Picking a Lab partner

>be psychology major at Fancy State University
>Part of the course grade is to do various psychological tests and studies with your partner
>Unfortunately there's an uneven number of people in class, and you're the odd one out.
>You need to pass this class, so you have to find a test subject elsewhere
>After asking around campus and posting flyers everywhere, no one wants to help
>As a last ditched effort, you decide to go to the adoption center and use a fluffy pony as your lab rat
>The employee there leads you to a room in the back full of fluffies in various boxes.
> as soon as you enter the room, you're greeted with a cacophony of sound
>"New fwen?" "Pway!" "Wan huggies!" "Fwuffy wan sketties."
>The sheer volume of fluffies babbling is destroying your ears
>you walk up to a cage with six fluffies of various colors in it
>"New fwen?" "you new daddeh?" "gif sketties?"
>This is the perfect time to start a psychological test
Okay, here's the deal. We're going to play a game, and the winner gets to come home with me.
>"Game!" "pway!" "wan pway!"
You go to the side of the cage, and I'm going to put a ball in there, and the last one to touch it is the winner.
>They continue to babble "Pway!" "wan baww!" You're unsure as to whether or not they even understood what you told them
Okay, go!
>you place the ball in the center of the cage. Immediately, two fluffies go straight for it
>"Fwuffy get baww fiwst. Fwuffy am winnew. Fwuffy get sketties!"
No, you lose. good fluffies listen to directions.
>you put the two fluffies in a different cage as they start to cry. the fluffies already in the cage start to babble
>"new fwens?" "new fwens need huggies."
two down, three to go
>one fluffy is staring intently at the ball. another is looking around, it appears to have forgotten what it was doing. "new daddeh?" it asks you.
>the third fluffy falls down "fwuffy feew owwies in tummy." It then shits itself.
Yeah i don't want to have to deal with that.
>you pick it up avoiding the shit and put it in a new cage
>the last fluffy looks nervous. "fwuffy wan pway, but no can has pway." "fwuffy wan baww!"
>it starts shaking "fwuffy wan huggies!"
>the fluffy pony then ceases to babble and dies.
Apparently the little things can die from lack of playing. Good to know, i guess?
>two remain. the one staring at the ball, and the one who has apparently forgotten the last five minutes already.
>after a few minutes, you get tired of waiting
>first fluffy is still staring
>other one is just realizing that others are gone
fuck this i've got better things to do
>you pick up the fluffy that's been staring at the ball
congratulations, you win
>"fwuffy am winnew? fwuffy get sketties?"
yeah yeah let's just go already
>fluffy is a light gray earth fluffy stallion with a brown mane
>you take new lab rat to front desk
>fill out adoption forms
>"whats fwuffys name?"
uhh...
>you consider naming him lab rat, but you don't want to be too mean...yet
how bout sigmund?
>"sigmuwn?" "fwuffy am Sigmuwn?"
yeah, you're sigmund.
>"yay! sigmuwn haf new daddeh, get sketties!"
>you take sigmund home and make sketties for dinner
>lock him in safe room with all the essentials
tomorrow's a good day for some tests