top dog

May 1st, 2016
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  1. You think you're the top dog, huh? You think you're the big dog? You think you're the top dog? You think you've got the best dogs? You think you can pierce my veil? Do you think you can just walk up here, walking down the street, proclaiming yourself the top dog? Do you think you're the top dog? Do you think your bark is the loudest? Let me show you my big dogs, let me show you what I've got in my wallet. Let me show you something special, I want you to know how special you are to me. I want you to know that you're not the big dog, but I'm the big dog. The big dominant dog, the top dog, the leader of the pack, the wolfpack, alpha. I want to show you my big dogs. Right here, this big dog, this is my silver chihuahua, one of the uncommon big dogs. You think you've got what it takes to defeat my silver chihuahua? Well let me throw this at you... A platinum retriever, that's right, it's higher than a golden retriever. This dog, this dog right here, is more powerful than you could possibly imagine. It's got 14,000 attack points, it's the biggest dog around. You think you're the top dog now, huh? You think you're the best dog? Well I'll show you. My Greyhound bus. It's a bus that's named after a dog. It's got 15,000 attack points. Now do you think you're the top dog? You think you're the big dog around here? Do you think you can just walk around my street and piss on any fire hydrant you want? You think you're the kind of dog that can come into my house and can just piss all over the carpet? Piss all over the rug? Piss all over the motherfucking blinds? Do you think that I'm okay with you doing that? Do you think that I'm alright? Do you think I'm an alright person? Do you think that, deep down inside, that I'm an okay person? Maybe I'm just a bad person. Maybe I'm a bad dog. Maybe I want you to treat me like I've been a disobedient puppy; but let me show you something else, let me show you something that I've never shown anyone before. It's my Frog dog. It's the best dog ever. It's got 16,000 attack points. It's more powerful than both of my earlier shit-tier dogs. This is an A-Class dog right here. What? You're pulling something out? Oh my god, is that... Is that an S-Class dog? Is that a... Is that a fucking... Oh my god, that's a Malamute. I've only heard of those things in my dreams. I've never thought I'd see one in real-life, IRL. I've never thought that I wouldn't be the top dog. I thought I was the biggest, baddest one; but I guess my bark was much worse than my bite. I guess your bite was just more- more- more powerful. You've got the jaws of life right there. It's like you could rip open car doors after- after they've been in an accident. I think you are the top dog. You know what, I'm proclaiming you the top dog. I'm giving you the top dog medal, I'm pulling it out of my chest right now. That's right, you are the top dog. You've won. You've won the prize. Do you still think I'm an okay person now that I've let you win? I'm going to go back to the store now. I'm going to walk into my local Walmart, I'm going to look into my Wal- Local into my... Walkle. Oh god, you've got me flustered. But I'm going to go into my local shop, I'm going to buy a new pack of dogs. And you know what? I'm going to come back and I'll defeat you. I'll become more powerful than you could ever imagine. I'll become the biggest dog, the top-tier dog, the spiciest dog you've ever seen... And when I do that, maybe I'll have gained your respect, maybe I'll have gained your trust back. Maybe, just maybe, you and I can start a wonderful life together... Or maybe my dreams are just that, they're dreams. Maybe I'll never be able to have anything nice, anything at all. I just wanted to be the top dog, and for a short moment I was. But guess what, you walked in here and you shattered- You shattered everything. You came in here and you shattered my perception of who the top dog really was, and you proved... You truly proved that you, you sir, are the toppest dog around. Nice.
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