So you're going to Sol: a Skrell's guide to sex, religion, and memes

8th Crescendo, 3043 AL

by Talum-Qix Voquer, on commission for the 816th Emperor of Kar'lo

(TN: Translated by Elspor Fong)

INTRODUCTION:
Humans are strange. Although in the course of your education you have likely viewed some sampling of human media, and found it suitably strange and disquieting, it cannot truly express just how fundamentally alien these xenos are. They are slaves to drives so different from our own. Their society runs along completely different lines. They have hundreds of names for concepts that simply do not exist in the common tongue, rich though it may be. This pamphlet was commissioned to lessen the culture shock one might experience when touring human space, but it is still recommended that you travel in Qerr-lead tour groups to maintain your safety in a somewhat hostile environment.

(Note: If the state calls on you to take up more permanent residence in human space, it is recommended that you prepare thoroughly. The author recommends "A Short Treatise on Human Society". Though somewhat outdated, it contains many valuable survivial tips.)
(TN: I haven't translated this one. I'm not going to. It's about 900 pages.)

SEX:
Sex is an overpowering drive that consumes all humans. Sex to a human, though not physiologically necessary, feels like a need as real as that of food, sleep, or place-belonging (TN: This isn't a drive we have.). More startling still is that the production of offspring is completely unnecessary to meet this need; and is often viewed as undesired. Instead of the direct mating-satisfaction we feel, they have a more primitive proxy in the form of physical stimulation of certain areas of the body.

The average human begins desiring sex in late adolescence and will continue to desire it until death. They lack the mating-finality entirely, as their sex drive has no way of understanding if a satisfactory number of offspring has been produced. Many humans engage in sex or sex-like activities with members of the same sex, or the infertile, or robotic proxies, or even different species entirely. Many recorded instances of the latter are part of the Kar'lo restricted internet, which you may apply to view if necessary. (TN: Wetskrell. They're talking about wetskrell.)

Much of human culture is tied up in sex. Wealth-acquisition is done to acquire regular mates. Talent-cultivation is done to acquire regular mates. All social status is a proxy for the ability to acquire regular mates. In many ways, sex is a human proxy for place-belonging, which goes a long way to explain their mutually-antagonistic short-sighted society. (TN: Ahahahahahahaha)

During your trip, you are unlikely to see humans mating. They regard the act as shameful and seek to do so privately. However, if unaccompanied by a socially-competent guide and a Raskinta security detail, there is a very real chance that a human will attempt to sexually gratify themselves with you. This chance is increased if the human is intoxicated. The correct response to this situation is a firm, insistent "no". If they attempt to press the issue, contact the nearest Skrellian consulate or human police force. Even for the Kanin, who are not pressured to be the face of our species, agreeing to this contact is to be considered unbecoming.

RELIGION:
Very few humans believe in That-Which-Sang. Their closest equivalent is an entity called God, or alternatively Allah, The Lord, or a name which is forbidden to me and known only to a certain caste of humans. (TN: They're talking about the tetragrammaton. Jews aren't a caste. Jesus fucking lord.). The one called Jesus Christ is believed to be an emanation of, descendent of, or otherwise related to God, and the one called Muhammad is believed to have received special revelations from the same. It is unknown as to why they believe that only one human recieved the truth of the divine song, but it is probably linked to the exclusive and fractious nature of the human race.

Belief in God is not universal. About 60% of humans are atheists. Ironically, you are most likely to agree with them on religious matters. Although they claim not to believe in divinity, they hold a spirit of science sacrosanct which matches well with the edicts of the Singer. Additionally, many humans believe in other deities, or even non-deistic systems similar to that of the Unathi. Of the humans that do believe in God, they have quite literally thousands of different interpretations of God's nature and the specifics of his decrees.

The God-religion, Unitarianism, is rooted in shame and self-admonition that has inspired several of the odder aspects of human culture.(TN: Voquer, eat my Neo-Confucian asshole.)Taboos and restrictions involving the intoxicating substance alcohol being chief among them. There are also various religious restrictions around certain diets, certain times, certain hair-styles, certain clothing-styles, certain languages... In general, it can be said that religion, for humans, is not about guidance, but about rules. (TN: Such as the rule "don't drug your populace".)

Memes:
(TN: ...Look, I've only spent like 7 years learning written Skrellian, I don't understand Skrell memes. Nobody understands Skrell memes. It's not hard! We like cats! Why do so many of your memes have fucking voyager probes in them I don't get it.)