Crispy 2014

Crispy 2014: Super Mega Ultra Gay Edition


I struggle with my mind for a few moments, trying to calm myself down. Peering around the corner, the coast appears to be clear. Bolting from room to room, I finally settle on stopping in a room with a rather plain sign outside.

It reads 'Writing Club' in a rather fancy form of calligraphy. Below, in smaller text, it reads 'we have better taste in our sexual counterparts than artists. Fuck those guys.'

I quickly open the door and slide through into the empty room. I must have stopped by at the right time, as being alone to hide for at least a couple of minutes may save my ass.

You know, it's really hard sometimes.

Hard to be handsome, charming, witty – whatever the fuck ten other guys see in me that results in them chasing me around with their dicks out, attempting to loosen up my brown star.

Yeah. A bunch of dudes, chasing me through the halls of this building at a fucking school – which, by the way, aren't there cameras or some shit? How the fuck have they gotten away with this now for the second time within the past couple of weeks?

It's unbelievable. Guys chasing around another guy, cocks flapping in the stale air of this old ass building at a community college, gently stroking them while yelling 'Garver, we just want to fuck you in the ass! That's it, promise!'

Yeah, I'd be down to getting turned into a cream-filled donut by ten guys WHO I DO NOT FUCKING KNOW.

I slam my head down into a desk that I've taken a seat at near the back of the room. Maybe working out wasn't the best idea. Not only was the lust for me from this group of males strong before now...

Well, now it's just taken to a level that I cannot even comprehend.

I tense up for a second. The sound of heavy footsteps are slamming down the hall outside, leaving me to silently shuffle my way over into the very corner of the room.

Oh fuck. One of them is going to find me, and that's going to be it.

Game over.

Pure anal devastation.

The handle of the door makes a loud sound as it is quickly forced to turn, leaving me to nearly shit my pants as only one other man, a... prettyboy, if you will, enters the room, much to my surprise and joy.

He slams the door shut behind him, holding it back against it as if to hold it shut. Outside I can hear the sound of female voices go by at a quick pace, yelling at the top of their lungs.

“He must have went down this way!”

“We have to find him! He still has to take my virginity!”

“Why won't he just fuck me in the ass? That's all I want from him!”

The voices begin to fade and he finally slides his back down the door, resulting in him taking an uncomfortable seat on the ground below him.

He turns his head to the side and completely startled, nearly jumping out of his skin as he notices me in the back of the room, staring at me with wide eyes.

“Dude, who the fuck are you?”

I shrug my shoulders at him, standing up from my crouched position in the corner.

“I should ask you the same thing. I'm hiding here because I'm getting chased by a group of people who want to fuck me.”

The guy jumps up, staring at me wide eyes.

“Are you serious? Dude, I'm in the same exact situation! Those girls just will not get the fuck away from me!”

As we both are standing, staring at each other, I inspect him from head to toe.

Huh, he actually kind of... looks like me?

What the fuck? I mean, he's not me, but he kind of looks similar to me. And that's not even mentioning the fact that we're in the same situation, only that he's getting chased by women and I'm getting chased by men.

This is pretty fucked. My curiosity is getting the better of me.

“What's your name?”

He looks at me with a strange squint, almost as if he's caught off guard by the question.

“My name? Darren Garter. And you?”

This cannot just be a fucking coincidence.

“Zac. But, everyone calls me Garver. How does this even work? Your last name is similar to my nickname, and we're both in the same fucking situation.”

I receive a stare from him, his eyes seemingly blank and mouth at a loss of words.

“You're freaking me out, man. Are you just trying to play some trick on me? Fuck, you even somewhat look like me 'Garver', if that's even your real name!”

“Dude, I told you it's just a nick-”

I quickly silence myself at the sound of heavy footsteps rounding down the hallway once more. Only this time, they sound heavier more...

Manly.

“Guys, we've checked every room! I can't take this anymore, I just want rub my dick all over his body!” A rather excited voice calls out.

“Ah, but yer' quite wrong, laddie. There's still this one room left that we have not checked in this buildin'. And if he's got non-shit taste, he'll clearly be in 'ere!” A thick British accent calls out over top as the door handle twists yet again, my fate seemingly getting sealed.

The men all come pouring in, their pants taken off of their bottoms and placed on top of their heads like hats, dicks dangling down between their legs. They all have name tags, all reading 'Hello, my name is THE GUY WHO'S GOING TO FUCK GARVER IN THE ASS' followed by their given name in parenthesis.

Darren stares in complete amazement and shock.

“So... the difference is that I'm getting chased by girls, and you're...”

“YES. I'm getting chased by a bunch of fucking weirdos who want to fuck me in the ass!”

“But.. you're not gay are you?”

“Nope. But that doesn't seem fucking matter, now does it?”

The man of the group who claimed he wanted to 'rub his dick all over my body' speaks up first. The name on his name tag reading 'Banda'.

“God you're just playing hard to get. Let's get him, boys.”

A man with an Australian accent speaks out, his tag reading 'Novangel'.

“Ah c'mon now guys, gotta let the man have some last words now, yeah?”

I stand up, my fate already sealed. I turn my head to Darren, my throat catching a bit on my words as I speak.

“Nice meeting you, Darren. Maybe one day I'll see you again and we can laugh about this situation.”

I then turn my attention to the half naked men standing before me.

“You guys are a bunch of fucking faggots. I hate all of you. Why the fuck do you want to fuck me in the ass? Why do you follow me around? Why are you all just so shit-tier people? Also, how the fuck do you get away with this shit AT A GOD DAMN UNIVERSITY?”

They all laugh in unison, the one named Banda farting as he begins to release semen from his hardened cock.

“You're so tsundere, Garver-rama-sama~” A man with the name of “YFA” speaks out, making a sort of 'uguuuuu~' sounding noise from his throat.

I walk forward with shame, two of the men grabbing my by the arms while others grab me by the legs, carrying me out horizontal to the ground.

Well, it would seem that I got the shit end of the story. And by that, I mean that I'm going to get fucked in my pooper and it's not going to be fun. Why can't I be like Mr. Garter?

At least I wouldn't have shame in fucking a bunch of girls.

Maybe...

Maybe he actually wants to get fucked by guys.

Maybe he's just a straight up bag of dicks.

Fuck my life. This is what it feels like to be in the middle of a circlejerk.