/snoot/ - Iadakan

from /snoot/ Sunday - Job Offer edition
h ttps://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/60147220/#60149282
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Misery man, I need my dose
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>Iadakan had enough
>he couldn't bear to spend one second more in there
>the once neat, orderly, welcoming place that had since become akin to a house in Skinrow
>if not on the outside yet, but on the inside the rot was slowly eating away at everything that he once held in high regard
>his home, that had stopped being his home now
>he couldn't bear to see it
>he couldn't bear being reminded *why* this is happening
>he hated the vitamin pills, he hated his television
>his radio, and the books on the shelves
>he hated his collection of beautiful pens and inks, that now served no purpose
>but most of all he hated being woken up by the same old alarm each morning not to a new day full of opportunities but to a prolonged state of meaningless half-drunk squalor
>he hated how it began and how he knew it will end
>he's already been given some time off at work, it was just a question of when he was getting fired, not if
>then he'd spend the last of his money on more booze and weed, and he'd hate himself for it
>he would stop caring even in the slightest about himself or his surrounding
>until he'd be forced out on the street, or will have to resort to leeching off relatives
>and in the end, he'd be found dead in a ditch or under an overpass somewhere, a casualty of the system
>and he couldn't bear it
>with the very last morsels of his willingness to do the right thing, with an act that may be the last to show that he had a spine, he made a decision

1/?
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>as he recollected all this, he was already on the move
>sitting in his car, looking at the lights at an intersection, trying to get onto the highway
>he wanted to leave not just his house but the city altogether, and this part of the country
>he'd go some place where he could be free again, where even if he couldn't let go of his demons, at least other people didn't know about them
>they wouldn't be looking at him as they do here
>yes, he was still quite drunk and angry, but he figured that if he got pulled over then at least it'd be an express ticket to the death he foresaw
>he certainly wasn't willing to further damage his family's reputation by getting arrested and becoming a criminal
>there were still some baseball bats - and other supplies - in his trunk, something he was supposed to drop off at Solly's place months ago, for the school team, but just couldn't be bothered to
>when they came looking he just said he never got them, and that the delivery company must have misplaced them
>but now he was prepared to use them to agitate the officers, to a hopeful suicide by cop
>...
>before all this, before Liz, Iadakan wondered a lot what must have driven Olivia to end things the way she did
>while the official account was that she suffered an accident, after speaking to the students, to some witnesses, Iadakan knew better
>and he couldn't believe it
>he knew how tough things were for Olivia, and he could guess how much harder it'll yet be as she grew older
>like a pretty girl who could never quite figure out if people liked her or only her looks, a lifetime of doubt
>except pretty girls most often had a pampered life served up to them on a silver platter
>Olivia was neither pretty, desirable, nor had she been treated right
>and what she thought her life was or would be, was dreams she held dear, it all came crashing down around her
>at least, just the way Iadakan felt at that moment, taking charge meant going out your way

2/?
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>a shrill noise tear him away from his thoughts
>the horn of a car next to him that he almost hit, not paying attention and drifting out of lane
>he cursed loudly, both at the situation and at the other driver just for good measure, and swung the car in the other direction
>due to the sudden overreaction now threatened to hit a van coming right at him in the opposite lane, but luckily he managed to right himself without causing an accident
>his heart pumping, the focused his attention on the road again
>already on the highway, he realized that with his recklessness he could cause a pile-up that would surely claim some more innocent victims
>going out himself, with that he had no qualms, but he wouldn't want to cause hurt to anyone else
>not only the people who died in a crash like that, but their families, or even if they got put in a wheelchair themselves
>he didn't want to create more phantoms to haunt him
>with all his focus on the road and battling his hangover, Iadakan put on a serious face, driving until a rest stop came up on his right
>there, he pulled the car over, and got out to get some air
>it wasn't fresh air, not right there next to the highway, but it gave him some solace
>if he wanted to take his mission seriously, then he couldn't act so stupidly
>with a sigh and stretch he mentally reprimanded himself once more, then took a seat by the rundown picnic tables that littered the area
>sitting there for a long while, at least until he felt like his hungover headache would pass, he spent the time looking at all the pictures he had in his wallet
>most folks only had the picture of a loved one there, or of their children
>not Iadakan
>he's go photos of coworkers there, friends, of events and memories he never wanted to forget
>as his mind flew back to simpler times, he let out a sorrowful sigh
>he wasn't sure anymore what he was mourning, but it did give some consolation to know that he might still be able to turn things around

3/?
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>eventually, Iadakan got back into his vehicle
>but he didn't start the engine yet, both hands on the wheel as he watched the other cars pass him by on the interstate, still partly a blur to his tired eyes
>he was conflicted, both sure and unsure about many things
>like dancing on the edge of a knife, and a push from either side would cause him to fall
>but he also felt something else, a feeling he hadn't had in a long while
>ambition
>zeal
>the willingness to try and fail, and then to try again
>yet in the back of his mind, he was keenly aware of the baseball bats in the trunk that had no right to be there, and it was in no sane way he intended to use them
>grip tightening on the wheel, Iadakan knew that he had to make a stand, to decide then and there if he was gonna fight to put things right, or if he's sitting there only because he wanted to run away from something there's no real running away from
>...only to be completely taken out of the moment by a ringing phone
>he didn't even realize that he had it in the car with him
>must have been left there yesterday when he got home from the pub, because he sure as shit didn't pack it today
>deliberate focus waning, he sighed, and took the device from the glovebox
>it barely had any battery left, 3%
>the screen refused to brighten, but he could make out the name
>Ben was calling him
>once upon a time this wouldn't have been a rare occurrence, Iadakan often worked with the bespectacled boy on school projects and such
>but the two of them didn't talk in months at this point
>what's more, Ben will be graduating the very next day
>so why was he calling?
>Iadakan considered letting the call drop, but he was strangely curious
>in a way, he respected Ben, as much as a teacher can respect a student
>he tapped accept, and lifted the device to his ear
>"Mr. Iadakan" Ben's voice came from the other end "Are you... Did you... Um... How should I put it? ... I know about Liz."

4/4 for now :^)
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Based, great as always
Hoping I didn't forget anything

h ttps://pastebin.com/Pxzz79Dx