can't fucking stand

The Nerd: You know, it's so easy to die in this game, and every time you die, you have to see this. (Game over screen with Silver Surfer bent over and crying in sad surrender) This sad, pathetic image of Silver Surfer just trembling in defeat. If you play this game, this image will be burned into your retina. And how appropriate, because this picture expresses better than words my feelings on this game. Just look at it. That sums up the whole thing.

The Nerd: I mean, this game just pukes snot up my ass. (Silver Surfer dies repeatedly) It's like you touch the top of the building, you die, you touch the ceiling, you die, you touch the floor, you die, too far to the right, you die, too far to the left, you die, you die, you die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, DIE! (lies on the floor, holds his eyes in anger, and mimics the game over screen) (upset voice) Oh, God, I can't fucking stand it.

The Nerd: So there you go, shoot the rubber ducky which doesn't die. (Silver Surfer dies) OH, FUCK! If you play this game, one thing I can guarantee is that your thumb is going to get pretty damn sore from tapping that button. There's not one instant where you can take a break. You're constantly firing away, even when there's nothing in sight, because you don't know what's coming up. I mean, there's no reason not to be shooting. And this wouldn't bother me so fucking much if you could just hold down the button and let it keep shooting, but no. Of course not. So what you need is a turbo button. Whether it's an NES Advantage or an NES Max, put that other fucking controller away, press that turbo button, and never let go.

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