-- CURRENT lordTrelane [CLT] Sitting in the livingroom, carving and building a new bed frame. --
-- CURRENT birdDave [CBD] walks tiredly into the livingroom, hair a mess, but his feathers looking more orderly. Of course, there are already several loose feathers, but otherwise he looks recently preened. The same can't be said for his messy hair, and the tired eyes with dark bags hidden behind his shades. A microwaved frozen burrito in his hand, he wanders over to watch what Quinn is making. --
CBD: hey
CLT: Oh, hello Dave.
CBD: sup quinn
CLT: Have you been sleeping alright?
CBD: i guess
CBD: what are you making
-- CURRENT birdDave [CBD] takes a large bite of his burrito --
CLT: A new bed-frame.
CBD: oh right
CBD: haha
CLT: ...It is not that funny...
CLT: I am going to have to make this stronger than the last one.
CBD: yeah no shit
CBD: heh
CLT: I did not think I could get so rowdy.
CBD: me neither dude
CLT: Well, Bro seemed to enjoy it.
CBD: heh lucky
CLT: Are you perhaps not recieving intimacy?
CBD: you could say that but even if i was it wouldnt help
CLT: What is bothering you?
CLT: Sit with me and we can discuss it.
CBD: not really sure if i want to talk about my sex life with you dude
CLT: Why not?
CBD: well you tend to get flustered about that kind of stuff and also technically youre my step dad
CLT: ...\
CLT: I can still listen.
CLT: I will give better advice than Artemis in any case.
CBD: i dunno dude i dont want to make you uncomfortable talking about my under-represented kinks
ceased responding to memo.
CLT: It is... Alright.
CLT: I will listen.
CBD: aight if you say so
-- CURRENT birdDave [CBD] takes another bite of his burrito, sitting next to Quinn, taking a minute before he starts talking --
CBD: the problem with my sex life is that i prefer being on the receiving end of things if you know what i mean but so does karkat
CLT: Okay, I can see where this would be unfortunate.
CBD: but he used to give in and top for me sometimes but now we cant even do that anymore cuz apparently i can lay valid eggs and i dont even know how to use protection with my anatomy combined with his
CBD: hes got some sort of tentacle thing going on and i admit its really fucking hot but its kinda hard to put a condom on that
CBD: and even if we could you know how much you trolls jizz so thatd probably just pop a condom
-- CURRENT lordTrelane [CLT] Face and ears are completely blue, but he's still listening. --
CBD: but the worst part of all this is that i have a huge fucking kink for lots of jizz in my ass but whoops cant do that or tim might get a little sibling
CBD: so im kinda stuck not having sex how i like it
CBD: like
CBD: evber
-- CURRENT birdDave [CBD] ever* --
CLT: ...
CLT: I... Uh... See..
CBD: ... yeah i think i shouldnt have talked to you about this
CLT: I th-think you should try perhaps a chemical form of birth control.
CLT: I have heard of these pills for that.
CBD: see thats the thing i usually have to stay away from medication because of my weird hybrid biology
CBD: its kinda hard to get any sort of medication that works with combination bird and human physiology
CBD: last time i took human medicine i got really ill
CLT: Oh dear.
CLT: Um.I do not know what I could recommend.
CLT: Brb))
CBD: yeah neither does anybody else
CBD: which is the problem
CBD: no one knows what to do
CBD: ((ok ))
CLT: Back.))
CBD: (( yay! ))
CLT: I did not know that Karkat's anatomy was so different from my own...
CLT: Hm...
CBD: well hes kinda pretty different from everyone
CLT: That is true.
CLT: Perhaps you could alchemize a sort of medicine that would not make you ill?
CBD: ... maybe
CBD: might have to ask the vetbot about that if bro ever finishes him
CLT: That would be a good idea.
CLT: And then you will be able to... Indulge you... Um... Kinks.
CLT: Your*))
CBD: yeaaahhh
CBD: and id really just
CBD: like to not have any more kids
CBD: ever
CLT: You do have a lot.
CBD: and
CBD: dont tell karkat but
CBD: im actually taking care of three other kids besides my own
CLT: Really? Why?
CBD: cause they dont got anyone else
CBD: theres drache and lun that are daveins 2 kids he left behind
CBD: and then theres a baby version of bro that no ones looking after so ive been taking care of him
CLT: Oh goodness...
CBD: i mean i cant just leave them to fend for themselves theyre just babies yknow?
CLT: If you reQuire any help, feel free to ask.
CBD: no im fine
CBD: ive been taking care of the lot of them fine on my own
CBD: karkat helps with jaden and sunny and felix and thats all i can ask for
CLT: Alright. But still, if ever you wish for a break, I am here.
-- CURRENT artemisEntreri [CAE] Playing a light, cheerful melody on his flute up in the rafters. --
CBD: i dont need a break im fine
CAE: I think I have a solution to your problems, Dave.
CBD: what is it artemis
CLT: Do not talk to him, he is scowly and mean.
CAE: Oh, pipe down, bed breaker.
CAE: It's a herb.
CBD: heh
CBD: an herb?
CLT: Yes.
CLT: Once ingested, it renders whoever is using it infertile for a short time.
-- CURRENT artemisEntreri [CAE] * --
CAE: Wrong window...))
CBD: i dunno dude some things that are safe for humans aint safe for birds
CBD: like plants
CBD: ill have to run it by the vetbot
CAE: I've seen animals eat these things.
CBD: have you seen birds eat it
CBD: birds are different
CAE: It's a plant and it isn't poisonous.
CAE: I could test in on a bird if you'd like.
CBD: maybe
CBD: not really fond of animal testing
CAE: Better than testing it on you.
CBD: ill just run it by the vetbot he can probably just look at it and run it through databases or some robotic shit i dunno
CAE: In any case, the expensive courtesans of Calimport use this herb so that they don't have to worry about anything that might drain their business practices.
CBD: yeah yeah
-- CURRENT birdDave [CBD] has finished his burrito, but still looks hungry. He's a bit on the skinny side currently, like he hasn't been eating properly. --
CAE: I have even tested it myself.
CBD: uh huh
CAE: A long time ago.
CAE: In my thirties.
-- CURRENT birdDave [CBD] gets up to toss the burrito wrapper in the trash --
CBD: that was like a million years ago right
CAE: ...137 years ago.
CAE: It was merely for the physical release of pent-up stress.
CBD: yeah i get you
CAE: You sound disinterested.
CBD: no im totally interested tell me more
CBD: really this is absolutely riveting
CAE: ...
CLT: Dave... I do not think he can tell when you are sincere.
CBD: neither can i
CAE: If you are not interested, I feel no need to provide this herb for you.
CBD: sorry dude im interested im just a little braindead
CBD: didnt sleep a lot
-- CURRENT birdDave [CBD] from another room comes the sound of at least one small child starting to wail. Bird's feathers fluff right on up as he becomes alert. --
CBD: shit
CAE: Duty calls.
CBD: ill get back to you on the herb thing aiight but i gott go
-- CURRENT birdDave [CBD] gotta* --
CCC made KK an OP.
-- CURRENT birdDave [CBD] and off Bird goes, up the stairs to handle some chilluns --
ceased responding to memo.