depression is fun

I can't live like this anymore.
I don't have skills in life at all other than skill for games that I won't even remember in a decade, and even those games are causing me a lot of stress and anxiety.
In the real world I don't have any money at all, I get excited when I see a fucking penny on the ground and I save them all up just so I can buy a lunch. My parents don't give a single shit about me, and I honestly don't care about them anymore either.
Depression is a hard thing to battle, and some days it's just the worst feeling in your life, and I want that feeling to stop. I don't know how to make it stop, but don't worry I won't kill myself. I have suicidal thoughts a lot but I've somehow managed to keep them in check. I just want things to change, for the better. When will things get better?