in her eye.
  476. >”Didn’t you KILL your last therapist? How will getting another help?”
  477. >Michael shut his eyes tight, trying not to snap back at her.
  478. >”Look, you two just, fucking go somewhere else right now, there’s too many problems in a single room and I can only deal with so much at once!”
  479. >Gilda crossed her arms vehemently, looking away from the group in disdain.
  480. >”There’s no way I’m going to go with Baldy McDweebhole, I’d rather go do my own thing.”
  481. >Michael approached the disgruntled lion bird softly, but stern.
  482. >”It’s either go with the psychopath, or get put into a sandwich at Cluckin’ Bell.”
  483. >Gilda furrowed her brow.
  484. >”Cluckin’ Bell?”
  485.  
  486. >>
  487. Anonymous 03/03/14(Mon)03:05 UTC-5 No.16590621
  488. Replies: >>16590648 >>16603129
  489.  
  490. >>16590612
  491. >Michael got a sadistic grin on his aging face.
  492. >”A place where people eat birds. Like you.”
  493. >”...Y-you’re just joshin’ me.”
  494. >”No, I’m not ‘Joshing’ you. Humans are cruel, unusual, perverse living creatures that are what’s known as omnivores. That means we eat everything. Now, what falls under
  495. everything?”
  496. >Gilda’s ears fell flat in fright.
  497. >”That’s right. Now, I won’t say it again. The psychopath, or the fucking sandwich?”
  498. >She hesitated for a moment, and her defeated eyes glanced over at the man himself.
  499. >With a frustrated sigh, Gilda nodded her head.
  500. >”Fine.”
  501. >Trevor butted into the conversation.
  502. >”Excuse me? Hi. What makes you think I want to take flying bitch here in?”
  503. >Michael poked Trevor’s dirty chest.
  504. >”Because Trevor, you fucking owe me.”
  505. >He stepped back, his anger dropping.
  506. >”Besides… I’m pretty sure you could use something to look after anyways. I’m sure you’ll get along.”
  507. >Trevor continued to glare at Michael, before groaning and rolling his eyes.
  508. >”FINE! If it makes you happy, I’ll give the bird a cage.”
  509. >Michael nodded exhaustively.
  510. >”Good… Now get the fuck out.
  511. >Trevor muttered some explicit words, and beckoned for the gryphon to follow him.
  512. >They both walked out of the doorway without another word.
  513. >The human turned to his new gryphon companion.
  514. >”So uh… looks like we’re stuck together.”
  515. >”Yup…”
  516. >”Do you drink? Or are you one of those high and mighty straight edge cunts?”
  517. >This drew the gryphon’s attention.
  518. >”I’m always down for a drink.”
  519. >”Sweet! Let’s get fucking shitfaced!”
  520. >Trevor dove his hand into his pocket and fished out his cell. He quickly scrolled through his long list of contacts, before selecting Michael’s protege’s contact information and calling it.
  521.  
  522. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 03/03/14(Mon)23:14 UTC-5 No.16603129
  523. Replies: >>16603155
  524.  
  525. >>16590621
  526. >”I’m askin’ because I’m coming over, and I’m bringing a little friend. That’s okay with you, right padre?”
  527. >Trevor heard a sigh on the other line.
  528. >”Bro, you better not be talkin’ about yo dick again, got me?”
  529. >”It’s not my dick, but it’s definitely something hairy and angry. Oh, bringin’ some booze too, unless you have a stash there?”
  530. >”Shit man, why not.”
  531. >”Want me to bring some food? You people like fried chicken, right?”
  532. >”...Fuck you, man.”
  533. >”So, that’s a yes?”
  534. >”Whatever dawg. Peace.”
  535. >Trevor promptly disconnected the instant he heard the right answer.
  536. >He stashed the phone in his dirty sweatpants, and gave a thumbs up to Gilda.
  537. >As they started walking down the driveway, she spoke up after trailing behind him a bit.
