Orc Slayer

>All i see out of the windows of my mustang is black
>Did i die?
>Did the CIA niggers know what i was doing?
>Guess it doesn't matter now
>i stare out into the inky blackness for a long time until i fall asleep
>can you fall asleep if you're dead?

>Wake up to sunlight streaming through my mustang's wind shield
>My cars surrounded on all sides by forest
>Werenotinkansasanymore.jpg
>Decide to do a quick inventory of everything
>Sawn off SxS, mp40, G3, AKM, zweihander, 1911, shit for living off the grid, a ton of schematics and an AT4
>Wait an AT4? when the fuck did i get an AT4?
>Whatever not like I need it wherever I am now
>Just as im finishing up I hear a woman scream
>Strap zweihander to my back and grab sawn off
>Full on sprint in direction of scream
>See a large figure holding down an aryan woman and groping her breasts
>my blood fucking boils
>"HEY NIGGER" I scream
>Tackle the nigger to the ground
>Wait
>Niggers normally aren't seven feet tall or have green skin
>Push that thought back it doesn't matter
>All that matters is making this green nigger pay for thinking he can touch an aryan and get away with it
>"WHO DA FUK AR YOU?" the nigger yells
>Ignore him and headbutt him to shut him up
>Wearing a stahlhelm so i don't feel it
>Pull out my sawn off
>Push it to his chest and fire both barrels
>The green nigger starts screaming"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>Holster sawn off and take my zweihander off my back
>Cease the green nigger's screams
>The green nigger's head rolls over to my feet
>punt it like a football
>turn around
>The woman is lying on the ground awestruck
>Reach out my hand to her "Are you okay?" I ask
>She snaps out of her daze and takes my hand
>"Y-yes I-im fine, thank you" she squeaks out
>Her blonde hair parts and i see a long, slender ear
>wut.jpg
>"So what the fuck is that thing?"
>Gesture to the nigger
>"You don't know what an orc is?" she asks me
>Wait
>Orc
>Long ears
>Is this fucking lord of the rings or something?
>Was i pulled into a portal or some shit?
>Suddenly memories start flooding back
>I was driving to a mosque to go brenton tarrant on those invaders when some fucking portal appeared in the middle of the road
>Goddammit
>Well at least there are nigger like creatures here
>WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT
>Im in fantasy world
>I
>CAN
>GET
>20FT
>GF
>fuckyeah.jpg
>but first things first i gotta help out this aryan qt
>"Follow me miss" I say
>"O-okay"
>We're met with an awkward silence on the trek back
>"Do you have a name miss?" I ask as we head back to my car
>She responds with "It's Brunhilda"
>"Can i call you Bru?"
>"Umm yeah that's okay" she says in a quiet voice
>Must be afraid of me
>I don't blame her
>I'd be pretty intimidated of someone that just fucking decapitated an orc in bulky as fuck body armor
>We reach my car
>To my suprise she doesn't freak out or isn't even confused as to what it is
>Come to think of it she didn't even question what my sawn off was
>Keep it to myself, was never the best in social situations
>Open the door for Bru
>Get in and start the car
>"so is there a town or something nearby?" I ask
>"Uhmm t-there's a town not too far from here, about five miles east"
>"Okay good" is all i say
>There's a long moment of silence
>Decide to break it
>"So are humans and machinery common here or something because you haven't even questioned my car"
>All she responds with is "Ummm yeah"
>Okay still scared of me
>guess it doesn't really help she hasn't even seen my face
>Whatever not gunna take my gasmask off and get air AIDS
>Plus cool factor
>We get to the town
>There are /k/ommandos fucking everywhere
>They look dirt fucking poor though
>As in fucking emaciated
>Feel the urge to p u r g e
>There has to be a bounty board or something around here
>Just ask a bunch of /k/ommandos if there is an orc camp or something here
>They all look at me like im insane
>Apparently these orc niggers have been terrorizing the town for years, stealing crops, gold, you name it
>There isn't even a reward for taking out the camp because nobody will do it
>well nobody WOULD do it
>Until now
>Get in car
>Pop in my Pantera album
>"RRRREPENT" I sing along to the song as i swerve to hit a goblinigger "HOLD YOUR MOUTH FOR THE WAR"
>CRUNCH
>Fuck that sounded nice

>Sit in my car about a mile away from the camp thinking about whether i should go loud or quiet
>Fuck it im going loud as shit
>Get my gear in front with me
>G3, sawn off, 1911, and zweihander
>Start up car
>thisiswherethefunbegins.jpg
>Put car in gear and speed towards the camp
>Ram right through the front gate
>Crush at least five orcniggers eating dinner
>I n  f r o n t  o f  t h e  f u c k i n g  g a t e
>Fucking orcniggers
>Grab G3 and hop out of car
>Spot a group of orcs rushing me
>Switch on the giggle switch and mow the niggers down
>BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
>Brenton Tarrant would be proud of me
>Feel something big hit me in the back
>Fall over
>Orcnigger picks me up by my neck
>Can't fucking breathe
>Grab sawn off out of it's holster
>Splatter the nigger's brains out all over the wall
>Take the moment of silence to reload the sawn off and G3 and move on
>Walk down long hallway
>Pass an open door
>Hear crying
>UhOh
>Go into room
>Fucking filled with cages containing little aryan girls
>Oh these niggers are gonna pay
>Walk out into hallway with a renewed rage coursing through my veins
>Come to a large throne room?
>Well what would be considered a throne room for orcniggers
>Fucking giant of an orcnigger sitting on a throne made of bones and scrap metal
>"IM GUNNA RIP YER GUTS OUT 'N WEAR EM LIKE A BELT"
>Okay orcnigger
>Let out a burst from the G3 While the nigger charges me
>Smacks the G3 out of my hands like it's a toy
>Sends me flying into the wall behind me at fucking mach five
>Draw 1911 and magdump into orcnigger's chest
>Nigger just shrugs it off
>Draw sawn off
>Wait for the nigger to charge me
>Put a basketball sized hole in the niggers chest
>He hits the ground with a heavy THUD
>Decapitate the nigger with my zweihander
>Gonna need proof that I killed the nigger

