Healing- Xi Liyang (Green)

☯ USERNAME: scriptura-delirus

☯ NAME: Xi Liyang

☯ NICKNAME(S): None. She hates nicknames.

☯ AGE: 21



◍  FACE CLAIM: Twice Sana

◍ BACKUP FACE CLAIM: Twice Momo



☮ PERSONALITY:

Liyang has two distinct sides. One is the side she shows to society, the side that makes everyone think she's effortlessly good at everything, that everyone hates, that's sometimes arrogant and condescending. It's a complete mask. She wears a practiced smirk and walks with a saunter. She knows she's good at most things and she purposely makes it seem as though it's completely and utterly because of her own born intellect. This side is reckless and sarcastic, a pretty big asshole, and an utter bitch.
Her other side is the one that she keeps hidden from everyone at all costs. Due to certain childhood circumstances, she became terrified of failure, sparking her panic disorder. Before she went to the clinic, she locked herself up in her room all the time, and no one knew what happened in there. Her parents assumed she was doing stupid stuff in there but after a long time, they just gave up on forcing her to come out. She stayed in there and worked for hours on end, finishing her assignments, making sure they were all spotless and perfect. She wouldn't come out unless she needed to use the bathroom or get something to eat/drink. When something went wrong, her panic disorder was triggered, and even though she took meds for her ADHD, little things went wrong a lot of the time when she got slightly distracted.
Liyang is really a very intelligent, hardworking girl. She loathes the fact that she has this panic disorder but couldn't bring herself to tell anyone after spending years carefully building up her everyday persona. She's strong but her built-up walls have substantial cracks. She's very creative and loves music (she can play piano surprisingly well). Liyang is responsible and loyal to those whom she respects, and it takes a lot to earn her respect. She cares for her family but doesn't show it well at all. She's really emotionally troubled and can't seem to express herself properly.

☮ BACKGROUND:

Liyang was a really hyperactive kid until she was diagnosed with ADHD at eight and started taking meds. She was born in the US, but she, her brother, and her mother lived in a different state from her father as her father worked hard so they could all be together. Thus her mom was stressed a lot of the time between taking care of two kids and juggling her own job, and she snapped really easily when things didn't go well. That was how Liyang developed her fear of failure, because not doing well usually meant a slap in the face. When the family finally got back together and eventually moved to Korea, her father's birthplace and where her parents met and married, things got better as her mother became less stressed and more patient, but that fear never disappeared and Liyang started building up the bitchy persona to hide the fear she was so ashamed of. Korea's school system was a lot harsher than in America, so Liyang found herself struggling at first to keep up, triggering her fear of failure and starting her panic disorder. When she caught up, she was hell-bent on not falling behind again. When she got into college, the disorder got worse as the stress piled on, and she was sent to the clinic when her roommate found Liyang nearly passed out in her room, panicking about how she was going to fail the next exam. She studies computer science and chemistry.


✪ LIKES:
- music (classical, K-pop)
- STEM subjects
- books
- sleep
- food
- dancing
- pens
- coding

✪ DISLIKES:
- her disorder
- her personality
- being in the stupid clinic
- bugs
- judgmental/nosy people
- rain
- driving

✪ HABITS:
- tapping her fingers to a beat or as though she's playing piano (remnants of her ADHD- she's much better now, but the habits linger)
- biting her lip so hard it almost bleeds (it's part of a subconscious effort to calm herself when she's on the verge of a panic attack. it doesn't help.)
- playing with her hair (another remnant of her ADHD)

✪ FEARS:
- failure (stemmed from her childhood as explained in the background)
- heights (irrational)
- showing her disorder in public/in front of people (she doesn't want anyone to know)
- driving (she fears that she'll have a panic attack in the car, thus endangering herself and any passengers)

✪ TRIVIA:
- she had a keyboard in her dorm and when she was on the verge of a panic attack she would play on that keyboard and it sometimes helped calm her down
- will read pretty much anything besides tabloids/gossip stuff and horribly written romance
- favorite colors are blue, silver, black
- "has" a cat but not really because it's just a stray that likes to stay near her dorm and she feeds it
- favorite holiday is Christmas
- she's not particularly good at dancing but she's not bad either; sometimes dancing helps relieve her stress
- has an older brother (Lihuan) who was the only one that semi-understood her because he has similar problems too (but not to her level); they're pretty close but he goes to college in the US
- tbh everyone's surprised at the rude personality behind her cute face
- while she's in the clinic she codes a lot of random but surprisingly useful programs that help the workers sometimes. sometimes she makes games that keep other patients occupied as well.
- has a collection of pretty and fancy pens that she never uses. would 10/10 kill someone if they touched them.



☀ SLOT: Green

☀ BACKUP SLOT: Brown

☀ EXTRA INFO FOR SLOT:
- doesn't have panic attacks often but they're kind of severe when they happen
- has been suppressing her true emotions for years so it's really not easy for her to open up

☀ ILLNESS(S):
- ADHD
- panic disorder

☀ HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD IT:
- ADHD since she was born, I guess, but started taking meds when she was eight so she's alright about that
- Panic disorder since she was maybe twelve-ish? When they moved to Korea.

☀ WHY DO YOU HAVE IT: ADHD was inborn, but her panic disorder is explained in the background :)

☀ WHEN/HOW DID YOU GET TO THE CLINIC: Her roommate found her nearly passed out in her room, panicking about the next exam.



☻  LOVE INTEREST: Wonwoo

☻  BACKUP LOVE INTEREST: Mingyu

☻  LOVE INTEREST EXTRA:
- at first he really dislikes her because she's unfriendly and a bitch



◎ HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH YOUR ILLNESS:
- She really just suppresses it all and will lock herself in her room for hours if needed. She just doesn't want anyone to see. Ever.

◎ WHY DO YOU WORK AT THE CLINIC:
- N/A

◎ THOUGHTS ON THE CLINIC:
- She dislikes it. She just wants to leave.



◯ HOW YOU ACT AROUND OTHERS: At first she's unfriendly and kind of rude, but later she opens up a little and gets closer to a few.

◯ HOW YOU ACT AROUND LI: At first just like she does to everyone else- abrasive, unfriendly. But later, as they get a little closer and she starts falling for him, she acts shyer and quieter.

◯  HOW YOU ACT ALONE: She's pretty silent on her own. She stays lost in her own thoughts or reads or codes most of the time. She rarely laughs or smiles.

◯ SUGGESTED LI SCENES:
- him walking in on her about to have a panic attack and as no one is around to help, he helps calm her down
- someone manages to find a keyboard for them and Liyang plays for Wonwoo, which helps calm her down and eases his depression

◯ SUGGESTED EVERYONE SCENES:
- a couple of workers forcing them to do icebreakers or something and introduce themselves to each other
- group bonding session when everyone's closer where they talk to each other about their illnesses/fears and how they can help each other
- playing games together (board games, card games, etc) and it's the first time some of them have heard each other laugh or seen each other smile
- idk if this might include everyone but someone knocks over and breaks Liyang's glasses and everyone collectively looks at each other in horror because that could trigger her disorder but she just picks up the pieces and walks out. it's a sign that she's getting better.

◯ EXTRA/ANYTHING I MISSED:
- she's Korean-Chinese and speaks Mandarin and Korean fluently as well as English
- wears glasses but she can see well enough without them

◯ TAGS: will be in the comments :)

◯ NOTE TO ME: Sorry for applying late! I got really busy just before the holidays and I just remembered about this fic :\ hope I'm not too late! If I am, I'm very sorry! I hope you enjoyed this form.