Love is a noose.

	CawklesGM	The Mentirosa, in a way, is a lot like the interior of the Argo; claustrophic, bright, and in possession of a distinct chemical smell. But here, aboard the ship, things are so much more opulent and refined. The workers are not layabouts, soldiers, and bureaucrats; they're disciplined sailors and marines, the kind of people who live for the exacting order of shipboard life and are respectful of their superiors. The decorations on the hallways are not tacky propaganda but rich tapestries of silken thread and gold inlaid, glittering underneath the stale glo-lamps that line the ceiling of every corridor. It's like walking about an elegant argosy of forgotten void treasures the likes of which only seem to exist in the half-remembered stories of old salts. The medicae ward is no exception to this, littered with treasures and delicate stain glass displaying the stern gaze of the God-Emperor himself. Izem walks this halls with a sense of absurdness and direction; after spending a week recovering here, he knows his way around pretty well. Nurses and medicae staff who know his face smile politely at his passing, their quiet greetings the only discernible sound in this silent place of repose. Walking along, Izem enters the ICU ward of the deck, where the massed bunks of a more military style hospital give way to individual cells filled with creature comforts and arcane machinery. Row A...Row B...Row C...Izem gets steadily closer to his destination. He passes by two massive portals labeled SURGINARIUM MALEDICTIS INUINARII; red robed figures, hunched and silent, filter in out, lugging machines of strange make as well as more holy reagents meant for machine spirit sacraments. Prepping for a surgery? Perhaps. Dismissing the scene, Izem finally hits the final row and hangs into the left most hallway, going all the way down until he reaches room #417. The doorway to this cell is ajar, and he pauses to take a peek inside. As he stands still, he no doubt absentmindedly notes the queer rumblings of the space ship beneath his feet, as well as the harsh chirping of a chorus of medicae equipment.
	CawklesGM	Inside, two figure stand. Well, one figure "stands". The other is a dark skinned woman of unutterable beauty whose struggles to regain her footing are pitiable. The opposite figure tries to steel the woman as she straddles the edge of the hospital bed, trying to force herself to stand. Kahina tries, unfurling her feet from the bland white hospital gown constricting her, dipping her toes onto the cold deckplate of the floor. She winces and wheezes in pain, teetering and tottering as she stiffly rights herself into a stand. Constricting tendrils of medicae sensory wires hold her back, a plethora of wires linked to her chest and her arm stain as she moves. Her companion swiftly detaches the wires; despite looking like some kind of nun, the woman is seemingly very familiar with the servitor-respirator, corpus stimulator, and pain-tubes that crowd around the hospital bed. Painfully, slowly, the nun helps Kahina hobble across until she reaches the wall-sized view port on the other side of the room. A sense of reverence overcomes Kahina as she reaches this place, and bows respectfully to the glinting blanket of stars both near and far. The nun turns around to face the door once she finished helping Kahina, and spots Izem lurking near the frame. Her face is that of a lissome young maiden, her skin as pale as snow and her smile a warm ray of sunshine and tranquility. She has no eyes, only blackened pits from which nothing stare out. "Lady Kahina, it would appear you have a visitor."
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	Somewhat embarrassed, Izem reveals himself fully and steps through the doorway, rubbing his new augmetic arm, still stiff and awkward from him getting used to it. It's make and craftsmanship is worth more than he would have ever made as a Medic in the BT. He gawks for a moment at the woman helping Kahina, and then corrects himself, he bows his head in apology and slowly makes his way to where they both are. He struggles for words at the sight of his secret love, so long has he held in his grief and worry since she'd nearly died in his arms. He gives a small smile, and finally let's all his joy and grief go. Tears begin to cascade down his face while he smiles, he can't remember the last time he felt such relief and joy.
	CawklesGM	Kahina hears the near presence approach, and with some difficulty she shifts her entire body to face the noise. There is a tremble of her lip, a ghost of disbelief on her face as she sees Izem appear before her. When the tears fall down her face, she herself can hold on no longer. Her eyes puff and swell, and with silent joy tears cascade down her good eye, rolling over her cheek and leaving wet trails. Not even waiting for the nun to help her move, she hobbles over to Izem of her own accord, her stiff and painful movements not slowing her down for a second. She meets Izem halfway before the pain becomes too much to bear, and she throws her arm around his shoulders so that she might topple into his embrace. Izem can hear the creaks and pops as her new, toned arms wrap around his shoulders and squeeze. "Izem!" She gasps, burying her face in his shoulder. "Izem, my friend, I thought you dead! I t-thought you were dead! The God-Emperor has heard my prayers, he has heard them!" She sobs softly as she continues to cling onto Izem, her legs starting to give out underneath her as her strength ebbs. As she slides down, one of her arms runs alongside Izem's arm, feeling the artificial contours of the limb. Her soft sobs become more choked and painful as her hand finally reaches his and she squeezes it tightly.
