spirituality and spirits

I don’t believe in God, but I am somewhat certain that there is something unexplainable out there that gets off on making an ironic example out of me. For example, the other night I was really high and I couldn’t find my weed. I spent two hours looking for it before I remembered that I had smoked it.

I used to not believe in ghosts, but that all changed recently when I realized that I’m being haunted. I was talking to a friend of mine and he told me about how he believes that his whole life he’s had this paranormal entity following him to every house he’s moved into. I asked him why he thinks this and he told me that he always sees shit in the corner of his eye and that he’ll set his keys somewhere and when he goes to find them they turn up somewhere else. I was like, holy shit; I think this guy’s ghost is cheating on him with me because this same shit always happens to me. This whole time I’ve been blaming marijuana for my tendency to lose my keys, but it’s actually just because I played with a Quija board when I was a kid.