  538. >”Hey, you got a name? I mean, back where I’m from, monkeys don’t have names. But-”
  539. >Trevor stopped dead in his tracks, his hands gripping into fists.
  540. >”Do I have to smack a bitch?”
  541. >Gilda threw up her talon’s defensively.
  542. >”Easy there, I’m just joshing you. Yanking your chain a little.”
  543. >She didn’t quite believe him, but she slowly set them back down, scowling.
  544.  
  545. >>
  546. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 03/03/14(Mon)23:15 UTC-5 No.16603155
  547. Replies: >>16603178
  548.  
  549. >>16603129
  550. >Trevor turned back around and kept walking to his truck.
  551. >Gilda sat there for a moment, until she realized he wasn’t stopping.
  552. >”H-hey, don’t leave without me dweeb! And tell me your name already!”
  553. >”It’s Trevor.”
  554. >”Weird name for an ape…”
  555. >She fell behind his gait, and the duo walked down to Trevor’s pride and joy, his Bodhi with the newly-stained bumper.
  556. >He walked around to the driver’s door, while Gilda had stopped in her tracks, staring at the dark red stain.
  557. >”...”
  558. >Trevor noticed the direction of her gaze.
  559. >”That’s… uh… my period?”
  560. >She looked at him with a raised brow.
  561. >”Whatever, dude…”
  562. >Trevor opened the door and got in, getting out his key and turning the ignition.
  563. >The Bodhi stalled for a moment, but then roared to life with a powerful vibration from the engine block.
  564. >”Well, what are you waiting for? Hop in, gryphon.”
  565. >Gilda eyed the vehicle curiously.
  566. >”...How?”
  567. >Trevor snorted in frustration, and pointed at the passenger door.
  568. >”You pull the handle over there.”
  569. >Her glare followed his direction, and she walked over to the aforementioned door
  570. >She raises up her talons and sets them behind the handle…
  571. >There was a click as soon as she pulled, and the door didn’t budge.
  572. >Trevor simpered as he unlocked the doors, and waved for her to try again.
  573. >She looks back at the handle, and pulls--
  574. >Locked again.
  575. >”You’re doing that, aren’t you?”
  576. >”Bitch, I might be.”
  577. >Gilda groans in frustration, and her talons sink into the side of the truck.
  578. >She climbs in manually, forcing her way over the open space, sitting in the seat and crossing her arms.
  579. >”Getting a little tired of you calling me a bitch, chimp.”
  580. >”And I’m getting REAL FUCKING SICK of you calling me a monkey.”
  581. >”I’ll stop with the monkey names when you stop with the dog names!”
  582.  
  583. >>
  584. TF/Nehem/Dubs Menace 03/03/14(Mon)23:16 UTC-5 No.16603178
  585. Replies: >>16603424
  586. File: 1393906593635.png-(171 KB, 385x314, bateman13.png)
  587. GI
  588. 171 KB
  589.  
  590. >>16603155
  591. >Trevor just grunts at her, taking out his anger on the shift into reverse, and the wild ride that begins to throw them forward with the momentum.
  592. >He savagely throws the wheel to the side, turning the Bodhi in a swinging 180º towards the automatically opening gate, and impatiently scraping the side of his door as he squeezes through.
  593. >Gilda was a flyer, so powerful swings and fast speeds weren’t anything new to her. The way she was helpless and in Trevor’s command inside this vehicle, however, had her heart racing, and her talons were digging into the seat.
  594. >”Hey! Don’t scratch up the seat!”
  595. >Trevor only got more enraged, and he fishtailed out into the road, back tires swinging his truck to the left as he shifted up and stomped on the gas pedal, sending the duo backwards in their seats as the G’s took hold of their noticeably delicate bodies.
  596. >He never once hit the brakes, simply swinging them from side to side, weaving through honking traffic and nearly clipping pedestrians crossing with the side-view windows.
  597. >The reckless driving continued to the point where Gilda began to get a tint of green in her face.
  598. >Eventually, the queasy gryphon could no longer take the physical theatrics, thrust her head out the window, and emptied the contents of her stomach.
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