Anon - Trump in Canterlot High

Sep 8th, 2015
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  1. >Principal Celestia calls for order as students finish filing into the gymnasium
  2. >"Alright students, the Canterlot High School presidential debate will commence as soon as the candidates are at their podiums!"
  3. >She looks to Twilight Sparkle, at the front of the bleachers, and then to you, at the top
  4. >You adjust your hair piece before you start walking
  5. >Halfway down the steps, you hear Flash Sentry shout from the far right
  6. >"Be careful everyone, mess with Trump and there'll be hell toupee!"
  7. >Ringing laughter echoes around you, but you fix your smug grin on your face and continue to the stage, where Twilight waits
  8. >"Hello Donald, I hope we can have a pleasant debate."
  9. >Her hand extends as she gives you a warm smile, as if you'd ever touch a female
  10. >You smugly grin her down as you take your stand
  11. >Celestia: "Alright everyone, we're going to start with Twilight Sparkle, who will be explaining why she'd like your vote this year."
  12. >The principal gestures to Twilight, who nods and shifts her notes
  13. >"Thank you Principal Celestia Celestia, to start off I'd like to-"
  14. "Now see here's the problem with electing Twilight Sparkle, she's got a bigger mouth than a brain, and can't even manage to make a decent point."
  15. >Shocked faces abound
  16. >Celestia: "Donald, please apologize! Petty insults are not tolerated on the stage!"
  17. "Alright alright, Twilight...I'm very sincerely sorry."
  18. >"It's alright Donald, now...where was I?"
  19. >She looks back down to her notes, obviously flustered
  20. >"Oh yes, if I'm elected as Class President, I'll be sure to-"
  21. "You know, I for one don't understand why we tolerate students like Twilight coming into this school!"
  22. >Everyone in the room goes silent as you smugly grin your grin of smug satisfaction at the crowd
  23. "She randomly shows up out of the blue with no paperwork, no credentials, coming from some random country that doesn't even exist!"
  24. >You put on your baseball cap as you delve further into your point
  26. "I say we send her, and all the illegal students just like her, straight back through that portal headfirst!"
  27. >You extend a triumphant fist to the bleachers
  28. >Sunset Shimmer suddenly looks very uncomfortable
  29. "Together, I think that all of us can make Canterlot High a better environment for all us hard working Canterlot Natives!"
  30. >Still, silence
  31. "Now, I'm sure that some of them are decent people, like my man Anonymous up there!"
  32. >You point to your suit clad conservative friend in the top row, who waves back
  33. "But we all know that the vast majority are a bunch of criminals and rapists
  34. >Now Anonymous is the one who looks uncomfortable
  35. >Celestia: "Donald, please exit the gymnasium."
  36. "Can it woman, you're fired!"
  37. >Celestia: "EXCUSE ME?"
  38. "Just remember everybody, I'm the only one who can make Canterlot great again!"
  39. >Garbage and insults rain down on you as you smugly walk out of the gym
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