>After im done decapitating the orcnigger I hear soft crying coming from a room behind the throne
>Kick open door G3 at the ready
>My jaw drops
>What I find is a 20ft tall aryan woman dressed in cloth tatters tied up and crying
>YES.ogg
>Call out to the woman
>"Hey are you alright?" I ask
>"W-who's t-there?" she timidly whispers
>"It's okay, I'm here to help." I respond
>Cut the ropes with my zweihander
>As soon as she's free she pulls me into a bearhug sobbing
>"Oh t-thank you, thank you so much" she says between sobs
>Luckily she can't see how red my face is through my gasmask
>Was never very good with women
>Also can't breathe
>After a long while she finally breaks the bearhug
>Finally I can breathe again
>"Hey do you mind if I ask your name?"
>She nods and mumbles something intelligible
>"What did you say? I didn't hear you."
>"Erika" she squeaks
>"Huh?"
>"I-it's Erika, my name"
>Respond with "Oh, I-I-I-I'm Anon"
>Fuck im such a sperg
>"That's a nice name"
>"Y-y-you too"
>Turn around
>"One more thing before we go" I say as we're walking down the hallway
>"we need to get these kids to town"
>We release the little kids
>They thank us
>Before I can ask them anything they just fucking run off into the forest
>wut.jpg
>Loot the place
>Find a fucking carl gustav recoiless rifle being used as a bong
>Only orcniggers
>Wait
>Something chambered in 75mm isn't that useful to me
>but Erika is 20ft tall
>idea.jpg
>"Hey Erika"
>"Yes? What is it?" she says as shes looking through an orcnigger loot pile
>Her jaw drops
>"I-is t-that a-a carl gustav recoiless rifle?"
>Her legs are fucking shaking
>Drip
>I-is she? I-I think she is
>okay.jpg
>"Well I think we should get going" I say slinging my G3 over my shoulder
>Erika doesn't say anything just nods while fingerfucking her rifle
>Get to my car
>That's crashed into the wall
>Fuck
>"Ummm Erika"
>"Yes?"
>"My cars kindof uhh how do I put it, fucked?"
>"Oh I could carry you, do you have anything in there?"
>YESYESYESYESYESYESYES
>"Uhhhhh yeah let me grab it." I pause "It would probably be best if you had something to carry it around in" I think aloud
>"Oh I can just make it" Erika says
>Wut
>In fucking five minutes flat she makes a backpack from the deer skin the niggers had lying around fucking everywhere
>Stop staring at how fast she's moving and get to work taking everything out from my car
>Pat the Hood
>"I'll be back soon, don't you worry"
>Erika puts everything in her pack
>"You ready to go hon?"
>"Huh? Oh y-yeah," "i-it's not like im talking to my car or anything" I mumble
>She picks me up
>Sets me on her shoulder
>This is nice

>Wake up in a strange place
>Reach for sawn off
>"Oh you're awake, how was your nap?"
>Sudden realization of where I am
>I'm in Erika's arms
>...
>I'M IN ERIKA'S ARMS
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>Fight the urge to spill my spaghetti everywhere
>"Wha-where are we?" I manage to get out
>"You fell asleep and I didn't want to disturb you"
>"Oh ... well let's get going then"

>I'm on her shoulder again
>"So what made you want to slaughter a bunch of orcs anon? Not that im opposed to it at all" She asks me
>"Because they were orcs"
>She turns her head towards me on her shoulder "Reason enough"
>She shrugs

>After a long while of walking Erika stops to take a break and sets me down
>"Let's just rest here for a little bit okay?" she says sitting down and leaning against a tree
>"Alright, I'm gonna go stretch my legs."
>She nods and shuts her eyes
>Walking around after sitting on a giant girls shoulder for three hours feels really nice
>Hear a stick snap
>Whirl around in direction of the sound
>It's an orcnigger
>We stare at each other for a long moment
>I draw my sawn off
>Splatter the orcnigger all over a tree
>Hear running and orcniggers yelling
>Draw 1911
>Level it at the head of the orcnigger closest to me
>click
>fuck.wav
>Holster 1911 and sprint in direction of Erika
>Can hear the orcniggers huffing and puffing behind me
>"ERIKAAAAAAA"
>Hear loud as shit stomping coming towards me
>Almost shit myself until i remember Erika's 20ft tall
>She sees the orcniggers and her eyes go red
>I think i did shit myself
>She runs over and stomps the orcniggers into a fine paste
>what was white is now covered in red and what was green is now red
>Her face changes from an expression of pure primal rage to that of a caring mother when she directs her attention to me
>"Are you okay Anon?"
>"Uhhh I uhhh y-yeah"