Two of a Kind [KSG Competition Submission]

Two of a Kind


"GOTTA' GO FAST MOTHERFUCKER!" I hear Emi's screaming from the other side of the room. The childlike glee in her voice is unlike any I have ever heard.

A spinfusor round explodes just ahead of me as I ski down the steep hill.

She's behind me again.

How is she so good at this?

"Wahahaha~! Emichan, I'll help you out!" Misha's booming laughter comes next, followed by another explosion. This one very nearly hits me. I launch into the air as quickly as possible to avoid her fire.

I look up from the screen long enough to see Misha pouting at her monitor, “Hold still, Hicchan! Please~?”

I sigh heavily and look back down.

I knew playing the capper was going to end badly. I launch myself over the next few hills and hit the ground moving as fast as I can. Evidently not fast enough, as the world’s most irritating chaser – also known as Emi Ibarazaki – appears at my side, and hits the ground directly underneath me with another spinfusor round.

The explosion sends me into the air and I take a significant amount of damage. I activate my jetpack and try to continue moving as more rounds hurtle past me. As I fly over the next hill I gain sight of the cap point far away into the distance, and breathe a sigh of relief.

Just a little longer.

There’s a minute left on the clock. Butchers are beating us by one point, if I cap this then I can at least get us to draw.

Just… a little... closer…

My assisting teammates are blown away by the hyperactive duo in a storm of explosions and laughter.

Emi and Misha’s teamwork is proving incredibly difficult to overcome. I never could’ve imagined the two coming together like this for anything, really. It’s the first time I’ve seen Misha really click with someone other than Shizune. Maybe I’m witnessing the start of a new bond?

My train of thought is cut short by Misha’s inquisitive voice.

“Hey Hicchan!”

This is the home stretch, I keep moving here and the flag is capped and I’ve saved us all.

“Hicchan!”

“Yes?”

Come on…

“Guess what~!”

Just a little…

I sigh, “What?”

Just then, an Impact Nitron collides with me, sending the flag shooting out of my grasp.

“NONONONONONONONONONO!” I roar.

“Wahahaha~! Cap denied!”

“I got it!” Emi chimes, rushing forward and grabbing the flag before I even have a chance to adjust my course.

God. Dammit.

I release the mouse and keyboard, head hung in defeat. There are fifteen seconds left.

Nobody could make that.

The chaotic pair have already started causing havoc in the sand-raker base. The muffled explosions and resulting anarchy can be heard in the distance, as I stand mere feet away from the flag capture point.

How? How are they so good at this?

I stare at the screen in disbelief as the match ends, informing the entire team that we lost. The usual spamming of the “Shazbot!” and “I am the greatest!” voice commands sound out above the laughter of the two devils that currently inhabit this room with me.

Misha steps out of her seat and walks over to me, “Hicchan! Emichan said that since we’re done playing we should all go to the Shanghai~! And seeing as you lost, you get to pay!”

I stare at her blankly. Have Shizune and Emi switched places?

“You’re so kind,” I comment dryly, standing up and turning to Emi, “I didn’t know that you and Shizune were so much alike when it comes to competitions, Emi.”

She skips over and punches me in the arm, “We’re not alike! This is your punishment for sucking,” The short girl states in a manner of fact tone, “And for playing sand-raker. Traitor.”

“But if you don’t wanna’ help out two cute girls then I understand,” Emi pouts and stares are me with wide puppy-dog eyes.

Uh oh.

I spin round to avoid the near-fatal gesture, only to see Misha standing behind me. She quickly adopts the same tactic.

“What’s the matter Hicchan? Don’t you like~ us?” Misha asks in mock sadness as she bats her eyelids.

What sort of deadly teamwork is this?

I slump my shoulders, defeated once again. “Fine; let’s go to the Shanghai.”

“Really? Hicchan, you’re so kind~” The pink haired girl replies, almost jumping for joy.

These two are going to be the death of me.

And my wallet.