	CawklesGM	"I'm so sorry this...I should have been there. I should have been at your side. Then this would not have happened."
	CawklesGM	The nun in the room smiles distantly. She quietly makes her way to the door and disappears without saying a word, closing the bulkhead behind her.
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	He returns the embrace enthusiastically, daring to hold her as tight as possible. As Izem feels her warmth, and hears her words his happiness increases just a little more, his tears continue to fall unabated and his smile never vanishes...that is until the mention of his arm. He breathes with a shudder as he remembers the traumatic experience but he quickly squashes it. He gives her a small sad smile before lending his shoulder to help her sit on her bed.
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	"Kahina...words fail me in expressing my joy in reuniting with you again."
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	"This." He motions  with his new arm. "This was a price I paid for my errors. And no, had you been there...no never mind that." He places his non-augmetic hand on hers.
	CawklesGM	Her body noticeably softens as the strain on her body subsides. She squeezes Izem's and not just smiles, but beams, probably the first time she's even deigned to show such joy. She reaches towards his face and wipes away some of his tears, staring at him with those dark, soulful eyes of hers. "You are right. I think what matters here is the fact that Him On Terra has saw it fit to keep both you and I here among the living. But...I do not know why He has done this. I don't even know how or why I got here. But...all of these things in due time." Her gazes tears itself from Izem and drifts to the cold, soulless floor. "I have had a lot of time to think, you know. And you are the first visitor I have had from our band of companions. I have been through so much, and have many a thing on my mind. The usual lot of issues, but I have chewed upon them more than I usually do. I thought-" She chokes for a moment, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I thought of my sons. The depths to which I have betrayed them and their father. Until my injury I scarcely even thought of their welfare. I was too worried about the mission annd our enemies and-"
	CawklesGM	She rubs her temples fitfully, her face burning red with some sort of intense feeling. "It is these damned painkillers, Izem. They are too strong. They do not kill the pain entirely but they are narcotic enough to induce all sorts of strange states in me. It worries me. I am loathe to shed tears."
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	He nods at her while wiping away the last of his tears and rubbing his face for a moment. "The fact that you recognize the mistakes you made and admit to them shows you want to redeem yourself, and I think the God-Emperor agrees, as you're still here aren't you?"
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	He awkwardly interlaces his hands, still not used to the augmetic. "The painkillers are necessary, even with your steel resolve what you had to go through to recover would kill lesser women and men."
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	"However," he pauses before looking back up into her beautiful eyes.
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	"When I thought I had lost you I was on the verge of madness. Regret and rage tore at me like a Tyraq tears into prey." He smiles, "the Emperor is merciful. You still lived, though barely, and I was able to stabilize you until I could get you here where Maurice was kind enough to have you treated."
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	"Since we left you aboard the Mentirosa, many things have transpired...terrible things. Which has helped give me perspective on my life." He struggles for a moment, he bows his head and takes in a deep breath, oathing a silent prayer. "What I'm about to say is very selfish of me, but I must say it lest I let my cowardice lead to the biggest regret of my life."
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	"Kahina....I wish you to be mine, and me yours. I wish to spend the rest of my life at your side, and to have you at mine. I love you, with all my being, and with everything that I can give."
	CawklesGM	Listening to Izem speak, Kahina begins to put her medicae auxilia training to good use and reattach all the sensors and wires that were stuck to her moments before. She slides down her hospital gown to the top of her chest, and parts of her upper breasts become visible. They are extremely discolored, nearly four shades paler than the surrounding flesh; they don't look sickly, just..fresh?
	CawklesGM	Like she hasn't exposed them to the sun for years. She slides her over to her chest and begins reattaching a variety of sensors. The track-servitor, a bio-mechanical fleshy creature built into the hospital bed, becomes to emit a warbling beat to the rhythm of her heart. As she reattaches her opiate lifeline, Izem's bomb finally drops. The tracker-servitor's song quickens in tempo.