====================================================================

It isn’t that long until the three of us enter the lobby of the Shanghai. Yamaku’s librarian come waitress greets us in her usual nervous manner, showing us to a table. As Yuuko takes our orders, I curse silently for the lack of menus in the place, because I don’t know the prices of anything. I order myself some coffee and brace myself in preparation for the onslaught of food that will probably be ordered by Emi and Misha.

An onslaught that doesn’t come, apparently, as something very strange happens. The two girls that sit opposite me both order a strawberry parfait. At the same time. A sly look passes between the two, quickly followed by uproarious laughter.

Yuuko almost looks confused at the hyperactive girls’ antics, but writes down the orders and leaves, bowing so low she nearly head-butts the table as she does.

I raise an eyebrow, “I didn’t know that you liked parfaits, Emi.”

“Of course I do! They’re delicious!”

“The parfaits here are super~ nice, too!” Misha’s bubbly voice responds as well.

They’ll probably start finishing each other’s sentences at this rate.

Emi nods in agreement, and the two begin some sort of high energy discussion about parfaits.

As they continue talking to one another I realise that it never occurred to me just how similar these two girls are.  Ignoring the contrast in their appearances, their personalities match one another almost perfectly. They have the same high energy attitude, and they rarely ever seem to be upset or phased by anything.

I’m surprised that I’ve never seen the two of them together like this before, they get along well enough.

Misha waves her finger in front of me, “Hicchan! Are you in there~?”

Her loud voice snaps me back to reality. I must’ve spaced out. “Yeah, yeah. I’m here, what is it?”

She cocks her head to the side, “Whatcha’ thinking about?”

I grin, “You two.”

Misha gives me a puzzled look, “Us?”

“Yep, I was just thinking that you two seem to get along like a house on fire, so I was wondering why it is that you don’t hang out with each other.”

Emi scratches her head, “Good question,” she turns to the bubbly girl beside her, “Why haven’t we done this before?”

“I’m not sure~ maybe we’ve just never had the chance because I’m always with Shicchan and you’re always with Tezuka.”

The food arrives and the girls quickly begin devouring their parfaits. They even manage to tear through sweets at the same pace it seems, as they wolf down the food at an alarming rate.

Misha leans back against her seat, a content look on her face, “Ahhh; that was good!”

I stare at them in disbelief.

“What is it, Hisao?” Emi asks.

“The longer you two spend together, the more convinced I am that you and Misha are secretly related.”

Emi giggles, “We’re not related,” she begins.

“We’re both robots~!” Misha finishes.

Oh god. It’s happening.

I shake my head, “And that explains why you’re both so similar, does it?”

Emi points a finger at me, “Of course it does. We’re both the same model of robot.”

She stares at me with a very serious expression. I meet her gaze. Misha simply observes us as nothing happens. Suddenly, Emi tilts her head to one side.

 “Beep.” She says flatly.

Misha laughs, her drills bouncing as her body shakes with laughter. The pigtailed girl quickly joins in. The resulting noise from their laughter attracts a few stares from other customers.

I rest my head on the table, “You’re both insane.” I groan.

“That’s rude, Hicchan! What sort of cold hearted brute would be so mean to a pair of cute girls like us?”

I recognise that tone of mock-sadness. If I look up…

I am faced with the sight of Emi and Misha doing their ‘puppy dog eyes’ in unison again.

I turn to look out the window, avoiding the frighteningly cute gazes of the girls sat in front of me.

“Cut it out,” I say, pointing to my chest, “Heart condition. You keep doing that and you might kill me.”

“Wahahaha~! We’d never kill you, Hicchan, you’re our friend!”

I chuckle, “I didn’t say you’d do it on purpose. Now let’s go before you guilt me into buying you something else.”

“Damn, if it was that easy then I should’ve milked it some more.” Emi says teasingly as I pay for the food.

We begin our long hike back to Yamaku.

Emi and Misha are ahead of me, whispering amongst themselves until they both turn to face me.

They both try and make themselves as cute as possible, and speak in unison. “Hicchan~?”

Uh oh.