	CawklesGM	"I-..." Kahina's jaw sags until her mouth is completely agape. The rolling of her tongue and the twisting of her features indicate a struggle for speech but the inability to find it. Fresh tears stream anew, and she shamefully casts her eyes to the floor. "Izem..." She slurs, the flesh stream of narcotics seemingly taking an immediate hold. [Qom] "Izem, let me tell you something. We have been fast friends for a long time. My sons respect you very much. We have trudged through the pits of man's foibles and ascended to the peaks of his achievements. I was so afraid of what I began to feel. I am no adulteress. I know my husband watches me still, and will great his wife beside the Golden Throne so that we might celebrate our matrimony forever. But..." Her leaky eyes move up, her beautiful dark hair cascading around her face, framing her distraught features in tresses of pure black. "I don't know what has happened between us, Izem. Your little flirtations seemed like jests to me before, but then you offered to be my war-friend for life, and to care for my children. Then you gave it your all to protect me and my sons, suffering injury or worse to save me from my own foolishness. I realized slowly what I really meant to you, and that meant I had to think about what YOU really meant to me. And, and...I-"
	CawklesGM	Kahina weeps freely now, burying her face in the palms of her hands. "I don't know what I can do, Izem. You are a beautiful man. A strong man. My heart and my body aches for you, but I can't. Yours was the first name that I called out for when I awoke from my surgeries, and yours was the face I saw in my dreams when I lay in drug induced stupor. I love you too, Izem. I love you like no other woman has loved a man, but I cannot. I cannot. This love I want to give you, I have shared it with another man. A man who expects me to stay faithful. A man who would see me killed if I surrender my heart- or worse still, my bed- to a ra'iib. What we both feel...It will...I just-" Her hand raises itself and seemingly reaches for Izem's face without her consent. Tearfully, she looks up to him and chokes. "I can't go through it again, Izem! All my excuses are just obfuscating cowardice! What I just said, that is the God-Emperor's truth! I am a coward! You freely admit your feelings and I try my best to quash them, because I fear their implications! I am so sorry, Izem; I have forced you to live this lie for so long."
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	His emotions are a tumultuous storm of many things, none clear. First rage, then sadness, then frustration, and so on and so on, never abating. Of course she would continue to love her dead husband how could he be such a selfish monster. Especially after he learned of the traditions of her people from Kahina herself. 'Love is a noose.' The thought brought back a painful memory of the first time he experienced such pain. Though much smaller in comparison to this it was his first taste of what it feels to be heartbroken. He had confessed feelings for an older woman when he was much younger, barely a man, he came to understand later on that it was nothing more than infatuation than true love, such as it was now. Even then it still hurt back then, and he had done the only sensible thing he could think of to drown out the pain, he went to the Lapper and drank until he blacked out. While doing that though, many older and younger staff and soldiers gave me him stories and advice about love and dating and this and that, but one thing that stood out from all the others came from a seasoned campaigner who'd been with the BT his whole life. "Relationships are like ropes they bind us together, but love is a noose, son. For better or for worse."
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	That one utterance, that one piece of advice rang through him, like a massive bell chime that shakes the very body and soul. For some time he said nothing, just letting his emotions continue to roil until he finally willed himself to calm. Izem lets out a ragged breath and stands and stares down at her. His look is pained, but it is also a look of understanding...and love. He can't quash his love for her, won't, even it remains a dead end that leads to the gallows.
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	[Qom] "It is not a lie that I have lived, Kahina. No matter what...I can't let go of my love for you. Never. And you say you are a coward, but what does that make me? I knew of your situation, more so than I deserved, and I still asked you of such a selfish thing...Emperor forgive me."
	CawklesGM	"Izem," She says with some sternness, taking his real hand in both of hers. "Izem, listen to me. You perhaps misheard what I said. It is not just you who is living the lie, but me as well. These things I have said, the memories of my husband and the principles to which he martyred himself for, they are but excuses. Lies. I approach your affection with trepidation for one reason and one reason only...I don't want to lose you, Izem. What if I dedicate myself to you as we both wish, and give myself to you wholly? I will once again be incomplete if something...awful transpires once again. You were lucky this time, but for how long will the God-Emepror see it fit to labor on your behalf? When you are gone..." Her voice drifts off, ragged with pain and vile thoughts. "What's left of me will wither and die. This frightens me more than you can understand."
	CawklesGM	"We are in this together, Izem. War Friends. Without you, I shall surely perish, either in body or in soul."
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	It hasn't even been half of an hour and Izem has experienced quite nearly every emotion in the spectrum of human feelings. And he laughs. [Qom] "How stupid I have been. I fear it is the mess that is my emotion but I seem to have misinterpreted what you said." He sighs a relief. "For better or for worse I feel the same way. I couldn't bear to live with the thought of you dead, and I nearly dropped over that edge, but the God-Emperor above has seen fit to deliver us from that." A small smile creeps across his face.
	CawklesGM	"Indeed he has," She smiles, blinking away what tears she has left as she settles into her hospital bed. "Lay beside me, Izem. That kindly, erm...metal man has neglected to change my face bandages, and I could use help changing them." She demonstrates this unease by attempting to do the work herself, before pain in her joints and bones forces her stop. The chirping of the servitor seemingly continues to climb in pace as she winces in pain.
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	"Of course, allow me to aid you." He approaches the bed and gently aids her.
	CawklesGM	The bandages wrapping her face smell faintly of mint and are almost pure in their white color; they must have some form of healing ointment. Its effects are clear when Izem begins to unwrap her face and she does not cry out, does not squirm, and doesn't even whimper. It comes off quickly and cleanly, revealing the burnt ruin underneath. It is a lot less inflamed than it usually is, and now it just seems like her skin was hideously cooked years ago, the spots that no doubt once ran red with burning acid now just cooled pits in her face. Her milky white eye twinkles despite its lifelessness, and she looks at Izem in his eyes. "Izem, may I ask something of you?"
	CawklesGM	Kahina takes her hair and tries to brush it out of her face, baring her countenance to the world. For the first time in what feels like years, she finally sees and gets seen. Her lips tremble, her face goes flush, but she is empowered now in ways that she is not used to.
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	He stares in wonder at the healing, wait healing? How is this possible he thinks to himself. Remarkable. He realizes he's staring and quickly looks away for a moment before answering. "Always."
	CawklesGM	Kahina, with some effort, pinches his chin and makes her look at her. Her two faces, one beautiful, one repulsive, stare out at him as a whisper of a smile crosses her face. "Will you marry me?"
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	He smiles, the biggest smile he thinks he's ever given to anyone. He doesn't say anything, seemingly he doesn't even breathe. Izem closes his eyes and answers her with a kiss.
	CawklesGM	Kahina squeaks in surprise as his lips touch hers, but with closed-eyed bliss she melts in his embrace and wraps her arms around him, dragging him down into the hospital bed. It's a bit cramped, but neither seem to mind as their passionate embrace continues. Kahina comes alive under Izem's attentions, her flesh not feeling the touch of a man since her husband's death, and her excitement is evident with her exploratory hands. She runs her hands through his hair, breaking away that she might whisper in his ear: "God-Emperor forgive me, but I don't think I will tell my father about this. Or my sister. No one but you, me, and our comrades will know." Rather than sounding hurt, she seems almost jubilant, like a naughty child getting away with some crime. She pecks his lips and smiles. "Will you lay like this with me, for awhile, my love?"
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	Izem almost hesitates. Almost. He uses all of his willpower to bury the treacherous thought of her sister. I won't ruin this moment, damn my mistakes. "I'm almost afraid to say yes, lest I wake up from this wondrous dream." He gives her a quick kiss again.
	CawklesGM	She drapes her arm around him, painfully, her eyelids sagging down as she continues to bathe him in the warmness of her affection. The painkillers taking hold, she nuzzles Izem, pressing her forehead against his and breathing her hot breath all over his face. "I am going to rest now, Izem. Thank...Thank you for visiting me. This, this is good. This...is..." Her words drunkenly stumble from her mouth, and soon enough the only thing coming from her mouth is spittle. She is dead asleep, her face peaceful and in repose. Her stiff arm, still draped around Izem, somehow manages to drag him closer to her into a snuggle. Looks like she's not letting go anytime soon.
	Izem_abn_Anaruz	Izem smiles despite himself, and gets into a more comfortable position. He wraps his other arm around her and relaxes, and in due time let's sleep take him into it's sweet embrace, her warmth and touch helping whisk him away to heaven.